I Forgot

Sometimes one can forget things. Sometimes those forgotten things can be once in a lifetime opportunities that cannot be regained. Ever wondered what that feels like? Strangely enough, when one actually manages to forget that, the pain does not hit immediately. I mean, if it's so important, it's quite unlikely that you'd forget in the first place.

Then comes the crunch, perhaps sometime in the distant future when you look back at what you've lost because of your forgetfulness. But for now? It's a sort of...non-feeling, and perhaps that of liberation. Knowing that even though an opportunity has passed you on, its passing allows you to pick and choose from others that you may ignore when you were busy clinging to the first. I forgot. And it doesn't hurt. Yet.

Double Standards

Humans love to establish double standards. The only thing they like more than establishing double standards would be to make them up to suit whatever they strongly believe. An example is human free will and sexuality. Nature? Nurture?

Clearly, humans have free will. They choose to believe it, anyway. They can make rational choices, and are obviously able to make hard choices at will. Humans are clearly not slaves to their urges. Even if a man is violent, the man can obviously choose to not hurt others. This is how free will comes in.

It all sounds very coherent until natureis considered. After all, it is the natural order of things for sexually reproducing species like humans to be heterosexual. How else do babies come along? Now, the only logical thing would be to follow these heterosexual urges and leave it at that. It is the natural thing, after all. Where did free will go? Suddenly, it becomes "right" to follow nature and thus free will becomes irrelevant in the face of this "right" sexual orientation.

Now, now...if people "choose" to turn gay, they obviously won't reproduce. Aren't all you Darwinians out there glad that nobody is sullying your gene pool?

Skill Spamming

From what I know, working in the "real world" is remarkably like skill spamming. That is, repeatedly using skills x, y and z over and over again, because work simply does not require you to use skills a through w very much. Strange, but true. They can teach you a thousand skills in school, yet only a few ever turn out to be really useful out there.

For me, it looks remarkably like someone trying to play an entire symphony with a limited range of notes. I do not think great symphonies should or would use a fraction of the musical scale to achieve its aims. Sure...maybe that would work for novelty pieces. But I think the truly great symphonies simply will not stoop to skill spamming...

Occult Symbols

There are many things written about the "real" use of occult symbols. Perhaps the pentacle is used to summon the devil, or that it represents the five prime elements. Whatever the symbol or its alleged use, it must be remembered that a symbol is what it is: A construct made by humans to represent something. The pentacle can mean whatever its user intends it to mean. As can an ankh, or the Star of David. What matters is the faith of the user. That very strong belief that the symbol can and will do what the user believes that it will. Therein lies the power of symbols.

Advertising Stress

Almost everyone knows that the models in adverts are unrealistic. That is, they simply do not represent average people in reality. In fact, the models as pictured in ads may not exist at all. Strangely enough, this knowledge does not seem to stop impressionable young minds from taking these unrealistic standards as the very picture of perfection that is to be striven towards.

It is probably a matter of the unattainable being the most desirable. Still, it is a terrible thing how people can believe visual media to the extent that they become distressed over not being able to be like these virtual goddesses and gods. Perhaps it is the impact of a photograph, and the implicit belief that photographs reflect reality. Cameras can, do and will continue to lie. It should be time that people wised up and quit believing what they know to be lies.

The Siege Mentality

There is a problem when things cause the siege mentality to emerge in people. Take for example a moving standard by which you are gauged. That standard moves by the quality of your peers. Ordinarily, that would not be an issue. It is fair, since you are evaluated in relation to your peers.

Now put this in the context of a job interview. 5 candidates, 1 opening. Clearly, something has to give. For the purposes of this discussion, the assumption would be that the 5 candidates all want the opening and are unwilling to cede it to anyone else. Naturally, the response would be to engage the siege mentality. That is, assume that everyone will do their best to get that job opening.

The act of fighting for the opening causes quality inflation. All 5 candidates will try to put their best foot forward to best one another. Now, assuming that there will be 1 candidate selected regardless their quality, the best thing for everyone to do would be to put in as little effort as it takes to get in. After all, if everyone is of uniformly poor quality, they would be equally matched as they would if they were all of uniformly excellent quality.

This does not happen, of course. Everyone strives for excellence, creating an artificial constant of stress. Yes, this would improve quality. However, quality at what cost? What will society become, given that it is driven by such ceaselessly shifting measures?

It's...Very Hard

Few things can be as intimidating as something that is said to be "very hard" to do. I worry less when someone tells me that something is impossible. It just means the person who told me that is entirely inept, or it's truly impossible to accomplish. Something "very hard" just pretty much throws it in my face that I would have to put in an incredible amount of effort over an extended period of time to achieve what I want to. Were it said to be impossible, I could just declare it bunk and go ahead to achieve it anyway. I'd get an ego boost in the bargain. Either that, or I could convince myself that it cannot be done, and put my legs up for the entire duration. But if it's very hard? Oh crap...People seldom exaggerate things that way. For some reason, that thing has a very good chance of turning out to be quite true.

What Ethics?

There can be few things as irritating as ethical people. No, not the sort that are against genocides and gender discrimination (those would be moral rather than ethical, I feel). I'm talking about those who just love to set up rules to bind themselves, just so they can fulfill some strange code of ethics that make sense only to themselves. I think it is horribly inefficient to come up with self-imposed restrictions that do not add value to the project at hand. I note this is especially common amongst those who read between the lines when it comes to instructions: If instruction A is there, it implies that it also requires B and C and D. For me, I'd much prefer to do things above and beyond the requirement in order to add value to everything that falls within the bounds of instruction A. I mean...who's against a bit of padding to make things look good...

Women's Money

Strangely, women being unable to earn as much as men has been taken as evidence that women should stay in the domestic sphere than as a clear injustice that must be dealt with. Female power has historicallybeen slipping at every turn in classic patriarchal societies. In the absence of apparent superior choices, it is inevitable that women choose a steady level of reduced rights than a slim chance of full rights as citizens. This could be due to a focus on the dominance of one sex over the other, than as the drive towards giving both sexes equal weightage.

I think complacency is perhaps the biggest threat to human rights in general. This is not only concerning women's money, but the rights to freedom of speech, expression and even common behaviour. When things are horribly oppressive, everyone starts coming up in arms against perceived injustices. Then someone bows to these demands, people feel comfortable and they start resting on their laurels. No wonder dictatorships can arise under the guise of democracy...

Housework

I hate housework. C'mon...someone tell me they actually like that. Housework is the precise thing that has practically zero productivity and seems to be self-regenerating. Anyone who says that housework can ever be finished either doesn't do housework, is lying or simply doesn't have anyone living in the house. My mere presence is enough to make kipple and housework appear out of nowhere. I tidy the room like mad, drop a book where it is convenient and I find myself seeding the growth of yet another horrible mess.

So the question would be...how much would I pay for someone to do my housework, if any? The answer is that I probably wouldn't. Well...that or minimum wage. Then again, if one considers that I would never want to work for a minimum wage, it is illogical to expect me to do housework professionally. What happens, then, to those poor domestic helpers and engineers? Clearly, they are under-appreciated! If anything, they should at least be paid a significant portion of the opportunity cost of working professionally. And don't get me started on childcare...

Governments, Not Mushrooms

Good, qualified governments do not pop up like mushrooms after continued rainfall. This seems to be the apparent belief of some people who think toppling an authoritarian regime by protests for democracy will automagically result in the formation of a new democratic government. In any country larger than a city, such an outcome is highly unlikely.

However, it must also be understood that the capacity of human endurance is incredible. In the absence of agents of change, a move towards more humane conditions for the citizens of a country can take centuries or even longer. History will attest to the propensity to the ability of humans to tolerate authoritarian regimes for hundreds or even thousands of years as long as their lives are afforded some modicum of peace and stability.

Still, it should be made clear that no amount of generalizing will help what goes on in the real world. This is not a matter of democratic, asian, western, authoritarian or any number of value systems and ideologies out there. In just about any modern government, the authorities hold significant power by virtue of their office, and it is as likely to be an "asian" value as it is a personal value.

I believe it is a personal value, given that claiming to represent christian or democratic or asian values is a gross oversimplification and is likely to be no more than subverting a categorical group's credibility as your own. An immense number of atrocities have been committed under the banner of higher morals or ideals.

So, when a situation emerges that requires a government to step up atop an existing one that is making the people in general suffer? It becomes a matter of whether the people feel they are suffering, which is not something that can be viewed under the lens of ideology. And when those people feel that they need a new leadership, it matters little how much pain and suffering will result. This will be a move for the future generations. Good governance simply does not pop up like a mushroom, allowing the current generation to enjoy its heady shade.

Those Crazy Monks!

I am so amazed and extremely proud of these monks. http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/F649F281-F993-41BD-AF9F-11C1552CCACB.htm Myanmar is probably one of the worst countries on earth to have a march like this, especially since they are moving for a change in the political regime. I think this is perhaps one of the best calculated and beautifully orchestrated pro-democracy event I've seen in a long time.

Myanmar is a largely Buddhist country, resulting in great respect for the monks. This means the monks already have popular support. Monks also have a reputation for non-violence. Were people like myself to march on the streets, the government could easily put us down as violent or potentially violent protesters. Unarmed monks? That would cause not only a huge uproar locally, but would also create an internationally recognizable human and civil rights violation.

There is also the shock value to such a move. Monks are perhaps not expected to be politically motivated. I personally did not think they had it in them. At worst, the Burmese government may label them as radicals and not monks since they have given up their religious inclinations in favour of political motivations. I don't think many would buy such an excuse, tho. Overall, I think their rallying call is powerful and the people finally do have a precedent for a movement against the oppressive leadership. It is my hope that others living under similar regimes all over the world to do likewise, should they feel that their leadership does more harm than good.

Eating What You Kill

This just reminds me about how far humans have been removed from nature and their food sources. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070916/hl_nm/locavore_dc. It is one thing to say that meat is just meat. The separation between meat and killing has made many humans rather callous about just how the meat comes about. What? Kill animals for food? That's just cruel. But thank goodness I get my meat from a supermarket.

I think it's sad when people say to me that they're thankful that they have someone else to kill the animals so they can have the meat. It's a certain sort of disconnect whereby the guilt is transferred to the butchers and there is no longer any sense of responsibility for the life that was sacrificed to bring meat to the table.

Still, all of this isn't nearly as bad as humans who kill for sport. That is hardly sporting, and really rather wasteful. I'm not saying that pests can't be killed to protect one's crops. It's just that one really shouldn't go around filling random animals with lead just for the heck of it, or just 'coz someone wants another stuffed head in the cabin.

Loneliness In The City

I cannot help but conclude that loneliness in urban environments is self-inflicted. Modern big cities have an incredible population density per square mile, with enough people within a stone's throw to completely invalidate any argument of "loneliness". Yes, you can hit at least a hundred people within a stone's throw, even if you throw like a girl.

What is it about cities that makes people feel lonely? There are millions of people rushing about at any one time, with apparently nobody feeling the urge to stop and chat. Does this imply that the lack of small talk with random people is what causes loneliness? I think small talk is perhaps one of the biggest time wasters in the social context. Yet if one feels sufficiently inclined to crawl out of the self-inflicted morass of loneliness, one only has to grab the neighbour on the train or bus and irk the poor fella with small talk. Loneliness in a crowd of thousands? I hardly think so.

Urban Machismo

Some things really make me pity urban men and their machismo. One of them would be the “macho” field trip. First, they try to be rough and tough, climbing (and thus conquering) tall mountains. Of course, this would have been particularly heroic (and quite foolhardy) if they were to go it alone and carry their equipment while they were at it.

The reality is quite different, though. Those macho, macho men will find themselves shrugging those incredibly heavy equipment off to sherpa "guides". I think perhaps those urban dwellers should realize that the guides are merely there to keep the men from hurting and/or embarrassing themselves. It's one thing to carry comparatively light equipment up a mountain while being decked out in all sorts of fancy mountaineering gear. It's quite something else to be able to trudge up the mountain in ordinary kit while carrying the tents and stuff of the urban dwellers. So...who's macho, again?

A Loss

I am slightly upset over losing a necklace today. Granted, it didn't cost me very much. However, I hate losing stuff and especially the only black cord accessory I have. Of course, this is also an excuse for me to go jewelery shopping. Still...if anything of mine decides to leave, I guess I'll have to respect its wishes. Even companions go away from time to time, I guess...

My Night Visitor

I managed to catch a glimpse of the night visitor as it decided to pose for me in midair. Those things are fast! Aaaanyway, the bat turned out to be a fruit bat, and not of the vampire variety. What a pity. I would've thought one of my friends decided to drop by. Still, this flying furball decided that the bananas we hung up near the window were yummy and good for her tummy, so we regularly had half-eaten bananas in our bunch.

I suppose I blinded the poor thing with my camera's flashes, seeing as how the bat was in a terrible panic, flying all over the apartment. Well...I can't help it if someone invades my sanctum, dear =p

Going Batty

It's especially interesting to have bats fluttering into your apartment...two nights in a row. I was watching TV this evening when the bat flew past me and then back out the kitchen window. Mom noticed, too, and told me that a bat did the exact same thing in the middle of last night, except it beat its wings against the window in an effort to get out. This would be odd, since my apartment also happens to be on the 12th floor, and bats aren't terribly inclined to get into my nice, dark, dank place. Oh wait...perhaps that's why...

Besides, that could've simply been one of my vampire friends, so I'm not about to complain. Perhaps they'd stop by for tea this time, or something.

As a side note, I felt something I didn't feel for some time: My animal side emerging some. It's just that time period where awareness is enhanced, every sense just seems to come alive, and suddenly being around humans becomes something alien. It's a bit like walking amongst potential threats, having to be on edge at all times. Interesting feel, that.

The Scope

Another piece of the puzzle: A scope for the E510. Its specs are nice enough. Actually, I was agonizing over whether to get this one, or the newer kit lens with the same focal length range. I settled on this after finding out that it had a full f-stop of aperture above and beyond that of the new kit. I later realized that it had a metal mount, weighed nearly twice as much and was Made In Japan. Now, I fully understand that products made in China can potentially be every bit as good as one made in Japan, but cost of production is higher there and overall I feel that I got better value for money with this item. I mean, it's new after all and what more can I want for my current budget (short of them risky second hand stuff).

I really needed a zoom because there are some things that I just can't reach with an 84mm lens. That's especially so if I'm trying to hit something that isn't right in front of me. There are just some things that are pretty necessary 'coz you'd lack the capabilities without them, and there are other things that are "nice to have". A macro lens would be nice-to-have, but hardly something a student with my pathetic skill level would really need. I feel that quality macro shots are really quite gimmicky, specialized and have requirements for equipment beyond what I have and would get on a student's budget. For near-essentials, the final thing I'd need is a proper flash unit. That is, when I exhaust the capabilities of the body flash. I suspect the body flash can be pushed beyond its current limits were I to fit it with a suitable diffuser or a reflector. Experimentation time.

Lost

Despite having a syllabus that looks positively kickass this semester, I feel strangely lost. Or perhaps it's a lack of drive. I'm not entirely sure. I think there's just so much I can do with my time, and no amount of work I do within the day can amount to what I expect of myself. I know this sounds silly, but the feeling was only reinforced when I missed a lecture today. It's like...I may not pay attention during the lecture, but I feel that I have achieved *something*. That something which I do not have when doing research for this and that. Time to buck up, strap myself in and be antisocial?