Some Gendered Humour

A woman need know but one man well in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

Women's faults are many,
Men have only two:
Everything they say,
And everything they do.

It's easier to share your life with a dog than a woman because:
Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor.
The later you are, the more delighted dogs are to see you.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.
A dog won't wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Men play at love to get sex. Women play at sex to get love.


Dogs are more rewarding than men because:

You can house train a dog.
Dogs at least attempt to find what the've mislaid before appealing to you.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn't.
Men seldom make passes at a girl who surpasses.
His having a sense of humour doesn't mean that he laughs at your jokes. It means that you laugh at his.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

Men are like computers because:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

Women are like computers because:

Only the Creator understands their internal logic.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
The Error message is about as informative as "If you don't know what's wrong, I'm certainly not going to tell you."