Facecopter

My graphics card was repaired today, so I got to head down to the repair shop to pick it up. This is a truly joyous day, when I can finally get my equipment at its best and run things at decent settings again. But as always, I do tend to be less than alert in the daytime.

After I got my card, I was walking down the mall when I noticed an oldish guy looking at me in surprise and making a strange surprised sound. While I walked towards him, wondering why he was making the sound, I heard a whirring and saw a blur in front of me. Then something hit my face and landed on the ground. I realized it was a toy helicopter.

It turns out that I walked right into a toy copter hovering just at my chin level while trying to figure out why the old dude looked surprised. I'm rather bad at reading faces, but my best estimate of his expression afterwards was a mix of surprise and annoyance, presumably because I facecoptered him. There's a lesson to be had here, and it is that if one tries to facecopter Fenris, they get facecoptered instead. Fenris's face is tougher than most toy copters.

Of course, this is a fairly unusual situation since I have pretty adequate reflexes even (or perhaps especially) when sleepy. It's probably because the copter completely bypassed my IFF system. Besides, it's got an effective threat value of zero except if/when it manages to score a crit. Still, it's amusing and I do wonder if the toy was permanently damaged. I wouldn't be sorry if it was, since the old dude failed to keep it out of my path in the first place.

Memento Mori

While I was tidying up my room during spring cleaning, I popped open the drawers at my desk and looked at all the junk contained within. Logically, if the junk is there and not to be thrown away, it has to serve some kind of purpose. Otherwise, I should just dump the stuff and free up the storage space. It's kinda like inventory management.

So basically I found that my stuff turned out to be junk and mementos. Not to be confused with Mentos. The mementos could be further separated into my stuff, and stuff people gave me or stuff that's related to other people. After sifting out the stuff, I realized that most were obsolete anyway so they went into the junk pile.

What remained were basically items from my past, and stuff from people who are now dead. So I wound up reserving one drawer as a time capsule of sorts, and the other as a dedicated memento mori drawer. Sort of like a memorial drawer, which is pretty much what I'm calling it at this point.

Currently, 3 ex-peoples' stuff occupies the space, though a 4th person's stuff is too big so it's in my shelf. 4 and counting. Well, at least I now have an excuse to keep some sorts of junk...errr...mementos... around.

Death's Follow Through

My 3rd aunt died early in the morning today. The wake was quickly put together by the casket service, and we attended it to have one last look at the body. After talking to the sons about the past month and her travails, I was rather peeved that it seems quite apparent that the doctors were not very proactive about dealing with her health problems as quickly as possible. The observation by one son that she seemed dazed and drowsy was largely ignored by the doctor and dismissed as a regular result of dialysis. It does seem that being in a 3rd class ward means that patients get 3rd class medical care.

I noticed today the different ways people deal with death. Some family friends bowed before the casket but did not attempt to look at the body. Others went in to have a look. I asked the sons whether they would be alright with my taking photos of the scene, and they expressed no objections. I figured it would be a good way to remember the day, but it seemed that they were (understandably) not inclined to have a documentary memento of this day of bereavement.

My parents were quite horrified that I decided to take pictures of the body, given some sort of taboo about taking pictures of the dead. They were rather insistent that I delete the photos of the body itself. I did comply, since it is quite pointless to keep the pictures if nobody was intent on seeing images of the body (specifically the face). One does not argue with cultural sensitivities, since everyone is entitled to their choice of opiate. Death portraits were quite in vogue elsewhere, not too long ago. However, I figured it was even more disrespectful of the meat to have it pickled and displayed before others, then barbecued in a specialized kiln, and have the ashes picked out later to be stored in a jar.

Of course, the follow through of death is simply a matter of opinion. For practical purposes, a body is just a body and really...it matters little what one does with the body. It is meat like any slaughtered cattle, and due no more respect than other pieces of meat. Yet, it remains a symbol of what was once a person, and where I think an image does the ex-person more justice, others think not having the image would serve better.

As for myself, if/when I do become a lump of meat, I would much prefer incineration followed by scattering or being fed to the wolves than to be gutted, pickled, barbecued, then stuffed in an urn. To me, the last option would be a rather undignified way to treat a lump of meat, and does no honor to its meaty goodness.

Realistic Rationality

Efficiency is often explored at a theoretical level. Even then, it is difficult to define what exactly is regarded as "efficient". Will it be private benefit, social benefit, an average of both, or are there other forms of benefit that can be rationally evaluated? From the Prisoner's Dilemma, it can be seen that rational choices can be exceedingly disadvantageous to the counterparts. It is also established that people are largely law-abiding, though it seems advantageous to kill everyone in sight and take their money.

The thing that keeps most people from doing socially appalling things on a regular basis seems to be social costs in their various forms. They can range from social censure to actual laws. Those serve to hold back the more socially undesirable conducts. If anything, they force irrational conduct. More specifically, they force a response that fits the situation.

If rational actions go unregulated, the negative externalities may well exceed actual gains. This is seen in the rational solution to the Dilemma, whereby both prisoners are disadvantaged while they would create a net overall benefit had they colluded. This does raise the question of what, exactly, rational conduct is. In the presence of inefficiencies and social costs, it is actually rational to be irrational, because the network of costs in an irrational system only maximally rewards appropriately irrational conduct. To be irrational...is to be efficient!

The other common barrier to rational solutions is switching costs. For example, while I may rationally switch from the QWERTY keyboard to a more efficient layout, I am consciously unwilling to do so because that would involve learning a whole new layout all over again. Due to the learning curve, I would be facing reduced productivity until my aptitude increases to match my QWERTY proficiency. Moreover, inefficient information prevents me from knowing for sure whether my switch would provide net benefit, since a whole new massively efficient input paradigm may come out in the next decade thus rendering my new learning moot. In short, switching costs make the irrational decision to stay seem more efficient than the rational one to switch, though in perfect knowledge the decision may be entirely wrong.

Combining the two does seem to provide a basis for why so many seemingly dumb things are being constantly tolerated in the world. If anything, it would prove exceedingly difficult to convince a majority of individuals to switch around to more rational conduct. However, it is not impossible to force change by a drastic change in circumstances. How unfortunate...

The Opiate Of the Masses

Religion is truly the opiate of the masses. I think it is remarkable that some religions can preach goodness and submission in exchange for comfort. What a great deal! All you have to do is surrender your will to something greater than you are, and you'll get comfort in exchange.

Strangely enough, it seems like precisely what a monarch would want to ensure a docile populace. Now, I have nothing against goodness and good deeds. Those generate social benefits and these positive externalities are almost certainly welcome. I do, however, take issue with the concept of submission.

In my opinion, there is a difference between submitting one's will to a higher authority, and dedicating one's deeds and thoughts to a higher purpose or authority. The first involves a surrender of free will, and taking on the will of the higher authority. The second involves a redirection of free will to align oneself with the higher authority or purpose. The distinction here is that the first opens one to abuse by others claiming to know the will of the higher authority, while the second is a matter of free will and there is discretion involved.

This discretion is essential in ensuring that one's deeds and thoughts are properly aligned with what one believes of one's higher purpose. Otherwise, it is possible for one to be told that food is good, and for that someone to continue forcing more good food down the gullet of a goose to give the goose more goodness. Poor goose. How tasty.

On The Styx

It seems that ultimately the prognosis of my third aunt is effectively hopeless. Too much brain damage, a shattered pelvis, renal failure and a fever that refuses to go away simply means it's just a matter of time.

What does disturb me is that the whole matter smacks of incompetence. The doctor reportedly claimed that her fever was due to brain damage interfering with homeostatic body temperature. The pelvis fracture was recently discovered. However, since she was admitted to the hospital after a fall, it seems likely that her pelvis was fractured then. If anything, it should have been something that was tested for first. As for the brain damage, she was able to speak when at the hospital, but was already running a fever at the time. Unless it was a brain fever or some other infection, it seems improbable that her brain was so damaged that it could no longer regulate body temperature.

Just a couple days back, they found that she had no running infection, but continued antibiotic treatment nonetheless because of the fever. What seems unusual is that she was diagnosed with sepsis at the time of admission, which was what was proposed to have caused her fever in the first place. It would be probable that her sepsis was associated with kidney failure rather than an infection. More importantly, a fracture can also be associated with the onset of sepsis due to the fact that the fracture was identified as "severe", and necrotizing of tissue in the fracture area is probable.

On the whole, the claims of the doctor do not make sense and could indicate that she was experiencing some rare condition or that the medical personnel at the time did not take the necessary actions to ascertain the nature of her injuries and determine appropriate treatment. It may also be probable that there was a misdiagnosis involved either due to staff overwork or inexperience.

Humans And Crows

Crows are a rather maligned bird. They are black (ugly), sound harsh (another minus) are big (scary) and highly intelligent (scary as well). I was watching the rifle guys shooting crows in my neighbourhood, with a government permit no less, simply to keep the crow population down.

Now, lest people think that my neighbourhood has a crow population like something out of Alfred Hitchcock flicks, I should point out that I see them only occasionally. In fact, I see far more sparrows and mynahs, along with large flocks of pigeons. Strangely enough, the crows have crosshairs painted on them while the pigeons are allowed to fly all over the place. Presumably pooping on heads and laundry while they are at it.

Could it be disease spreading? Well...crows in large numbers will most certainly spread disease, but then again so will large numbers of pigeons, other birds or even humans. Perhaps we should shoot surplus humans to curb the spread of disease. If anything, I believe this enmity between humans and crows is akin to what Hans Landa says about rats in Inglourious Basterds: There simply is something about them that people detest.

They don't look particularly cute, and neither do they sound nice. They're smart enough to feed themselves at will, and big enough to defend themselves. If anything, I love crows. There is a metallic sheen to their feathers, and their harsh cries are simply another form of birdsong. The fact that they are big and able to defend themselves is yet another endearing trait, and I rarely see a crow chewed up by the neighbourhood cat, unlike the occasional hapless pigeon or mynah. Maybe humans simply don't like competition.

Me And My Stuff

I do seem to have an interesting propensity towards developing fairly deep emotional attachment to some objects. Primarily my handkerchiefs. Especially my favourite amongst the bunch. Just today, I noticed another one of them was fraying. This will not make much sense, but all I can say is that I feel their pain. In fact, it feels like a sense of loss quite akin to what I'd feel when a friend is passing on. Of course, that's a purely irrational feeling (not that they ever are rational) since hankies aren't gona have feelings and I can always get another. I think. But like Linus' security blanket, it just wouldn't be the same if I got another.

On a side note, I realized why the exhaust airflow in my computer casing is so sluggish despite having an obscenely powerful 120mm box fan fitted. It seems that the front grill of a Coolermaster Centurion casing is hardly efficient at letting air through. It appears to reduce airflow by at least 50%, which is logical given that the perforations are 50% of the total surface area or less. I dare not think just how much I had been sacrificing in airflow before I removed the foam filters, which would have further reduced airflow. No wonder my graphics card overheated.

Types Of Humor

Indeed it does seem that not everyone is able to appreciate every kind of humor. While I am capable of finding most jokes funny even when others do not, some jovial statements serve only to bewilder. Just today I was reading an article about a young lady being teased for going vegetarian. One example of the tease was about having stray pigs and cows running around as a consequence of people going vegetarian.

I suppose this sort of humor can be regarded as a form of hyperbolic absurd humor, since it is indeed possible (albeit in a purely absurd way) that farmed animals could become strays and wander all over the place. The mental image of farm animals wandering about a city is somewhat amusing, though forced at best. I suppose the very unlikeliness of the scenario proposed does pretty much outweigh any form of amusement at its absurdity.

Then again, I do tend to have a sadistic streak in enjoying physical comedy to an extent. Hell, I'd even laugh at certain scenes in Ingluorious Basterds for their sheer absurdity despite the gore. Of course, I suppose my benchmark for humor requires a certain degree of likeliness before it qualifies. Otherwise, it is merely an absurd or, in rare occasions, a simply offensive statement.

Diffusion Of Responsibility

Indeed, it does seem that diffusion of responsibility has quite an effect, especially in crowded cities. Today, I was at a food court and a young lady had a rather bad epileptic fit. She fell to the ground and probably bit her tongue in the process. There was quite a bit of bleeding, and one of the men near her (friend/relative, presumably) shoved a spoon in her mouth while another lady tried to get her settled down without moving her off the floor.

What was interesting was the small concerned crowd that gathered almost immediately, gawking at the scene. A majority of the people in the area noticed what happened, but did not move in to help in some way. What was quite remarkable was that despite all this attention, it took nearly five minutes before someone decided to call for an ambulance. It seems likely that diffusion of responsibility was at play here, since nobody (myself included) felt particularly inclined to make the call...assuming that someone would.

It is scenes like these that make me feel that there are a goodly number of Patricia Tannises in the city, since those of us who did not immediately go to gawk or render assistance seemed perfectly capable of enjoying our meals while someone else was convulsing on the floor. In fact, I did feel a mild irritation at the inconvenience of the timing of the fit, as it was interrupting my magazine reading. I like reading at the meal table. It gives me something to do, and adds a sense of accomplishment to what would otherwise turn out to be "just" a meal.

Of course, I did not eventually decide to knife her or shoot her several times in the back, then figure that her name was Leslie and how she had a troubled childhood from having a guy's name. There may yet be some remaining dreg of my ever fading sanity.

Visiting Aunt

We visited 3rd aunt today, and it seems that she is doing quite poorly at this point. What I had initially mistaken for a plump, healthy appearance was in reality a result of bloating from renal failure. It is readily apparent that she is incapable of movement or speech.

However, it seems that she is quite capable of sight and comprehension despite her otherwise near-complete paralysis from the stroke. She could blink her eyes appropriately in response to questions, and had a limited capability to smile when amused by humorous quips. Moreover, she could move her eyes to look at the visitors.

From the movement of her tongue, it seems that she is making attempts to speak, though she is currently incapable of forming words proper. It is fortunate, though, that she appears to be able to recognize the visitors and what little can be ascertained of her cognitive faculties suggests a positive prognosis. I am making a mental note to do something downright hilarious the next time we visit, to see if she is capable of laughter.

A Sad Day

Just today, I learned that my 3rd aunt's condition worsened. It seems the toxins in her bad leg are still wreaking havoc in her system, despite the hospital's best efforts at administering daily dialysis. It seems that besides the failed kidneys, her brain's taking some damage. To be precise, her brain's probably already damaged at this point, since the last report from her son indicates that she's developed a fixed gaze. Loss of brain function, and she's now pending a brain scan. Frankly, I do not have high hopes at this point. At best, if needs be, I do hope she goes peacefully without dragging it out.

One thing that bothers me to no end is how sad her life had been from birth till today. And it is ironic that a simple fall led to a chain of events that would probably do her in. First something got damaged in her bad leg, causing toxins to leak into her blood stream. Then she was hospitalized, where they found that she was developing sepsis. Even after loads of antibiotics and dialysis, the situation has not improved.

Of course, lots of similar things happened as a result of a simple fall. Assuming that the fall is not immediately fatal, it can easily lead to one becoming bedridden and developing complications as a result of that. Or say the injury from the fall turns gangrenous. Something like that.

Anyway, c'est la vie, non? Humans are mortal and fragile. That much should not be forgotten. Memento Mori.

The Importance Of Freedom Of Speech

I was watching documentaries today, and the content of the documentaries really got me thinking about the importance of freedom of speech. One featured very guarded and tentative criticisms of the government's lack of environmental consciousness, while the other was an outright criticism of another administration's failures.

Indeed, the practical value of freedom of speech is limited to the administration's willingness to listen. If the people speak up and the comments are deemed undesirable for any reason (stupid, inappropriate, untenable or seditious, for example), obviously nothing would be done about it. Indeed, it is also possible for the admin to pay lip service to the comments, and do nothing about it at all.

Yet, one should not discount the value of free speech. In the absence of commentary on the lack of environmental consciousness, valuable biodiversity could have been lost. Corruption could go unchecked. Incompetence could have been swept under the carpet. Indeed these will be criticisms of the admin, and can be interpreted by those in power as seditious by virtue of the comments being damaging to the admin's reputation and therefore destabilizing the country by increasing discontent.

However, the truth of the matter remains. It is an irresponsible admin that ignores its own flaws. In fact it is no less than treason on the part of the leaders. One need only look towards the collapse of dictatorships to see how the minds of leaders can be poisoned by the ignorance that they themselves encouraged in a bid to cling on to power. It does not suffice to have free speech alone. What is needed is a listening ear, and an inclination towards reform that accompanies it.

The Protestant Work Ethic

It is strange how jealous people get when they encounter those of privilege who do not work. While much of the readily available work out there is less than enjoyable (especially so if it involves interacting with humans), it does not follow that the perceived idleness of the non-workers is somehow damaging to themselves.

I remember how some people asserted that the idle people had too much time on their hands, and thus developed mental disturbances from excessive mental ruminations or started doing mean things to other people. I find that an absurd claim, since mental disturbances or mean inclinations are really quite independent of one's work status. Indeed, I think one who commits suicide from work stress is quite mentally disturbed. As is the rich career person doing mean things to subordinates.

The origin of these absurd notions seems to come from some variant of the protestant work ethic, whereby work is not just a means towards an income for survival, but a sort of duty that is somehow cleansing. One would recall the proverb that the idle mind is the Devil's workshop. Yet it must be noted that not all who are NEET are necessarily idle. It may well be that they have a kind of routine going that simply does not earn money. Would that, then, be considered idleness and subject to the absurd notions associated with idleness?

The Vagaries Of Fortune

Today, my 3rd aunt was admitted to hospital after she fell in her bathroom. Apparently, she sustained some injuries at her leg, which is afflicted with elephantiasis. Unfortunately, that also means that she's now experiencing sepsis. The doctors are attempting to fix her up with antibiotics, followed by dialysis. The situation does not look good. Sepsis is always a nasty thing.

Sometimes these things make me think about the vagaries of fortune, and just how random the world is. Some people get extreme good luck, others get extreme bad luck, and all this is independent of how they are as people. Take my aunt for example. She's quite the kind soul, but has never had a stroke of good luck at any point in her life. If there was some sort of cosmic system of justice influenced by one's goodness, it's either totally buggy or nonexistent to begin with.

Of course, in a way, this is a cause for guilt. Do the more fortunate creatures move in to help the less fortunate ones? Where does one draw the line for helping others? Yet the guilt may be misplaced. In my aunt's case, not only was her problem unforeseeable, it also stemmed from a small complication in an operation decades ago resulting in her case of elephantiasis. What help could have been granted? And the next question would be how much is due...

Video Cooling

It seems I may have fried yet another video card no thanks to the extreme heat in my computer casing. The card started producing the typical overheated video ram/GPU artifacts, like weird flickering artifacts obscuring the entire game display, sudden freezes and the like.

The card was sent for servicing under the warranty coverage, and I managed to persuade the supplier to get me a loaner unit. Unfortunately, despite the loaner being a lower end card, it started developing heat issues. I decided to go open casing.

The drawback of open casing setups is that first the case is highly exposed and very vulnerable to liquid spills, bugs entering, etc. More importantly, the open casings have less efficient air flows if not actively cooled and in the same confined area as my current comp.

My solution was to have one of the small but extremely powerful sound system cooling fans and fit it in such a way that it directly feeds cooler air to the vid card. It's the heavy variety of 120mm fan that has incredible output, with a metal frame and blades. Relatively quiet, to boot.

However, as it was feeding in the air from the side of the casing near the rear end, it was in danger of recycling the warmer air from the exhaust vents at the rear of the casing. To minimize air recycling, I installed a cardboard baffle at the exhaust to direct the hot air away from the new fan's intake.

First tests before the fan's installation indicated that CPU temps were around mid 50 degs C on load, and the casing temp was around 50 degs as well. The top of the casing itself felt warm, which indicated a hot air buildup. Not acceptable at all. Obviously, the heatsink on the CPU is blasting it with hot air. My loaner card did not have an electronic temp monitor, but it stands to reason that 50 deg air was bad for it.

After powering up the new fan, casing temps quickly dropped to 34 degs, which is a few degs warmer than the ambient. However, the top of the casing still felt warm on load, suggesting heat issues. Moreover, the CPU temp was largely unchanged, indicating that the fan's cool air was not hitting it at all. The CPU was located somewhere above the vid card.

My solution was then to elevate the fan using a brick, so that it spewed the cool air towards the CPU as well. This greatly improved the air flow over the vid card and hit the CPU as a bonus. This time, not only did the CPU and casing temps drop, the top of the casing did not feel warm anymore. A test of a video game demonstrated that the graphics card glitches were now completely absent.

I expect that the heat issues should be gone with my graphics card when it comes back from servicing. However, only a test of the system on load will be able to definitively prove that.

Color Management

I have always been wondering why people were often unimpressed or had strange comments about the images I churned out. At first I assumed it was a matter of monitor calibration, though it is quite rare for monitors to be wildly out of calibration. Basically, what looked great on my monitor did not look terribly good on theirs.

Then I remembered the color profiles inherent in my pics, and the simple fact that most users simply did not use color management. While it is indeed possible for me to display gamut in Photoshop and tweak each individual image to suit the color profiles of most other users, that would involve a lot of effort on my part and completely throw off the color accuracy of my prints. After re-enabling color management on Firefox, the issue was resolved and my colors displayed correctly again.

When I do set up a site to get my pics marketed, the first thing I would do is provide a tutorial for users to enable color management on their browsers such that all images would appear as they are intended. On a side note, it is also pretty remarkable how much more sensitive I was to "off" colors in my food than I was with most of my other pictures. Indeed, slightly different colors for landscape shots went largely unnoticed, and did not really require any tweaking. For food, however...the difference in the reds determines the line between yum and yuck.

On Learning Difficulties

I do wonder at the strange propensity people have towards trying to medicalize all sorts of "learning difficulties". I remember reading an article whereby people were advised to identify learning difficulties in their children, and "seek help" as early as possible.

While I appreciate the approach (http://www.cec.sped.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home&CONTENTID=7006&TEMPLATE=/CM/ContentDisplay.cfm) the CEC is taking towards helping children with different learning needs, the common approach is to try to shoehorn everyone into the standard school system instead. I find that rather unfortunate, with the fail-first approach or using medication to enable the doped-up kids to fit in and get along with the program.

I would certainly look forward to the day when there is no stigma attached to having children put in special education programs. Though, knowing human nature, that day will be a long time coming.

Molest

When I consider cases of scantily clad women getting molested, I cannot help but be repulsed by the comments of some people. It is pretty common to hear insensitive comments about how the woman is "asking for it" in some way, and that the man would be wasting a good chance to touch a woman if such an opportunity were declined due to his common decency.

I think most would agree that if I were to leave valuables at my windowsill and someone were to steal them, it would still be no less wrong of the person to have stolen my items. In fact, it is clear that I had been foolish in leaving them out in the open, but that does not exonerate the perpetrator in any way.

The difference in judgments on these cases will emerge when people consider whom the guilt lies on. Some would insist that the victim was foolish, and should take precautions in future against such occurrences. Others would assert that the perpetrator was wrong all the way, victim's foolishness notwithstanding.

It is my belief that living in a society is in itself a leap of faith. That faith is that the people would largely abide by the laws. Of course, it is understood that the laws run contrary to human nature and temptations. However, the leap of faith requires that people adhere to it despite their urges. If the situation were turned around, and the perpetrator became the victim, I think they would not be amused if their items got stolen, or their daughters got molested...simply because of a lack of precaution taken. Of course, I would have little to say should they be consistent enough in their beliefs that even were they the victims on the flip side. I do somehow doubt that that would be the case if such a thing would really befall them.

Avatar's Aesthetics

The world of Pandora in Avatar has been widely praised as being gorgeous and downright spectacular at night. One friend of mine noted that the forest was silent at night, and had beautiful lights everywhere. After thinking for a while, I realized that the lights of the forest reminded me of the city.

I find it curious that I do not hear much about the lush foliage of the Pandora jungle, or how strange the plants are in the daytime. Instead, the comments were about the nice light show at night. Interestingly enough, we have a similar light show at night: the city lights. Of course, the city lights seem strangely less endearing. Perhaps it is the strange union of city and jungle that so fascinates people?

Yet it is also unusual in that the jungle is also remarkably still, as my friend noted. There seems to be virtually no insect life, nor any other sounds of life. If nothing, that makes me think of an artificial wilderness. How fitting, then...having a jungle married to a city, with virtually no other insect life apart from the human-equivalents: the Na'Vi.

Planet 51

Sometimes, the reviews on Rottentomatoes are not to be trusted. Planet 51 is one of the classic children's shows, featuring an alien "invasion" with the invader/invadee roles switched. When I last checked, the reviews were in the low 20%, which basically made the show exceptionally bad. This time, though, the reviews seemed quite fixated on how the show's jokes were unfunny and it was childish (unsurprising for a children's show) and incorporated slapstick scatological humor.

Well, given what I saw in the trailers, I was quite inclined to give it a spin despite its terrible reviews on Tomato. I was pleasantly surprised that it was a show with reasonably funny kid jokes and quite some dashes of cuteness. All that interspersed with cultural references and especially jibes at general human paranoia when faced with the unknown. Planet 51 is a standard old story of alien arrives, everyone goes panicky and eventually alien gets to go home when the natives settle down.

I suppose the show was largely victimized by serious-minded adults rating the movie the way they would as serious-minded adults. There seemed to be little appreciation for the general silliness, the somewhat simple textures and all that cute. I would not think this movie was great, but it does get a 7/10 from me nonetheless.

The New Year

I suppose I write at least one such entry every year... But yeah, festivities do tend to get me rather pensive. Firstly, of course, I am not a big fan of participating in whatevers just to feel like a part of something larger than myself. That's not to say that I feel others should do the same...that's just me.

What I do tend to recall when it comes to everybody events like the countdowns is that not everyone will be counting down together. Some will be asleep as the clock rolls over. Others will be too busy with other concerns to actually notice the day ending. In fact, to think of the New Year as a new year seems awfully arbitrary. Firstly, we're going to look at at least 24 different time zones cheering at different times...all celebrating the same symbolic moment. More like a new day, if you ask me.

Secondly, it is indeed a matter of rolling over to a new day...which happens approximately every 24 hours anyway. What makes this one so special? I guess it mostly ends at the symbolism, since the new year's resolutions are rarely if ever really stuck to. It seems more like an excuse to launch burning metal into the air and get on with festivities.

I think besides getting stone drunk on the streets of the big cities, it also helps to keep in mind those who will not be able to celebrate together with everyone else. The destitute, the ill, those who are simply too bothered by life's troubles to enjoy the new year. If anything, this festive season is a great time to start pay it forward movements, and to be charitable. It may not mean much for individuals, but if everyone could get in that spirit the way they do with the festivities, I think it can still make an impact.

Avatar

I watched Avatar today. On one hand I really loved the visuals. It is extraordinary to actually watch a CGI film in 3D, with force feedback seats. That added significantly to the experience. I still wonder at how the latest 3D technology works, with what appears to be polarized glasses instead of the old red-blue variety. Great stuff. Slick action sequences, scenes that could have been straight out of World of Warcraft or some other fantasy-themed RPG...that's the ticket.

Now, the problem I have with the show is that the storyline is tired. Essentially, it's a reskinned Pocahontas meets Last Samurai. Colonial fella meets exotic native tribe, falls in love with exotic native tribeswoman, fights on side of exotic natives, natives win. If anything, the Na'Vi were something of a cross between African tribespeople and Native Americans, what with the attitudes towards the world as sentient (it really was in this case) and mystical rituals looking like they came from a documentary on Africa. And then of course we will have the customary reference to the War on Terror and environmentalism (with humans coming from a "dying world"). In the end, as is expected, the exotic tribespeople get their butts handed to them by modern firepower but win in the end due to a Deus Ex incident. Maybe we're (thankfully) still guilty about what we did with the natives back then.

Did I like the show? Hell yeah. I like great big CGI battles (even more so in 3D with force feedback) and epic duels. Preferably with lots of slaughter. Storyline...well it's tired, but still a goody. Can't say I didn't expect what happened in the end. I think many would see that coming from a mile away. Still, I'd give the movie a 8/10. Mostly from the gorgeous visuals and action sequences.

I could not help but notice that Full Metal Jacket reference, however. Damn do I love a machinegunner that says Git SOME!

Farcry 2

Farcry 2. A shooter game. Yup that's mostly it. Farcry 2 is a shooter game with malaria and some treasure hunting thrown in and a storyline of some sort that is what I'd call shooter porn. Dangerous fella ships weapons around (threat to the World Order), so obviously our brave hero has to get in there and stop the horror. Typical.

Ok what's good. I like the visuals, the feel of driving vehicles, the standard weaponry. I especially like the way explosions finally wipe people out in a respectable radius and are quite proficient at starting fires...which in turn spread all over the place according to the wind. Nifty. Weapons jam and blow up when worn out...not so nifty, but ok it's semi-realistic. I really would have preferred it if the sniper rifles had either variable scopes and/or longer ranges, tho.

Now for the bad. Besides the story, which is as good as nonexistent. We don't care about stories in shooters, silly! Anyway, I am quite annoyed by the whole malaria and enemy spotting spiel. Right so we have the hero down with malaria, which gives periodic debilitating attacks...sometimes in the middle of battle. Fair enough...so we have malaria medicine to deal with the attacks. That's really great, except the meds don't cure the malaria. They treat the symptoms or something, because the malaria intensity level actually varies as the story progresses! Not to mention it's actually possible to run out of malaria meds so you wind up crippled in the middle of nowhere...without even an enemy to take you out.

Now about enemies spotting...you. Enemies have an uncanny ability to spot the hero through foliage. In fact, it is entirely possible for an enemy sniper to peg you right through a tree's foliage when you can't see the enemy if you're looking right back at the time. Come on guys! Dammit, man. I hate getting shot at by an enemy that should not be able to see me!

It may be nice that the world map is reasonably large and has bus interchanges whereby it becomes possible to cross the map without having to drive through the darned thing. Problem being, of course, that since the maps are quite big, there's a goodly bit of driving around to be done anyway. And of course the mission area will be somewhere far from where you are, so...drive away. That would be no problem, except there will be populated guard posts along the way...with a bunch of enemies shooting at you. No...if you depopulate them with a hail of lead, they'll be repopulated eventually. Nasty.

I like shooting enemies. It is fun. Especially with my sniper rifle. But even for me, it gets pretty old after awhile, primarily because I get virtually no kickback for doing it. No special weapons upgrades or items to pick off them or leveling up my hero. Well...I suppose I could just get in a vehicle and zip past so I can get away. Right? Wrong. They'll pop into the tacticals parked in the area...and use the mounted machineguns to shoot, so they'll have to die anyway.

Yes. The answer was staring me in the face. I shall use explosives to take out their vehicle. Well...not exactly. Since they regard their vehicle's machinegun as a sort of melee weapon, they're busy trying to kiss my vehicle's butt even after I get out of mine. Say hello to my grenade launcher! *BOOM* Dammit...now I just blew up my own ride along with theirs. Well I hope you're happy, because now I'm going to have to walk to my mission...or pick up a ride along the way -_-

Indeed, it is entirely possible to have a game with such great physics, gorgeous graphics, large maps, spreadable bushfires and nice numbers of enemies...yet still make it less than fun.

3-Pin Fiasco

I realize I made a silly mistake when buying a multi plug extension. Worst of all, it was discovered way too late for me to really do anything about it. Anyway, the problem was 'coz I didn't know what an adapter-free 2-pin socket looked like! So when I saw that sloping slot for 2 pin plugs, I automatically assumed that they would fit.

Big mistake. The first time I tried to slot the 2 pins in, they got stuck. Ok I guess it's a virgin socket. A bit of action would loosen it up. Nope, no such luck. If anything, they got even MORE stuck. Which was bad.

Anyway, it's lucky that I happened to have a lot of 3 pin adapters left over from my last project, so the situation was salvageable. Just a self note: Don't do that again. -_-

Rapid Cognitions

I just finished reading Gladwell's Blink, and it is a fascinating book indeed. One part mentioned the capability of rapid cognition, and I think it is a rather good insight on why people do the strange things they do. Humans are very capable processors and can produce rapid cognitions at incredible speeds. Examples of rapid cognitions include evaluating whether someone is a threat who is about to attack, and evaluating someone for friendship potential.

However, rapid cognitions can be overridden, as proven by the experiment whereby people seen performing poorly are evaluated as poor performers regardless of their context. This was mentioned in Gladwell's Tipping Point. The combination of the two explains why snap judgements can go so wrong, even when people would not consciously act that way. For example, a person may not be consciously racist, yet still associate racial minorities with crime simply because crimes perpetrated by minorities appear in the papers pretty often. That rapid cognition also proves resistant to facts to the contrary, like statistics that can be completely contrary to those beliefs.

While rapid cognitions are certainly useful in situations where snap decisions are essential, those situations are comparatively rare in urban life (except perhaps in the case of a mugging or potential car accident) and time can in fact be taken to rethink snap decisions. The problem, perhaps, is an inability or unwillingness to consider information to the contrary. Understandably, some may argue that feelings (a part of rapid cognition) are an intrinsic part of being human, and one should not be living like a machine thinking everything rationally over. However, part of the quest to be a fully realized human also involves not blindly following those "feelings" like some dumb animal. Doing so would likely maximize the potential of human cognitions, and prove greatly beneficial when truly integrated into daily life.

Sucker's Market

It seems that small markets lacking depth are often sucker's markets. That is, the prices that are settled on tend to wind up being wildly inconsistent with the evaluations of larger markets. More importantly, it is disturbingly easy to game a low depth market.

Assume that a market has say a trading volume of 5. Of the 5, 2 have anomalous trades that bring the last done average down. With 40% of the market selling at anomalously low prices, other sellers are obliged to follow. Of course, it would be easy to try selling at a higher price and hoping that demand will force others to buy at what's a fair market price. Unfortunately, most will not be thrilled by the prospect of paying more than they have to. Even worse, it is also likely that a low volume market has a small pool of demand, which means hoping and praying will not do a lot of good. More importantly, the trades may be phantom trades, whereby the same trader buys and sells the exact same item on the market. That will significantly change the perceptions of other potential suckers who actually check the history of the small market. The converse can apply, where buyers (who usually urgently need the item) can be convinced that prices have gone up.

Conversely, that is a lot harder to pull off on a larger market. Someone trying to do the same thing would require immense resources. Even if they made their gains, the high volumes traded will quickly equalize the anomaly. Of course, due to market imperfections, it is also possible for anomalous trades and unusual averages. Yet, a larger market is more able to compensate for such issues compared to a small one.

Tipping Point

While I was reading Gladwell's Tipping Point, I considered the tipping point of a country's population level. Granted, short of the four horsemen, human populations do not generally plummet when past a tipping point. However, it is possible for a population to tip from growth into decline given certain factors.

Some countries have low fertility rates, and consequently an ageing population. Of course, this is an undesirable situation in terms of productivity, as the country's productivity declines as well. I believe the factors involved in aiding the tipping point along include high cost of living and high consumer demand.

In a scenario where the cost of housing is astronomical, as is private transport and that of bringing up children, the power of context drives people towards focusing more and more on productivity. This productivity is not aimed directly at acquiring luxuries, but in the basic things that are family life. This alone is not sufficient to tip the balance, as the incomes of most families can at least support housing and children.

However, when advertising and keeping up with the Joneses are thrown into the fray, the balance begins to shift. By desiring more than the basics of life, and even the drive to acquire luxuries that one would not otherwise need (that's just for keeping up with others), an average household's income simply cannot keep up with the demands. One of the many things that result is debt. In effect, earners become unable to build up savings for their retirement. More importantly, there is less of an income surplus to support children while maintaining a good quality of life. As a result, birth rate declines when parents decide they can afford one child at best.

A country that seeks to dig itself out of that rut would be rather unfortunate in assuming that the simple encouragement of people to have more children would work in isolation. That does not address the root of the issue. Unfortunately, tt is also incredibly difficult to lower the cost of living, though that would very likely help the birth rates. Moreover, it would be economically detrimental to actually lower consumer demand. Ironically, the best solution appears to involve allowing the population to decline. This may sound odd, but it seems that economies in countries can only comfortably support a fixed number of people before the balance becomes tenuous. After which, not only does the birth rate decline, it also becomes hard to attract foreigners to actually live where the basic costs of living are astronomical.

Gaming Motivations

I have wondered for some time why some gamers are quite disinclined towards playing certain titles, especially if the titles are difficult. After all, it does seem like a joy to beat the levels. Is that not fun? Is fun not the primary objective of gaming?

Apparently, fun is indeed the primary objective. However, the fun experience is achieved differently depending on the gamer. For example, my idea of fun is beating the level, so it matters little if the levels themselves have limited fun value: I'll experience enjoyment if I manage to conquer it. However,the process of beating the level may not be fun at all. In fact, it could be downright frustrating or just too hard. That is not a deterrent for me, however.

Yet, it is quite apparent that the experience of the level is of utmost importance to many gamers. In fact, beating the level can become quite irrelevant once they decide that the process was not enjoyable at all.

MyBook Mirror

It is strangely satisfying, to have a new harddisk. Actually, to be precise, I just got a new pair of external harddisks. I grabbed the Western Digital MyBook Mirror Edition. That unit is basically a pair of 1tb internal harddisks in an external enclosure, set to either RAID 1 or 0. Yes. That's 1 terabyte, or rather a pair of 1tb harddisks mirrored, to become a single 1tb backup unit. I recall having a 340mb harddisk not too long ago, so I think while 1tb looks huge now, it'll look quite puny in the years to come.

The primary purpose of an external unit is both to replace the harddisk that recently went bad, and to serve as a comparatively rarely accessed backup unit. To serve that purpose, it has to be quite steady. So when I spotted this RAID-ready external unit going at a good price, I was intrigued. While RAID 1 has a danger of faithfully reproducing errors across both harddisks, its perfect mirroring also means that if harddisk A dies, B will be able to take up the slack without killing off any of my stuff. That means my research and photos will be quite safe for now.

The darned thing's a brick, though it's delightfully black has an endearing blue light that matches the LEDs on my casing. Nothing much to say about it, except it's significantly slower than a pair of harddisks fitted internally. In fact, the ironic thing is that these two harddisks and the casing actually cost me less than purchasing two individual 1tb harddisks. Perhaps I will eventually figure that I'd pluck them out of the casing and fit them in my desktop. But for now, I do want external storage, so these will have to do.

Outliers

I'm currently reading Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers. It is quite a fascinating book, which integrates some sociological theories to explain the structure of exceptional success. While I do not wholeheartedly support the premises of the hypotheses and question the generalizability of the data used to back the conclusions, I think it still does make for interesting reading and new perspectives on the social phenomena surrounding success.

I am particularly interested in what can change one's trajectory in society, and nudge people towards or away from success. Of the reasons, it does seem that the offspring of rich folk do have particular benefits, and that is an interesting but unhelpful observation: Not everyone is able to choose their backgrounds. However, it does seem that success is not just a matter of luck, but also of smarts. Terman's research on high IQ children and their development amply proved that high-IQ individuals are not necessarily able to become greats simply on the merits of their intelligence. There was a limit to how vanilla intelligence can push one upwards.

The other ingredient appears to be practical intelligence, or EQ or cultural savvy, or however one may want to call this other sort of intelligence. That is, the sense of entitlement which drives people towards desiring greater heights, and having the people skills to make that aspiration a reality. In fact, to some extent, EQ seems an adequate substitute for intelligence, given that one can simply persuade others to share the observations that the person is unable to come up with.

EQ is something that is usually not taught in school, and would actually be quite useful in the curriculum. However, a person who is all EQ and no IQ would not go far either, given that he/she is probably not going to be intelligent enough to spot opportunities as they arise. It seems that ultimately one just needs good-enough levels of both, as a foundation for the pursuit of success.

Besides the concept of success, the book also talked about culture. I think the idea of tolerance for ambiguity and Hofstede's Power Distance Index tie in nicely with the idea of strokes as the currency in Transactional Analysis. In fact, I believe it may be possible that the ambiguity tolerance and PDI serve as the score modifiers for stroke quotas. It can be expected that a society with high ambiguity tolerance will also have a low tolerance for overt actions. That means that positive strokes are not to be delivered in straightforward ways. This may mean larger numbers of subtle positive strokes. As for high PDI societies, stroke quotas are very likely much higher for superiors than in lower PDI societies. This represents a positive modifier.

The correct calibration of strokes can be one way to support people skills, or EQ. However, EQ itself is probably not taught because many of its precepts are quite tacit, and may not even be consciously learned. For example, knowing when to pull back in a conversation is often attributed to a "feeling", but is in reality a complex computation integrating observations of the other person's reactions. In all, I would say that a good way to calibrate strokes is simply through trial and error. When one pushes too far, one is likely to observe negative reactions from others. As these mental notes build up, one's calibration progressively improves.

This would evoke Gladwell's assertion of the 10'000 hour rule, whereby one becomes highly proficient at a skill after approximately 10'000 hours of farming skill points. It therefore stands to reason that simple social contact and attention can hone EQ just like that. It also explains why the social outcast types still have problems dealing with other people: the calibration is imperfect. This creates a vicious cycle that encourages avoidance of others, and preventing improvements in the calibration. Once that is achieved, along with the other factors mentioned and those that appear in Gladwell's book, one may finally have the actual formula for success. The caveat, of course, is that knowing the path to success does not imply an ability to achieve it.

Money Or Principle?

I got into a right interesting mess today. It's one of the messes that is typical of what I tend to do when half asleep: violate my own rules. Now, this was a matter of an item I had for sale, and I got some offers. Generally, I do not close a deal ASAP, because I should logically wait for a reasonable number of offers to come in before obliging myself to anyone. That is the logical thing to do, which I did not do, while muddled with sleepiness. It's a bit like being drunk, and this is what happened...

Person A contacts me with a low bid. Naturally, I am unhappy. Person B contacts me with an identical bid, but I thought he was person A because I was going by phone numbers and assumed they were the same due to identical amounts. A tells me that my pricing is bad because the general prices are lower. With this new information (it's true, BTW), I figure that person A's offer is fair. So I tell B that we've got a deal. We should meet up to trade sometime.

Of course, being half asleep, I wasn't really thinking straight at the time. I agreed to a price that was lower than I wanted to agree to. The correct (and usual) response I should have given was that I would think it over, instead of saying Yes. I figured that it was a screwy deal, so I asked my friend, who again offered me the exact same price. Now, between a friend and a stranger offering identical prices, I chose my friend. So now there are 3 people I basically obligated myself to. A and B (whom I mistakenly thought were the same person) and my friend. At this point, I realized A and B were different people, so I had to say no to B, because A agreed first and thus was taking priority over B. B wasn't very happy at this development.

C calls in with a higher bid than all 3. In my stupidity, I told my friend that the bid was higher, and asked him if he would reconsider the agreement. Of course, since he wanted the item, my friend relented. I had to turn down A, B and C as a result. Now I am in the unenviable position of basically flip flopping on a deal with my friend, and having to turn people down. Of the 3, B was still unhappy, and was very eager to close the deal, apparently at a higher price point than any of the whole bunch.

In the end, I figured that I had to turn B down no matter what, to avoid further flip flopping. Now the situation became an ethical dilemma: Would I stick to the newly negotiated higher price with my friend, or go for the financial gain and press my friend for it? After much consideration, I figured that the right thing to do would be to suck it up and deal with my friend at the initially agreed upon price (a deal's a deal).

The evaluation was pretty complex, for a simple situation stupidly turned complicated. In reality, the sum of money was small, and I did not actually need the difference. It was a matter of principle that I tried to maintain as high a profit margin as possible. The root of the matter was that I violated my usual rule not to agree to any deal too early, which was done in a moment of muddle-headedness.

Why would I have chosen to deal with my friend at the low price, despite having semi-closed deals with 3 other strangers? This is not necessarily a logical decision, given that I am sticking with my friend because he's a friend. That is, he would potentially provide more benefits in the future as a friend by preserving the relationship through the relatively charitable gesture. However, it is also possible that the first person I agreed to could also provide me similar benefits in the future. More importantly, a friendship may not turn to enmity over such a minor infraction, but it may become so with a stranger who has no vested interest in me. Also, I have no real guarantee that my friend would actually repay the gesture in kind at any point in the forseeable future. In the absence of more data, I had to settle with the friend, though it really was more of a leap of faith.

In sum, the wise thing to do would simply be to stick to my own rules, and deal with matters on my own terms. That means not settling on deals when I do not have to, and especially not when I am sleepy and prone to stupid mistakes. It is strange just how many times I violated my own rules to poor effect, but I do it anyway. When they say go with the gut, it's really a good thing to do. Bleh.

Another Harddisk Failure

It seems like another of my harddisks is on the brink of failure. This time, it is the Western Digital that I am using to archive my stuff. Fortunately, the critical stuff like photos are being redundantly backed up, so the losses there are minimal. Even now, the critical parts of the archive are being moved away before the harddisk dies for good.

Of course, this does make me wonder. I do believe that it is a good idea to redundantly back everything up, preferably on a harddisk. While it will undoubtedly fail as 4 of my own have so far, doing so affords a rather more convenient option than a stack of CDs, which will have to be slotted in one after another just to verify data integrity. However, I do wonder at the interestingly high rate of hardware failure. 4 harddisks seems like a rather low MTBF, though of course it can be attributed to the possibility that I use my computer rather more than many other people.

For future reference, my current method to back up the folders quickly while the harddisk is dying is to manually move all folders over one by one. This creates an individual copy dialog. Since it is expected that most if not all folders have some sort of major malfunction, the errors will be isolated to the folder's dialog instead of stopping the entire copy process. Granted, this method is still fairly destructive given that the harddisk is failing, and I expect that the reliability will be compromised later in the process. Thus, I proceed to copy the most critical elements first, and the less important ones later. In the event of truly critical data, it would probably be wiser to approach a data recovery specialist, but given the casual nature of my storage that is quite unnecessary.

Right now I feel somewhat fortunate that a computer fair is coming to town, and that will likely allow me to purchase replacement storage at a discount. The next decision is whether I should go RAID this time, or continue with manual backups. The problem with RAID is that if there were an error in copying somehow, it is not unreasonable to expect that the error be faithfully reproduced depending on the RAID array used. This will be something that I have to carefully consider for my next backup choice. Ah, well.

On a side note, the headphone port on my speakers appears to be dying as well. Only the bass notes play through it now, necessitating that I plug my phones directly into a splitter, instead of using that oh so nice extension. Now...are my speakers still under warranty...? Given the high failure rate, I do usually get my money's worth on warranties.

2012: How Not To End The World

I just watched 2012, and for once, I am going to be harsh on it. Granted, I was into it primarily for the special effects, which it was full of. Very nice. I love watching cities crumble to dust amidst frantic air-dodging action. Loads of plus points for that one.

However, I expected a lot more from an end-of-world movie. I am willing to overlook glaring omissions like the inevitable nuclear winter from a global seismic catastrophe so severe that it results in extreme tectonic plate shifts and global volcanic activity. The very least I expect is either the utter destruction of the earth, for example getting earth hurled into the sun or a black hole, or at least the complete elimination of all humans. That is the end of the world as I understand it...and clearly the movie did not deliver.

Now, I know there are many ways to survive global flooding. Especially one from crazy tsunamis when the earth's crust somehow manages to rupture enough to start flooding Mt. Everest. If the director and co really wanted to be implausible, the least they could do is come up with space evacuation and perhaps space living till the volcanic activities settled down. In fact, it would've totally beaten the idea of having modern Noah's ark style ships saving a few hundred thousand of the humans. Seriously...that the best you could do? Super ships built near Tibet using untold amounts of money? Everyone could have probably gotten by on bark boats and bamboo rafts while they're at it.

Of course, once again, it seems like everyone forgot about Africa. If the whole continent managed to be pushed up as high as they said in the movie, I would think that a whole lot of humans survived there. In fact, that would make Africa the richest continent in the entire world. Strangely enough, nobody seemed to notice or bother to check. Nor the rest of the USA that probably survived, and the rest of the world for that matter.

Ok the list goes on, but I guess a rant has to stop somewhere. I'd say this movie gets a fail grade. 4/10. Most of the points came from the nifty special effects. The rest of it was end of world trash.

Fear Factor

I was reading this article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20091117/hl_hsn/fearless3yearoldsmightbetomorrowscriminals

It was about the correlation between a weakly inculcated fear response and the tendency towards criminal activities. That is, people with feeble fear responses were more likely to commit crimes later in life. Whenever I read this kinda stuff, I cannot help but feel that it is fishy. For one, causality is most certainly rather hard to establish in research on social phenomena.

Moreover, this is simply about fear and crime. It seems to neglect the other possible benefits of having poor fear responses, such as being able to overcome apprehension and thus exploiting opportunities that others deem overly intimidating. It can also mean the difference between freezing up and getting killed, and surviving a crisis.

I really do think it absurd that it is implied that fear is somehow key to a lawful society, and that it is desirable. Fear in reasonable amounts will indeed keep people in line and lead to a reasonably harmonious coexistence. However, excessive fear will lead to a timid and cowed populace that is easily manipulated by the strong. I do not think that desirable at all.

Video Ads

It seems that massification is the current trend of media. Early visual media involved the leisurely painted paintings, which were added to by early photographic technologies, then digital photography. In fact, every mother's child seems to have a digital camera nowadays. As Walther Benjamin said, massification can lead to an erosion of the aura of a work of art. Where a carefully crafted photograph or painting has a powerful aura, upon reproduction, such works become increasingly blase.

Now, with beautiful pictures spewed everywhere, it is really unsurprising that people begin to seek out other media or different applications of the same media. Simply put, everyone is becoming desensitized. Even stock photos are marketed on microstock for a pittance. Some are even giving their works away for free, or simply in return for crediting.

Given the evolution of digital cameras, the movie mode is now becoming increasingly prevalent. It has in effect made high quality video recordings (that is, large sensor recordings) more accessible to the masses. While purists today say that ads will always be still images, one need only recall the comparative accessibility of the early daguerrotypes to figure that it is reasonable to anticipate the superseding of still imagery ads with moving images. And I do not mean on television, but also on the billboards out there, along with the large poster ads. 10 years? 20? Its time will come, and like the way digital took film over as the primary medium, I will not be surprised if videos took over still ads over time.

Terrorists Win

When I look back on how countries used to be before the days of the War On Terror catchphrase, I cannot help but feel that the terrorists have won. This may sound odd, since it is clear that massive military forces are being amassed in distant lands like Iraq and Afghanistan, thoroughly rooting out any "terrorists" they might find.

However, one needs to recall what some said about terrorists nearly a decade back, that they were enemies of freedom. Well, Sherlock, it would seem to me that they had won already, then. Where the risks of terrorist incidents are likely no higher than before (those guys aren't gona take breaks or swing into action just 'coz we declared a war on them), there have been significant curtailments of freedom throughout the world in the spirit of preventing future terrorist incidents. The "prevention" part is dubious, in my opinion, given the huge numbers of security cameras everywhere. It seems improbable to impossible that their footage is being actively monitored. Likewise for internet controls and other forms of surveillance.

Even if they were, while the bad eggs are being watched, common folk are being surveilled as well. Worse yet, the jumpiness induced causes regular folk to become wary of others, especially if they act strangely or even take a common photo in certain areas now deemed sensitive. Granted, there is no definitive way to prove successful prevention, but it is most certainly clear that many freedoms are being taken away in the name of security. More alarmingly, those freedoms may never be returned, since it is sensible that we remain vigilant at all times as terrorism is a problem that is here to stay. Even as guns blaze and bombs go off all over the place, I'd say that the terrorists can pet themselves on their backs for curtailing freedom the world over. You've won, guys. Be happy.

On Killing

I was told about a cat that got smooshed after someone hurled it off a building. That smarts, to be sure. I hate the idea of senseless killing. Especially of a creature that very likely did no harm to the perpetrator. Such a killing reeks of vicious premeditation, for it most certainly took some time for the person to take the cat up, then toss it out.

I would love to say that it is the symptom of a sick society that breeds such people. A society where people feel the need to hurt and main other creatures, humans included. But that would likely be untrue. Where there are truly bad eggs out there, there will also be good people.

When I think back about my past, I guess I would say that I could relate to the killer back then. There is a certain excitement to the idea of killing. What would it be like? How do living things look when the life fades from their eyes? In a controlled, urban society, there are many imposed inhibitions on behavior. And there is always that lingering What If? It is, perhaps as some put it, the thrill of the hunt.

But now I guess I think differently. I have explored many strange avenues and tried out unusual things. I had my thrills wiping out entire ant colonies and popping the denizens one by one with a magnifying glass and the power of the sun. I saw roadkill and a cat that was run over and dying in front of me. I saw death, and it was beautiful. There was immense suffering, and then a moment of peace. That was enough. But ultimately, I figured that killing senselessly was just plain wrong. In killing, there is cruelty. Living creatures have a right to live. While there are times when a killing may be justified, I no longer think it right to slaughter a creature just to see what would happen.

Satan Worshippers?

Going to church is always a disturbing event for me. I see and hear things that greatly worry me. While singing hymns, I listened to the lyrics, and the connection was just downright alarming.

Now, it is commonly said that the Satan's other titles are light-bringer and morning star. Then I heard in the hymn's lyrics about praises sung to the morning star, which of course meant Jesus. Disturbing, but perhaps somewhat spurious. Perhaps it was a coincidence.

Then I recall the sacrament of the communion. Hmm...oddly enough, it involved the consumption of human flesh and blood. That was pretty alarming, because I remember Satan worshippers accused of doing the exact same things. Human sacrifice and cannibalism. Truly disturbing. But the plot thickens...

And here's the clincher: Most are familiar with the great rebellion in Christian mythology, whereby there was a rebellion by the angels and a whole bunch were thrown down. Now, when we think about worshipping a divine being-turned-human that is called the morning star and encourages people to eat human flesh and drink blood, that begins to sound suspiciously like a fallen angel.

It worries me, and really...I get pretty disturbed when I go to church at times. That is why I really would rather read my bible quietly during sermons. I feel safer that way.

No Country For Old Men

I love both the novel and the faithful film adaptation of No Country For Old Men. On the surface (and a number of my friends seem unable to get beyond that surface), it's a brutal film about a ruthless, heartless assassin who goes after a guy who stumbles upon a great big bag of drug money. The sheriff goes after that assassin, even as the drug dealers and assassin go after poor Llewelyn Moss. Of course, since just about everyone who's intended to watch/read this story already have, I'll just spoil the story: Llewelyn dies in the end, and the assassin gets away. There. I did it.

Now, I find the story is really quite a tragic commentary about our times. It seems easy to think of Llewelyn as the somewhat dishonest but otherwise innocent common folk, the sheriff Ed Tom as the good guy and Anton Chigurh the assassin as the baddie. However, of all the characters, I find Chigurh the most fascinating. He is not so much evil, as he is purely rule-driven. Ed Tom is the helpless old timer who reminisces of the good old days, but ultimately he's a broken man who cannot face up to the realities of a society going morally downhill. Llewelyn is just really quite a sideshow in that he just wants to get away with his money, and is ruthless in his own selfish money-loving ways.

While Ed Tom laments how things have turned ugly and simply gives up pursuing Chigurh in the end because he realizes that he's facing a force he simply could not defeat, Chigurh holds strong to his rules all the way to the end. Chigurh operates in a simple logic: He gets the job done. To get the job done, he kills anyone who gets in the way of his job. However, sometimes some people are in the way, but may or may not adversely affect the execution of the task, so Chigurh may or may not kill those people. To decide that, he does one of two things: flip a coin, or if he's sure the person will keep quiet, have the person swear to silence.

I think it is easy to assume that Chigurh is evil precisely because he's such a rule follower. Yet there seems to be little malice in what he does. He does not kill someone just because they're annoying (there's one lady in the story who was, but he did not kill her because she was not a significant impediment and because it was more trouble than she's worth). He does not kill out of hatred (Llewelyn threatens Chigurh at one point). I think he is disturbing and labeled evil simply because he has no emotional investment whatsoever in that killing. In a way, perhaps, he is something like Spock. And perhaps people have really hard times with characters like that: they are...alien.

A Strong Military

The mighty military is a critical factor to deal with global warming. As we all know, global warming is a horrible, horrible problem. The global temperatures rise, making everyone feel mighty uncomfortable, and killing some people and plants and animals while it's at it. The polar ice caps will melt, causing the sea levels to rise. The rising sea levels will cause available land to shrink, and flood many food producing fields into oblivion. There will be famine, population pressures and yes...war. Not to mention irreversible climate change.

Now, let us avoid this really nasty scenario. Everyone shall now cut production, stop making new babies and really...just consume less in general. Maybe that will help with the carbon emissions, other greenhouse gases and perhaps stop global warming. Maybe. Or maybe not. But either way, nobody seems very happy about doing all that on a maybe. What they do know is that the world's heating up and they don't wana lose out to everyone else.

The good news is that the earth finds its own equilibrium at one point or another. The bad news is that humanity may be badly screwed as a result. But that's ok, because the earth will be fine. So now we know that we're on a nice merry one way trip to warfare hell, and we need to be ready. We need stronger militaries. The mightier the better. Why, some may ask? Before shooting them, inform them that that's exactly how we're gona take the land from them so they die but we survive. Might. Makes. Right. Man I love equilibrium.

Those Precious Shrew Dodgers

I love watching the reactions of humans. Especially around rodents. The reaction is fascinating precisely because of the aversion showed despite the patent harmlessness of the said creature. It's small, fuzzy and...probably spreads disease. No more than any other mammal might however, so that's probably not a defining rodent trait.

Now, when I was on my way home with my mom, we noticed a dead shrew in the middle of a walkway. Someone probably stepped on it and killed it on the spot. Poor creature. Nonetheless, I figured it would be an interesting opportunity in observing human reactions, so I had mom stand around to watch the reactions of others when they saw the poor creature.

A pair of schoolgirls approached and noticed the shrew. They paused. After chittering somewhat in alarm, they mutually decided to gingerly tiptoe past on the extreme edges of the pavement so as to maintain maximum distance from the rodent.

Another girl came by, noticed the shrew, then promptly switched to a different path to go where she intended.

Yet another noticed the body, then walked past it as if nothing happened. Pure win!

The Earth Was Cold

Sometimes we ponder weighty things. Things like…what’s the meaning of life? Why are we here? I would propose that life simply had no meaning, and that it was quite the accident, but that’s not gona sit well with too many people. So let’s consider an alternative: The earth created humans.

Yup. Great, guys. You now have a purpose. You were created…and life now has meaning. What meaning might that be, you ask? The earth was cold. Goodness…what a silly sort of reason, many might think. But one also needs to be humble and remember that one cannot comprehend the infinite wisdom of the earth. The earth had darned good reasons for doing what it did.

The evidence is clear. The earth is cold and was cold. There are polar ice caps, and there was an ice age sometime in the past. Cold cold cold. Then the earth decided to create humans. Humans help by inducing global warming, though they are thoroughly convinced they’re living their “lives”, whatever that might mean. Obviously, the humans have managed to fulfill their purpose. Why? Well…they’re still alive, are they not? The earth would have wiped them out ages ago if that were not the case.

There we have it. Purpose for living. And faith that one day, global warming will kill all humans, or the earth will. It all works out. And don’t worry…the world will do just fine without all the pesky humans on it.

Inglourious Basterds

What can I say. This show is a Tarantino, with all that entails. Violence, black humor, inappropriately humorous moments, loads of graphic gore. The usual fare. While some will beg differ about this show because of its lack of moral depth, not being Jewish enough, etc etc, I am weighing this show on its entertainment value. And that value, in my opinion, is exceptionally high.

I dare say that Hans Landa totally stole the show for this one. Arguably, he's The Bastard, while everyone else are mere Basterds. There is something to a highly refined, sharp, witty and downright cruel Nazi who really is nowhere near as crude as the good ole Basterds. Of course, there is always something to a bunch of soldiers going around terrorizing poor ground pounders with reputations like...The Bear Jew.

For once, this show is not one that has its moments. The show is one long long 2 1/2h moment. In a good way. I especially liked Shosanna, that gorgeous lady with an iron will. There was a scene in the show featuring her, that seemed like something torn straight out of a noir film. A well-executed one, at that.

Heck, even the swastika-carving trope was pretty much as good as the Joker's face scar gag back in Batman. Truly, this is a memorable show, though the ending is perhaps quite surprising for those familiar with history. Of course, we did not quite come to watch a documentary. Nonetheless, the show gets a nice solid 9/10 from me.

STALKER: Clear Sky

Once in a while it's entirely possible to encounter a game that looks great in the early stages, and quickly turns out to be one that's been rushed to market from midgame onwards. Clear Sky is one such game.

At first glance, it is a truly atmospheric game. A total graphical revamp over its predecessor. The graphics are stunning, the levels and familiar areas simply look better than they used to, and hell...they even threw in the really nice idea of lethal Zone energy emissions, which one needs to dodge in order to stay alive. Now that is how (sucky) life in the Zone really ought to be.

Then comes the minor niggles. Bullet ballistics seem just wrong...the guns are somewhat underpowered. Then it turns out you can quicksave while nowhere near a safe area while an emission is coming, theoretically preventing game progress as you load a game moments before the emission kills you. Better yet, you're the only one hiding, because for some reason every other soldier can ignore the darned things. Oh, and did I mention that the safe zone could (unfortunately) be in the middle of an enemy base? Well...if the emission doesn't get you, the enemies probably would. Blagh.

Right, then comes the ending. The levels towards the end become somewhat...troublesome. Few stores are available for resupply and dumping off looted equipment. Your armor's probably torn to shreds at this point, and it's really a pain to get back to some base a few maps away. Then comes the clincher: The finale is one long and meaningless firefight.

Now, I am generally pretty happy with firefights. They're pretty exciting on average and can be quite fun. It just gets old when it becomes a series of clear the area of enemies, followed by clear the area of enemies, followed by clear the area of enemies, then we give you new gun and ammo, so shoot the final dude!

That one really sucked. For one, there's a carrying weight limit in the game. I don't know why I suddenly have a really nifty gun and ammo, but then 'coz of the weight limit...I can't actually move. Better yet, enemies are happily shooting at me. That sucks. Well...since everyone's shooting at me...who am I supposed to kill, again? Unlike the first STALKER, this one really really took the fun out of the ending. No alternative endings, nobody's really sure why I gota take the guy out, and it really took me a while to figure what I was supposed to do with the sucker. Way to kill a game that had so much potential. They should outlaw games rushed to market. :s

A Great Day

Today will go down in Fenrisian history as a great day. One of the great days amongst great days, but a great day nonetheless. As is traditional, every other less great day of great days will be less desirable than this one, so I can safely bet that someday will not be quite as great and thus perpetuate the myth of...well...jinxing when talking about great days.

But that is irrelevant. I must first record what greatness happened on this great day of greatness. First, and most important to me, I bought a flash unit. Not just any flash unit. The high end wireless capable version that I've been drooling over. Now, being the stereotypical student photographer wanabe on a budget, I really couldn't go right out there and buy the danged thing. Simply beyond my means. So I settled for second best: A secondhand flash, only that it's the wireless-incapable version of it. But when I met the seller...it turns out he only had the higher end one. The mind boggled. How much? Only a bit more. SOLD! And now, by sheer accident...here the flash is. It is...beautiful.

The second is comparatively minor, but no less important. My thesis research has finally been approved. That means I can finally get to work on the data collection process, though at this point my data collection's already complete. Oh wait. Well, at least they did approve the latest version of my questionnaire, which I slipped to them. Ok I did not just say that. I totally played by the book, for it is the Fenrisian way.

Right, then. And then my friend's package arrived. At least a notice of the package. I'm not sure what it is, so I'll reserve irrationally intense joy for that fine moment tomorrow.

Unlife...is...good...

Final Fantasy Tactics A2

I was playing Final Fantasy Tactics A2 on my DS for a couple days, and I think I know what it is that really irks me about the game: Lose conditions (laws) that are not directly controlled by the player. FFTA2 has an interesting gameplay system carrying over from the previous version. In a battle, players are required to adhere to certain "laws", which may be something like...you can't use fire, lightning or ice weapons/spells in the battle.

At first glance, FFTA2 improved on the previous game with the graphics, and from making the game more forgiving when you break those laws. That is, until I realized that they added new laws in. It's understandable that the laws can force you into a certain style of gameplay (that's where Tactics come in: reconfiguring your characters) but some laws are just stupid.

For example, there is a law against targeting distant units. Well that's easy. I'll simply not equip ranged weapons and refrain from casting spells. Or at least doing so while directly adjacent to an enemy. Until you realize that a critical hit knocks an enemy back by one cell, so you're counted to have targeted a distant unit simply by having a random critical (a good thing, usually). Ok that's annoying enough. Then you realize that some enemies can confuse or charm your characters, causing them to act randomly or otherwise attack your own characters. That means that Mage over there will likely cast Fire on one of your own guys, while standing far away. Oops...that means the law's broken, too. There's another law that's like this: No knockback. Same drill with the criticals.

I think these design hiccups are quite sufficient to destroy the enjoyment of an otherwise really polished game. I love the new graphics, the transition between lands is smoother and basically everything else is really nicer than the older version. Something to take note of, I guess, as the recurring problem of the laws can really ruin one's day.

Taking Woodstock

I got to watch Taking Woodstock today! Granted, I do not believe it to be at all a realistic depiction of the attitudes of the times, but it was a jolly good effort at providing an idealized interpretation of the legendary music festival.

I know that some critics have complained that the movie was unrealistic, boring at parts and totally missed out on the music part of the music festival. I do agree with that, but I am more inclined to evaluate the movie on the fact that it's intended as a comedy. I think the movie's got a little of everything to represent the key events happening around the time.

I did find it funny in parts, hilarious in others and just plain confusing in many bits. But I felt the confusion actually added to the believability of a massive music festival being pulled together in dribs and drabs. It also felt like a coming of age story, whereby the protagonist discovered who he really was and struck out to finally live his own life. No more mama's boy there. A touching thing, really.

Hmm...was it realistic? Having a transvestite (or was it transsexual?) being so easily accepted by everyone, and a bit of nice openly gay kissing being taken in stride? Probably not even at Woodstock. A Jew being quite openly gay and eating "extra" bacon on his "usual"? Not terribly likely. A home boy taking his first hit of drugs? Not a very good influence either, though I doubt this movie's for the kids. The token 'Nam and Korea vets? I think those who watched will know precisely what they feel about those characters.

Overall, besides the really awesome depiction of the festival itself (in overview) and that iconic muddy hill, I'd say the movie has just what the people need: A myth. A myth that depicts a golden era that never was, but that can serve as an ideal of tolerance that we can all work towards. Ok probably not the orgies and drugs. heh. Or maybe. I don't know.

I'd say...7.5/10? It's not a great movie, but then I'd say it's worth watching if you like this kinda thing.

DIY Light Tent

I was reading up on creating that awesome sauce DIY light tent from the strobist site (http://www.strobist.blogspot.com/2006/07/how-to-diy-10-macro-photo-studio.html), then built one myself. Used correctly, it has some truly sweet results:
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a335/Meredith_Nichols/E3/50/Old%20tech%20shoot/P9278018.jpg
Unfortunately, it does have some drawbacks when shooting shiny stuff. For example, the sides and the top may be reflected in the objects. One option is to simply change the angle of the objects to avoid the reflections. However, that may limit the angles possible for the shoot.

To solve that, selectively blocking off the windows may help. Another option is to move the light source to de-emphasize the reflections. Of course, the perfect world solution is to simply get a light tent equivalent without the cardboard that comes with the territory.

I was reading a book on constructing DIY photographic equipment and it seems that the fiberglass rods used to make kites is remarkably good when coupled with the light diffusing material. Of course, I currently have no access to that material, and am a bit skeptical about just how budget the rods might be...

Digital Nostalgia

To date, digital is where the cutting edge is. Everything modern is often electronic in some way, using digital technology. I was wondering what nostalgia would be like in the days when digital has become a relic of the past, and this is how it could be:

You know, I long for the days when digital photography was in vogue. I mean, nowadays, the bio-uplink images can be so true to life and be exactly like looking through someone else's eyes, but the images lack that unnatural punch, that oversaturation that the old digital cameras could make. I like the feel of the shutter button, the sheer detail in the images back then. Of course, nowadays everyone's into the modern stuff that's so much easier to share with others, without having to go through a cumbersome computer. It's such a pity, because they could've improved digital into subatomic proportions and aren't limited by retina upgrades.

Things are gone now, like the experiencing of loading and unloading memory cards, taking care not to crack them or lose them, then taking the trouble to power up the ancient computers of the early 2000's and hope that the buggy program would actually work. Heck, bio-uplink imagery nowadays just does not have the personal feel that old digital had. So nowadays, I occasionally pick up a digital body to take those timeless shots that nobody else ever makes nowadays.

Dreadful Valuations

I think some of us will have reached a consensus by now that the labour market is oddly and dreadfully valued. By that I mean that human labour is being compensated by a formula that is completely divorced from their value as factors of production.

I was shocked and horrified when I was at a panel of employers, who were talking about people who were perfectly willing to work for NO pay. That is, yup that's right...work for free. To give the prospective employees the benefit of the doubt, I'm assuming that they are serious about working.

What did not make sense was that the employers said they would hire the "free" fellas above and beyond the ones who would rather do the job but want pay for it. It would've been perfectly fine if the employers would hire those guys for no pay, but they did actually assign them salaries.

It seems that there is a huge discrepancy in valuations here. Either the employees are grossly undervaluing themselves (because they think they're worth nothing either from being utterly unproductive or having no self-worth whatsoever), or the employers are grossly overpaying the employees (an employee who costs nothing to hire should by definition do no work). Maybe it's both, or the employees are simply liars. I don't know.

I do understand the concept of passion and dedication, and that hobbyists have been doing what is potentially commercially viable work for essentially nothing. What I do not understand is how it's possible or even believable that the hobbyist attitude can survive in the commercial capitalist environment. If the employees are truly earnest about that, they're really just gona open themselves up to exploitation on all fronts.

Answers Of Our Times

I was reading with interest the scientists' hypothesis as to how Mars became a red planet. The experiments they performed to replicate what was observed in nature struck me as quite similar to what a soothsayer might have done in the past: Replicate a natural phenomenon and provide the answer to a relatively un-learned audience.

True, true, science nowadays is backed up with replicable experiments and tested theories, but come to think of it, so did soothsayers in their day. If the bones of prophecy did not fall right, or the crops failed, a soothsayer might attribute it to the whims of the fickle gods. Not quite something that can be directly proven by the audience. As for the more sophisticated experiments of the scientists, well, the average person probably does not have the equipment to replicate it either.

I suppose people will always want answers, preferably from authorities on the matter. I do wonder what things will be like in the distant future (assuming humanity is not wiped out by one catastrophe or another), what the scientists would think of our (comparatively) primitive methods of discovery and perhaps even marvel at the lost secrets of our craft when they discover some of our creations that they can no longer replicate.

Home Studio

I was watching some videos on studio lighting, and I noticed that the softboxes had an interesting feature: They were loaded with compact fluorescents. This was an interesting discovery, since I expected tungstens and perhaps some other fancy exotic bulb inside. CFLs I can obtain for myself. That's when I figured that it would be a good idea to get out there and try to create my own budget studio rig.

Undoubtedly, standard studio equipment costs a bomb and the high powered stuff does indeed use exotic incandescents and strobes. But then light is light, and properly managed it can produce pretty much similar results as formal studio equipment. There's a difference, of course, since I'm just learning about lighting, and can take my time about things, while studios need everything snap snap.

Anyway, I got myself a bunch of really cheap wired bulb holders that came with oversized clips. A true godsend, since they were ready to clip to my tripods just like that. So my tripods made pretty convenient light stands to hold my new CFL lamps. The current problem is that I've only got bare bulbs, and really could do with some reflectors.

The next thing I did was to get a reflector and gobo, which ultimately took the form of a shower curtain and silver foil. I suppose it may even be possible to get silver foil trays for use as reflectors of my own bare bulbs. And then I got a black mounting board to put the items on for shooting.

Overall I think the setup's fine for now, but really, I need to brush up on my skillz. That's the ticket. Thankfully, the whole setup cost me less than $50 in marginal cost, which is way less than I'd have to pay for a single decent flash unit.

Meaning In Work

I think I've written about this before, but I'll do it again. It never fails to bewilder me how some people go around lamenting about how life is "boring" and "meaningless" when they're not working. They're usually retirees, of course. I can imagine a working age person who has loads of bills to pay would be quite distressed at losing the primary source of income.

But most retirees are presumably pretty well-off, what with their pensions, severance pay and life savings. You'd think that retirement was a fine time to finally indulge whatever hobbies one's picked up in that long, dreary life. I know that many working age people are complaining about how work's eaten up their lives, and that they don't have the "time" to pursue their hobbies.

Perhaps it's true. That work really has eaten up their lives, chewed it up and spat it out. Work *becomes* their lives, and they feel empty or aimless without work to guide their daily existence. That's pretty sad, seeing as how they could've really gone out there and tried to finally live life for real. Retirees are near death, and it's time that they lived like the dying.

Living Like The Dying

I was pondering the concept of the bucket list, of things one will wana do before one dies. Sometimes the stuff on the bucket list is just plain castle in the sky unrealistic. Ok that's fine. I'll probably never get a dophinectomy or birdectomy anyway. But then there's the stuff that can be done by dumping everything one has, into achieving a goal. The dying do it to live what remains of their pathetic mortal lives to the fullest.

It seems to me that only the dying really know how to live. It is like how Alexander was being completely irresponsible, sallying forth to conquer the world with everything his nation got...all without leaving an heir at the onset. For a king, that is irresponsible indeed.

Then I ask myself: Why am I not doing that? Sure, not everything on a bucket list can be pulled off due to resource limitations. But everything else can be done. Yet for those of us who expect to live long long long lives, everything on the list is probably procrastinated to some unspecified later date. Why can't we just live like the dying? There is always a safety reserve in case of unforseen circumstances, but now I am increasingly convinced that it is better to burn brightly for a short life, than to live a long one and die a straw death.

Cruelty To Post-Egg Animals

http://blog.beliefnet.com/everydayethics/2009/09/grist-for-the-mill-knowing-male-chicks-are-tossed-alive-into-grinders-will-you-still-eat-eggs.html

I was reading the coverage on the great male chick grindup, and frankly, I think it's just sick. The video link's at the bottom, and you really gota watch it to get an idea of the scene of the crime. Actually, the chicken industry is just plain sick. I was already well aware of the terrible conditions for the animals and the debeaking, but grinding up live chicks totally takes the cake.

Actually, I can see the logic behind it. After all, the male chicks are not gona be good for what chickens are good for i.e. fast meat and eggs, so they're really not very useful except for fertilizing the hens. But since we don't want bloody messes in our eggs, we don't really want too many roosters doing that for nothing.

Yet despite all this, I am aware that I am not without blame. Countless chickens have already given their lives to feed me, and I'm proud to say that their tormented meat has not gone to waste. Actually, it has, but it served me first. The thing is not about not eating meat because of cruelty to animals. It might reduce demand, but I do not think it would improve the lot of the poor chickens a hell of a lot. What needs to be done is to lobby against cruelty to food-animals. I say food-animals, because it's really the livestock that's getting the short end of the stick. If someone puts another person's pet dog into a grinder, I do think the authorities would do something about it. These creatures are gona be our food, and really...I don't wana have to be eating too much tormented meat. My life is torment enough as it is. Actually, no...I do so love my camera and computer. That makes me a bad liar.

Being A Wanabe

There are times when I truly feel like a wanabe. Sure, I may scoff at the people who go around saying the word "pro" too often, but ultimately there are things I'd look at and think: Hey! I wana be at that level! Sorta essentially the same thing, without saying the word "pro".

Sometimes it's an aspiration. That sounds awfully constructive. Other times it's really just a sort of envy, of wanting to ascend to the heights that others have reached, to stand shoulder to shoulder with the giants. Maybe it's ultimately the same. I do not know.

I do wonder whether I'm getting where I want to get to fast enough, hard enough and just what the hell I'd do once I get there. It's easy to aspire. But what happens once one achieves? Will I turn back when I finally face the Ganges?