Constant Cognition

I've come to realize that I tend to operate somewhat differently from most people I know. That is, I have a tendency to think over a goodly number of my conscious decisions. That is, a controlled form of second guessing that aims to root out the underlying reasons for my decision making. It is a method I developed as a means of self control, and it seems effective enough in that I am no longer prone to actually losing self control, going into a blood haze and coming out of it wondering just what the heck I did (usually something violent).

Anyway the thing is that constant cognition in this form comes with a price. For one, it certainly slows down the decision making process, and can even make it seem to stall by normal peoples' standards. Or perhaps my own, come to think of it. Moreover, the disabling of cognitive shortcuts also means nothing comes easily without some rumination and I suppose it involves some degree of mental strain as well. At the very least, it does require the ability to detach from emotions or at least ignore them for some time in order to have a less noisy picture.

Regardless, I do think overall it's a good solution to deal with my own personal needs. Of course, the tight self control also means that I have to be careful about things that may reduce my self control below a certain maintenance level. The outcome may not be quite desirable.