The Couple

The belief that a couple is the sum of two halves is rather misleading, whatever the intentions of whoever it was that created the concept. In fact, it is dangerous, when two incomplete individuals enter a relationship, expecting the other to make up for the shortcomings of the other. Perhaps that is why so many break up, if they were indeed built on such faulty foundations.

I think maturity is important for both people, and by my measure that means both will have to be fully realized individuals, or at least mostly fully realized. By being thus, both should have relative security in who they are, and at least the awareness and willpower to manage the insecurities that arise. Thus, the couple is not a sum of two halves, but the union of two wholes that turns out to be greater than the sum.

High standards, perhaps. However, people charging in with an eagerness to experience a sort of completion through forming a relationship are mostly doomed to failure. Perhaps it is possible by luck, but luck can only go so far. It is not the relationship that completes, but the ability of both parties to shore up one another during the down periods, and the maturity to manage disagreements without harboring insecurities they are unaware of. To me, that is the essence of an enduring couple, and the way they can get on in life strengthening one another without either becoming a drag in the long term.