That Shopping Mood

It turns out I'm in the thrall of yet another of those shopping moods. I tend to get the variety that drives me to get all sorts of weird technological stuff. In this case, I drew up a wishlist of sorts: Headphones, new speakers, tablet, pc overhaul. Now, if I were to actually indulge myself, I would effectively blow all my internship savings and more. Not exactly a nice prospect, considering I'd be back to the square one I was before commencing the internship...plus some serious goodies. Actually, that does sound pretty good. Anyway, the priorities turned out to be: Headphones (essential), speakers (fairly essential), tablet (luxury, since I may or may not make full use of those), PC overhaul (luxury. Gona be a big ego boost, but I guess I can live with the performance of the current rig till my next semester, when I get to do the serious gaming =p)

Naturally, something had to give, so I opted to get myself a pair of Sennheiser HD202's. They were to replace the ratty Philips SBC HS520's. Not that much of a comparison considering the two are in entirely different price brackets, with one being plain headphones and the Sennheisers being solid closed earphones.

I was really second guessing myself at first, wondering whether it was really better than the other two I was considering: The Audio Technica SJ3's and Philips SHP2500's. They actually looked pretty good on paper, with both having a greater frequency range than the HD202's. The SJ3's were more fascinating by virtue of the greater portability and ability to do one-ear monitoring. The Philips pair were significantly cheaper.

Upon checking out the reviews and from personal experience of those brands, the Audio Technica would have to be out. In a way, swivel headphones were also more likely to break. The Philips simply didn't have good reviews, and I was skeptical about something costing half the price being quite as good. In the end, it was really the 2-years warranty of the Sennheisers, and the brand's reputation that won me over.

All I could say about the new phones was "Wow", but that isn't saying much considering that I was used to bottom scrapers and my dying 2.1 speakers. Then again, they probably beat the 2.1's since I'm hearing way more detail in the audio than I used to. However, the bass is nowhere near as good as that of a full subwoofer, but I guess that's to be expected considering the size and price of the unit. I am hearing more detail on these than from the 2.1's. I'd attribute that to its closed ear design. Not noise canceling, but sufficient that I can roughly hear what is going on around me but cutting out the small annoying sounds like that of a ticking time bomb and my computer's fans.

Comfort wise, I was a bit put off by the weight, but it turned out the padding at the underside of the headband was really handy to keep the phones from sliding off, yet redistributing the weight away from the ears. Surprisingly comfortable, though I will take some time to get used to the warmth.

These things probably grow on you or something. I was really questioning the wisdom of my purchase, yet I started warming up to these. Ah, well. One down, and...quite a lot of shopping to do. Kardon speakers, anyone? =p

Pretty Faces

I guess I would have to agree that it really is the prettier gals who worry the most about their looks. Of course, this includes the prettier ones who don't realize it. I mean, chew on it, if you're really that ugly, a bit of extra ugliness probably won't take you down a notch. For those who are like all the way up there, even a pimple can seriously detract from the perceived ideal. That's not hawwt.

So yeah, in a way I feel lucky not be be way up there. Nothing much to worry about in that area.

Dignity In Death

Death is not to be feared. In fact, if there’s anything people should fear, it’s the indignities other people will put their bodies through after they’re dead. I mean, just dying and rotting on the pavement is pretty much the most dignified way for the body to be treated.

While this may sound unusual, consider the myriad other undignified ways for people be treated post-mortem. In many modern countries, there's embalming. Maybe being spiced and wrapped up in bandages like a sausage is out of fashion today. Instead, they'd rather flush the innards and replace the blood with preservative (much like a sausage), then burn (like a sausage) or bury the lot. Let's consider the bbq they call cremation: It's basically a grill that overdoes the bodies to the extent that they're quite unusable for anything but fertilizer. It's not even edible anymore.

Then we have burial. With or without embalming, they basically toss dirt over the body because it's too shameful to be shown in public for extended periods of time. Of course, exceptions occur when the embalmed body is displayed like a choice buy otherwise inedible sausage. Burial without embalming? The body becomes worm food, then perhaps dug up to be bbq'ed when they find that the cemetery is really sitting on a bit of choice land. Talk about a double whammy.

A marginally more dignified treatment would be for the body to be eaten. After all, it's slightly better to be non-worm food than worm food. One becomes poo, after all. But at least the body goes directly towards nourishing stuff without turning to mush that stinks the place up, and, in some cases, this act is done with some degree of reverence. Worm food ultimately becomes worm poo anyway.

Now, how about being left where one died? Granted, it's not dignified either, but at least the body is not subjected to weird treatments. Of course, given this logic, I can only conclude that those who sensibly fear death do not really fear what comes after in the sense of the afterlife, but what others would do with the inert body afterwards.

Parallel Conversations

Sometimes it's amusing to observe how parallel conversations occur. It usually happens when a bunch of polite but uninterested people try to talk about stuff. I observe that sometimes when my parents talk to one another, and when they're talking to some neighbours they don't really like.

What effectively happens is that they keep acknowledging what the other says, what with the regular nods and all that, but they have absorbed absolutely nothing from the conversation afterwards. It could be a repeat of the exact phenomenon when I asked them what they talked about, and then they tell me that they totally forgot.

Perhaps the most amusing anecdote would be yesterday when dad tried to order beer. He told the serving wench that he wanted a bottle of beer. Mom figured that it was too much, so she wanted a can. He insisted on a bottle. Fair enough. The wench kindly told him that they didn't have cans. They only had bottles. He said he wanted only a bottle. She said they had bottles, but no cans, so that would be fine. He said again that he wanted only a bottle. She repeated that they had bottles, but no cans. At that, he just brushed her off and canceled the order. Ah, the amusement of the day.

Intellectual Laziness

Intellectual laziness is insidious. It has a way of sneaking into your daily routine, lulling you into a sense of contentment, effectively melting your brain into a big puddle of goo. I am ashamed to find that I have been guilty of intellectual laziness for perhaps a year or even two.

What I found was my increasing inability to account for the time after work/school and on weekends. Worse yet, it seems that I had no true achievements of note even during the long school hols. That should have clued me in, but it was the feeling of being characteristically occupied that kept me from really putting a finger on what was going wrong.

After all, I never had a bored moment during my free time. I was always doing something as per normal, all the way till bedtime. That seemed ordinary enough. On closer inspection, however, I found that I was not learning new things as aggressively as I used to. I was not coming up with observations of life with the spontaneity I expected. Even when chatting, I did not feel the urge to watch a video to make the most of the time spent. I caught myself mechanically browsing the threads at forums for those worth responding to, but only because nobody was online to entertain me at the time.

These alarming findings were triggered by the way I was suddenly coming up with new blog entries. I was watching Mirrormask when I figured I could stop it halfway, sleep, then continue the following day. I realized then that it was very wrong. It was not very me to leave things undone, especially when it was a story. I would not normally read comics as a substitute for full novels. And I most certainly should not be having difficulty coming up with regular blog entries.

Of course, now that I know a problem exists, I owe it to myself to recapture the old magic that I had in my younger years. The sense of wonderment at what is going on out there, and the respect for knowledge even when my opinions differ from the direction that knowledge is leading.

This evening, I was taking the bus home when I started to space out again. Ok, so some may worry about my sanity (which, by the way, was never really quite intact to begin with), but it was a glimpse back into the worlds beyond the edges of vision. I saw the familiar strangeness like a black blob oozing about in the shadows, how the bus's interior just felt...wrong, and how strangely a bicycle was chained to a staircase at my place. It was that welcome detachment from reality that really spiced things up again. Of course, what is yet more worrying is how to prevent such intellectual laziness from creeping up again...

Dreams

There may actually be something to the scientific findings of sleep cycles. That is, there is a point in time between the cycles where the brain is dreaming. If awoken during a dream cycle, the hypothesis was that the sleeper was more likely to recall a dream. Of course, this implies that the dream would not be completed as a result, and that the recollection would probably be more powerful if interrupted in the middle of a dream cycle.

I note that I do appear to recall dreams more often when working and schooling, presumably because I wind up using the alarm clock to wake me. Given that work tends to get me staying up late, the alarm has actually a pretty good chance of cutting sleep off in the middle of a dream cycle. They really do appear to be around 3 hours apiece, since I tend to get just slightly less than 6 hours of sleep on average. If I sleep earlier and get precisely 6, I do not recall dreams. Hmm...

Retribution

Horton got me rethinking the concept of retribution. It’s said that when one does something bad, the “gods” will come down and cause trouble. Now imagine reality as a speck, which is a speck of a speck of a speck of a…you get the idea. In this case, I abuse an ant. It may be an ant to me, but it’s really a person in ant society.

Now, if the situation were reversed, I'd be an ant in the eyes of some higher being. That higher being would be an ant in the eyes of a yet higher being...and so on. Assume that every action is reflected by the higher beings. I abuse the ant, I get abused, and the higher being gets abused... Conversely, if I gave the ant the treat, the higher being gave me a treat...

Therein lies a concept of retribution. Every action is mirrored in the higher and lower realities. In effect, reality is warped by these actions, and they come back in another form when least expected. As much as I'd like to, however, I am not really one to believe in the threefold law. I guess that renders the discussion moot.

Objectives

In an eternity, sometimes one can forget more than most mortals ever remember. One of the things that should never be forgotten is the satisfaction of completion. It can be amusing to potter around dabbling in everything and never completing anything. In fact, this can be quite an enjoyable experience.

The reality is, however, that sometimes it is just more satisfying to see the end of a novel one is reading, rather than going around leaving a thousand things undone. Let this be a note to self never to forget that, lest eternity turn to a series of aimless wanderings.

The Value Of Life

Much as it sounds horribly materialistic, there is actually a way to compute the value of human life. An intriguing application of the value of human life based on the human capital model can be seen in calculating the amount of damage done and its consequential effect on the economy.

Take for example a terrorist attack. It is successful and deals 2 million dollars in damage. Nobody was hurt or killed in the incident. Assuming that each person generates approximately 500k in a lifetime, the attack has effectively destroyed the life's labors of 4 people.

Extrapolating this to Leon's going rate in The Professional (25k), he is really operating at a massive discoun. He really should be raising his prices. In the context of a country's economy, it may be more efficient to negate the labors of the people by damaging the economy instead of killing people. After all, people consume resources to survive and need to redirect their labor to repair what was damaged.

Intellectual Evolution

Human reasoning is evolving at a vastly swifter rate than the biological evolution of human brains. In fact, it appears that the evolution of reasoning has totally outstripped that of the brain to the extent that there is now a divide between what reasoning should ideally be against that of base animal urges.

Here, one needs only think about how even "logical" science is steeped in irrationality. It is logical to presume that there has been little benefit to being truly rational, and selection pressure has been strongly against the slowness of rationality in favour of the visceral speed of irrational responses.

However, times have changed. The Darwinistic selection pressure against rationality has shifted to irrationality. Now, it is overly irrational people who are less likely to be successful. I wonder how long it will be before evolution takes its course and breeds a bunch of rather more rational humans...

The Reason

As I look back at the entries I've written over the last two years, a question comes to me: What have I been writing for? It seems a commitment to myself, to note the thoughts of even vague consequence such that I may recall them years hence.

Yet it feels like I have not been true to myself. Blogging seems far less personal than my diary writing ever was. Back in high school, my diary never left my side. I did everything in my power to keep others from reading it. A blog is open for all to read, since it is actually online and meant to be accessed.

As a result, some things just cannot be written on a blog. Personal things, echoes of creation, specific follies that affect others and all their like. In a way, this means the blog is in no way as comprehensive as a true diary. Of course, the initial purpose of this exercise was to provide a way to share thoughts with others. Less personal, perhaps, but nonetheless cathartic. I get the nagging feeling, though, that keeping a diary as well would allow for more frank entries.

Symbolism

It is well known that humans are obsessed about symbols. In fact, they appear to be more interested in the symbolic value of an act than its actual practical value. Still, it is one thing to know stuff at an intellectual level, and really quite another to see it happen in reality.

I find it disturbing that, when something goes wrong, many people seem more inclined to symbolically solve it and thus salve their discontent than to remove the cause of that wrongness. Perhaps this is part of the origin of superstition, whereby something symbolic is blamed for the streak of "bad luck" that strikes the said person.

The known propensity for self-deception only worsens this problem, convincing the hapless person that luck has changed due to the symbolic act. A rabbit's foot takes center stage alongside mean regression. Likewise, when something goes horribly wrong, the knee jerk call is for a leader to accept blame instead of the perpetrator of that act.

I think this is disturbing because it smacks of the irrational fears that fueled the witch hunts not too long ago. It smacks of the genocide that is perpetrated on the grounds that a particular race is to blame for the "evils" of a country. Someone takes the fall for another's faults.

Worse yet, this is all a way of coping with the unknowable. The scope of social problems is so vast, its roots so obscure, that most people have no hope of fully comprehending its origin. On a small scale, it is about why the dice never favoured the gambler to begin with. On a large scale, it is why the country is messed up in the first place.

All this also becomes fertile grounds for lashing out against the one who is unpopular.
Almost invariably, some bigshot in a corporation steps down as a result of the company entering dire straits. It is done to placate the murmuring shareholders. But internally? How was the scapegoat selected to begin with?

Losing The Soul

I had another dream about the broken antique silver key that everyone wanted. While trying to find its meaning, I stumbled upon a stray thought. I was considering the meaning of uniqueness. In a mechanistic world full of uniformity and conformity, a handmade item is prized for its difference from the usual slew of identical objects.

However, these items are easily co-opted by capitalism. Native American handicrafts have a unique flavor of their own because they are made by hand, by Native Americans no less. Once these items start being made in large numbers, their aura diminishes. Each item, though physically unique through handcrafting, becomes a unit in a long series of units. Put together, each unique item becomes just another in a crowd.

This is possibly where the soul is lost in many modern societies. A good thing is found and effort is made to replicate it for all. But by providing for everyone, the precious object is provided for no one. After all, there can be only one original: The one that set off the craze in the first place.

In a way, every other item in the series has become a cheap copy: the spark of creativity no longer exists in it since nobody is attempting to create the next unique item. Every other derivation may become a soulless work, created solely to replicate the success of the original. No longer is it an expression of individuality. No longer does it have its soul.

Office Politics

There are few things in life that seem as unpleasant and inevitable as office politics. Thankfully, my current work does not exactly have the allowance or motivation for the nasties. Unfortunately, that is untrue in the case of my working friends.

The details differ, but the pattern remains. Where there is a common want, scarcity and an inability to share that want, conflict arises. What is worse is that most people find it pretty impossible to be civil in a situation such as this. In fact, it appears that asking colleagues to play fair is akin to telling warring states to be gentlemanly while waging war. i.e. Not Gona Happen (tm)

Adding more spice to the gumbo, the worst scenarios almost invariably occur when fighting for a position in senior management. Only the best connected and most hardy need apply. It is a decision made which occasionally completely disregards personal ability in favour of some unknown favouritism.

Of course, that is simply an example of a situation gone completely out of hand. The bad news, of course, is that the situation in reality may not be much better.

Horton

It is a rare thing to have nowadays: A film I am willing to watch twice over, then purchase the dvd. I used to think the only films that ever made it to that level were the Ghibli masterpieces. Much as I would like to credit it as such, I cannot say that Horton is original. It's a derivative work, after all. I can, however, praise it for its vivid interpretation of the tale.

I suppose I should begin by praising the layered story, and how it is simple enough for children to understand, yet has sufficient symbolic depth to satisfy a more discerning adult. Unfortunately, it also appears to harbor some slapped on modern ideologies that look quite out of place against the core narrative.

I totally love the character designs. Especially Katie. It's strange how one can fall in love with a character that is little more than a floofball that barely ever says anything coherent, and only manages to spout nonsensical sentences while coherent. Of course, this character happens to be very similar to my concept of what a Floof should be, so that made Katie only the more endearing.

Horton chronicles the development of an eccentric elephant to a true hero, with his nobility mirroring the ordeals of Galileo as he tried to convince the Church that the world was not quite as they thought it was. I found his nobility touching to the point of tears, seeing as how he struggled to the bitter end to preserve the lives of the ones he swore to protect. 100%, Horton!

Oh, and 9/10 for including stuff that I'm pretty sure were not originally in the book.

Dragonflies

I was at this park with the intention of taking photos. While mooching around, I realized a dragonfly had settled on the nearby bushes. Naturally, I wanted to peg some shots of it, but the handheld shots were no good. Though passable to a cursory examination, all the fine details were smeared. That just wouldn’t do.

Seeing as how the dragonfly did not seem to want to move from its perch, I proceeded to deploy the tripod and gave it a full model shoot. I think that was pretty amusing, considering the dragonfly was a total camwhore. It stayed so still, and did not move for about 2 hours. During this time, I was pegging other stuff. While I was at my work, another two dragonflies decided to settle down so they could have me take their portfolio photos.

On hindsight, I took some spiffy photos and should perhaps ask the dragonflies for a model release so I can market their pics. On the other paw, I felt quite dumb having sat around for 2 hours just to shoot insects within a 3 square meter area. In a way, I began to understand why some photographers would take so long just to produce a single photograph. It really isn’t as simple as pulling the device to the eye and snapping a shot.

Note to self: Dragonflies are probably lazy in the evening, so that would be a good time to shoot them.

Take Us Away

There are days when feelings can get mighty nasty. It is then that the urges to just get away from everything can be extremely strong. In fact, it can be really tempting to just lie down on the bed and sleep the days away so the visits to dreamland can at least dull the unpleasantness of it all. Naturally, I'd blame the innards that give a little twinge now and then to remind me that the moon is a pretty thing to look at and that it means more than light reflecting off a rock.

Anyway, it's times like these that really make me feel like running in the forest or sitting by the river or something. Anything to get away from humans. Just about everything can get irritating, and there's this wonderful burning sensation all over. Ah, the wonders of the body.

Of course, mom would happily pounce on this as further "proof" of my "laziness". Something like just wanting to get away from work. I'd call it more a case of anywhere-but-here. I literally feel like getting away. Anywhere. Just not where I am right now. I trust the feelings will pass with the next real phase of the moon, but it's an interesting situation to be in.

Turn Taking

Social conditioning for turn-taking actually involves a number of highly precise definitions of when a turn should be taken, or when permissions must be requested before attempting to take over a task.

An observation while in public is the way people try to give way to others when at the subway.
In a favorable situation, two approaching people will both step to the same side and successfully clear the way for one another. In a less favorable situation, both will step in opposite directions and effectively obstruct one another's way.

This appears to create quite a bit of stress, since both people are usually in some sort of hurry to get to the other train. After realizing that there is an obstruction, both people will attempt to dodge again. Interestingly enough, the time delay between dodges is often precise to the millisecond. Both people will actually dodge at precisely the same time, often in the opposite direction they initially dodged. Understandably, this causes yet another blockage and increases stress levels further. In fact, a whole series of dodges may occur in rapid (and synchronized) succession until the blockage is resolved.

Perhaps this is an indication of how reflexes and social conditioning in turn taking work together to cause a fairly predictable series of responses. In this case, though, it can be presumed that both people will feel that the other person is somehow inconsiderate or inept in being unable to clear the way for the other...

Down

It's that time of month again (or not). The mysterious bouts of depression that may or may not have any sort of logical basis. In fact, it can be pretty intriguing to have a sense of emptiness popping out of nowhere when one was happy in the morning. Naturally, it is quite a swing, having happiness rapidly turn to something far more somber.

Anyway, while I am in the mood, I suppose it is only proper to reflect on the emptiness of life. Of course, this would concern how one's day can be dominated by work (even if it's enjoyable), leaving very little time for personal enjoyment. In fact, much of that personal enjoyment time is in turn taken up by people asking you out on weekends and every other time you are free.

Perhaps this sounds a tad antisocial, but one's social life can really be a drudge. But then again it's a view through oddly tinted emo-glasses. I expect my take on this would differ after a good sleep and all that.

Remembering The Destitute

While living the life of the middle class, it is remarkably easy to get caught up in the day to day existence and forgetting what is going on right around oneself. One of the key areas that are easy to miss is the plight of the destitute.

Sometimes, the destitute do not take the form of the vagabond sleeping on the streets. Indeed, they may even be the cheerful-looking geezer that really lives in a dingy rental. In fact, if the streets were cleaned up or if one lives in a "good" neighbourhood, it becomes difficult to even notice that anyone is struggling with life. At least in the economic sense.

This could perhaps create a sort of ambivalence towards being generous towards these people. The apparently cheerful geezer turns into a form of bogeyman-leech that is sucking money from the public coffers (which, naturally, should go straight to the complainant).

On Design And Ideas

After being in the game industry for mere months, I could begin to see the origins of the myriad problems I found in games nowadays. It is strange that, within a few short decades, games are thought to have “matured” and set into fixed formulae. It is disheartening to realize that, in the pressure to create a potentially profitable game within a short period of time, even I have found myself falling back onto those formulae to push a product out. The more radical and experimental ideas would have been rejected by the producer as unsuited to the target market, or simply found to be “not-fun”.

Fun is the buzzword and the lifeblood of the current industry. Without fun, there is no game. There may be a simulation being made, but it will never survive on the mass market. Instead, the storekeeps are increasingly becoming inundated by the latest and greatest fads in game types. Perhaps the flavour of the season was WWII, in which case WWII games would pop up like mushrooms. In fact, they would come in almost precisely two types: FPSs and RTS. Few are motivated to innovate.

In fact, what is yet more disturbing is seeing how I could not simply pull a fresh idea out of thin air without drawing on the norms of some other game type. Ideas created not supported by some established form turned out to be incomprehensible to everyone but the creator (namely me) and turned out to be hard to explain and learn.

Therein lies the crunch: I am probably not as original an idea generator as Will Wright, and I sure am not stubborn enough to really pull my weight to insist that they try the idea to the finish. Lots of newbie designers probably started off this way, being somewhat uncertain about ideas and/or having difficulty pitching them. But the scary bit is really that even good ideas like Will Wright’s would have likely fallen on the wayside had the designer not strongly lobbied for their conception.

Olympic Madness

Those protesting the nasty human rights record of China seem to be making a most unusual choice this time round. It is disheartening to see a symbolic protest against China being made against a sporting event. Like it or not, the Olympics is an event where sportspeople from around the world gather to pit their prowess against one another. While the Olympics has been politicized in the past and still serves as a showcase of each nations' finest, attempting to stop the Olympic flame is in effect a symbolic strike against the spirit of sport.

Such a strike is unbecoming of those purporting to defend human rights, considering that sports in itself is a human right to organize a peaceful competition whereby people can pit themselves against one another without causing bloodshed. Should they have a care, the activists must reconsider their actions and instead consider more direct approaches to protesting against China's acts. Preferably one that is not a pillar of peaceful competition.

Taboo

http://food.oregonstate.edu/ref/culture/taboo_allen.html

Taboos are interesting things. They are social sanctions for humans to descend to an illogical animal level. Take for example the case of murder. Willfully killing humans is a taboo topic. Mention that and there is a very good chance that you'd be rejected outright for discussing it. In fact, the taboo against such killing is so strong that euthanasia is illegal in many (if not most) countries. However, people are far more willing to condone executions and wars. Clearly, killing is not really on the books as much as it is the notion of killing without what is perceived as a just cause. In other words, killing can be justified in some situations.

Extrapolate this to the taboo of cannibalism. Many would balk at the very consideration of this very taboo topic. Upon closer logical analysis, however, it seems a fairly mundane topic. Take an animal, kill it, then eat it. After all, many people do that to cows, pigs and chickens. Throw humans into the mix and logic goes clean out the window. Suddenly, the suggestion becomes massively repugnant.

Interestingly enough, the same response can be elicited from people when one suggests that they consume their dead pets. It is another gross violation of relationships, even though it now involves a non-human animal.

Now consider the realities of cannibalism. Contrary to popular perceptions of savages hunting down random people and slaying them for food, how about the ritualistic consumption of human meat as a sacrament? The flesh is regarded as sacred and treated with the utmost respect. No savagery here. Just something that may be experienced in any religious ritual.

This is where the taboo effect emerges. Most would immediately cut off their logic circuits at the very mention of the possibility that cannibalism is in some way acceptable. Those people have effectively moved down to a more visceral level of response governed purely by emotions. Clearly, they will not move on to realize that a (small?) number of cultures find absolutely nothing wrong with consuming human flesh. If anything, these cultures would be viewed as absolute outliers. Never would it be considered that human meat be the solution to world hunger. Such is unthinkable.

Unthinkable, perhaps, to an unthinking audience. While the purpose of this entry is not to highlight the possibility of using humans as meat, it does raise hackles by even suggesting that a taboo act be made mainstream and used to solve a very real worldwide problem. Taboo, anyone?

Unhealthy Obsessions

People can get caught up with looks. Given society's obsession with looks, that would probably be fairly normal, if unhealthy. Even that can be topped, however. I have known some who have unrealistic expectations of their bodies.

It is disheartening to see such obsessions as feeling that one's looks are inadequate compared to the airbrushed perfection of supermodels. It is worse yet to realize that they really feel that the photoshopped supermodels were really some sort of bizarre standards of beauty. Naturally, this meant that the supermodels were the only average lookers out there. I truly pity all the ugly people in this world who will never find mates. That is, approximately 99.9999% of the population.

That aside, there are even obsessions over how guyish they look and swearing that they would most certainly not look like girls were they to shave their heads. Of course, I really didn't have the heart to hold them by the throat and inform them between clenched fangs that people really do look rather androgynous when they shave their heads. Ah...the humanity...

On Communication Culture

Of the few communication cultures I know of, I have to say that none are quite as complicated, inefficient and possibly absurd as that of the Chinese. In fact, it appears to be a well-meaning system corrupted and taken to extremes.

In its ideal form, the Chinese style of communication would lead to harmony in discussions. By minimizing conflict, things can get done better and faster without wasting energy on needless infighting. It also leaves everyone with better morale, having known that they have a group they can get along with.

Unfortunately, reality creates a bunch of frightened people doing their best to avoid becoming the nail that sticks out. Worse yet, such a system encourages group think and the propagation of bad ideas given the habitual way-giving. In fact, the whole communication system becomes a power play whereby members hold out on providing their opinions until someone is brave (or stupid) enough to blacken their names by speaking out.

Sparta Revisited

Much as the way of womens' lives in Sparta was admirable, there were factors that were less than desirable. For one, the relatively poor education of the people led to a batch of rather poor tacticians and diplomats. Military might can only take a country so far before its numbers wear thin and the helots began to revolt.

In fact, it was very sad that a militaristic state could be so poorly versed in advanced battlefield tactics. While the other states of the time were relatively rigid in their tactics, it seemed unusual that a state serving as a huge military camp could fail to continually innovate its tactics rather than to concentrate purely on the training of its troops.

Finally...I'd say: Field the women. How unusual that, in Sparta's last days, its able-bodied womenfolk were not brought to the field. In their pride, Spartan men scorned ranged weapons as womanly devices. What better troop to wield those...than women? Of course, this could all be due to the strange fixation on maintaining walls of phalluses.

10'000 BC

I just watched a caveman flick. Ok, technically, it probably was not meant to be as such, but it really is hard to think otherwise (what, with all those mammoths and prehistoric birds). Anyway, the film has its fair bit of standard Hollywood action. I'm not entirely sure how much I like the way the protagonist turned out to really be more of an accidental hero whose exploits were the result of blind luck rather than any measure of heroic effort or skill.

Of course, this is not to mention that the geography's really rather messed up, what having tribals moving from snowy peaks to tropical (apparently) jungles and then into the desert. Really quite a journey for people on foot. Better yet, it leaves me wondering why slavers would go to such lengths to gather a handful of slaves from such distant lands. Seems quite counter-intuitive for me, but I am ever-willing to suspend my disbelief.

Unfortunately, the film also bears the marks of inadequate visual narrative. The constant presence of a disembodied narrator is pretty much a hallmark of a film that cannot stand alone without explication. Moreover, there was evidence of throwaway characters and melodrama. There is such a thing as having too much drama in a single scene. Falling into a pit of spikes that is getting flooded while having vultures pecking at meat overhead while having a sabertooth tiger below (and actually taking the time to free it) is pushing the limits of even my willing suspension of disbelief.

Overall, I felt the film was pretty run of the mill and that means it does not get more than a 6/10 from me. It was an interesting take on the lives of people in the past, but could really have saved themselves a lot of trouble by not giving the film a specific date as a title, since that would only cause erudites to question its historical accuracy.

Email Addiction

Article Here

Researchers appear to have little better to do than to investigate technology "addictions". It is remarkably easy to problematize emails as a form of addiction. What is strange is how they never seem to problematize the exact same issue in a wider context: Humans are social addicts. Every symptom of addiction mentioned within that article can also be applied to social addiction.

Consider this: I would like to point out that the majority of humans are social addicts. Like other addicts, social people experience cravings, urges, withdrawal and tolerance, requiring more and better social contact or more and more hours with other people. In fact, social addiction can lead to excessive socializing, sexual pre-occupations and lots of talking. I would say that these addicts use socializing as a way to escape their lonely reality. Addicts may be addicted to everything from the sheer act of talking, to social events, shopping or three-dimensional, multi-human events known as meetings.

It is remarkably simple to rehash social interactions in the form of an addiction simply because it IS a form of addiction. Humans are so addicted to being social that they do not realize it is an addiction. Emails and online communications are exactly what they are: Communications. In fact, they are merely communications over an electronic medium. It is not as if the people are actually totally attached to the electronics for their own sake, but have become increasingly attached to their precious electronics because it brings them socially closer to other humans!

Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety can be a nasty thing. I suppose everyone feels it from time to time, and the luckier of the bunch will allow it to drive them to greater heights. There will always be some, though, who merely become crippled when faced by the exact same demon. It effectively becomes a case of self-taught helplessness whereby one will simply feel that the results are not up to the mark and simply stop trying: All without any form of negative feedback.

This would result in a vicious cycle of self-rejection and disappointment. In fact, it can utterly destroy one's drive. When one starts experiencing such a cycle, it is prudent to stop it dead, preferably with a long pointy stake to the heart. Otherwise, it may fester and render one helpless in the face of adversity.

Time

Time is a matter of priorities. Even though many try to assert that there is insufficient time, it is really an example of an incompatibility between their needs and wants. For example, there will always be some that want more money. An average working class person would likely have to work longer hours to achieve that want. Unfortunately, it also takes away the time needed to enjoy oneself.

A sensible person would therefore have to logically weigh between work and freedom, balancing the two within the bounds of the sands of time. It is not unlikely, however, that the occasional irrational person tries to achieve both ends within the same time frame. In an ideal situation, what would result is stress. In a worse situation, the person would simply be unable to fulfill both and feel exceedingly helpless.

Competence

Competence is an illusion. Undoubtedly, there will be some who believe they are competent at something and rightly feel confident about what they can and will do. Unfortunately, much of the "competence" experienced by many people would be somewhere between imaginary and utterly fictional.

For example, a game about people would immediately put a large proportion of the audience at ease: Being humans, they already assume that they have a very sound working knowledge of the needs, wants, behaviours and just about every other aspect of human existence. Of course, everything from then on would merely serve to maintain that illusion. Even if they take 5 minutes to learn how to play the game, they would feel very much better for it and pat themselves on the back for learning so quickly on a platform they are experts at. Conversely, the 5 minutes spent learning a new game they never felt competent at would probably be the longest 5 minutes of their lives! Who on earth could possibly understand the inner workings of arcane divine voodoo using bolts as mana?

Over exaggeration, perhaps, but a rather common trend amongst humans. It must be remembered that the average human is rather an emotional creature that lives on perceptions rather than concrete measures. A minute can seem far longer if it involves something they are not familiar with. As for competence? Assuming competence and subsequently failing at that very same act can do wonders for one's self-esteem...

Unwritten Rules

Humans learn by observing others. When everyone does things one way, it is perceived to be the correct way things are done. After all, the big, dumb, unwashed masses cannot possibly be wrong. Still, one must deign to consider the implications of such learning: What the great big, dumb, unwashed mess...er...masses does not do will also be perceived as incorrect.

Take for example the common metro. There are seats on the train, and great big open spaces. On a normal rush hour, those spaces would be taken up. On other off-peak times, the spaces open up to varying degrees. Sometimes, there just are no seats available, but lots of spaces.

Interestingly enough, very few actually consider sitting on the floor. While some may argue that doing so would result in obstruction to others, there are invariably nooks and crannies that can accommodate sitting and still not pose an obstruction. Even this little bit of practicality is largely ignored in favor of the norm of sitting (on seats) and standing on the train.

Such is the way of unwritten rules. By extension, these unwritten rules are established everywhere. In fact, owing to the average humans' lack of consciousness of the origins of their motivations, many accept these rules unquestioningly and find it exceptionally unusual that one should flout them...

Asking Why

One of the biggest problems with modern society is that nobody ever seems to ask why. When one is young, one learns much by asking why. Why is a rainbow a rainbow? Why is the sky blue? Eventually, one gets many answers to all the questions, and one starts to "grow up".

Later in life, it becomes increasingly unfashionable to ask why. In the teenage years, "why" becomes more a question of defiance than a prompt towards real learning. Once one reaches adulthood, "why" becomes an expression of ignorance rather than the quest for knowledge.

This is all very dangerous, the least of which can result in the stagnation of knowledge amongst the people. It can lead to several unquestioned "truths" that are harmful to the people as a whole to go unnoticed and unquestioned for extended periods of time. At worst, it allows for the abuse of authority.

Who's At Fault Now?

Being judgmental in a tense situation is insidious. In fact, I catch myself blaming others when the going gets tough. It is a cowardly and unacceptable thing, and should be overcome by mental discipline whenever it rears its ugly head.

As usual, such thoughts have their origins masked in the comforting veneer of logic. Something is going seriously wrong and I am doing my best. Therefore, some other person is at fault. He’s not working hard enough. She’s not skilled enough. Logically, I already know I am doing my best and therefore someone else must be at fault.

It must therefore be considered, the possibility that one isn’t really doing one’s best. Working hard alone has little bearing on putting in one’s best effort. Sometimes, chewing gum all day and having a flash of insight can be greater than merely brainstorming all day and churning out mediocre ideas wrought of an exhausted mind. Under the pretense of “productivity”, the quality of one’s work suffers.

Therefore, when one starts pointing that finger, one should ask whether one is truly doing one’s best. Of course, we already know that we’re doing our best. It’s a given, because everyone else is always at fault.

Zen Shooting

Shooting is a zen thing. It is the moment of unity between shooter, camera and subject. At that point, the shutter speed, aperture and iso are at the precise point of balance, creating an...AWFUL exposure. And then it all falls apart. The composition looks neither here nor there, the exposure is terrible and the colors just seem off.

This would be a good time to put the third eye to use, being able to "see" the shot before any buttons are pressed. It is only then, along with the correct settings, that everything can fall into place at the moment of the shot. It is not a matter of the camera (assuming it isn't damaged), its film/sensor or anything else...but the trigger finger and the right moment.

Power Over

There are many forms of power extant in society. One of the most visible types of power is power over. That is, a person(s) of power holds sway over those possessed of a lesser amount of that power.

This situation manifests itself in numerous ways. A common way would be in a kidnapping. The kidnappers have power over those they intend to extort money from. The origin of this example of power over is likely from the affection the people feel for the kidnapped. They are unwilling to allow or feel responsible for any harm befalling the kidnapped. It is precisely this attachment that keeps the kidnappers in a position of power.

Likewise, in most systems where there are people in "power", that form of power is often power over as well. A government that legitimizes its position through economic success or national stability will have power over the people by threatening them with the loss of their wealth and/or personal security if the people do not cooperate with them. A constant fear of terrorist attacks could cause people to be more willing to sacrifice their personal freedoms, for one. One should thus always be wary of anyone in power exercising power over, lest that power be abused.

Racism

The specter of racism is very real...and very insidious. Apart from dedicated self-admitted racists, most would deny being racist. In fact, they are quite likely to believe that they aren't either. Of course, taking into account the human propensity towards self-deception, this belief must be taken with a pinch of salt.

For example, a person may feel that a certain ethnic group is "inborn" with certain traits. Common accusations include laziness, propensity to violence, use of black magics, etc etc. At an intellectual level, having such inexplicable beliefs is completely unacceptable. After all, most people would not want to be thought of or think themselves racist.

Therein lies the problem: Humans have an incredible ability to see patterns where there is none. Hence we can have people seeing a certain ethnic group acting lazy one out of a hundred times and take it as canon, while rejecting the ninety nine other times the people from that ethnic group worked decently. Worse yet, the human mind appears intuitively incapable of comprehending probability (explaining the popularity of gambling, for example). By a combination of these factors, the human will have convinced herself that a certain ethnic group is possessed of a general poor character. And then we throw in the other irrational, probability-handicapped humans who think the same way...

Illogical Logic

Humans are curiously illogical. The slightest detail can conjure a whole slew of arbitrary conclusions. For example, the absence of suds in washing powder can make some imagine that the powder is not doing its job, despite the fact that stains are being effectively removed.

However, this apparent illogic is only so in relation to Age of Reason logic. By jumping to conclusions and strongly holding them, the human is by definition illogical especially when refusing to accept facts even in the face of evidence.

It would be interesting to consider how this illogic could have become so predominant amongst humans to the extent that most would dismiss offhand the in depth consideration of philosophies and ideals. (We shall ignore the fact that this is in and of itself a philosophy)

In times of greater scarcity, the ability to make snap decisions would very likely draw the line between survival and a very ugly death. If we go by the tenets of Darwinism, it would appear to be useful that humans can barely perceive things, decide whether they are worth considering, then discard them offhand to focus on more important things.

In most middle class urban existences, the consideration of things beyond “mere” survival (like logical thought, for example) would be more useful for survival in society. Despite this, the application of logical thought is still cumbersome and quite contrary to the way humans have been for the longest time: “Modern” life as is understood nowadays is merely a social construct dominated by the artificiality of “logic”.

The higher logic of philosophy and ideals is in and of itself of little merit in a harsher and more carnal existence. An example would be say…(to quote a cliché) living in a jungle. Therefore, the offhand rejection of Enlightenment-era logic is in and of itself logical – in the context of bare survival. Such is merely an alternative form of logic that is currently frowned upon if allowed to dominate one’s existence.

The Superficiality Of Language

Some may claim that consumerism is remarkably superficial. For example, buying a stylish sports car is purported to “say” something about the driver/owner. It may be true, but all this is merely the perception of the beholder. If I associate sports cars with yuppies, I would readily assume that sports car owner = yuppie.

Still, it must be noted that the very vocabulary from which I draw the term “yuppie” is really from the language of my culture - both spoken and unspoken. Humans have created multiple levels of nonverbal communication to compensate for their relative inability to read others’ minds.

Unfortunately, these nonverbal ways to communicate have led to rather unfortunate consequences for those who do not understand them. I could “accidentally” select a vehicle that “says” all the wrong things about me, and be totally clueless about it (assuming that I couldn’t read minds or nonverbal communications, of course). Conversely, I could simply deliberately choose my wardrobe to deceive others about my “true” nature.

Language is actually meant to be superficial: a word means only what it means (to facilitate ease of communication). It is really human perceptions and consensus that leads to words developing arcane and obscure connotations. If anything is superficial, it is the vocabulary set up within a culture to communicate ideas related to consumerism. One may think that an item’s mere appearance influenced the buying decision and thus the buyer must be superficial. One who thinks that way may be guilty of being superficial, too, by demonstrating a possible ignorance of the deeper symbolism of the item. To be sure, much of this stems from the negative connotations of the word “superficial”…

Strange Censorship

Ok, I'm really behind time on this gripe, but better late than pregnant...er...never. Anyway, this is about that horrendous "reality" show There's Something About Miriam. In fact, I feel it's wrong on so many levels that it's amazing the show wasn't banned outright. Less offensive shows have been banned on the grounds that they were affronts to human dignity.

Down to the gripe: For one, the show is built entirely on deception. The contestants were deceived into believing that they were going for a natal female rather than a transsexual woman. Now, this is less about the woman/not-woman issue than that they were led to believe, by implication and common expectation than it is about how the show has utter disregard for the sensitivities of the contestants. For example, some of them may have strong ideological or religious beliefs against dating a transsexual. It's sort of like telling someone that they're voting Democrat when it's really a Republican.

Then we have the issue of Miriam saying that she is "not a woman". This self-admission...by a transsexual, no less...is likely to cement public opinion that transsexual females are not women. They are born-guy creatures that will always be guys in one way or another. This may be a biological fact, but is hardly healthy for those trying to assimilate into society to have normal lives.

Sad to say, Miriam was hardly the prime example of an average woman. Though some note that she is somewhat of a bimbo, I believe this is at least in part attributed to how she seems not to be a native English speaker. By choosing an obviously foreign woman who is apparently not very articulate, it creates negative stereotypes of both foreigners (specifically Mexicans) and transsexual women. For all I know, she did not literally mean "I am not a woman" so much as "I was born male". That is, she regards herself as female, but acknowledges the fact that she wasn't born so.

In fact, there may be a possibility that this travesty was allowed primarily because it involved a "not-real" woman rather than a real one. Any other premise involving a non-transsexual would be a clearly recognizable affront to human dignity. If it were a woman, it'd probably be sexual harassment at least. If it were a HIV-positive person, it would be downright illegal not to reveal it till the end.

Worse yet were the guffaws of the other contestants as the winner got the "prize". Besides seeming like a big mean schoolyard prank, it also implies that a guy being "fooled" into dating a transsexual is really a big joke (i.e. any sane guy would certainly not consider such a proposition). Were he not already averse to the idea, such concerted mockery would certainly put him off.

The implication of all this is awful if true: Transsexuals are simply not treated as being deserving of the dignity afforded every other good non-transsexual citizen. Such a precedent means one can create a similar show spitting on the dignity of at least one person on national TV...and get away censorship-free.

Clinton: An Issue Of Gender

It is frightening how so many women are highly critical of Hillary Clinton potentially popping into the White House. I suppose it is not so much of a problem if there is a legitimate gripe, such as obvious potential to be an awful commander in chief or something. What I seem to be getting is rather a lot more of inexplicable I-don't-like-her or she's-so-arrogant. Opinions like these tend to raise alarm bells, signaling the possibility that it really is that old ugly harsh judgment of women cropping up again.

For some reason, women are the harshest critics of other women, and it seems to be quite the case here, too. Something that is deemed appropriate (ambition) in men is inappropriate (power-hungry) in women. This double standard could well be masking some other deeper motivation for women to undermine other women. If there ever was a fine example of divide and conquer, in-fighting between women would be shiny indeed.

Of course, I would likely stand by the feminists who claim that Clinton is just another bastion of patriarchy in a female shell. If people really stop to consider, men and women are equally responsible for maintaining the stranglehold of patriarchy. I fail to understand how a full half of society could be forced to unwillingly accept a yoke like patriarchy. There has to be some complicity here.

Then again, all this aside, I believe national leadership should be evaluated according to the merits of the candidates. That is, things that do not intrinsically affect candidate performance like race, gender and religion should really be put aside when making this important decision. Given the history of human irrationality, my hopes are not really up. But I do hope to see a woman in the White House for a change nonetheless.

Feedback Loop: A Nagging Hypothesis

The mind has an interesting tendency to ignore things that are deemed unimportant. For example, if the toilet smells and it is unimportant (does not cause any perceptible harm), the smell is screened out by the mind.

Now, there is also a feedback loop. If the toilet smell is deemed important, the mind feeds back the sense without causing it to be screened out. It is very much akin to a doctor’s needle that feels far more intense when you’re paying attention to it.

We are all familiar with the concept of nagging. It occurs when a person figures that something is important and repeatedly relates the concept of that important something to another person. Naturally, nagging only occurs when the other party does not regard that something as important, or that something would have been removed in the first place.

So this is where it all gets together. Let’s assume that the situation in question is a toilet that smells. In this hypothetical situation, the woman notices the smell just as well as the man. Both notice it at this point. We will assume that the woman deems the smell important and the man does not. After some time, the woman is nagging about the smell, and the man gets very much angry about the nagging. What happened?

Initially, both noticed the smell. However, the man finds it unimportant and screens the sense out. He has effectively ignored the smell. The woman finds it important, however. This is probably because of social factors. The toilet is probably a domestic unit and belongs in the domestic sphere that women traditionally dominate. Moreover, keeping the household healthy is important to her. Bad toilet smells could indicate unclean surroundings that may spread disease. Finally, it is socially rewarding for a woman to be observant (you’ll understand this part if you are a woman)

Given the perceived importance of the smell, the woman’s mind does not let her ignore it. Think of this as a doctor’s needle…multiplied every time the woman is reminded of the smell. When the feeling overflows, there is an urge to relate this to another person: the hapless man. Understandably, the man initially accepts this, but does nothing about it because he feels it is unimportant. Later on, with repeated reminders, he feels frustrated because he is being constantly reminded about something he effectively does not notice anymore. It seems like much ado about nothing! With the differences in perception, the woman winds up having to get rid of the smell…and put another black mark on the man’s sordid character.

Now, let’s extrapolate this to my room. Here are the facts: It is messy. Mom feels that the mess is somehow important. I do not stay in the house much (there’s school and stuff). Mom stays in the house a whole lot more. Guess who gets more frustrated about the situation? =p

Pokemon!

Pokemon Pearl for DS is probably one of those dated games that persist to the present day. However, from a game mechanics point of view, it is actually quite remarkable. Pokemon has a healthy number of the hallmarks of a successful game. It has a persistent game world in that players can trade their pokemon both in the card game and online. It generates itself by having invisible and random enemy spawn points that spew random enemies (not necessarily a good game design). It has an apparently large game world that houses lots of inhabitants. More importantly, there are a huge variety of playable pokemon that can be captured. Even the interface is quite dynamic for something this dated.

What would keep most from appreciating it, though would probably be its skin. For one, it is probably targeted at a younger audience and I know a good number of people who would not be caught dead playing it precisely because of that reason. Besides, those who are used to "meaningful" (read: more glitz, blood and gore) gameplay would bemoan the repetitiveness of the combat sequences. I, for one, am more than a bit peeved that there is no way to get through them quicker so I can spend more time exploring.

That aside, there really is a remarkable amount of content in the game. There are huge numbers of pokemon to be seen/captured and each one is somewhat different from the others. (Of course, this is not to evaluate it from a balance point of view, since the game is clearly heavily weighted towards certain pokemon.) Besides the sprites and their supporting accessories, there are numerous small embellishments that pop out through gameplay. We have the underground levels, the little widgets that you collect in your adventures, and hidden items to name a few.

The more (self-perceived) mature audience may view the overall game world as predictable, but it is undeniable that there is much to see in the game world...assuming one actually has the patience to go over all of it.

Exams And Life

Examinations are a like a very badly (or well) designed game. It has a set of fixed rules that are not initially apparent to the student. In fact, the rules are never made known to or figured out by a good number of students. The deal breaker, of course, is that once done, there is no way to undo what one did (or did not) in the exam. Realistic? Perhaps. Fun? Probably not.

Of course, some have likened this phenomenon to that of life. Life is presumably fun, or a good majority of living creatures would have committed suicide because there was no real reason to live on. Some may argue that they have a sense of self-preservation or a fear of death and thus are not quite likely to want themselves dead. I would disagree, since they have obviously deemed it not-fun to actually off themselves. I believe a good number would disagree as well, but they're currently pushing up the daisies and are unavailable for comment.

Back to exams, the general consensus is that they are NOT fun. This is likely because they are either too easy (I get an A every time!) or too hard (I can never get that A!). In pattern theory, this would mean that a good number of students have failed to learn the pattern of exams (the holy grail formula that gets you A's every time). Whose fault is it? Obviously academia. They are the ones who grade the papers in the first place.

Look a little deeper, and the source of not-fun is quite likely the value system of the individual students. The value system itself, of course, can be influenced by a number of factors, not the least of which society. It is probable that the lack of fun is not so much from not getting A's...but from not being able to enjoy the exam experience itself. By being unable to understand the pattern for A's, or to grok the system itself, the students cannot find such an experience fun. All this, however, does nothing to improve the exam's rating as one of the most horrible games ever invented (assuming that games are meant to be fun).

Up That ISO!

This is just a reminder to self: Up that ISO! I was at a family gathering today and as usual, the indoor conditions were somewhat dim. Now, it may be an admirable effort to try to keep the camera steady so shake doesn't blur the shots, but it is darned silly to waste moments by allowing the subject to blur them by moving! Of course, this was more of a covert/candid operation considering that my relatives didn't really like to be photographed and mom basically commissioned the hit. Anyway yeah. ISO 800! Go for it!

Have Some Self-Respect

There are really too many people out there (even national leaders) who take themselves way too seriously. That is, they can never take it when someone lampoons them. It would seem that the more magnanimous are rather more sporting and allow a healthy bit of self-deprecation. Of course, the tendency to take oneself overly seriously is quite likely an indication of low self-esteem. Even the tiniest bit of lampooning would make one go nuts. The magnanimous ones are more likely to be comfortable with themselves and know that a few well-meaning jibes would not automagically kill their entire reputation. I mean it's silly, being seen drinking Pepsi and suddenly fearing that one's reputation has been smeared by association with Britney Spears. Oops, did I say that out loud?

The Mist

This is probably one of the worst movies I have watched in a very long time. Right off the bat, I would give it a 5.5/10. It was made worse by the knowledge that the story could have been so much more, but lost all of its subtlety in the sledgehammer narrative.

Basically, The Mist is about this all-obscuring mist that settles over a town (shouldn't it be a fog, really?). This insidious mist is also home to a host of deadly creatures that kill everything (presumably, though only humans were featured in the movie). As the story progresses, the audience is shown the full spectrum of human ugliness arising from people being put in a highly stressful situation.

The premise is perhaps where the good stuff ends. The movie narrative is plagued by loopholes and has about as much finesse as your average sledgehammer. For example, what do you do when you're in a (seemingly) safe place full of food and there's a supposedly deadly mist outside? You go out and try to get help. If a dangerous-looking but non-aggressive creature barges into your area? You attack it (the American way). When all else fails? You turn to your nearest religious leader. All that, within the space of three days.

By the presentation of this sequence of events, the show has effectively turned a story about humans being pushed to the brink and beyond into one showcasing the mindless fervor of religious zealots and the ugliness of mob thinking. The snide commentary on human nature has turned into devolving a bunch of people into a gibbering mindless mob.

Of course, the show has a saving grace: It's ending is twisted and very much ironic. As with the rest of the show the real reason for a bunch of people (having hope in the intrinsic goodness of humanity into those losing all hope) going nuts was not really explained. It merely showcased their cowardice and readily faltering willpower. I also loved the Silent Hill moment, with the siren before the fog rolled in.

All this was combined with some rather budget special effects that not only looked false, but relied heavily upon the motif of the mist to obscure the true details of what was going on. Of course, I shall not bother elaborating on how wrong it is to have yet another Doom-style open-portal-to-hellish-dimension-hence-releasing-deadly-creatures premise. So yeah. 5.5/10.

Mom's Touch

The road to Hell is truly paved with good intentions. My friend wanted to come over to my place to play video games. Naturally, such a thing was no big deal and it wouldn't really take all day anyway. But then mom just has to get a nervous breakdown over how messy the house was and how it could possibly create a bad impression, thus figuring that tidying my room was a good solution. Apparently, people coming over to play video games are also there to inspect the house and gossip over how messy it is when they get home.

Anyway, that's not really the worst thing. I'd be happy if mom would just actually make the room look tidier. What really happened was that my room looked every bit as untidy as it did before she started on it...and I wound up finding lots of my items displaced. And given that she's effectively been through my stuff, I expect she would give me all sorts of queries about why I have this and that. Just wonderful. Sometimes I wonder whether this sort of sortie was not some form of casus belli so she can spot-check on what I have and fuss over why I have this new mouse or a new bottle of vitamin pills.

Naturally, I expect to find (or really be unable to find) various items over the next couple of days. Mom has an intrinsic right to search my stuff like some government lackey, and if she misplaces some of my stuff, it's really a factor of my natural messiness. If I misplace her stuff, I'm just another horrible person.

The Shaman

In the old days, there were the shamans. These were the storytellers, dreamers, speakers to gods and mediators of old. Perhaps the names had changed with the times. Perhaps even the duties had evolved to serve the new societies. But the role of the shaman is alive in a different form to this day.

It only stands to reason that our modern artists, artistes, game makers, novelists and others have come forward to take the places of what were once the combined duties of a single person in a simpler society. Still, with the mantle of shaman comes the responsibility of duty. The great responsibility of handling this power seems to be lacking, especially in those who do not even recognize the power of their positions. Of course, this is not unexpected in a society where the very mention of the shaman brings little more awe than would be afforded a snail eating a leaf. Then again, few still give credence to the speakers of Apollo

Living On Conflict

I think it's strange how I literally live on conflict. It's not so much that I need to get into fisticuffs all the time, but I do get a big rush just hurling chunks of my mind at others. Heck, even a good argument would be nice. Of course, I do get a sort of guilty pleasure from insulting people. Guilty because I know it's nasty and really shouldn't be done too often lest I offend too many of the wrong people. But it really is enjoyable to let off steam in a non-physical way.

Then again, there's always the outlet of gaming but that will never be quite as enjoyable. It would be nice if people don't mind getting into conflicts all the time and come out of it not taking things personally. I know I'd get pissed after being insulted, but I'd also forget it mighty quick. All in the name of good fun.

Behold! The Serpentine Mouse!

Alright, so I had a bout of consumeristic madness today. I actually went out and purchased the ultra-expensive (for a mouse) Razer Lachesis. Frankly, I was majorly turned off by the price tag at first. After browsing a number of shops, my perception of the mouse only went down because I never found a tag that suited my requirements. And then one kindly shop just had to hammer the final nail in the coffin: It had a nice discount on the item. Frankly, I think the price tag was a mistake (it was 15% lower than that offered in every other store, including the Razer store), but I'll give the tagger the benefit of the doubt =p

Anyway, the Lachesis has this incredible chasis and 4000 dpi sensor. I normally wouldn't bother with such things, but I felt a bit turned off "upgrading" from the 1600 dpi Krait to some other 1800-2000 dpi sensor mouse. Besides, the style was just there. I loved the "Bringer of Silent Death" tagline. Those who know me would understand.

As for handling, what can I say? The unusual shape was a major turnoff at first handling impressions (when I plugged it in, that is). I thought there was a problem with the sensor, given that the cursor had a strange feel to it, skipping about every now and then. And then I realized the mouse had a plastic sheet under it to protect the minty underside. Wow. I certainly did not expect that. After handling it for a day and some, I finally figured it was a worthwhile purchase. There's just a certain appeal to having that pulsating white glow on the back of the mouse. It matches my Porta-Navi. Of course, my one regret (if any) would be that I didn't know there was going to be a Red Lachesis coming out soon... =p

The Value Of Time

No one can put a value to time, precisely because time has no intrinsic value. However, there is a dilemma with this otherwise arbitrary measure of human aging: It cannot currently be regained. Therein lies the importance of using every bit of time to its fullest. The issue, of course, is that this is seldom the case, even for mortals. Strangely enough, the mortals seem the most willing to whittle their few years away for paltry recompense.

Perhaps recompense is not the word to be used here. Satisfaction would probably be suffice. They set their standards so low that paltry satisfaction would be gained for an otherwise irreplaceable portion of their mortal existence. I presume that the only logical explanation for this illogical action would be that these ephemeral mayflies seek only to hasten their end, that they can numb themselves to the meaningless drudgery of daily existence. Alas, some do not have the luxury of even that.

Spending Money

I think it is time that I got a new mouse. Let's see...it's practically three years since I got the Krait, and it's served me well. Herein lies the dilemma: Am I to waste more expense on the acquisition of a superior 4000 dpi model, or am I to content myself with the paltry (but otherwise highly sufficient) 1600 dpi that currently graces the pad on my table? It may be a point of pride, but it feels that I am but jogging on the spot if I did that, for I will be obtaining a perfectly identical model to the one I got years back. Hardly a worthwhile thing considering that the price of the item has barely fallen. I feel it in my bones that the time is ripe for a reaping.

Then again, I am disgusted at how the other models have the needless complication of additional buttons that I do not bother using. I think they really should consider creating a model that has as few buttons as possible (three), yet is as fast as the best models. That would greatly simplify my decision making.

The Stillness Of Night

It never ceases to amaze me how the average human loves the day so much. Apart from the sun's eye-piercing rays that flay the very skin from the bones, one can only wonder at the inexplicable tendency for some to stay awake at the unlikeliest of hours only to slave away. It seems almost a waste that they cloak themselves in light in the deadest of night, only to have it all wasted when nobody is awake to enjoy the illumination.

Of course, the logic of the human condition can probably only be understood by one of their kind, with a complacent surety that everything they do has an intrinsic meaning. Better yet, it only the sense available to the commoners that holds their sanity in petulant shreds, swearing that the way of the masses is the correct way to live life. Then again, what sort of life do they live?

Gerrymandering

Gerrymandering allows for an advantage to a particular side through electoral boundary manipulation. This is a potentially extremely powerful method to prolong an incumbent party's term of office. It must be noted, though, that there are limits to which it may be applied. Of course, a good way to prevent the exploitation of the technique is simply by preventing political leaders from holding office for extended periods of time.

In the absence of such, gerrymandering can proceed for extended periods of time. Still, these extended periods may not extend to infinity given the inherent stopgap nature of such a move. For one, the party concerned is likely to already be uncertain in their ability to hold the favour of the majority. Moreover, the boundaries can only be redrawn so many times before the population catches on. From then on, it's really a matter of whether discontent reaches critical mass and causes the incumbents to be voted out or forcibly ousted.

Che Sera Sera

Being blind to the future can have an interesting effect: The generation gap. By being unaware of the possible extent of changes over the passage of time, people have come to habituate themselves to what was normal at a certain period of time. This is typically when they were younger.

Now let’s zip to the Cyberpunk era. While it may seem to be a long time back, it is probably something a number in this current generation of youths would hold dear. That is, the long ranger hacker or underground hacker associations resisting the cruel Orwellian techno-governments. Already some of this has come true, with increased surveillance and branding information sharers as criminals and communists.

How about the future? We could perhaps have a future somewhat more similar to that of the Japanese, with widespread embracing of high technology and rather more general apathy. In that future, current hacker heroes would be seen as an anachronism and irrationally resistant to change. They would probably be stodgy old fogies than the dynamic messiah figure of today. Of course, this is all assuming that the world as we know it doesn’t end by 2013…

Say What?

There is one terrible thing about human communication, and that is human non-communication. Often, actions or inactions imply meanings that are not literally interpretable. An example would be keeping quiet. Depending on context (and usually inscrutable expressions), it could mean comfort and contentment in being with a person, discomfort and inability to communicate with a person or a plain unwillingness to communicate. Then we have the problem of responding to that, either by prodding or keeping quiet as well.

Perhaps it is so habitual and culturally embedded that one cannot conceive of a way to be upfront without hurting another's feelings. I could say "I hate you" and thus cause hurt, or choose to stay silent and hope you go away. Many of these "misunderstandings" are really more of a total lack of understanding given that at least one party will be unwilling to verbally or visibly express one's disposition. How then can communication be precise and thus effective?!

Visions

Visions may not be so strange after all. Visible light is but a form of radiation. Very perceived "color" is merely a way of sensing the vibrations of light. It is therefore not a stretch to think that some people can sense what others cannot. Evolution causes change, after all. Not everyone would be born with the exact same body with the exact same functions. There may be statistical commonalities, but these seldom if ever take into account the vagaries of chance. Unfortunately, the subtle senses are indeed subtle: They do not reveal things readily the way typical senses do.

Chains

Which would you prefer? Iron or silken chains? Given the fact that chains of sorts exist regardless the situation, most would opt for silken chains. It is also unfortunate that they think themselves free because they have forgotten how to perceive the chains. In effect, those people have managed to deceive themselves into thinking that they are free.

Perhaps it is more comforting to engage in self-deception, but it may be useful to have the occasional painful reminder of the iron chains. After all, it prevents the onset of unhealthy contentment in a less than ideal situation that can be improved.

Subtle Senses

I went to watch The Golden Compass today. I read the His Dark Materials trilogy quite some time back, so the memories are rather fuzzy about the exact details of the original books. However, I really missed the part about the armored ice bears. Frankly, that all reminded me of the Narnia film, what with the Queen and her polar bears.

Anyway, thoughts of The Subtle Knife made me think about the subtle senses. The use of subtle senses is apparently best without conscious control. Or perhaps it may be more accurately termed as logical control. Interestingly enough, intuitive things by definition do not work when logic is pulled in. That is because hard logic plays no part in the control of these aspects. It's sort of like how you can logically think about how to lift your arm through control of the muscles, but no amount of logic will actually move your arm.

Communal Celebrations

Watching the mindless masses swarming around the Christmas season leaves one to wonder at the sensibility of these communal celebrations. Sure, some call them holidays or holy days or even seasons of joy. Many regard these celebrations as having a "festive mood" and thus worthy of the attention.

However, this is all quite senseless, really. For one, people like being individuals yet adore throwing their individuality away just so they can indulge in a bit of sinful herd mentality. Also, time just passes and pretty much ignores whatever people try to slap onto it. A New Year's day or Christmas would really be quite arbitrary. You don't technically get a "new year" after Dec 31st. You just get another sunrise.

Perhaps all this is just to prevent people from feeling like dumbasses for tossing their dignity to the wind and letting their hair down at an arbitrary time. Big whoop, let's rave like there's no 2008 on Dec 21 because I felt like it! Given the nature of straitlaced modern adult society, such activity would be quite frowned upon or deemed silly. It's just too bad that people love to tie themselves in knots over self-made rules.

Watching Your Levels

In aesthetics, there is a great emphasis placed on horizons to be leveled (especially when there isn't an intention to unsettle the image somewhat). On the surface, this sounds perfectly reasonable. The human perceptions are reputedly so fine-tuned that humans are able to perceive when a photo is tilted.

This is all well and good until you realize that the human idea of level is not so much a perfectly horizontal true horizon, but a perceptual imaginary horizon that is drawn even when the picture isn't leveled. All in all, it is probably an evolutionary step to allow humans to be able to stand upright with reference to that imaginary horizon. It's terrible in other contexts, especially when you know that you didn't tilt anything, but everyone else insists that something is tilted in a shot.

Life's Tapestry

There is the comfort of comfort. Comfort is the opiate of the masses. It could take the form of religion, achievement, an ideal or any other lie cooked up to conjure meaning out of life. How true is conjured meaning? It may be a construct made to deceive ourselves into believing that we are enlightened.

Life is a tapestry of many threads, and we need to weave the threads into a coherent whole. It would be foolish to cling to a few threads and call it a tapestry. Much as doing so would be comforting, it does little to hold reality together. Besides, anyone with half an eye would be able to see that it is merely a conjured illusion to deceive oneself.

Of course, weaving is hard work. That is why some prefer to bank everything on a single thread. Yet without the variety of the other threads, a single thread breaking would be devastating to the coherence of the life in question. What would happen, then?

True Nature

I can preach about courage, but why do I hide my true nature? Am I alive? Have I truly lived? It is hard to live a half-life, being un-dead for having no life yet not being actually dead. A strange sort of limbo, and something that most would do their utmost to avoid.

What happens when one cuts loose, however. Does one lose the illusory self and become what one truly is? Many believe that it is to be avoided, for in doing so one is no longer oneself. But it could be far worse to become the mask, losing one's self in the process as well. Of course, there comes that need for self-control so as not to alarm everyone else to the extent that it becomes difficult to do anything without people fleeing in terror...

It's Obvious

Ok right, so someone cooks up a really odd theory about the presidents Lincoln and Kennedy. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylc=X3oDMTFtMXI2N3ZvBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMzk2NTQ1MTAzBHNlYwNmcm9udCBwYWdlBHNsawNGUC1Ub2RheUludA--?qid=20060718102928AADth6z&fr=hp
Maybe I'm odd or a conspiracy theorist, but it seems that nobody is willing to come up with an explanation for these weird happenings. Me? I don't really believe in coincidences. And when there are too many coincidences, it really should ring a bell in someone's head.

That much should be obvious: These two presidents are the same person! In fact, they could well be a variety of daywalking vampire. It all fits. Clearly, they have much in common. It is a common joke amongst immortals having little references to past discarded identities. I mean, these two presidents did come back and the loose ends were neatly tied in with assassins...who were likely accomplices! So yeah. If anyone really wants to see a significance in all this, they need only look towards vampire lore.

Guns 'n Surveillance

There can be few things as disturbing as knowing that humans really are animals that are incapable of disciplining themselves. Give them the right to bear arms and we wind up with shooting sprees in school (not that I disapprove, of course. It reduces the human population, after all) So in comes tighter controls and surveillance.

In a technologically advanced society, surveillance can go a whole lot further than it used to. Besides the classic spying on others with real spies, it is a breeze to use night vision equipment, telephoto lenses and even tiny unmanned drones to do all that. There are tagging technologies and magic eyes in the skies.

Despite all this, it must be noted that humans are animals incapable of disciplining themselves. The common peasants have proven this. However, what makes the elected leaders of these unwashed masses so certain that they are entitled to legitimate uses of violence? What makes the commoners so sure that their leaders will not be using their authority for personal gain? Bah. Humans.

If you meet the Buddha...

I suppose that since this koan preaches about killing, I'll just go with it. Sounds like fun to kill Buddhas. Of course, this would probably apply to just about every religion that preaches against idol worship. Like the Buddhas, the idols can be internal and external. They could be a golden calf or even that random false prophet that comes along and claims that God has changed Her mind. I don't really understand how one would really want to worship a golden cow or believe that their God is fickle, but I suppose I've been fooled by stranger things.

Anyway the whole point is that everyone forms false expectations. They hear hands clapping
and assume that one hand clapping has to sound somewhat similar. They see a gay person and assume that he would go around trying to seduce all men. Perhaps it is time to kill all these false Buddhas and at least work towards some level of enlightenment.

Break It!

There are rules to be broken, regulations to flout! So why are you sitting around on your law-abiding butt? Of course, some would balk at being anti-establishment. After all, there are always penalties to flouting rules. Still, nobody ever seems to question why rules are there in the first place. They are not just "there for a reason". It would be far better to know exactly which reason that was and whether that reason was valid in the first place. Hence, I think it is unwise for one to dismiss anti-establishment people offhand as troublemakers. After all, they may well be performing everyone a valuable service...

Koff Koff

Perhaps people have no common decency. Of course, since I have this wonderful absolute faith in the innate goodness of humanity, I shall have to assume that it is my poor fortune that has led me to have a bunch of humans coughing at me and around me...without covering their snotty gobs. Clearly, it is their gobs that cause the most trouble since it has the largest aperture and smell a whole lot worse than their porcine snouts. Then again, I have recently recalled that I did not, after all, have any real faith in the innate goodness of humanity or their pathetic plagues so I say: Cover up when you sneeze and cough!

Hidden Ovulation

There's this odd assertion that the ovulation of women is "hidden". Understandably, women do not develop all sorts of odd symptoms like swollen red butts when it's around that-time-of-the-month. However, it would be too hasty to assume that ovulation is hidden just because humans (mainly men) are incapable of sensing its coming. I think even a human would be able to scent the difference when someone is about to ovulate. If not only the sense of smell, then perhaps the weird feelings that pop out of nowhere when you're actually experiencing it? Or the heightened senses and certain friskiness? Well, perhaps some are just unwilling to admit it to themselves...

Cows Are Zen

Yes. Cows are zen. In fact, they are so zen that everyone thinks they're dumb. For any skeptic out there, one need only hear what the cows have to say to everything. Yes, that's right. They say Mu. For the uninitiated, Mu is also Japanese for void or nothingness. The cows have understood the ultimate meaninglessness of life and chosen to accept it for what it is. That is why cows have yet to organize themselves into a massive uprising to overthrow humanity: They understand that even if they succeed, it is all meaningless. Enjoy your steaks.

Idol Worship

Idol worship is a terrible, terrible sin. It is a sin of sheer stupidity. It is so stupid it just has to be a sin. Anyway, the whole idea is this: You make something, then you fall to your knees and kowtow to it. So maybe I'm a weirdo, but the thought of bowing to my own creation is a bit odd. I mean, shouldn't my creation be bowing to me? It kind of defeats the purpose, having myself take the effort to make 100 items, only to be bowing to them in turn. It would be marginally more meaningful to bow to a rock or a tree, though. At least you didn't have to take the trouble to make them...

A Creepy Moment

Sometimes, things just happen at night. Perhaps it's a bit of the third eye popping open at an inopportune time or something. Anyway, I was brushing my fangs at night and caught a mind's eye glimpse of a rather grotesque face. Now, that's usually a sign that something's up. That's especially so when the glimpse was that vivid. Then when I got back to my room and picked my handkerchief off the floor, it was covered in ants. Apparently, it picked up a potato chip that was swarming with the lil creatures. Creepy, perhaps. I've had worse when ants swarmed out of one of my containers a'la Stephen King.

Of course, it's the same sort of weirdness as having a drop of water fall on your lap when there was nothing on the ceiling, along with water dropping and falling in the shape of a rather interesting sign. Ah, the wonders of being where I am. heh. Of course, negotiation is much preferred to intimidation. Feeding off fear is one thing...but I feed off fear too. Doesn't work too well for some, does it?

Pink Everything!

How odd, that pink is chosen as the color of the gay community. No, it is not quite the community
that chose it so much as the power hegemony that opted to label gays with "pink". It's pink everything nowadays, apparently. Pink dollars, pink photography for gay marriages et cetera. My question would be: Why pink! I mean, if there's a color, perhaps we could always go with purple.

Purple is the land between red and blue. Red being females, blue being males. (don't ask me which dumbass came up with that color categorization). Pink, though? Pink is a rather feminine color, and probably would look more at home on the shoulders of lesbians. Then again, a goodly number of lesbians would not be too happy with that as well. Could it be that gay men like to wear pink? I suppose that would be odd, but it would imply that gay men are intrinsically feminine. Strange...I could've sworn that most gay men I've seen in real life aren't quite feminine...

Bimbo No More

The archetype of the bimbo is not far from that of the prostitute. A bimbo is thought of as a stupid attractive woman of questionable morals. That is, she uses her sexuality to get ahead, much the way a prostitute "sells" her sexuality to get economically ahead.

I see a problem here. The problem is not that intellect is something that one should flaunt. Presented with that idea, I would simply propose that women are on average smarter than men because men think about sex more and thus are less capable of focusing on the important intellectual things. Of course, that would sound downright misandrist and somewhat questionable. Not that it is a far cry from the things leveled against women that are taken as "fact".

The problem is that sexuality has become something that is deemed by our society to need to be closely guarded. Virginity is highly prized. Selling of the "body" (really merely selling sexual favours unless one is unfortunate enough to feel attachment) is met with scorn. Getting ahead with one's natural sexual attractiveness is somehow inferior to getting ahead with one's intellect. All this is a proposition to keep the female "self" for the male. Sexual and relational commitment must be reserved for one's husband, and virginity should never be lost before marriage. The "right" way to get ahead in life is through one's skills and not one's sexuality.

Perhaps some will not see a problem in basically being told to keep one natural aspect of the self shackled simply because others said so. And it is not necessarily a "natural" aspect that is brutal like going out there and killing things. I am for commitment and sexual fidelity, of course. The problem is that sexual fidelity works both ways. How strange, then, that a man who is a virgin up till the day of marriage is...not highly respected. A woman's intellect that is automatically discredited due to her gender becomes a commonplace thing.

It was found that an identical resume slapped with a female name would lose credibility in the eyes of recruiters. How, then, is a woman to use intellect properly in the face of opposition such as this? In the absence of due respect for a woman's intellect, what more is there left for a bimbo to get ahead with? Oh heaven forbid it to be her sexuality...

The Subtle Self

Most humans have difficulty seeing the subtle self. I felt that disability when walking around one day. I was dressed casually, in a t-shirt and jeans. Not something a rich kid would be wearing. I carried my pack as was usual, along with a sling bag. In my pack was a rather expensive laptop and a tripod, with a professional camera in the sling bag. To the untrained eye, I was just another passer by. To my wallet, I was lugging thousands of dollars of equipment. Were I to turn up at a posh restaurant, I would probably have looked out of place and rather shabby.

It is the same with the subtle self, that cannot be seen with physical eyes. It takes a certain amount of empathy and awareness to be able to spot what lies below the veneer of human likeness. How strange, then, that many are content to stare ceaselessly at that veneer, and deem it to be all there is to a person.

Housewife

What's wrong with being a housewife? Patriarchal society seems to have devalued domestic (women's) work so successfully that the very thought of a woman aspiring to be a housewife is...rather weird. The association of non-domestic work with "success" and ambition has led to scorn being reserved for such worthy aspirations as wanting to be a housewife.

If one considers being a mother and a housewife as unremarkable, unambitious work, one has clearly never considered where the population came from. It is the mothers who brought up the children, often in the absence of active involvement by the father. The houses need to be kept relatively neat for a safe environment that is disease-free. There is much that rests on the shoulders of a housewife.

Despite all this, I do not see awards or rewards for being a great housewife. Nothing noteworthy about finding a use for lemon juice on carpet stains. That much should be under the purview of the (likely male) chemists. Are you going to turn lemon juice into carpet cleaning fluid? It is this preoccupation with productive (money-earning) work that problematizes domestic work. After all, was it not patriarchy that decreed that the man support the house and the wife do domestic work without pay? Isn't the definition of slavery forced labour without pay?

Malthus Revisited

I've long suspected that Malthus was right, in that growth is likely unsustainable. I look at the fisheries and their massive hauls. I see the massive waste of fish that nobody will buy before it rots. I look at the supermarkets heaped to the ceilings with goods, and wonder at how much would be bought before the sell-by date.

The issue of unsustainability is not merely that of human needs growing faster than what the environment can provide. It is also a matter of massive inefficiency and the irrationality of human *wants*. Humans want more than they would likely ever need. In wanting money and to drive "progress", they rape the world's resources and overconsume what they steal. All this...to drive productivity of goods that people may never actually consume. How ironic that, in the pursuit of competitiveness, humans are succeeding at business and at killing themselves. They will not last very much longer. Of course, that is not the concern of the world. The world goes on.

Thou Thinkst Overly Much

I feel Asians think too much. With every action, there is an interesting preoccupation with "face" and what others would think about that action. Sometimes, it's even about having a thought. I mean, it's nice to be considerate of others' feelings but there's a line between paranoia and consideration.

I like the idea of thinking in terms of the self first. What one should first do is ensure that one can live with one's actions. If one's actions do not satisfy oneself, there is no point in trying to satisfy others while one is at it. I do not think there is meaning to exclusively pleasing others. What would concern me is that can those Asians think in terms of themselves as well as in relation to others? After all, they do seem to have a thing for balance and compromise. This would be a good thing to have, compromising between self-centeredness and being collectivistically satisfying.

Life's Puzzle

I feel like I'm living a puzzle. I have the pieces from here and there, but I have yet to find a way to put them all together. It is strange, since there is probably something coming that will call for my use of the full puzzle. A piece of learning here, a bit of lore there. I guess everything will come together with time.

Earning Game Money

It seems that economies based on money tend to go in certain ways. This can be seen in online games where players need to have money to buy stuff. Due to scarcity, some of the rarer and more desirable items will cost more. Of course, players would like to have that item. Often, those prices are so steep that no regular player would typically have that much money on them. What do they do? They wind up killing monsters to get money, or items that can be sold for money.

Strangely enough, that is precisely what many people are doing. Most people have real goods they wish to purchase, and go out there to earn money so they can purchase it. It's like farming for money, except in a non-game context.

Then some would ask why this is so, since playing games is fun and slaying monsters is not really work. Well...perhaps that is so for them. It would be like people getting paid for their hobbies. For most people, however? They do not work to gain skills (or "level up")...they're just repeatedly farming gold so they can buy the next best item...