Melancholia

It's interesting how certain stimuli can trigger a bout of melancholia. For me, the recently remembered trigger was wet weather at night. Typically, rain in the daytime makes me feel really good, not least because going out on a clear and sunny day is my idea of a very very bad day. However, at night, it reminds me of something I've lost but can't remember. To be precise, it feels a lot like a lost sense of discovery. I guess part of the feeling comes from no longer seeing the mysteries of the night. I've been out on too many rain nights already, and clear ones besides. Ultimately, I suppose it is the desire for a change of scene, such that I may regain my curiosity. Truly, it is not a good feeling, becoming jaded in this manner. Sometimes I think there is something to be found out there, something I seek. Unfortunately, I still do not know what that is, only that it is not here. I can only trust that I'd know it when I find it.