EYE: Saddam's Execution, America's Monkey Pot

Eve of Year's End: America ushers in a new year with the death of dictator Saddam Hussein. Ever since the American involvement with their Iraqi monkey pot, life for Americans and Iraqis alike has never been the same. If nobody went in to dethrone a dictator, then nobody would be stuck with having to keep the pieces somewhat together. It's just like a monkey pot: If you don't release your grip, you can't get free. It's even worse when there's a very compelling to not get free.

Well anyway, Saddam's dead now, I think. And...I don't think things will just magically get better. Happy new year's eve.

Curiosity Killed

When a one is born, one possesses a sense of wonder. As one discovers that stuff like fires burn the skin and blades cut the flesh, one learns to avoid this and that. Time passes...and the "knowledge" ossifies... Soon, there are "normal" things that one comes into safe contact with on a daily basis, with everything else being "weird" and to be avoided.

Adults lose their sense of wonder and innocent curiosity somewhere along their maturation. Present an adult with an example of prime weirdness and the adult may just seize up. Present a child with the same and you may just find curiosity.

Where did the difference come from? Apparently, when one grows up, one finds that the world is a serious, dangerous place. Everything strange and unknown becomes a threat of bodily harm...a spectre in the face of stability and all things orderly and good. What killed curiousity?

A Wet Season

I feel like a character in a gritty film noir story, with nearly incessant rain and a very nice gloomy landscape. Gloomy...just like the days before Ragnarok. Mind, this isn't a bad thing to me, since it also means cooler weather. I like things cool to chilly, though not permanently since I'd get tired of perpetually being in winter wear. Clothing is as much functional as it is fashionable, after all. There's no way I'm gona wear a slip when the mercury's scraping the bottom...

I can't bring myself to trust authority. Especially human authority. Where there is a concentration of power, there is potential for abuse. Granted, absolute authority under a perfect leadership would lead to unprecedented progress...but that's just like hoping that Communism would succeed: There is no perfect human system out there. As usual, I'm amazed at how people can respect authority. Power is as much given as it is taken. Much of what powerful people have is quite imaginary. A dictator may command the military, but the military's just as equipped to squash him like a bug. A rich person may find the money evaporating in the next recession.

The Thrill Of Discovery

There can be few allegations more insulting than that some foreigner "discovered" your land. I mean, if there are already human natives living on that land, others should have no right to claim that they "discovered" the place. Yanou, dibs on the "discovery" thing since you're already living there. Moreover, crediting someone else for discovering your homeland is, in effect, declaring that someone's superior and that their explorers have more of an ability to recognize where you are and how to name your land than you do.

Techno-Dystopia

Convenience through convergence. The greater convenience technology brings is tempered by the lack of privacy that will become a necessary evil. Every government department will receive news that you moved from one house to another without your having to lift a finger...and they can just as easily know where to send that next late tax notice...

While the powers-that-be may tout the numerous benefits of progress, technology and the future, I think society is moving more towards a dystopia than a utopia. After all, the cyberpunk novels have been written about zaibatsus and how these giant firms begin to dominate the cyber-world. Greater and greater "security measures" are being devised to protect the rights of the rich as much as they are around to prevent crimes against the common citizens.

Perhaps a time will come, in the not-so-distant future, when mega-firms become veritable media monopolies in and of themselves. The authorities may have allied themselves so closely to these firms that there will be little room on the legitimate cyber-world to do anything that isn't strictly within the stipulated laws. And in such a world where cameras are virtually invisible even to the trained eye, there may be no safe haven for those who wish to oppose or cut themselves off from the authority-dominated society.

Some say that privacy is for criminals, who do not wish their evil deeds to be made known. But what of honest citizens who wish to stand up for their rights when the authorities think otherwise? What of those who just wish to not have some Big Brother staring over their shoulders? With the advent of new privacy-free technologies like e-voting, the epoch of a techno-dystopia may be sooner than some think.

New Perfume!

My mom's friend passed on some of her extra makeup stuff, and they had the Ralph Lauren and Dior perfumes I was kinda hoping to get. No more hoping! Oh, and a nice bunch of nail polish, too. That'd save me some dough this Christmas. That's not to mention that I finally have some more stuff to fill my trinket rack. At the moment, my table just looks untidy. But with this stuff neatly organized on a trinket rack, I'm pretty sure it can look a whole not more presentable. Neatness expected to last till I get back to school...after which notes and whatnot shall start piling up as I sink back into neatness empathy.

Mewwy Squishmas, everyone.

A New Bag

I got myself a new backpack. It's chocolate brown and has pouches on the exterior. I'm a tad too lazy to take pics at the moment. Anyway, it's pretty imo and was bargained down to a decent price. However, I feel it's a tad big...hmm... I mean you know how everything looks wonderful the first time you see it, and then you wana buy it, and then make an effort to buy it and then sit around wondering what the hell you've just done. Anyway, I doubt this would be a terribly bad purchase...but I guess it could've been more carefully considered.

A Humorless God?

Christmas is coming, and I find it strange that while people may engage in their yuletide cheer, they also believe that their Christian God is some humorless being. I mean, humans may be overly serious. However, what do they think God is? Human?

Everything written in what they believe to be religious texts are taken literally, and often out of context. And that's assuming that what was written was meant to be serious reading in the first place. After all, when you're almighty, there is probably some room for fun and laughter. You'd probably be entitled to that, at least.

So what if the entirety of creation were as such just because some almighty decided to have a spot of fun? Reality could be a part of the joke, and naturally the denizens of reality wouldn't be in on that joke or they would cease to be amusing.

That's not to assume, of course, that reality is most certainly a joke. Some may think such a hypothetical situation is blasphemous. However, such a notion would assume that the Christian God has no room for amusement... I just think humans are overly dour and serious about life. I guess that's a result of short mortal lives. Fragile existences that depend on their humorless god.

The Supernatural

It appears that Hollywood has warmed up to the idea of the supernatural. New shows featuring the supernatural no longer portray anything even vaguely supernatural as something satanic or otherwise sinister. There are times when one may wonder if the pagans have finally made it to the production teams, or that the producers have warmed up to the idea that pentacles aren't normally used to summon demons. Anyway, I guess that some of the more conservative christians would be up in arms against this fairly harmless portrayal of what some may regard as witchcraft.

It's just interesting that some things the people held as folk beliefs are now being shown in terms of what they were originally meant to represent. They were originally framed in the contexts of truly dark and evil-looking crime scenes involving ritual killers or demon worshippers.

Warlock: A Daemon's Musings

Unlike the perceptions forced upon the minds of the gullible by popular fiction, mind-control need not be of the sort that renders an innocent maiden doe-eyed and malleable to every whimsical command. And not every daemon is capable of that sort of mind control, apparently.

I do not really like the art of persuasion. It is bad enough making people do what you want. It is, in my opinion, far worse to make them think that it was their idea in the first place. This can amount to no less than the gross violation of free will.

There are times when I do not even need verbal cues to bend another’s will. Subtle and not so subtle effects may be achieved by merely willing them. An imposition upon another’s will by a single thought. It works, yes, but it seems hardly different from persuasion.

It is nice to be able to bring ends to feuds, like that minor one with dad recently. Still, it sends shivers through one’s conscience – if one has it, that is – for thusly influencing others. After all, I think one would hardly wish to be manipulated in this way.

The Second Day

Yeah, well, this is the second day of the fallout over that argument. Dad refuses to speak to me, and I bet he's still very annoyed or something. The problem is that if he won't speak, I can't really get an apology across, and I don't actually feel like apologizing for letting him annoy me in the first place. Then again, it's likely his way of cooling off so that he can have civil conversations again.

I feel bad about it, yeah. But I also feel kinda wronged since he's known me for so long and obviously didn't detect that I was getting seriously pissed. Anyway, this reminds me how much crap parents have to put up with. He still did the laundry and put 'em where they were supposed to be. But then, I'm seldom at home enough to actually do the stuff for him, and he never asks. I find it difficult to do things when there is no coordination and no clear instructions. After all, there's a distinct chance that I'd be in the middle of doing some of the housework and he'd come in and just take over.

Oh, and I feel that he's lonely. It's weird, but he's always at home alone, watching TV and maybe going out. There really isn't much he can do to socialize besides being with the other exercise buddies. I'd want to be there for him, but we just don't have stuff to talk about. And even civil conversations are minefields. He may just step on one and set me off. Ah, well.

I Just Don't Get Dad

I don't know why, really. Dad just has this way of setting me off. Yes, and that's even with casual conversation sometimes. He doesn't usually comment on my conduct or attire or whatever. He just has a way of disagreeing with me on some stuff that I'd say, and it really irks me.

The strange thing is that it's just dad. Mom or someone else may disagree on exactly the same point but I won't find it insulting, and it seldom makes me feel like yelling at them. I do try to manage the irritation, but it just has a way of leaking out and asserting itself. Guess I'm uncomfortable with dad or maybe harbour some resentment towards him. I duno...avoiding him would avert conflict but it feels like I'm running away from the problem. I just haven't figured out how to fix it.

Anyway, he seems pissed, too. He's always like that after we have a fight. It's funny, since I'm usually the one to be overtly angry, and he's the one to burn slowly over time.

Which Box?

Newcomb's Paradox doesn't seem like much of a paradox. The assumption is that people would want the 1000 bucks in the first place. That'd be why they choose both. There is also the assumption that the really superior alien wasn't just pulling everyone's legs. There could be nothing in either box. The alien was lying.

Should the choices be already known to the alien, one would wonder why an alien would be so kind as to place a million bucks in the box chosen. Then again, if that were truly the case, then the alien would've just lied and had a good laugh out of people choosing the single box. Probability is against such people. Besides, the fun of surprising a rather superior alien who seems to know anything is probably worth a million bucks in itself

Assuming that the alien wasn't lying, however, a gambler would likely choose the mysterious million or nothing box. After all, the thousand bucks isn't fun if you never knew if your choice somehow affected your chance of getting the million.

All in all, what if the alien was just bluffing that it knew what you would think? Humans are such gullible creatures.

Test Every System

No human system is ever perfect. There are inevitably loopholes, almost always in the places where human minds seldom venture to think. The problem of "unbeatable" systems is that the encompass so much of common human trains of thought that very few people will ever muster the effort and creativity to actually beat them. There are also other systems that imply some very real penalties to those who try to beat them, and so people never do try at all.

Simply put, if everyone were to put in a bit of effort to prod at unpleasant systems at least once, and in previously unthinkable ways, it is highly probable that the systems will continually be beaten even though they have been repeatedly patched. It's such a simple thing, but it will prevent systems...or authorities...from consistently having the upper hand over everyone else...or the users.

Naw, You Tell Me

I like this youtube vid. So you have 1000 choices. Make one. Quickly. Make sure it's the best one. Can't huh. Tell ya what, 999 of them are invalid. Go on, make your choice again.

The key to satisfaction is having low expectations. I really can't disagree with a view like this. Sure, it seems hilarious at first, given how we're trained to always seek out the very best of the best. Then again, perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. By definition, the very best you can possibly choose would likely be...well...flawed in some way.

The problem here, is choice, again. In the absence of choice of some sort (perhaps by extenuating circumstances or a lack of awareness of options) will make it easier to make that choice. Easy enough. However, let some time pass and provide some superior options that can't be made because the first choice had already been made. Outcome? It is highly likely that satisfaction will be reduced as a result.

What went wrong? The first choice was the best given the circumstances. In the absence of any other choices becoming available in the near future, it was actually rather satisfactory and would have remained so. Strange...

Once Again...

It's incredible how months of mess can just...disappear. I spent like an hour and some clearing my room, and after tossing out several small plastic bags of trash, the place is magically transformed from a pigsty into something...vaguely respectable. For some reason, I can never bring myself to tidy the place during a busy semester. It's just homework after homework after homework and then projects and then some more reading on top of that. Then again, it's probably because I'm out of the home almost all the time, so I don't really get to see and become irked by the mess. Yeah. That's it. Anyway, it's just sufficient that my room's tidy enough to perform rituals in again. Now, about that demon summoning...

Another Excuse For Inaction

Everyone goes through it, so you're not alone. (You're supposed to leave it at that) I mean, there are only a few of you with that complaint. We still have to cater to the majority. (You're supposed to leave it at that, too) Ok...that sounds reasonable...

Wait a minute...where does the action come in?

Stand Up For Your Faith

The world hates you. Basically, it just hates you especially if what you believe in conflicts with what (almost) everyone else does, even if it harms no one. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs. However, so are you. If there is something you truly believe in, be prepared to stand up for it.

It's easier said than done, sometimes. I mean, by faith, some people will think about religious fanatics and tree-huggers chained to redwoods. But what of the little things like the dogs that get dragged to the pound when the cats are free to roam the streets, or that little match girl who froze to death 'coz she couldn't open a can of baked beans?

There are little injustices out there all the time. They are likely to remain injustices because nobody takes note of them. And even if someone does, chances are that the protest would be drowned out by more pressing issues such as having to secure a steady supply of the world's dwindling oil reserves by causing havoc elsewhere. Still, perhaps that little injustice was never solved because even those who believed in fixing it simply did not have enough faith...

If A Bomb Goes Off In A Forest...

Does anyone hear it? Seriously, though, a sacrifice that is potentially earth-shattering may just fall flat if there's nobody to appreciate it. I mean, it's great to matyr yourself and all, but it plain doesn't cut it if nobody regards it as a worthy sacrifice, or worse yet, a meaningful one.

Ok so you just destroyed your career prospects and possibly your personal liberties as a citizen. Big whoop if the media figures that it's not newsworthy, or worse yet, if the media is hushed up by the powers-that-be. You got your pain, now live with it.

Sucks, doesn't it. Life does. Why do I bother? Well, because maybe, just maybe, something will happen when there's that little squeak in the forest that nobody would usually hear.

Girls, Be Ambitious

Just how ambitious can you be? How ambitious do you let yourself be? And how ambitious do the people around let you be? I think people should dream for themselves and dare to dream for themselves. A dream will never become reality if one never tries to realize that dream. Granted, some dreams are downright impossible.

However, impossible is something that cannot be empirically proven. How do you know that something is impossible unless you have tried every single possibility that should lead to the desired conclusion? It is likely impossible to try every single possibility within a human lifetime to prove conclusively that something is impossible.

Hence, it should be such that everyone at least tries to make a push towards what they envision themselves to be. The pressure is great to conform to the norms of society, to become what the average person does, get married, have kids, fade peacefully into suburbia. However, the means by which one achieves that goal may differ from person to person. More importantly, what if that is not the goal for the individual in question?

Perhaps it is time that we set ambitions for ourselves instead of letting others dictate what our ambitions should be. It may sound selfish, but an ambition for oneself need not exclude those we care for and those we feel obligated towards. However, it would likely be as selfish of them to expect that one live one's life entirely in accordance to what they expect. Girls, be ambitious. Things become impossible only when one stops trying.

I am older now, and there is a cricket playing its song at my place.

Being Strong

Being strong has little to do with the attempt to hide weakness. One is as one is. If one hides one's weakness instead of facing it, one buries that unresolved weakness deep within one's core. The rot at the core spreads outwards.

It is dangerous to hide a flaw once one learns of it. Much energy may be wasted trying to conceal the flaw, whether from others or from oneself. What good is a fortress that harbours weak foundations?

Strength stems from acknowledging the inherent imperfections in oneself rather than hiding them for the sake of pride. After all, is it not weakness to hide when one can take that imperfection into the light and face it once and for all?

That Time of Month

No, not *that* time of month. It's egg jam season again! And now, this is the time when I feel the most alive. There's a deadline, there's an objective and there's a clear-cut thing to look forward to when it's all over. Guess I'll be writing even more over the next few days, when I go through the material and get all sorts of weird ideas to rant about. It's going to be fun, fun, fun! Pity not everyone enjoys egg jams as much as I do. hee~~ Hey! I see a windmill! Charge!

Mishmash the Mismatch

I dropped my Porta-Navi. I dropped her for the first time. What was it that I felt when she fell? Was it pain? Was it concern? It is so hard to tell when you are still mostly numb. My notes fell, and as I bent over to pick them up, the laptop fell as well. She landed on her side. I dare say that I felt more in that moment than I ever did when I received news that my first uncle died. *taps keys* Yep. Still functional.

What is pain? Why does pain insinuate itself vicariously via empathy such that you feel something when you really should not? It is strange how I can feel a pain that is not even real. Why would I hurt myself in anticipation of others hurting me? It is illogical. There are too many things that are illogical.

Emotions are illogical. Politeness is illogical. Many widely accepted norms are illogical. All meaning as artificial constructs. Life is meaningless. Meaning is created. Thus does *living* have its meaning, which does not truly exist. Willpower makes things real, but how real is real? A perceived hurt that does not exist? Emotional pain that has no roots in physical damage? Why, why, why...why get up? Why do I persist?

If Yan Can Take It, So Can You!

Having millions of people enduring something for tens of generations or more does not make something right. Whenever I rail at someone about perceived social injustices, I get answers like if everyone can put up with it, why can't you? Truly, I do not see why skirts come with no pockets, and why people would carry handbags that're overloaded, really heavy and terrible for the posture. Beauty need not involve inordinate amounts of suffering. High heels are an abomination!

Ok, fashion aside, we have things like people being required by their companies to do the work of two people. We have overworked people having trouble looking after their own children. And now both the husband and wife have to work to maintain an "average" way of life, instead of having only one spouse working at a time. Facts of life? Everyone takes it, I suppose, or so says my friend. I guess if humans are content with what is going on, what right have I to demand that they change their ways. Go ahead, live in your Matrix. The steaks are tastier in there.

Death Note

I watched Death Note! I shall write this as a movie reviewer instead of as a manga reader, since I think the movie itself was pretty darned brilliant, adaptation or no. The storyline was seriously twisted, and somewhat in the league of Seven (for those who actually watched that).

The story is about this kid who finds a notebook belonging to a death deity. If a name is written in the book, and the person's face is thought of, the person of that name will die of a heart attack. Additional details may be included to induce other deaths. However, people cannot be compelled to kill by writing in the Death Note.

When criminals started dying in large numbers, the authorities started suspecting a killer. They called in L, a seriously weird character, to investigate.

I loved the movie for its narrative. There were few special effects except for the animation of the death deity. Much of the story was told by implication, explication and the prominence of significant objects. Objects related to the crimes were brought up, and though they were not explained, the mere presence of those objects told the story all by themselves. Also, the story explained the rationale behind certain apparently illogical deaths through the admission of the protagonist.

I'd say that this is a great movie, and a rather refreshing break from the usual action movie packed to the brim with special effects. It just takes drama, a brilliant narrative and good acting to bring this movie to life.

WWLS: Why Would Life Suck?

Shit happens. Get used to it. Or at least, that's what I usually try to tell myself. I read this book entitled "A Castle in the Window" by Laura Stevenson. It's about this girl who is dyslexic. Sounds like an aspie to me, though. I'm probably aspie anyway.

Erin never could read things the way normal people would. But the people around her forced her to learn things the way normal people would. There was no other way. Not to them anyway.

Later in the story, she hears about the black angels from her aunt. Black angels are those insidious little voices that tell you that you're worthless. That you're inferior to others. That your actions will be in vain. She is taught to become consciously aware of these dark whispers and to silence them whenever they come up.

Perhaps this is why life sucks sometimes? When things just seem so hopeless that I can't seem to get through certain things? Times when I can't get through to mom and all that? Is it the black angel speaking? Shut up!

As a side note, it would be interesting to consider what a country could probably do if it were in dire need of people to populate it. Assuming that women do indeed protest their ill treatment by going on reproductive strike, there is a possibility that the "authorities" in power enslave females and use them as living wombs to bolster the population. Bene Tleilax, anyone?

A disturbing possibility, but possible nonetheless. It has happened before that the more militant half of humanity subjugate their better halves. What is worse is that there is an economic benefit to this: If a man has multiple wives, it may be possible that the child-parent ratio will increase. However, this atrocity must be prevented at all costs, even if there are claims that it is "for the good of the country". That phrase seems to have become a blanket excuse for just about every inhumane act in recent history.

Why would life suck? I don't know, but I think it has something to do with the exams coming and the feeling that something's just...not...right.

Plans Within Plans Within Plans

Layer upon layer of subtlety. That is what human speech is encased in. They have "politeness" and "etiquette" and all sorts of absurd customs that merely serve to obscure the true meaning of their speech. It would appear that humans are incapable of saying things literally and meaning what they say.
If one thinks one can safely assume that such subtlety is the domain of politicians, they are patently wrong. "Politics" have wormed their way to even the lowest of human ranks. It is no longer sufficient to go "Here I am, and this is what I can do." There are "many other factors to take into consideration", many of which are completely irrelevant to efficiency and functionality.
Would an organization or company suffer an incompetent but socially adept worker to endure? Apparently so. Plans within plans within plans. Even inept social incompetents are awarded key positions by virtue of the people they know. And people wonder at the inefficiencies of human systems...

It's So Simple...

That phrase gives me the heebie jeebies. Why? It's just so simple to fall back on the simplest, most apparent solution. An over-reliance on Occam's Razor breeds intellectual laziness that will hinder innovation. It is so easy to fall back on tried and tested solutions that some solutions may remain unchanged for incredibly long periods of time.

True democracy cannot and will never exist. It is impossible to receive aye or nay responses from every single member of an entire population within a reasonable time frame in order to make decisions. A more realistic solution would be to endorse the tyranny of the majority of the outspoken. Those who are actively interested in the way things are turning out will invariably have a greater say than those who are uninterested. Moreover, those with more of an ability to speak by virtue of fame or fortune will have more of a say than the average member of the population. Hence, the real decision making power of democracy will be in the hands of a small and not necessarily representative proportion of the population.

That is the easy way to organize a democratic leadership. The solution is tried and tested. However, it appears to be cracking some, with the elected representatives of the people taking liberties with their assigned powers. Will this change, or will Occam's Razor prevail?

Systems and Voice

My friend was talking to me about authoritarian systems and about the voice of the people. In most systems, the minions are unable and/or unwilling to speak out. This is especially true when the minions are a part of a minority. The voice of a minority is invariably softer than that of the majority, and the voice of the minions are individually softer than the united cry of the dominant.

It is, therefore, simplest that the dominants keep the minions from uniting, for in unity, the voice of the minions will easily drown out those of their keepers. The simplest way to do this is to have a self-perpetuating system whereby the minions learn to become dependent on the dominants i.e. they need "experts" to make decisions for them, causing a state of learned helplessness.

This can easily be combined with an education that teaches the minions to respect the points of authority. Helplessness and the despair that accompanies the unqualified respect for authority are great ways for the minions to never gather enough gut to get their act together and speak out.

Better yet, the human propensity for conformity will make minions even more uncertain about turning on the dominants when fellow minions kindly try to talk dissenting minions out of their "foolish ways".

The true voice of the minions exists, and that voice takes the form of the internet. It is a place where every commoner has, to a large extent, license to say what she wants. Be it seditious or plain insightful, the voice can exist, and people can hear when they wish to. Why would anyone let this space of the minions be taken over by the dominants?

What Is Honour

Honour isn't just about violence. It is about fighting for what you feel is right. How can fighting not be violent? Well, "fighting" is basically standing up for your personal code of ethics, or "honour". It is not about calling a duel over every imagined slight. When there appears to be injustice, speaking out is an honourable act. When a promise is made, honour dictates that it be kept. However, honour turns into foolishness when one tries to uphold an impossible promise.

The Child Within

When people grow up, they grow out of childhood and into adulthood. I think people suppress their childlike natures and take on adultlike natures when they grow up. Adults essentially are crippled children who will express only the parts of their true natures that are acceptable to the societies they are in. Children know no such inhibitions and are often allowed to do things which adults would not dream of doing. Such double standards are unusual, and somewhat imply the limits adults are placing on themselves just because they believe in their "right place". Adults must be responsible, bear themsleves with dignity and so on. Now, besides the law and order and productive society argument, how is it that even adults occasionally wish to let their inner child out? They want places where they can cut loose and all that. If all adults could agree that they're allowed to cut loose in a non-destructive manner anywhere they please, I figure they would jump at the suggestion. Strangely enough, this has never occured to people.

Yeasty

There can be few things more disgusting than yeast infections. They itch, they smell and they make funny looking messy things. Yuck. And that's not to mention that they seem to pop up as and when they like, often regardless of your personal hygeine. I'm so going to need something to clear that up.

Dad's on a holiday up north. What's disturbing is that I feel a sort of relief that he's not around, and almost wish that he wouldn't come back. I do not think I actually hate him that much. Maybe it's just a desire to be alone and kinda independent once in a bit, eh?

Saying No To Yourself

There is no greater disempowerment than saying no to oneself before someone else can do it. It is strange how many things are passed by on the grounds that "That's impossible" and "That won't work out". How does one know without trying! It is far better to try requesting a known impossiblility and being told "No" (which is the expected answer) than to not try at all and hazard losing the possible "Yes" that may come (all to gain, nothing to lose).
Also, why would one wish to accept the first "No"? Everyone is entitled to ask "Why?" in response to any negative answer. Too many people submit themselves to authority figures and discipline themselves before they are even sure that they are crossing a true out-of-bounds marker. Say "yes" to yourself for a change, and watch things really start to happen!

Stay Alive

I just watched Stay Alive with a friend today. I would call it an average to poor movie in terms of horror rating. It is singularly unoriginal in its presentation of its horror content, with liberal use of tension tracks and in-your-face goriness. I liked the concept, though, about a game that somehow becomes real. It reminds me of Phantoma from Serial Experiments Lain, and Penultimate, the computer program/virus that addicts users to the system itself. In Phantoma, the players become so involved in the game that they become unable to distinguish between the game and real world. Penultimate simply addicts users so deeply that they starve to death.

I like the way they used the vibration of the gamepads to signal that something "weird" is coming. It's reminiscent of Silent Hill, where the crackle of the broken radio tells you that monsters are arriving. Interestingly enough, I hear similar vibration sounds in my place, and I can kinda relate to how creepy the overall effect really is.

As for the overall content, I'm most impressed by their implementation of in-game items somehow affecting the real world. That's the one original idea they had, especially given the teamwork possible where the real world and game world are so intertwined.

After watching the whole show, I figured one thing: The players logged in and never logged out. Is it any surprise that the game kept running and players died simply because they weren't playing?

Feelings of Helplessness

I had weird feelings of helplessness through most of the previous week. I really felt like doing nothing because I was ineffectual. Now that's unusual since I usually feel rather up and ready to take on just about any ogre, giant or some other monstrosity that comes my way. Sometimes I wonder if it's because of the cycles, or because I'm picking up weird vibes from people around me. It does happen from time to time when I feel precisely what people do. Shields up!

The Past, A Present And The Future

Still standing at the crossroads, I am. Too many what-if's , really. I mean it's like what if I did this, or did not do that. But one never knows for sure unless one has trodden the path. The problem being that the path I have chosen may have been a result of foolish choices. However, what seems foolish now may prove to be the best darned thing possible in the future. *sigh* Hindsight is 20/20, after all.

Anyway, I find it strange that I feel bogged down by work yet still find time to chat online and write random stuff. Guess it's an issue of stress and a feeling of a lack of control. How can one have control when control isn't really possible most of the time?

Tweezers And Money

Strange dream, that one. I was at a challenge of sorts, and there was a box with a glass top. Under the top was a narrow slot. Within the box were compartments filled with money. The guy offered me a pair of tweezers and said that I could keep whatever money I could pick out with the tweezers. I found that I could easily reach the fattest wads at the furthest ends of the box. Getting all that money, the guy took a cut and said that I couldn't have the bunch. I was naturally unhappy, but kinda amused that I could beat the challenge so easily. Flexi fingers. heh.

Prayer And Crisis

People like to pray in times of crisis. Strangely enough, they never seem to deign it necessary to pray at other times. So I guess prayer doesn't really have a use for most people on "normal" days. Sounds a tad ungrateful and demanding, but then again, we're dealing with mortals. Most mortal creatures have so little power that they can't help but keep asking for assistance.

What Is Fate?

I do not believe in fate. Yes, maybe I'm fated to believe that. If fate were true and irrevocable, then people have no real choice. If they are born evil, there is nothing that change their evil nature except if fate wills it. That is bad, since people can basically sit back and let fate run their lives. Why do they even bother living? I think "fate" is only for the people too lazy or cowardly to take control of their lives. If you're poor, must you stay poor? If you're rich, can you improve your quality of life and/or improve others' lives? Fate is a nice thing to believe in because it can probably never be proven. But if that were the case, then religion is truly the opiate of the masses because its tenets can probably never be proven, and people believe in it regardless of its "real" truth.

The Nature of Discrimination

Nature has a way of promoting diversity. What better way of promoting this diversity than by causing humans to have an innate xenophobia. Anyone with differently colored skin is Other, and thus should be treated with wariness. In the absence of interracial couplings, people can develop along their individual racial trajectories and maintain the separateness that persists to the modern day.

However, is this a true promotion of diversity? Suppose the genes that promote survival of some horrible future disease reside only within a particular race. Other "pure-blooded" peoples do not have access to this gene and die out as a result. What a waste of genetic diversity. It just does not seem to be practical.

A more logical view, perhaps, would be the residue of ancestral wariness. The same wariness that prevents cunning strangers from stealing or murdering on one's land. Given that this is not a universal trait, it is probably an offshoot of wariness bred of selfishness.

In my opinion, racism is merely the fear of the unknown taken too far. Everyone fears the unknown simply because it is uncertain. But given that humans are thinking creatures, they should be able to overcome this fear by the force of logic. It is unfortunate, therefore, that a good number of humans are either unaware of this innate fear or are unwilling to do anything about it.

Reproduction. What A Disadvantage.

Society deems fit to discriminate against half of the population. By common knowledge, half of the population is obviously feeble, fragile and essentially useless. Unfortunately, this feeble, week half (which is often a majority) is also responsible for incubating foetuses and bringing children up. What gives! Strangely enough, the non-incubatory humans feel that it is only right that since they are crippled enough to not be able to reproduce by themselves, they should view others with this ability as somehow disabled. I suppose humans would quit reproducing next, since it's obviously unnecessary.

Instead of viewing childbearing and child upbringing as a disadvantage of sorts (in economic terms), why not view it as an ability unique to approximately half of humans? After all, poorly brought up children tend to grow up to be unpleasant individuals. The population would dwindle without children surviving beyond childhood. How, then, can half of humanity possibly be the weaker half

Better? Than?

Better? What is better? Much of human endeavors are really driven by a pursuit of power. Indicating that the path one follows is "better" is but another way to gain power over others. Some things are believed in simply because they are "better". However, it becomes oppressive then one's perceptions of "better" are being imposed on others, possibly in an effort to override others beliefs.

Work is necessary. If there was no need for the work, no such work would be generated. However, some jobs are seen to be "better" than others, solely based on their earning powers. Something that has great economic value may in fact have low social value. Hence, what is good or not so good is merely defined by the needs and circumstances surrounding it. There is no objective definition of "better".

B&J

I was at the convenience store and found that Ben and Jerry's ice cream was on discount. Reduced price for two pints of the stuff. (Un)fortunately, the label for the discount said "Ben & Jelly's Ice Cream". I really laughed out loud there and then. Sometimes, I think even convenience store staff should make an effort to ensure that their items are correctly labelled. Saves a lot of trouble in the long run.

The Equinox, And My Sabbat

It is the Autumn Equinox now. For all of you who care...happy sabbat! Actually, I feel like a barbarian for not keeping in tune with the earthly cycles. I nearly totally forgot about the evenest day of the year due to my really packed week just before this. I merely declared this to be a personal sabbath due to the hard work. Guess my internal clock is also aware of the time of year and nagged at me to get celebratory.

Ok um I'm not really sure how I'm gona celebrate this. Given that I live in the city, there aren't that many green areas for me to go around and basically say hi to the world. And my parents probably wouldn't approve of some elaborate ritual. I'm not prepared for one anyway. Hmm. Guess I'll just sit pretty and be happy that the winter herald has sounded the horn.

Making Things Right

How can you make things right when you were born wrong? Some things by birth will not be corrected no matter how much medical science intervenes, even if things go perfectly well. No matter how much you compensate in life, things just aren't the same. It's a bit like being born disabled and having go move around on crutches of some sort. You may be good at what you do, yet will never be in the league of those who were born "normal".

Making Things Right

How can you make things right when you were born wrong? Some things by birth will not be corrected no matter how much medical science intervenes, even if things go perfectly well. No matter how much you compensate in life, things just aren't the same. It's a bit like being born disabled and having go move around on crutches of some sort. You may be good at what you do, yet will never be in the league of those who were born "normal".

Egg Jams Ahoy

Yes. It's that half-time of semester again. Mid-term tests and all that rot. Well, for me, it's just one mid term. But after last semester's mid-term fiasco, I'm fairly determined to get this one done right. It's terrible to make a mistake early in the semester that you can't recover from no matter how hard you work for the rest of the semester. Gambatte, Fenris! *pumps pom poms*

On The Train

I was thinking about how some people can let go so easily. A relationship breaks up and suddenly a girl has a new boyfriend. I mean, it's not as if I'm a part of it, but it really does seem awfully shallow. Kinda like tossing out tissue paper. I don't think I can ever understand how people can profess to want a long term relationship and suddenly cut it off as if it were a one night stand.

I heard something disturbing on the train. A woman was talking about how one of her ex's had just graduated and wasn't actively seeking a job. He was, apparently, playing computer games and basically bumming at home. She remarked that she was glad that she left him before that. It's terrible how career-obsessed some people can be. I mean c'mon...studying isn't exactly the most fun thing in the world (until you see the working world), but that doesn't mean that one is obliged to charge into the job market as soon as one graduates... Perhaps if one was strapped for cash, but I think people are entitled to slack off after their graduations, male or female. I guess it's probably less socially acceptable for guys to do it 'coz society expects them to be the breadwinners. Too bad =p

Machiavellianism!

People like to be deceived. White lies make lives easier. Sometimes, it can get so bad that when someone asks, "Do I look good in (insert outfit)?", they really expect you to say "Yes" or something positive. And that's even if they look so-so or even slightly bad in them. I guess they'd take it better if they looked downright awful in the outfit, but I somehow doubt that.

In fact, it has been found that people who know when to lie, and are able to conceal the fact that they're lying, get ahead in life better than those who can't! How about that. Gratuitous praise and pandering do help, and that's even when people are aware of it.

It's hardwired into the human psyche to appreciate praise, apparently.

The Devil Wears Prada!

*** Possible Spoilers Ahead****

I watched The Devil Wears Prada today. I really loved the show. On the surface, it appears to be portraying the fast-paced and uncaring world of a fashion magazine company. A world where people get stomped on, crawl over one another to achieve success and basically have little fun doing what they do.

In comes little Andrea. Girl next door, basically a fashion idiot. In fact, she should be the first that the boss Miranda would kick out. (Kinda reminds me of myself. Basically banking on personal skills and qualifications, knowing zip about fashion.) Anyway, she somehow manages to pull off the impossible requirements her boss piles upon her (Kinda like how Asok from Dilbert gets oushed about) and gains her boss' grudging favour. In fact, she manages to surpass and effectively usurp Emily's position as the favoured personal assistant to the boss. Towards the end of the story, the boss does some heavy duty politicking to maintain her position as chief editor of the fashion magazine Runway, and effectively pushing her competitor into a (more lucrative) position as an editor-in-chief of another magazine. She manages to deny Nigel (a fashion advisor) his long-awaited promotion due to this maneuver. Andrea finally realizes that she is not cut out for this cut-throat world, and effectively thumbs her nose at the boss when she finally walks out.

I like this story because it is about being true to oneself. What Andrea pulled off in a year was more than Nigel achieved in 18 years because she knew what she wanted. Nigel was basically biding his time and letting the boss make all the moves for him. Andrea did that at first because she felt that she "had no choice". She realized later on that she did indeed have a choice, and that she was making choices even though she felt forced into making them. That's a fact of life anywhere, I suppose.

Miranda first appears as an imposing figure, almost like a Margaret Thatcher. She is strong, nonchalant and highly successful. She knows her powers and wields them to their fullest extent. However, we are exposed to her weakness mid-story, when she shows some emotion and rather drab fashion sense after having a hard time with her divorce. She's been through numerous divorces, apparently, and all possibly job-related. I guess this vulnerability helped awaken Andrea to the reality of what her boss is really going through. It's definitely paved a way for her to relate to her boss. Miranda suddenly seems so much more human.

In truth, Andrea is a lot more like Miranda than she realizes. Though she was never the sort to really enjoy the cut-throat world in Runway, she knows what she wants as surely as Miranda knows what she wants. And she is willing to take steps to get that. She denies apparent success in something she does not enjoy, and even stays loyal to the guy she loves (yeah!). Granted, this may seem rather overly dramatic, but it is what I've always wanted out of my life. Andrea never wanted to let the company get to her head, and made efforts to break away once she realized that she was becoming like the Clackers.

I have a fear. That fear is losing my self. One invariably changes with the times. However, how can one be sure that one is not changing her true nature just to accomodate success, society or any number of factors that taint one's life. I do not wish to encounter a day when I look at myself, and don't know who I am anymore. Worse yet, I don't want to know that I can't go back to how I was because I do not remember.

Them Democracies

A democracy is difficult to manage. If we have to poll the population every time a decision is to be made, no timely decisions can be made. Hence, the "experts" are left to make the decisions on the behalf of the people who voted them. What, however, happens if the people decide that the elected governors are making decisions that are not in accordance to popular opinion? People like to leave things be when they can. If a decision is largely unpopular yet not intensely bad enough to forment dissent, then it will not be opposed. Thus the beginning of an inching towards control of the public the government was elected to serve. Out of fear of creating instability, the tenuous position of a government approaching authoritarianism is maintained by maintaining the status quo as far as possible. "Deviant" populations are not supported. Minorities are marginalized. And all this to satisfy the majority. Because of the reality of the difficulty of polling the public, the government feels free to guess at what the population really wants. If the people insist on remaining silent on everything from discrimination to wars, then there will be no end to the problem of "democratic" leadership. Democracy is a lofty goal that has never been truly extant.

Goodbye, Steve Irwin

What a way to start a day. I never expected Steve Irwin to go like this, really. A modern day Croc Dundee minus the bowie? I expected something like a serious crocodile mauling or perhaps a black widow spider at least. One in a billion. Guess that suits a guy like him anyway. Let's not go out the usual way, eh? I'll miss you, and all those wonderful shows and stuff. I still can't believe you're gone. Crikey!

Expensive Paper

Why is glossy photo paper so much more expensive than regular paper? Because the quality really shows! I had two printouts at the same max quality level that my printer can handle, and the one on "regular" paper was all washed out, and the one on gloss paper was a whole lot more vibrant. Looks like I'll be using that as an investment for my school projects. Print quality counts!

Modern life is built upon exploitation. If it isn't the unpaid labour of humans, it's the unpaid labour of machines. Machines work without pay, and the non-pay works out to cheaper goods and fat company accounts. Machines replace human labour, but the humans aren't getting paid for not working. Hence, we have the wonderful scenario where increasing numbers of humans are being gainlessly unemployed. Humans are inventing themselves out of work. Worse yet, they're inventing themselves out of their own incomes.

Our generation comes from a race of conquerors. One must dominate to be considered to be successful. Power becomes the measure against which humans are gauged. Interestingly, power is no longer by brute force alone, even though some persist in believing that military might will solve everything. Perhaps it is time that humanity realized that its two halves are really equal, and should use their natural expertise to the fullest extent possible.

People And Insecurities

Insecurities are mostly illogical. One can be otherwise whole yet harbour fears that debilitate. We constantly worry about whether our boobs are large enough, dongs dangly enough, waist small enough, skin young enough, and all manner of unusual dysmorphic perceptions of our bodies. Society is a bad influence on people! In its quest to portray and promote the image of the perfect person, regular, imperfect people are being driven into the ground by self-esteem issues. It is time that people accepted that some imperfections are perfectly normal, and that it is not necessary that women stay young all through their lives, and that men stay fit and strong through theirs. I'd say that it is better to have small boobs and be cancer-free, for example.

Charger, Camera, Action!

I just bought an expensive battery charger for myself. It's the Sony 2700mAh NiMH battery charger. Well, it's really because I bought a digicam a couple days back. So far, the charger seems to be doing its work properly.

Products like these prove that looks do sell. I bought this because it is the only available charger in my area that handles 2700mAh batteries, has a graphical progress meter (big plus) and looks great (the deal clincher). Moreover, it's able to charge AA or AAA batteries in any combination.

I'm currently experimenting with charging batteries of different brands in the same charger. Sure, the user manual says that's a no-no, but I think physics will overrule sales gimmicks. I note that the batteries are charging as per normal and are not heating up more than they should. That's a good sign. The charger isn't malfunctioning either.

Product descriptions are deceptive! For one, most products have highly optimistic specifications on their product descriptions. They're technically true even though they usually don't work out on paper. People still buy these things because most don't bother to do their own information hunts, which may turn up information planted by people hired by the company concerned anyway.

Living On Borrowed Cultures

The world has a culture. Every culture extant in the world contributes towards this collective culture. One should avoid shunning every other culture just because one believes that one hails from a particular culture. To do so is limiting and often leads to negative discrimination. It is often this obsession with history that causes bigotry and cultural snobbery. If one has the discipline to do so, one should learn to take the best (according to one's gauge) out of every culture encountered and thus improve the culture one is in. Otherwise, the culture would stagnate within the confines it sets for itself and would have a hard time growing.

Adopting aspects of other cultures does not denote losing one's heritage. On the contrary, it adds to one's heritage, for this enables future generations to have more under them than merely what they, as a race, started off with.

One's self identification should not come from the mere sense of belonging to a "community". Chances are that this said "community" would constitute but a fraction of what the world has to offer. It is sad that one can feel lost, uprooted or aimless merely because one does not anchor oneself in the culture of one's ancestors. This is especially true given that the real "culture" in the world is world culture. The problem is that many people have a hard time perceiving this, and choose instead to segregate themselves into cultural cliques, attempting to preserve their cultural "heritage". While easy to maintain, this siege mentality can only lead to the establishment of an "us" and "them", possibly with an unhealthy focus on excluding the "other".

New Hairdo, Camera

I went to the hairdresser's and got myself a butch hairdo today. The weather is really too warm for anything else. Moreover, that hair trim was kinda necessary for other reasons. The hairdresser was really skilled when it came to getting the hair done properly, though.

Went shopping all afternoon just to get the digicam that I figured I could live with. It's harder than it seems, really. The first cam I saw in my (really tight budget) price range was this Panasonic Lumix LS2. I had this strange gut feeling that it was affordable, but not quite the best I could get at that price. I went along to another shopping center full of shops selling digital stuff. As I was browsing the wares of one shop, a particular acrylic signboard of a particular brand of camera came crashing down. Bad sign. I moved on and finally settled on the Lumix LZ3. I know it isn't the best, but at the price range, it's hard to find something that has a stabilizer, 6x zoom and 5 megapixel specs all in a single package.

A New Language

Communicating with humans is like speaking an alien language. Apparently, it isn't sufficient to merely say what one means. One needs to present that information in some pleasant-sounding phrasing, preferably with appropriate body language where applicable. So it is obviously necessary to include all sorts of verbal sugar coating and non-verbal cues to put a single fact across. It would appear that humans are incapable of logically extracting the facts out of the statement without trying to infer whether there's some ulterior motive, some ill will or whatever. Strange creatures, humans.

Knowledge And Wisdom

The trick to dealing with less enlightened mortals is to share just enough wisdom to quit amazing them and begin confusing them. Only then can they begin to consider things beyond what they think they know.

After living through enough incarnations, you quit losing knowledge, though no wisdom is lost. Strange as it may seem, the wisdom can and does carry over. Hard to quantify, wisdom, but it does lend clarity to thought where logical intellectual thinking doesn't always work out. Guess losing memories in the form of lost knowledge isn't entirely bad, since knowledge tends to burden more than it enlightens. After all, what one thinks one knows may restrict what one thinks one can do.

Shoes, Shoes

I can't believe it. After assuming that I had the correct shoe size all this while, I find myself wearing shoes a full size smaller than I had some years back. While I don't think I've actually shrunk, this is a strange implication that I may have been wearing oversized shoes all this while. I always thought the rule of thumb (or index finger) was that one should have a finger's clearance after putting on the shoe. It didn't really occur to me that that was really for when one wasn't wearing thick socks. Seriously whoa. Looks like I can wear smaller shoes after all. Well, that, or I've actually shrunk.

The Simpsonnnsss

I know I'm backdated. There. I've said it. But I've finally watched the first 15 seasons of The Simpsons. Quite a marathon. Unfortunately, it also means that I'll be mighty sad when I get to the end of the series and all that. It's like those times when friends don't talk to you as much once they have partners. Well that, or pardners, if you live on a mountain.

Aye aye. Pendants and no necklaces to go with them. I really can't stand silver, so I'll go for leather and/or other kinds of cord. Tribal, I do be.

Well anyway, I'm still a bit peeved that a certain storm arrived slightly off schedule. Oh why oh why did it not drench those people caught out there in the open. I suppose the skies are more forgiving than I am.

Pink Pearl, Black Rose

I went shopping today and bought myself a black rose pendant. I liked the pendant since some time back, and it was out of stock shortly after I went back again a couple days later. Note to Fenris: First rule of shopping! Anyway, this voucher came with the pendant. One free pearl! Well, like I got in line to claim this pearl, and it turns out that the pearl was to be freshly shucked from an oyster. Horror of horrors, a little creature perished to give me this pretty little pink pearl. The lady before me got a black pearl. Oh Jack Sparrow, how I have failed thee.

Too Much Of A Good Thing

I have been following Desperate Housewives for some seasons now, and I am increasingly feeling the TooMuchOfAGoodThing Syndrome. At first, the scandals and all were well and good. There's no place that doesn't have its share of secrets, even if they're dark ones. However, it becomes absurd when it's clear that almost everyone in the neighbourhood has some real deep, dark secret, and just about everyone involved seems to have some sort of violent and/or murderous solution to their problems. I mean seriously...how many murders can one expect in a community this small! Moreover, the solutions to some problems are plain overkill (pun intended). I think the producers are trying to stuff as many good ideas in to keep the show feeling fresh. Unfortunately, they're only succeeding in making the show increasingly absurd. I guess there's no real way to keep such a series going for long. Not unless you have great minds working on the scripts.

A Cracked Skull

There are some things in the universe that science is currently unable to disprove. People should avoid blinding themselves to the possibilities extant in this reality. Paranormal activities cannot be said to not exist merely because science is unable to find a way to detect their existence. They can be said to not exist only when science can prove without reasonable doubt their actual impossibility. If scientific attention were to be diverted entirely from "superstition", it becomes highly unlikely that such things are actually debunked by good scientific methods. It becomes such that they are assumed to be bunk merely because scientists assume so. Quite a good excuse for running away from a possible truth.

I was enroute home from grocery shopping when I saw an ambulance pull over just ahead. When paramedics came out and pulled on their rubber gloves, mom assumed that something was amiss. It turns out that an old man fell from the stairs some time back and he was lying in a pool of his own clotting blood. I could tell that he was still alive by the color of the body. Nonetheless, old blood is never tempting. Heh. As usual, mom went in for a closer look. I figured I'd just leave him to the paramedics.

Escort Duties

Woke up at 5.30am to escort dad to his medical checkup. That was the idea anyway. Turns out that he didn't want any of it, so I wound up at home wondering at what I should be doing that early in the morning. After a bit of chatting online, dad called back and asked me to go down to the hospital 'coz they may be using anaesthesia. Heh. Well anyway, I went down and waited till the procedure was done (with only local anaesthesia) and escorted him back. It would've probably been easier had I just followed him in the first place. Anyway, the tests turned out ok, so there's no real problem.

Therapy To The Masses

The tyranny of the masses is a strange phenomenon. Truth can be skewed by large numbers of misinformed people believing incorrect things. "Facts" can be blindly followed even though nobody really made an effort to verify them. Worst of all, some people like to believe that their beliefs engender the One Truth. Sometimes, it may be possible that the masses need re-education, not the oppressed minorities. Regular, otherwise potentially socially healthy people are being driven to the fringes on account of their differences. Gone are the days when being left-handed was a dreadful thing, yet negative discrimination still exists amongst the bearers of the "negative" attributes. How strange that some "legal adults" come of age at 18 in some places when they are taken to be adults only at 21 years of age in other places. To be sure, if societies cannot agree on the legal definition of such a simple matter, how can they be so sure that their individually held beliefs are truly appropriate?

A Voice From The Shadows

Sometimes, there are things around that one cannot see. How strangely limiting it is, even when one has eyes. They serve mainly to get people around without stumbling into holes. Anyway, feeling a spot of craving again. That's probably not a good thing, but I have decent self control.

Just a side note to self: Heard a loud explosive sound in the neighbourhood just now. Given that it sounded high up and I don't hear sirens, I figure it isn't anything really major. Perhaps someone's gas tank blew up. In the middle of the night. Whoopee.

Just Say No?

The authorities say that drugs are bad. Drugs do people in, break up families, liquefy minds and have all sorts of horrible side effects including withdrawal symptoms. All this would be well and good were it not so that mind-altering drugs are actively being administered in response to certain exceptional psychiatric cases. It would appear that psychotropic drugs are issued only to keep people docile and within the norms of consciousness (at a superficial level at least). As such, it seems to be the case that hallucinogenic drugs are controlled not just because of potential permanent damage (which may not be the case for all drugs within the classification) but in the interests of "law and order" whereby people keep their consciousness fully rooted in "reality".

It is strange that such drugs are not being administered under close medical supervision to give people the chance to experience such alteration of consciousness or at least to understand their effects at a scientific level. Alcohol may have similar effects on the consciousness by nature of its action, yet is not strictly controlled despite being associated with numerous deaths and injuries. It is probably better that takers of hallucinogenic drugs come under the purview of medical professionals rather than self-dosing on illegal products of dubious potency and getting harmed and/or harming others in the process.

The issue at hand appears to be a fear of the "insanity" (altered perceptions) experienced under influence than any real fear of bodily harm. Carcinogens are being actively studied even though known carcinogenic foods are being purveyed and consumed. Hence, it may be better that hallucinogenic drugs be studied rather than banned, giving people the potential of vacations from reality with minimal risks.

The Flexibility Of Experience

Today is the day that I can declare that I've actually taken up the Full Lotus position. Frankly, I never thought I could do it, since I've been trying for some time. It turns out that I was trying it the other way around (which is physically impossible) . Strangely enough, its difficulty isn't anywhere near as high as I'd expected of an "advanced" position. Guess it's just hard for some people. My friend can't do it, for one. Next on the target list: Splits

My Wristband

I finally found it: The leather wristband. Its strap is as wide as that of my wristwatch. It would appear that I finally have a matching pair to wear on my wrists. heh. Today's shopping trip was fruitful. It would seem that it is far better to have dad walk all over the place while mom and I shop than to have him follow us around and cast disapproving looks whenever any sort of money is slated to leave his wallet. Ah hah! Oh, and I got myself a pair of decent jeans at last.

I'm probably mildly allergic to what they call "silver", and the breaker tripped at the apparel store shortly after I went in. How inconvenient.

Just Let Go

How can one let go of reality when one has dwelt in it for countless millennia? If one has all those memories all at once, would it make any difference? Just beyond the veil lies the receptacle of the facts of the past, present and future. Yet is any of it significant, really, or does knowledge merely entrap? One can be free in oblivion, but is it a worthy pursuit? Everything is meaningless. One could learn to just let go. Is there any more meaning in oblivion?

Back From The North

Back I do be, from that vacation up north. Yes, it's a break from computers as well, so I've taken to penning the memories down, and not putting them up. So no info! Suffice to know that I saw a guy who has eyes just like Mark Hamil's. You know, the guy who acted as Luke Skywalker in the early Starwars films. Quite a sight =p

I note that consuming obscene amounts of fiber in the morning (e.g breakfast) does wonders for when you're having constipation-related problems and similar complications. It makes the morning visit a lot less painful if you let the stools pass with a soft "warhead". Fiber is not only good for digestion! It prevents unnecessary blood loss! As if losing blood every month weren't enough.

Blood and Clots

My friend was hospitalized for breathing difficulties. Turns out that she had clotting trouble that resulted in some sort of blockage in the lungs. It's a bit of a relief that the clots didn't form somewhere like in her brain or something. I really hate to see people with brain damage. Anyway, it turns out that I'm seeing another medical professional in the exact same hospital. Guess I'll visit again when my appointment is up (if she's still there)

Of Nothingness and Becoming

When one attains the highest possible level of enlightenment, one extinguishes all self and effectively becomes nothing in relation to a state of becoming. What happens, then? Does one stagnate within this blissful state free of the cycle of life and death, or does one become the inadvertent victim of becoming? When one has surrendered all will and self, one is no more. That also implies that one is no longer immune to the spontaneous expression or imposition of the self. Is there a backwards link between nothingness, and existence, where nothingness "evolves" to existence, starting again at the most rudimentary of existences that is the closest to nothingness and no-self? If so, then there may well be a stage beyond Nirvana, even though one will invariably be essentially different once one re-emerges as a new existence. The old self was surrendered and is no more, but nothing guarantees that a new and completely different rudimentary self cannot arise from the nothingness of the old self.

Moozique Recovery

My harddisk crashed some time back. Oh yes it did. But unfortunately, it took my music library with it. Yes it did, too. So what did I do? I checked my laptop, which had a nearly identical music library to the one on my desktop. Yes I did. So yeah, I spent a good amount of time just reorganizing all my music lists and whatnot, tossing out all the bad tracks. And now my music library is back, more elegant than it originally was. Yes it is. Unfortunately, it is short of a few of the newer albums, which I'll have to obtain again. Yes I will. I am proud to announce, however, that my music library is now back online! It is now!

Keeping The Balance

Why must girls like pink, and boys wear blue? Why must boys like soccer and football whilst girls enjoy romantic drama? This unnatural schism between the sex does little more than segregate the two main divisions of humanity into two neat groups. Such organization does little than facilitate groupings of primary modes of expected conduct within a society. Would society collapse in the absence of such rigid guidelines? Affirmations of such roles are met with approval, whilst any significant deviation is often criticized or even punished. Fluidity in definition need not be the root of destructive chaos. It is unnatural for life in all its variations to be subjected to rigid compartmentalization. There must be some degree of fluidity to enable some deviation from norms. Otherwise, dissatisfaction and associated unhappiness will be the likeliest result.

Must a presumably omnipotent deity be presented exclusively in a male form? Can there be balance between the masculine and feminine in divinity? One cannot hope to contain omnipotence just as one will find difficulty describing nothingness. To thus limit the greater Powers can amount to no less than blasphemy in claiming limitations to omnipotential power. In the grand scheme of things, only balance is the acceptable endpoint. If there can ever be a point of perfection, it can only be perfect balance. Anything else would cause an ever-shifting tendency towards a direction that can only lead to an ultimately lopsided universe. In seeking the triumph of one side, one is directly demanding the demise of its natural opposite.

Smash-resistant Glass

I never believed that it existed. If it sounds like glass, looks like glass, it probably shatters like glass, right? Incorrect, apparently. After visiting a long-abandoned theme park, we came across this display case with half-broken glass. Now, my guy friend, being destuctive, decided that he wanted to try his hand at breaking glass. Silly as that may sound, he took a solid swing at it with a broken billiard cue and all he got for it was sore hands. He threw a chair with heavy metal legs at it, and the chair just bounced off. Now that's really tough glass. It didn't even crack, though part of it was broken by some hooligan. So if you ever visit an abandoned theme park and find some pane of glass to be largely unbroken, you can rest assured that it's some sort of security glass. I took a swing at it with the cue, and it promptly broke, though. Guess it just takes a certain kind of force to damage that sort of thing. I'm officially a hooligan! Well, anyway, I call it smash resistant 'coz it took quite a beating before breaking. My glass panes cracked in my windows without my having to do anything at all! I want that smash-resistant glass on my windows! =p

The Great Disconnection

It was horrible! MyISP gave me a major scare when all of my internet connections started failing. Browsers refused to work, hell, even chat programs disconnected themselves and refused to reconnect. Worst of all, my router reported that everything was A-OK. Went around my other computers and found that they had the same problem. I was beginning to worry that the router decided to have an unscheduled break when I thought to fire up all my chat programs and set them on reconnect. It turned out that the ISP was (probably) conducting some maintenance out of the scheduled maintenance time slot. The disruption was 2 hours in advance of the scheduled maintenance time. Scary. Especially when my computer hardware has a knack for conking out at the most inconvenient times and in a rather abrupt manner.

The Freedom to Communicate

I can't stand my dad. Yeah. He's the sort that believes that stability is everything. Yes, to the extent that dictatorships are largely acceptable as long as they aren't actively destroying the country. I don't know what sort of indoctrination got to his head, or whether he truly believes such things, but it's terrible. He's so much in favour of state control that there is no limit to which a government can control the population, so long as it promotes stability. That includes organized protests in the face of corrupt policies. If other people think in this manner, overtly or covertly, I can understand how Hitler came to power so easily by mere force of words and some political maneuverings. And I also understand why dad runs the family the way he does.

Unchanging History

Humans hate change. And if any sort of "organization" actually likes change, it is probably young and unestablished. Why must a historical religion be "purer" than its modern form, for example? Perhaps it came from a time when change was necessarily a bad thing. A comfortable routine of having 3 square meals was a good thing. Suddenly having 5 meals a day and starving for the next 3 would probably be undesirable. Over time, humans became more and more comfortable with the idea of stagnation in stability. Perhaps that is why religions never wish to change with time, and why some remarkably illogical things are still being clung to.

A Maxtor Note

I just checked and realized that all 3 of my harddisks that experienced sudden deaths were Maxtors. Perhaps Maxtor fares poorly in my sorta environment. Anyway, note to self: If a harddisk starts making revving sounds like a muscle car, get it checked for a warranty claim. All 3 of my dead harddisks made that kinda sound a couple months before they conked out.

The Saga Begins!

The Saga Begins, by Weird Al Yankee =p I absopositively love it. I'd recommend this spoof to whomever is able to "get" the references. Just something to brighten up my day...and yours, whoever you may be. Oh my. How can one resist the Starwars Episode 1 tale related in tune to American Pie. heh.

Silent Hill

You've played the game. Now watch the movie! You know you wana. Actually, I know I wana. Hmm yes. The movie had every bit of the suspense in the games, and has a sort of side story going so that the audience is more aware of what's going on. I guess it cannot be exactly like a walkthrough of a Silent Hill game where nobody really knows what's going on and just winds up getting scared all the time, and highly confused. That's probably bad for a movie. Anyway, it's nice that the producers collaborated with Konami on this piece. It really brings out the spirit of the Silent Hill series. (Why was the show censored? I paid good money to watch a good movie at the cinema! You do NOT censor shows I PAY money to watch!)

As for the story, it's about a mom with a highly disturbed daughter. The daughter sleepwalks and keeps mentioning a place known as...you guessed it...Silent Hill. After a bit of research, the mom drives the daughter to the place, sees something spooky and crashes the car. This time, there's a cop who follows. Well, Silent Hill is a ghost town. Exactly the sort of ghost town that's full of the horrors of the past. Not to spoil anything, suffice to know that I loved the ending.

For some reason, Silent Hill is a place where virtually nothing ever works, zombies appear for no apparent reason, and you always have a working torch, a melee weapon of some sort, and a projectile weapon which is often a gun. There's always a torch and melee weapon early in the game! And likewise, there's a melee weapon and torch towards the middle of the show. Don't forget your radio! The one that makes weird noises when zombies are nearby. I think they didn't emphasize that part enough. But for once, you kinda understand why the zombies just look like bags of meat. In this version of the story, Silent Hill was a town gutted in a fire. A witch-burning fire of all things. But all in all, I loved the pace of the story. They actually had a sort of narrative going, instead of having everything come in via whispered conversation and flashbacks. If ya ask me! Watch tha movie! I shan't say more =p

Ah yes. I notice that other girls never admit to being gamers, even if they play video games.

I went for a seafood buffet after the show. The food was so-so, so I wound up massacring their flower crab dish. Couldn't figure out what else to eat anyway. Felt kinda bad when people opened the case and found all the crabs gone. NOT.

Those ABsurd Slimming Devices

Why do we have slim people promoting slimming devices! I know they were originally slim because I have seen pictures of them before the products even hit the market. Frankly, I wonder at the ability of what seems to be a massive vibrator in reducing body fat. The average person who consumes more calories than she expends is probably going to grow fat regardless whether they have a large vibrator shaking their midsection up. Besides, I doubt those slim people actually got their figures through gadgets alone. There's usually a lot of exercisse and dieting involved. Perhaps it is time that we had regular fat people endorsing the product, and showing how much they can gobble down pizza and still lose inches exclusively by the amazing power of slimming devices.

Outlaw Star!

I've finally gotten down to watching Outlaw Star. (Yes, the anime I had sitting on my harddisk for at least 3 years) It just seems so much like a simplified version of Cowboy Bebop. Moreover, the appropriate mood music and dramatic irony are really good at bringing the story to life, pretty much the way Cowboy Bebop did. Besides, the mix of characters is pretty similar, too. How can one not see Spike in Gene! Still, Spike's cooler. So there.

Bad Oysters!

Drat. Who would have thought... Anyway, I probably had a bad oyster in my oyster omelette yesterday. Drove my gut positively nuts. Woke at 4am just to spew liquid food that looked like it wasn't even digested. Yes...out the behind. It didn't even start to smell bad yet. Geez. I think it totally bypassed the lockdown in the gut and just went clean through me. And where it has passed, I shall turn my mind's eye. There will be nothing. Only clean gut will remain.

Routing Through The Wired

I got a router! A new Linksys so that my home systems are now all wired up. Had me in a bit of a pickle when I couldn't configure it, so I called the ISP. Now every computer in the house potentially has internet and LAN connectivity! However...hmm. It appears that the hall computer has decided to develop a RAM problem...again.


Disturbing note: I saw an oldish woman walking around in a t-shirt with the words "Juicy Bunny" sequined across the front. I...don't know what to say...

Thank Ye...For Now

Ok. Got a call from Maxtor. They had a harddisk replacement for me, and it's a 320 gig monster. That's 70 gigs above and beyond my 250 gig monster. That's pretty sweet...assuming that it actually stays reliable for a year or two at least. Um yeah. But I *am* pleased at the swift service and upgrade without demand. Yeah. heh.

Disturbing Omens

I was at a family dinner and repeatedly saw what I thought were omens pointing to my great aunt's death. She just turned 90 and it was her birthday dinner, after all. Just as a personal note, I saw spilled red wine. There were 4 sisters present, herself included. The shawl they placed around her shoulders resembled a death cowl. And she led the exit the way she would were she at the head of a funeral procession. Disturbing? Maybe. Only time will tell.

An interesting side note: Sticky pasty stuff should NEVER be brown or brownish. That's wrong on so many levels that it grosses me out at the very thought. Oh. There was one such dish served at the dinner. It tasted good, but the aesthetics were just...wrong.

Note to Fenris: Nail polish is dissolved by surgical spirit

Drat You Again!

I just noticed that the other harddisk that had Sudden Death (tm) on me was a Maxtor as well. I kept the carcass in a box as a reminder. Much good that did. Pfft. So now I have 2 sudden death Maxtors. Gee. I wonder if it was a coincidence. Pity that I believe in causality. Problem being that I will not dare to put anything important in that replacement harddisk. Now...erm...WHAT! It's 250 gigs!

I was at a park with my friend and walked along this pavement. I met this dog walking the woman, and the dog actually looked at me. However, it not only met my gaze, but chose to relieve itself in a rather fluid fashion right before my eyes. Seriously, I can't tell if I ought to be offended or amused. Perhaps a mix of both?

Drat You, Maxtor!

Yes. My esteemed Maxtor SATAII 250gb has decided to disappear from the face of my Windows Explorer, and refuses to be activated via Disk Management. In fact, nothing seems to want to touch it at all. The horribly inadquate thing... Well anyway, I hope the Maxtor guys provide me with some kind of a solution that doesn't involve formatting and stuff like that.

The Broken Mug

Dad broke my mug today. An unfortunate incident, but one that cannot be undone. But we have spares, so it won't affect my drinking pleasure.

If there's only one truth in life and the afterlife, it matters not where you stand. Any deed done and undone will only lead you towards that one truth. However, if there is a multiplicity of realities, the deeds will determine one's path. People like to simplify things, to limit the chaotic complex aspects of reality to the orderly, limited scope of human understanding. But like a broken mug, the understanding can be shattered. Will there be a struggle to try to reform that understanding in the old ways and forms which it maintained, or will there be an attempt to start anew?

Boiling Pearls

Bubble tea is remarkably difficult to prepare. For one, I never seem to get that syrup-tea mix up to the optimal levels. Moreover, every time I boil the tapioca balls, weird things happen when I store 'em. They clumped in the bowl despite my soaking them in water first. Worse yet, they became hard on the inside instead of chewy like they were when freshly boiled. I suspect it's something to do with keeping them in the fridge instead of leaving them in the open. More experiments!

Lament of a Neo-Nazi

Doctor: I'm sorry, sir, but I've already done the measurements.
Father:That's impossible!
Doctor:It's true. I've measured your child's nose. He's most assuredly jewish.
Father:But we're both pure of blood! There was no jewish parent.
Doctor:I'm pretty sure you believe that, but the proof is right here. I'm sorry, sir, but you have jewish blood.
Father:...
Doctor:It invariably runs in the paternal bloodline.
Father:Is there nothing we can do?
Doctor:Well, not for your child, but you can blame the jews.

How absurd can humans get.

Standing Alone

One must gain the strength to stand alone. One cannot possibly have another to form a whole, for that would make the person a half-person. The objective in life should be to gain wholeness in oneself, and to help one's partner achieve that exact same wholeness. It is lazy for one to merely find another to lean upon and thus cease in one's development of one's Potential Self. Instead of two halves making a whole, why not have two wholes making a perfect pair, with each able to stand by oneself if and when necessary? It is true that no one person is an island, but that is no excuse for one to forsake the ability to go it solo when the time comes.

In The Beginning

In the beginning, there was nothing, and the universe was exceedingly boring. And then it got so bored that it emitted a huge flash of light in order to ask for help. As a result of that flash of light, lots of dirt started forming out of apparently nowhere. The dirt felt lonely and started clumping together. Some dirt clumped so close together that it began emitting light entirely of its own accord. Some tiny dirt particles clumped together and formed sloshy dirt. And some dirt formed nearly perfectly spherical structures that were all hot and nasty and bothered.

After some time, dirt clustered in the sloshy dirt to form small squishy things. The small squishy things gathered to form larger squishy things. The larger squishy things started making tougher outer layers of more dirt in order to avoid being damaged by other squishy things.

This went on until the not-so-squishy things discovered that it was crowded in the sloshy dirt, and that there was actually solid dirt beyond the sloshy dirt. The not-so-squishy things that were able to survive then decided to go visit the solid dirt, and some found it to be good.

Later on, the not-so-squishy things became more solid from their diet of solid dirt and minimal sloshy dirt. They got bigger and bigger, and less and less squishy, though they remained squishy on the inside. Some became so hard on the outside that they became scaly things, and some had softer outside and became furry things. Some just stayed and vegetated and became tall and not-so-tall leafy and scaly things.

Unfortunately, something happened that was scaly thing-unfriendly and most of the larger scaly things died out except those in the sloshy dirt. The world became furrier and furrier. But some furry things started flying. It was all rather complicated. The flying things started staying in the leafy and scaly things. And the furry things that didn't hide in the dirt also took to playing in the leafy and scaly things, much to the flying things' chagrin.

As usual, more and more aberrations turned up in the bizarre universe and some furry things started growing up without fur. They were laughed at so hard that they set themselves aside from the rest of the dirt and started doing their own thing. Since they were furless, they figured that they may as well rule over all the dirt since nobody else seemed inclined to.

The rest of it happened in a comparatively short period of time, and is highly documented. Much of what is recorded appears highly unusual and egotistical. The gist of it was the furless things started gathering in ever larger groups and finding ways to do things together, disgusting as it may seem.

To this day, the dirt remains infested with furless things that build tall and hard things and throw all sorts of junk all over the place because they're too lazy to clean up after themselves. They also believe that the dirt will never build up enough to cause weird problems. Oh, and they are also convinced that everything began from nothing, and then there was a flash of light.

As a side note: The MacBook!

Harmony and Domination

Do you understand harmony? Or is the concept of power merely for the sake of acheiving domination? I spoke with the trees today, and they were unhappy at the state of events. In communion they shared how they felt and what life was like for one of their kind. The power of sunshine and the blood of the earth. The laws of nature are not inviolate, but are meant to be upheld. In trying to force changes upon the world, far-reaching consequences will result. Mankind stands upon the earth, not apart from it. Unless humans find ways to leave this place, they will forever be bound by the laws and requirements of this existence. It is far better to harmonize than to dominate the natural world. One cannot hope to command unwilling forces far greater than oneself.

Are You Blind?

If you don't see anything wrong, how do you know whether everything's alright or whether you're blind? There's a tendency to attempt to reinforce one's beliefs about something rather than to refute them. Just because a system is believed to work doesn't mean that there isn't anything wrong with it. There is a chance that people have become so used to the existence of the system and its flaws that they dare not and have no wish to change it. Hiding in plain sight is a very real phenomenon. No system is perfect, and people should learn to accept that change is an inevitable reality of evolution. After all, unless a system's perfect, there is nothing to ensure that it will most certainly take a turn for the worse once there is change involved.

Note: Apple cheese sausages don't taste particularly good.

Flooring

The terrazzo flooring in my apartment is just perfect for seeking out all sorts of obscure and occasionally strange images. I've seen witches, wolves and dog faces in it when I'm idly staring at it. I wonder how people ever put up with plain monotone flooring. Wouldn't trade my floor for other stuff.

A note: A people being ancient does not automagically denote the wisdom that they hold. Just because a people survived from long ago to the present age merely implies that they have much history and have yet to do something that causes them to be wiped out. Moreover, the "wisdom" of the ancients is overemphasized. The ancients have done many bad things to their environment much as modern man has, just as they had strange and wonderous innovations that impress the people of today. As such, people should be vigilant and do their best to maintain that which is beneficial, and make an effort to be aware of the impact they have on the world.

Peanut Butter

We're in dire straits. I checked the kitchen today and found that I have a jar of peanut butter and no bread at all! Well, not quite so dire if dad would actually eat that peanut butter. He's always demolishing the bread at an incredible rate and leaving the peanut butter behind. It's a bit like the Rapture where the bread gets taken up and the peanut butter gets left behind. What a poor, lonely jar. I wonder if it's normal for one to have to go to get bread just to go with the peanut butter. Hmm.

Compound Interests

Behold! The 8th wonder of the world: Compound interest. At a rate of 1%, 100 units would become around 270 units within 100 interest cycles. The same applies to the small changes that one may make in society as an individual. Though one may never see the changes in one lifetime, or even in two lifetimes, the effects of legions of individuals doing the same would eventually have an impact of sorts. However, one may be tempted to leave such actions and sacrifices to the next generation, and so on. This mindset is practical though rather selfish. In the absence of progress, the future generations will be forced to start things off pretty much the same way the previous generations did. Compounding the efforts of interested people will go a long way towards helping society change at a healthy rate. Sacrifices must be made.

Getting Things Together

What does one do when everything seems to be falling into place? I have been praying for this break in life, and I finally have it within my grasp. However, everything just seems too neat. Information, funds, positions all seem to be there, but sometimes things just seem too good to be true. Blind as I am to the possibilities in the far future, is this truly what I want? Yes. Is this truly what I need? Yes. Is it all possible? Entirely so. So why am I hesitating? Am I too used to adversity that even innocent breaks suddenly appear to be dangerous? Or is this just another honeyed trap? My gut tells me no. My mind tells me yes. Or was it the other way around? Logic and experience tell me that things simply do not turn out precisely right, in accordance to what you've been wishing for. Yet a part of me feels ungrateful for praying for all this, being given it and then questioning its wholesomeness. Still, everything comes at a price. Is it too great a price to pay to just let this chance go? The world was prayed for, and given to me. Now I ask if I should rule the world.

The Simpsons

I know it's a tad old, but I managed to obtain Simpsons season 1-15 on DVD! Having fun with the Simpsons marathon, though I would probably be happier with the Peanuts gang. Unfortunately, the DVD set is a tad pricey at the moment, so I guess I'll be waiting for a bit.

It's a little difficult to juggle a social life, outings, watching shows on the comp and gaming. The problem with gaming is that it's remarkably fun at times, but puts a serious crimp on one's social life. In fact, it appears to be the most inefficient of entertainments since you can't really do anything else when gaming. But there's a storyline to be discovered, and that's very much like reading a book. Drat. Oh, which reminds me. Reading is seriously good especially if you're on the go! Getting places and gaining knowledge at the same time. What a deal! Shopping is an outing in addition to being a social event. Watching shows on the comp can be juggled with chatting. But playing games? Pfft. No wonder I forget to play sometimes. But it's fun when I'm really at it.

Interesting note: I dropped a mirror and it didn't break. The glass fell from the holder, but the mirror itself didn't break. Is that lucky, or did I meet my quota of 7 years of bad lucks. Hmm

Tidiness

There are several challenge ratings for bedroom mess. There are the simple low-density messes that probably involve moving a large box out of the way, thereby clearing a large area in a single move. There are also the medium difficulty messes that are like books that require some care in moving, and yet clear only a moderate amount of neat space. Finally, we have the terrible little thingummies that are really small and require proper arrangement or stuffing into suitably small carriers. Those clear only a miniscule area for the huge amount of effort taken. Worst of all, stuffing them all into a carrying pouch isn't exactly the best solution as they tend to get mingled and entangled. Examples include pens and nail files. Thank goodness most of the mess in my room comprises of the first sort of stuff. Actually, it's just opened boxes of computer stuff. It makes the place look horribly messy, yet can be cleaned up in a jiffy. Now, just when I finally get down to things...erm...sooner or later.

Privacy and Progress

The price of swift progress is the ultimate sacrifice of privacy. If every company had full access to a consumer's full demographics, likes and dislikes, the companies will be able to find ways to fulfill the needs of the consumers. Moreover, if no company were to be able to keep its production processes and designs secret, every company would be able to access and find ways to improve upon the products. In theory, this will enable the world to approach a perfect model of information flows and enable progress at a swifter rate. However, given technologies and human selfishness, this is highly unlikely. There are inherent inefficiencies in all communications technologies and humans are unlikely to want to release their "secret formulae" to the world. The free access of information may seem to negate the incentive to invent. This is untrue as everyone will have the ability to improve upon any shortcoming they may encounter. A company that implements the new product will become a feasibility testing lab and help determine whether the item will remain in production. Consumers with access to the information may also potentially seek out and better understand the items they are purchasing. In reality, though, most consumers would rather be told what they're buying, and companies would prefer to keep their lucrative new strategies to themselves. Such is the way of the world.

Wasting Time

Time cannot be saved, neither can it be wasted. Time can only be spent at its own pace. So what happens when one has, by one's own definition, been forced to waste years of one's own time? The time does not disappear. Experiences are gained every moment one spends living life in awareness of time's passage. So, for one who knows whose time was wasted, time was not truly wasted for one was already aware of that state of affairs. However, much time is wasted in unaccounted-for moments. That is unforgivable, for one lives life for the sake of existing, rather than the sake of living. One has not truly lived, who floats through life as if in a daze, hoping that things will work out. Only memories exist to prove that time has passed. And memories that are written can never be forgotten, only lost in the world or erased.

PSU

I'm a walking hi-tech disaster area. =p Sent my power supply unit (PSU) in for servicing 'coz of a noisy fan. The guy there just swapped me a brand new PSU instead. He's sweet. But seriously, I think that's adequate, given that the fan started giving trouble a mere 2 months after I purchased it. I think it's nice that I can assume that this unit won't give me trouble for another 2 months at least. *stare stare* I think the repair guy didn't really notice that I handed him an invoice for another item. *casual whistling* Illicit procurement specialist, at your service.