Eating What You Kill

This just reminds me about how far humans have been removed from nature and their food sources. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070916/hl_nm/locavore_dc. It is one thing to say that meat is just meat. The separation between meat and killing has made many humans rather callous about just how the meat comes about. What? Kill animals for food? That's just cruel. But thank goodness I get my meat from a supermarket.

I think it's sad when people say to me that they're thankful that they have someone else to kill the animals so they can have the meat. It's a certain sort of disconnect whereby the guilt is transferred to the butchers and there is no longer any sense of responsibility for the life that was sacrificed to bring meat to the table.

Still, all of this isn't nearly as bad as humans who kill for sport. That is hardly sporting, and really rather wasteful. I'm not saying that pests can't be killed to protect one's crops. It's just that one really shouldn't go around filling random animals with lead just for the heck of it, or just 'coz someone wants another stuffed head in the cabin.

Loneliness In The City

I cannot help but conclude that loneliness in urban environments is self-inflicted. Modern big cities have an incredible population density per square mile, with enough people within a stone's throw to completely invalidate any argument of "loneliness". Yes, you can hit at least a hundred people within a stone's throw, even if you throw like a girl.

What is it about cities that makes people feel lonely? There are millions of people rushing about at any one time, with apparently nobody feeling the urge to stop and chat. Does this imply that the lack of small talk with random people is what causes loneliness? I think small talk is perhaps one of the biggest time wasters in the social context. Yet if one feels sufficiently inclined to crawl out of the self-inflicted morass of loneliness, one only has to grab the neighbour on the train or bus and irk the poor fella with small talk. Loneliness in a crowd of thousands? I hardly think so.

Urban Machismo

Some things really make me pity urban men and their machismo. One of them would be the “macho” field trip. First, they try to be rough and tough, climbing (and thus conquering) tall mountains. Of course, this would have been particularly heroic (and quite foolhardy) if they were to go it alone and carry their equipment while they were at it.

The reality is quite different, though. Those macho, macho men will find themselves shrugging those incredibly heavy equipment off to sherpa "guides". I think perhaps those urban dwellers should realize that the guides are merely there to keep the men from hurting and/or embarrassing themselves. It's one thing to carry comparatively light equipment up a mountain while being decked out in all sorts of fancy mountaineering gear. It's quite something else to be able to trudge up the mountain in ordinary kit while carrying the tents and stuff of the urban dwellers. So...who's macho, again?

A Loss

I am slightly upset over losing a necklace today. Granted, it didn't cost me very much. However, I hate losing stuff and especially the only black cord accessory I have. Of course, this is also an excuse for me to go jewelery shopping. Still...if anything of mine decides to leave, I guess I'll have to respect its wishes. Even companions go away from time to time, I guess...

My Night Visitor

I managed to catch a glimpse of the night visitor as it decided to pose for me in midair. Those things are fast! Aaaanyway, the bat turned out to be a fruit bat, and not of the vampire variety. What a pity. I would've thought one of my friends decided to drop by. Still, this flying furball decided that the bananas we hung up near the window were yummy and good for her tummy, so we regularly had half-eaten bananas in our bunch.

I suppose I blinded the poor thing with my camera's flashes, seeing as how the bat was in a terrible panic, flying all over the apartment. Well...I can't help it if someone invades my sanctum, dear =p

Going Batty

It's especially interesting to have bats fluttering into your apartment...two nights in a row. I was watching TV this evening when the bat flew past me and then back out the kitchen window. Mom noticed, too, and told me that a bat did the exact same thing in the middle of last night, except it beat its wings against the window in an effort to get out. This would be odd, since my apartment also happens to be on the 12th floor, and bats aren't terribly inclined to get into my nice, dark, dank place. Oh wait...perhaps that's why...

Besides, that could've simply been one of my vampire friends, so I'm not about to complain. Perhaps they'd stop by for tea this time, or something.

As a side note, I felt something I didn't feel for some time: My animal side emerging some. It's just that time period where awareness is enhanced, every sense just seems to come alive, and suddenly being around humans becomes something alien. It's a bit like walking amongst potential threats, having to be on edge at all times. Interesting feel, that.

The Scope

Another piece of the puzzle: A scope for the E510. Its specs are nice enough. Actually, I was agonizing over whether to get this one, or the newer kit lens with the same focal length range. I settled on this after finding out that it had a full f-stop of aperture above and beyond that of the new kit. I later realized that it had a metal mount, weighed nearly twice as much and was Made In Japan. Now, I fully understand that products made in China can potentially be every bit as good as one made in Japan, but cost of production is higher there and overall I feel that I got better value for money with this item. I mean, it's new after all and what more can I want for my current budget (short of them risky second hand stuff).

I really needed a zoom because there are some things that I just can't reach with an 84mm lens. That's especially so if I'm trying to hit something that isn't right in front of me. There are just some things that are pretty necessary 'coz you'd lack the capabilities without them, and there are other things that are "nice to have". A macro lens would be nice-to-have, but hardly something a student with my pathetic skill level would really need. I feel that quality macro shots are really quite gimmicky, specialized and have requirements for equipment beyond what I have and would get on a student's budget. For near-essentials, the final thing I'd need is a proper flash unit. That is, when I exhaust the capabilities of the body flash. I suspect the body flash can be pushed beyond its current limits were I to fit it with a suitable diffuser or a reflector. Experimentation time.

Lost

Despite having a syllabus that looks positively kickass this semester, I feel strangely lost. Or perhaps it's a lack of drive. I'm not entirely sure. I think there's just so much I can do with my time, and no amount of work I do within the day can amount to what I expect of myself. I know this sounds silly, but the feeling was only reinforced when I missed a lecture today. It's like...I may not pay attention during the lecture, but I feel that I have achieved *something*. That something which I do not have when doing research for this and that. Time to buck up, strap myself in and be antisocial?

The Martian

I got myself a Martian...tripod, that is. The new tripod is a Velbon Ultra Luxi-F. I think it suits my purposes just fine. The tripod is light (1.38kg), folds down small enough to fit in my regular backpack, can extend to reach at least my eye level, highly flexible and is quite sturdy. Then again, my entire camera rig is only 500g and tripod is rated for 2kg so I presume it will hold up. Of course, it also cost me, and I've probably run out of cash for the month.

But of course, this is probably the only tripod I am willing to lug about. Frankly, I feel like a dumbass dragging a huge tripod around exclusively because I'm on a photo expedition. With a tripod that fits in my pack, I can basically go everywhere with it and deploy whenever I feel it's necessary to make a great shot.

I especially like the pan head, even though it is frowned upon by some photographers. I feel it is nice to be able to selectively swivel the camera while locking the tilt. Of course, since everything's so light, I can just lift the whole thing and sprint to the next location if I spot a good shot nearby. That's something I wouldn't do with a heavier, more cumbersome tripod.

Finally, I wound up forking out twice as much as I would for the Manfrotto 485. But then the deal-breakers for the 485 were that I heard the lever locks broke easily, flimsy-feel, not having the ability to work at low angles and the low height of the overall tripod. Moreover, it was rated for less weight than the Luxi. It was a pity, since I really loved the pistol grip adjustment ball head on the 485. Then again, that was a fixed head and I couldn't change it even if I wanted to. Basically, I was getting what I paid for. So here's hoping that it all works out =p

A New Accessory?

Ok, now that I have my E510, the first accessory I'd really need would be a tripod. I sorta have my eye on the Manfrotto 785 SHB. I know it's hardly the pro's choice and probably not the most durable of tripods, but I'm on a budget and intend to lug it along when I'm moving about. So yeah. Here's to a backpack tripod. heh. I should probably get a heavier pod for more serious work. But that's another concern for another day. I hardly have the lenses to justify the purchase, and I can hardly work with a tripod I'm not feeling willing to carry around.

A New Toy

Right. I settled on the Olympus E510 for my personal cam, that doubles up as a project making tool in school. So far, I think it's a pretty nifty device. I'm still getting used to the functions and settings on a dSLR, of course. But since I migrated from digi point-n-shoot cameras, it isn't that hard to figure out the non-manual controls. It's just a matter of adjusting the settings so that practically every shot turns out exactly as good as I intend it to look. This is essential, since the preview screen is hardly the best way to assess how a shot really looks.

Anyway, the features that sealed the deal included the image stabilizer, effective dust removal and the live view. Actually, I don't use the live view much, but it's nice to have grid lines for reference and leveling shots when hand-holding the camera. Not to mention stabilization helps with hand-holding, too. Well, the pics so far seem decent enough. I like the colors on the daylight shots. Now it's all up to me to learn the ins and outs of shooting in low light, overcast and indoor conditions.

On Guilt

I guess it’s a thing that many females get caught up in. Yanou, the weird guilt thing. As if everything’s somehow your fault, even when that does not make logical sense. Hell, it may not even be a real situation. I don’t know why people feel that way, and I’d probably brush such sentiments off were someone else to say the exact same thing to me. Anyway, the thing is that I just feel bad about spending my mother’s money. I suppose the feelings are a result of just wanting to avoid hurting mom in any way. I don’t know why I feel so protective of mom, but I do. For some reason, I subconsciously believe spending that money is also a way of hurting her. This is strange, since we’re not actually running short of money as a result of my actions. Moreover, I hardly think I’m splurging by purchasing things at inflated prices. Perhaps this is because of the absolute value of the expenditures? So much to learn, so little time.

The Myth Of The Impartial Journalist

It is common enough in handbooks on proper journalism that the ideal journalist must be neutral in her approach. Facts are facts, and should be presented in an objective manner. However, it is also impossible for a human raised in a human society to be perfectly objective. In fact, any sort of objectivity is quite impossible. After all, the facts are there for the journalist to analyze in any way she sees fit. There are also factors to consider, like the financial interests of the publication,
political pressures and even the personal biases of the journalists and her editors. Thus, the idea of a real impartial journalist can be far fetched indeed.

The Hijab And Freedom

In the Western media, it is common to see the Hijab, or Arabic dress that women wear, is portrayed as a symbol of female oppression. I used to have the same opinion, as forcing women to dress in a certain manner and thus conceal their bodies seems terribly patriarchal. It basically says that women cause men to sin, and thus women have to conceal their desirability to avoid leading men into sin. I really hate the way such an interpretation makes it seem that women are at fault for being desirable and thus lead men to do stupid things. It fails to take into account the weakness in men that only men can overcome, instead of semi-metaphorically sweeping the problem under a carpet.


After some time observing how other women lead their lives, I am beginning to wonder if there is some merit to the Hijab. In many non-Muslim countries, women are portrayed as free and pretty. They are liberated in acknowledging their sexuality and expressing it. This is the rosy interpretation of contemporary female fashion. It seems to be an improvement on how women had to wear skirts and dresses and keep their hair long back in the Victorian days. Women's rights and norms of behaviour are a separate issue here.

However, the same does not apply to just any woman. Not every woman feels the ability or compulsion to dress in a manner that enhances their appearance in a way that is similar to stereotypical models in a Hollywood ad. Some have bodies that hardly resemble that of any model. Others perhaps have no fashion sense whatsoever and are derided for dressing in an inappropriate manner. Simply put, these women are being oppressed by the contemporary norms of fashion in very much the same way the Hijab supposedly oppresses Arabic women.

In fact, the application of Hijab-style fashion is a powerful leveling instrument. It frees women to worry less about their appearances and dress sense, and more towards cultivating themselves as females. Self-actualization becomes possible without reference to the context of fashion or beauty as popular culture portrays it. There will be fewer concerns about whether my butt looks fat today, or whether that dress fits me well.

Of course, such an ideal situation would only be possible through universal acceptance of the Hijab itself and what it represents. Surely some shapelier women will bemoan the plainness of the Hijab preventing them from using their inborn feminine beauty to help personal relations. Seduction is, after all, a natural advantage that some women have raised to an art form. There will also be those who scream about men oppressing women all over again. Or perhaps the apparent uniformity of the dress.

I think the issue here is not so much about freedom, as there are many ways to freedom. I would not feel free in a prison, though an impoverished citizen unable to secure regular meals and in constant danger on the streets may actually feel liberated through incarceration. The issue is the startling imbalance in the application of the Hijab, with men blaming women for being seductresses and imposing the restrictions on them, yet not imposing the same on themselves. After all, are not particularly beautiful men in danger of seducing women, leading them to sin?

Letraset Vs Schmincke

Right. This is more of a reminder to myself than anything else. I'm currently using two types of fixatives on my inkjet prints. (Un?)fortunately, I'm using gloss paper. Anyway, Letraset killed my gloss. I'm not sure exactly what solvent it is that did the trick (there's no ingredients list on the can), but now I have a nice matt finish on my piece. Schmincke's is alcohol-based, but preserved most of the glossy look after a light coat. And that's even though Schmincke's doesn't claim to be a gloss spray (most are matt by default). Hence...Schmincke. Remember that, Fenris.

On Rings And Faith

The sequence of encountering things can make a huge impact on how you perceive them. I, for one, have played the game Dreamfall before I watched the movie The Ring. (Yes, Ragnar, I think I know where Faith came from... =p) The incredible resemblance between Faith and Samara made me half-expect Samara to turn to the screen and ask me to find and save April Ryan. In fact, the feelings (pity, sadness) I had for Faith colored my expectations so much so that I did not feel any fear when Samara showed up. Of course, the ending to The Ring was significantly different from the ending to Dreamfall, and that's where the similarities fell apart.

Still, I cannot help but see the parallels between these two characters. Both are young girls, abused and ostracized in some way, subjected to experiments/scrutiny and ultimately died. It's a sad, lonely sort of death. Most interestingly, both girls caused some sort of chaos, death and destruction after they supposedly died, yet maintained a presence in the living world. Yes, lingering dead things aren't really that funny =p

You're Not My Hero

I do not have heroes, apart from myself. Yeah, I know that sounds egotistical. Still, heroes are typically not-me people. I do not see why people would want to grow up to be exactly like not-them people. Sure, one can admire a particular attribute of someone else, such as courage under fire, grace in anger or maybe even simple politeness. I hardly think one has to shape oneself into a virtual clone of someone else just to attain those attributes. I'm sure it isn't a healthy prospect as the probability of success would be low in this case. The failure to attain clone-status would also be potentially devastating on one's self-esteem. Anyway, so there. You're NOT my hero. I am, because I live my own life.

Pandas And The Human Breeding Program

Even pandas are being victimized by the humans' psychologically-inbred ideas of how sexes should go. It never ceases to amaze me how humans can rigidly attempt to force even their own intersexed young into the two sexual categories that they came up with. In the case of pandas, it seems radical, but perhaps is important for the survival of the pandas since they are an endangered species. Already, this was done (presumably =p) without the consent of the panda concerned.

This reminds me of what's being done to children who are born intersexed. While it may not be socially necessary for pandas to have sexually-congruent bits, this is a major issue for the children. Well-meaning parents and medical professionals may want to "correct" something to allow the children to lead "normal" lives. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem if the child is accepting of her/his lot.

However, there are also the issues of ethics and the child's opinion. For one, it is the decision of parents regarding their children's lives, with complete and total disregard for their opinions. In fact, it has traditionally been accepted that parents can make decisions for their children until such time that the children have reached the age of reason. I'm not so sure that it is acceptable to make such irreversible decisions on the behalf of the children, though. Being raised cross-gendered is one thing. Being surgically altered to be cross-gendered is something else.

Quit Sabotaging Yourself

It is not always that one understands what one truly feels. These unacknowledged feelings wind up somewhere in the subconscious, just waiting to trip one up. A fine example of this is when one finds oneself mysteriously sabotaging what one is trying to achieve. Like repeatedly saying stupid things at an interview, for example. Ordinarily, this should trigger some soul-searching when one is mysteriously setting oneself up for failure. However, sometimes it doesn't, which becomes problematic when the subconscious unwillingness to engage in an activity leads to a spreading internalized feeling of being an overall failure. Hence, be aware of this, and quit sabotaging yourself!

Pain Of Existence

People do not live in a vacuum. People have different ideas and beliefs. Yet it is bizarre how people within the same belief systems can actually have such strong, violent reactions against the out-groups. There are those who preach mercy yet refuse to come to the aid of those they disagree with, even though they are overtly marching under the same banner. It is understandable if those come from an entirely different background and induce irrational xenophobia in the paranoid bunch. What is unpardonable is that they would turn upon one another like ravening dogs should they disagree on a single point. (Pardon my lack of an equivalent metaphor, my canine friends)

Such is the pain of existence: The existence of others is a pain. Yet it is so that many try to declare themselves able to tolerate the existence of others...so long as nobody thinks any differently. So much for thinly veiled hypocrisy.

Moby

There are times when I feel like a whale. That is, I wander aimlessly about, wind up beached somewhere and then require people to bail my blubber from the sand. I suppose if there is indeed a leading force around, that force would feel that I'm this horrible blind slow-learner that needs to be dragged about. Otherwise, I'd just walk in circles in that endless wilderness...

Reality's Rainbow

What are the higher planes of existence? I don't mean physically up in outer space. Granted, it's a big reality out there and there's probably lots to explore. I'm really talking about the ones that exist just next door that we walk clean through most of the time. Some call it heaven, paradise, elysian fields and many more. All I can say is...those things aren't really "up there". Sometimes, there are cracks in reality that are readily perceptible. A shimmer here, something that shouldn't be there but is, and all those random quirks of reality that most do not pay attention to. Perhaps there are cracks forming in the veil that hides the mysteries. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but when a wall seems to fade into nothingness for that split second, reality's rainbow shows itself.

The Blessed And The Unfortunate

The blessed walk among us, and we don’t realize it. Sometimes life can seem so gawdawful, yet there are people who also have it hard in different ways. Worst of all are those who are under the heels of others, without anyone else knowing. Thinking of the "unfortunates" will perhaps conjure up images of orphans, people with handicaps, the poor and other "unfortunate" people. However, few ever think of those otherwise physically normal who are ostracized from society. Few ever consider the lower wage earners who are barely able to survive despite earning their less-than-minimum wage.

Also, there are those who seem more privileged than anyone has a right to be. People who are too pretty for their own good, too rich to comprehend or perhaps having descendants reaching from shore to shore. Nobody ever seems to stop to consider if they are truly happy, on the whole, with their lives.

Of course, there are also those blessed in life. Perhaps they are rich, poor, pretty or ugly. But what they have in common is being at peace with who they are, and what they have. Ironically enough, some of them may well be in the category of "unfortunates" for most people.

Irrational Laws

If I set a law upon you which is clearly irrational, what am I asking? Am I being oppressive and demanding that people follow my rules merely because I said so? Or am I giving people the opportunity to exercise their minds and come up with some way to obey my laws while not making life unbearable for themselves? Clearly, irrational laws cannot be given to people who merely ask for the reason for the laws with an intention to break them if they seem irrational for any reason. These laws also cannot be given to a people who are incapable of rational thought and will thus strangle themselves upon them.

Spider Pig

Spider pig, spider pig. Does whatever a spider pig does.

Now that's one line that will haunt me for sometime. As expected, the Simpsons Movie was every bit as funny as the TV series was meant to be. I do like the cheeky way in which they made references to IP rights while jabbing at how people are suckered into paying for content that would otherwise be available at no extra cost. The Simpsons has consistently been a mirror of sorts through which we see our own twisted society. I say it does a bang up job about it!

Moreover, it's noteworthy that they managed to incorporate a family theme into the movie, albeit in classic dysfunctional Simpsonian fashion. Nothing like the spectre of environmental devastation and destruction of Springfield to bring the Simpsons back together.

Great Friends

Sometimes, help can come from the most unexpected of places. I seem to be guided at every turn. Some friend mentions a particular event and suddenly I check and find that there's a fatal error in one of my plans. Or perhaps another friend pops out of the woodwork and then I'm like whoa! I haven't seen you in like *ages!*

One of the things I feel blessed with is having great friends. Friends who accept me for who I am, rather than what I am in relation to internalized social expectations. Nobody's perfect, and they aren't pretending to themselves that I am and that I am somehow obligated to stick to those ideals. I guess that's why they became friends in the first place. Then again, I tend to attract those who were misfits at some time, and for various reasons. While this may sound like a motley crew, and not quite glamorous, misfits are forced not to take for granted the acceptance of people in general. It probably fosters the ability to empathize with how bad things can get when one is in a very real danger of being spat on at every turn. Anyway, Thanks, Guys!

My Long Weekend

The hols are ending. I call the hols my long weekend because...they are essentially one massive long weekend! There is precious little we can remember achieving in life, precisely because we do not take note of what we have achieved. It seems so much more tangible to have that bunch of A's at the end of the semester, or the $2000 paycheck at the end of the month. It is harder to accurately recall that you had breakfast at 9am, chatted online till 10am, played a game till 12, had lunch and so on. If you threw 50 hours into drawing classes and never produced a masterpiece you kept or an "graduation" certificate, it seems to others that, perhaps, it never really happened.

Hence, I shall keep an event log for the next big hol. I want a full accounting of what I have done, and what I have not. For this one, I did lots of reading (titles, Fenris?) writing (where's the full work?) chatting (that's a given) but haven't learned how to play the keyboard (yes, yes...since a year back). Now, I wonder...was that really all I did? (Yeah, Fenris. Was it?)

The Burden Of Knowledge

At the moment, genetic testing is not a valid way to segregate people. This is because genetic markers are not reliably confirmed. However, once these genetic markers are able to be reliably verified, some have expressed concern that the markers would be used to discriminate against people in work, insurance and other relevant areas. Of course, there are the ever-present optimists who believe that the goodness in humanity would prevail and people would not be discriminated against because of something they were born into rather than something that is within their ability to change.

I would be more skeptical on possible goodness coming from the burden of knowledge. After all, people discriminating against others on the basis of something that's not within their control? One need only look towards the cases where people were born into slavery, a certain race or even into a certain sex. Yes, it may seem hardly fair, but massive discrimination may follow on the heels of the cure for cancer.

Being Sick

Sickness hits me in weird ways. Last night, I was developing one helluva problem. Head felt like there was a rock concert going on inside, fever brewing and generally felt weak all over. Not to mention an infernal stuffed up feeling and ringing in the ears. So I took the vitamins, some headache meds and then went to pass out early. Turns out I feel right as rain today. Seems my body has a habit of getting sick for a day and leaving things at that.

Death Of A Fish

Wet markets are one thing. Seeing fish jumping at a supermarket is another. Now, it's interesting to watch the fishmonger at the supermarket catching fish with a net and dumping them on the ice. It's something else watching hypothermia and asphyxia set in. At first, the first is flapping on the ice, apparently short of breath and struggling a bit. After some time, if the fishmonger hasn't already stunned or cut it up, it starts to lie still. Hypothermia sets in, triggering a violent convulsion. The fish curls up in a spasm, tail rapidly flicking against the ice. Sometimes, it's possible to see the life literally leave the fish, as the body slowly lies still once more.

Of course, the other alternative isn't much better. While the fish is still struggling to breathe, the fishmonger cheerfully brings a cleaver to its gills and tears into its insides. After finding the nice delicate bits, the fishmonger yanked them out and chopped them off. Then water is poured over the fish to rinse off the excess blood and innards. Yummy.

An Emptiness In My Sawdust

Sometimes I feel a hollowness in my self. It's like being a doll that does not have enough stuffing. Why would someone feel incomplete when there is nothing to complete? After all, if one knows one's limitations and what one never had, one should cease to desire it. It's impossible to obtain. Still, one cannot help but know there will be something out there to fill the emptiness to overflowing.

A Broken Nipple

I was puzzled at why one of the keys on my keyboard seemed to have sunk in. Worst of all, it was my spacebar. After lifting the key from the keyboard, everything appeared to be in order. I could not discern any missing parts and such. It was only upon close examination that I found that the silicone nipple under the spacebar had broken and thus lost a significant bit of elasticity. I then set about thinking about how I could get a replacement. It seemed terrible to send the keyboard in for servicing: It'd take days at least. Sending it to the shop seemed a poor choice, since it would only cost me a sum to service. After teetering at the brink of deciding to buy myself a new keyboard, I realized that I could simply replace the nipple with another one from one of the keys. But which one? A quick mental check revealed the most likely candidate: The scroll lock key. I prised it from the keyboard and did the swap. Thanks to you, scroll lock, I am able to type this today. Your sacrifice was not in vain.

Sex And Ethics

On the surface, "Eastern" people are conservative and not very open about sex. "Western" people are open-minded and liberal about sex. How does this correlate to the birth rate and population? Clearly, people who are "conservative" like sex more. They have more babies. Perhaps it is just more exciting to do stuff in secret, knowing well and good that it's just horribly taboo. I guess it excites some people. It obviously excited those Easterners enough for them to reproduce like rabbits.

A Rolling Furball

I was enroute to the bus stop today when I came across this black cat. She saw me approach, then promptly flopped on her side and started rolling around. I found this interesting, but walked on since I was trying to get to an event. However, I remembered that I had my camera with me and wanted to film her in action. After she saw me returning, she did the whole rolling over thing again, but got suspicious when I started reaching in my pack for the camera. It's a pity, or I'd have yet another vid to remember her by.

Black And White 2

B&W 2 is a strange game. It is both something I hate and love. For one, I adore city building. It's nice watching a city grow from its very beginning. But then it's not terribly nice having to raise armies to fight off this attack and that while enduring some fairly meaningless quests just so you can unlock buildings. I know it makes the game feel more substantial, but it certainly adds a nice spadeful of tedium to the overall process. Something can be done about this, methinks.

Aged Activism

It would seem strange that people gradually lose their urge to change the world. I think it is somewhere around the 30's, when some sort of switch is flicked. I cannot be sure whether it is because of a perceived "adult" responsibility to the inner circle, or whether people just lose their drive. Perhaps it is a combination of both. Yet there are some who do manage to raise families whilst doing their bit for what they believe in. And yes, something that does not revolve around selves or families. I guess it is naivety, that some still believe that they can change things as individuals. Yet I cannot help but feel that it is perhaps the naive assumption of disempowerment that really keeps everything at the status quo, nasty though it may be

Labour And Machines

Perhaps that is how the world of tomorrow would be: Machines doing all the work that people shouldn't be forced to do. Automated logging and movement of goods. Taxis without drivers. All the people have to do is think up ways to make better machines that handle more of the work. But as the prophets of yesteryear have failed to predict, that has never and would probably never come to pass.

Humans are a blend of logic and emotion. It is probably this blend that keeps them human. Too much logic and some claim that they become mechanical, almost like the machines. Too much emotion and they become animals, ruled entirely by their feelings and urges. So, in a world where logic reigns supreme, perhaps it is not a stretch to think that labour is being performed by automatons. What is surprising would be that the automatons were once human.

Dreamfall And Lain

I just completed Dreamfall, and can't help but love the tracks by Magnet... They really made me cry, given how apt they were to certain really touching scenes in the game. I know that on principle the game isn't exactly the greatest. I mean it's short and the navigation isn't exactly very good. However, it appeals to me at every turn. It's got sci fi and fantasy. It's got a lonely girl who's able to shift between realities of sorts. It's got an overall tragic ending. It's got a crow.

And that's where Lain comes in. Most who have watched Lain would already understand the significance of the crow. Lain's ending is pretty much bittersweet just as is Dreamfall's. Shifting between realities is a central theme in both. Lonely girl is a character I can relate to and both protagonists aren't exactly very social. Of course, being able to blend both sci-fi and fantasy in a single package is great. Pity Lain didn't really get into that.

Dreamfall reminds me of the fine lines between dreams and reality, and how "dreams" may affect reality at some fundamental level. Pretty much like how Lain's presence on the Wired ("dream" world) is affecting reality just as Zoe's affecting the real world by presence on the dreamscape and the static on the Wire. Two very technologically advanced societies! Strangely enough, both Lain and Zoe don't really know who their mothers are, and there's the distinct possibility that they're sort of artificial constructs produced by megacorps. Interesting. Moreover, there's a girl that died and got stuck on the Wire(d) in both stories...

Of course, accessing the dreams also reminds me of something I've lost, or feel that I've lost. It feels like I have lost the ability to "shift", metaphorically speaking. Not at will anyway. I guess these are some things that really make me gravitate to things like Lain and Dreamfall.

On Dreamfall

The thing about Dreamfall is that it is annoying linear. That is, there are those sneak around scenes that just break the flow of the game, seeing as you can't really fight to defeat the enemies and you don't actually get anything if you can and do. Moreover, I miss the freedom to go around exploring, playing with stuff and doing subquests.

Strangely enough, that is precisely what is appealing about the game. They've eliminated the possibility of getting lost, having to cleave through countless enemies and having to be a rare weapons collector just to stay alive longer. Truly, it's nice to play a game that does not revolve
around combat for a change. Actually, the combat pretty much feels out of place,
given how they're all easy and simplistic. It'd probably be better to automate the
tussles, but that would make players feel that they have no real stake in the action.

Ume Wine

Ume wine is an interesting sort of alcohol. While it may have 15% alcohol (that's stronger than most grape wines), it does not have the nasty aftertaste or bitterness of just about every other alcoholic beverage I've tried so far. Of course, it's nice having those umes in the wine as well. I care not whether they grant it any sort of improved flavour, but they sure taste good steeped in alky.

The Worlds

Perhaps there is a reason for the ancient
worlds to look so odd. It is precisely
because they are ancient, or rather that
they are new. Worlds that have been
around for times start changing, becoming
more orderly, in a fashion. I guess worlds
look like that when they are through the
Destruction, yet are again able to support life.

In the beginning, there was chance. Out of nothingness, choices were made. From choices there became possibilities. Thus formed the varied realities. Each reality springing forth from a single origin, and every reality as real as any other. However, it was such that the realities were made unreal to one another, that they would not intermingle.

The Dreamfall Dream Diary

Sometimes, dreams can be so similar to real-life experiences that one can't help but wonder. I was looking at this particular dream diary entry from some time back, and noticed that it seemed remarkably like a scene in early game Dreamfall. Then again, it's probably a cliched scene in the movie world. The part where a girl gets in the way of some no-nonsense guards who're demanding that she put her hands up, and then they shoot her when she goes "Wait...wha?" And after that, she winds up in interrogation. It just has to be in connection with her boyfriend, ex, or would-be boyfriend. That's essentially it. So the lesson of the day: Make sure you have a boyfriend, because he'd either guarantee you an adventure, pull you out of the adventure he led you into, and often both.

Earthworms!

Yes, I know I'm growing plants in pots. But it just so occurs to me that those plants would probably need earthworms. Actually, I'm not entirely sure that earthworms are the solution, since ants would likely want to visit and the earthworms could possibly suffer from those visits. But still, it's a nice idea. I've got a little composting experiment going on outside my window. Tossing any manner of bio trash out there, such as orange peels, banana skins, apple cores and the like. Still, I think that pile could do with some wormies. As for the seedlings, well...I just wish they would grow up faster. I note that larger seeds tend to beget healthier seedlings faster. Perhaps quality should precede quantity. Yup.

Playing Online

Started playing online. I know I'm slow, but better late than never, eh?

Still, it never ceases to irritate me how people always see intentions in what other people do. Someone sees a fine example of bad journalism and suddenly it's all attributed to a journalist's malicious intent. I mean, it's probably a perfectly good example of journalistic ignorance. That's unacceptable in good journalism, of course, but not every journalist is as good as the paper thinks they are.

The Purpose Of Sterotypes

Sometimes, it seems impossible to do away with stereotyping. Sure, most would want to get rid of stereotypes since it puts everyone in little boxes that have none of the intricacies of individual personalities. (Un?)fortunately, there are times when they are convenient, or even desirable. Strangely enough, some get a kick out of fitting in. And you need stereotypes to fit into groups. That's true even if you're trying to fit into a group of misfits.

Rebels With Causes

When one rebels, someone should feel good about it, and someone should feel bad about exactly the same thing. Well, that, or at least find it somewhat disagreeable. That may include damaging someone else's property, of course. Now, what happens when that very same act becomes sanctioned within a certain framework. We'd have...say...walls that can be "vandalized", for example (we shan't debate over how it can be vandalism when it's actually allowed). And of course, we'd have the big rock concerts some people call wars.

On a side note, my experiment with windowsill appears to be starting up again...it failed initially because I was on holiday and everything dried out. I tried again with some proper agricultural potting mix and peat moss. Strangely enough, what wouldn't sprout for 2 weeks in organic fertilizer appears to be merrily sprouting in another sort...within 3 days. Is that a seedling or are you just happy to have new soil... Anyway, I'm currently using metal mini-pots from IKEA. Dang are these things cute.

Aspie?

Perhaps being aspie is more a propensity than an affliction. Some people cannot understand why anyone would prefer to live in a world of words, living in books and peering at computer screens. They cannot understand how one can do without the intricacies of human expression and emotion, the sights and sounds and feel of being in physical proximity to other human beings. It never seems to occur to them that someone may actually like life that way, and it’s not out of a fear of social rejection or otherwise ineptness. Sometimes there is more to see than just humans and interact with them. There are perfectly good environments to explore, and nice stories to visualize in your mind.

888: Seek And Ye Shall Find

Yes. Seek. I was at the library seeking a book I’ve been tracking for a few days already. While browsing, I couldn’t find it, and wound up leaving my umbrella behind at the library. After shopping in the area for a time, I had to visit the toilet, but there were massive queues in the building. This meant I had to go through the rain. It was then that I realized that something was missing… After backtracking to the library, I thought it worthwhile to check whether the book was there. Amazingly enough, it was shelved and ready for me to pick up. I then went off to the nearby art supplies shop, and found inkjet fixative! Now that’s something I had been looking for for the longest time. I also saw willow charcoal, which I figured would be interesting to fiddle with. Not a bad shopping day =p

This would be unremarkable except that I was on the verge of leaving the umbrella behind because I was having cramps and I wasn’t entirely sure that it’d be still there even if I remembered where I left it. I hate making mistakes, and something this fundamental was quite unacceptable. Anyway, I spotted the inkjet fixative at the store, but it was the matte variety. I asked the worker whether they stocked gloss, but he said that they didn’t. After some in-depth reading of labels, I found the gloss fixative, albeit under a different brand. Understandably, the staff was a bit embarrassed when I waggled it before him, and he said that he didn’t know that fixatives came in gloss. Well…I didn’t expect him to know everything the store stocked, so I guess it’s pardonable.

The lesson of the day: With sufficient determination, seek and ye shalt find. An interesting thing to note, though: My transport pass had $8.88 on it at the time.

Silver Surfer Vs Pirates Of The Caribbean

In the battle of pirates against ninjas, it’s inevitable that the pirates win…if Jack Sparrow were anywhere near the battle. Silver Surfer? Not a chance. Now, I would say that the animation of the Surfer was rather nice. That’s probably the best part of the show. Apart from it not being true to the source material (which is acceptable to an extent in movies), the story was not terribly dramatic in a superhero battle sort of way. Typically, superhero flicks have a unique selling point: The climatic battle at the end. The final scene just lacked the sort of dramatic tension that should involve global devastation or the death of our superheroes…preferably both. It seemed lacking in that aspect.

And usually, that battle has to at least be partly fought by the superheroes. It’s all a part of what it means to be superheroic.

Besides, the title is “Rise” of the Silver Surfer. Watch the movie and tell me where the “rise” comes in. I mean, we don’t see the origins of the Surfer and how he became the herald of Galactus, after all. We didn’t even get to see how Galactus was personally putting the world in peril. The ending just didn’t feel triumphant enough either.

Of course, since there was such a glaring blooper, I just had to talk about it: Why was the tail rotor of Doom’s chopper not spinning? Anyway, C+ for this flick. If I don’t remember most of it, it wasn’t terribly good.

Now on to Pirates 3. What can I say? It was a barrel of laughs, though a tad less cheesy than Pirates 2. It gets an A- from me. Why? Because it is dramatic in the right places, lessens the tension a little with some mistimed humor, and it has Depp on the cast. The – came from Orlando Bloom. Blame him. Oh, and they killed a big character I liked. Guess whom…hint: Many tentacles, and isn’t Davey Jones.

There’s just a charm to watching the Flying Dutchman in action, Jack Sparrow wisecracking while fighting and having a wedding aboard a pirate ship. It’s just so much more appealing when it all happens at once.

Nothing much I can say about the movie that isn’t known, and isn’t a major spoiler. All I can say is that I laughed. A lot. And that’s a very good thing. Pirates win =p

That's Gross

The concept of grossness is a product of one's perceptions, learning and experiences, and is often perfectly illogical. For example, chewing your food, spitting it on the plate, then taking the chewed up muck back in your mouth would be gross to many people. Logically...that came from your own mouth, and a short time out of the mouth would not make the mush any more bacteria-infested. There are other times when the assessment of a situation is judged more by its "grossness" than by its real disadvantages.

Still, some things are still nasty, no matter how much scientific fact one has to the contrary. For example, the 5-second rule. Sure, you could pick up and eat candies that fell to the ground and laid there for a couple seconds. Most probably wouldn't, because it'd be nasty. Same with escargot. I wouldn't eat snail by any name...simply because it's gross!

On Fallen Angels

Have you ever felt like a fallen angel? I know I have. No, not demonic horned things with leathery wings. That's probably what they look like in Hollywood. No, it's more of a feeling. The feeling of having touched something so infinite, seeing so many things and then suddenly being unable to do that anymore. The feeling of being able to reach out and do whatever the imagination permits, and then reaching out with the will and finding it gone. There are times when I feel this inexplicable hatred against all of creation, and how it should be utterly destroyed in a slow manner that would please me. Yet during others it is like touching a tree, feeling its lifeblood slowly rising to the leaves and thinking about how beautiful creation really is. You can touch something and know more about it than should be possible through a simple touch. You can perceive things that the simple, crude senses should not be able to perceive. All in all, it is the nagging knowledge that there are so many things to perceive and so much knowledge already had, but it's all stuffed away somewhere. I guess that's how fallen angels feel.

If We Can Hate Communism, So Can You!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070614/ap_on_re_as/china_bush_memorial

Someone professes to hate communism, and someone's upset about it. Of course, "communist" regimes and victims of the same are bound to take issue whether the memorial is set up or no. I suppose it would be normal to take issue with a regime that "allows no political dissent", but then again, which one does? I don't think it's really an issue with "allowing" political dissent so much as openly not disallowing it. When it comes to national security, it's pretty common to implicitly disallow dissent. They won't say it out loud: They'd just drag people off to interrogations.

A Laser To Hate

Adults hate lasers. I'm not talking about pilots or other vehicle drivers. I mean people peacefully watching TV in their living rooms. I learned that when I first got my laser and had fun shining it into other peoples' living rooms. Some guy dropped by to tell my parents to prevent it from happening again. Just now, the same thing happened. Except it was some other kids having fun with their new laser pointers.

Sometimes I wonder why kids can't be allowed to have a spot of fun. It's not as if a split-second flash from a low-yield laser would do any real damage to the retina. Besides, they'd either tire of it or run out of batteries eventually. I guess people take things way too seriously sometimes. I mean, if nobody looks up when you're zapping their area with a laser, they'd not find it terribly exciting.

The Potential Of D'oh

Sometimes there are recipes. Sort of like simple instructions to prepare the perfect item. An item, such as a cookie. Now, cookies are usually baked from cookie dough. That's really interesting. Dough is potential. It could just stay as dough. It could also become that wonderfully crisp and perfectly browned cookie. All you have to do is follow that perfect recipe. Of course, everyone believes that the "perfect" recipe really isn't, and wind up preparing all sorts of half-baked and burnt cookies. There's something worse than not using your potential. It's using your potential and turning out half baked. How could a cookie possibly go so wrong...

Stingy Guys

I hate to generalize, really. But empirical evidence seems to support it. Most guys I know (who regard themselves as guys) are unwilling to part with their money under any circumstances except to procure hardware, get a gal or to make more money. Apparently, spending a bit more on a printer is undesirable (it's not ego hardware). Taking a short trip on a taxi is a waste of money. And yes, if you can walk the distance with a heavy pack, there's no need to take the bus. But if it's a health product they're obesessed about, or a hi-fi system, price is never an issue. I hear that it's coz their priorities differ, though. Perhaps there's some weight to that theory. Still, I'll go with the stingy hypothesis till I can find something conclusive.

On Fundamental Attribution Error

Sure, it’s a biatch. And it’s never more obvious than when one deals with parents. I can stand there to yawn and stretch, and suddenly I’m conveying that I am too free. I obviously am slacking, have nothing better to do and certainly don’t intend to do anything worthwhile. Interesting how one can be doing stuff, tell someone to wait when there’s a request to do something inconvenient, then be perceived as being selfish or lazy. Oh come on, I am *not* going to cross a room to make a phone call for someone else when I’m snacking. I mean, you’re the one next to the phone and it’s not in my job description to make that call. Maybe it’d be bad if I’m a phone operator, which I’m not. Anyhoo, this is in the context of moms, dads and hotel rooms.

Gripe time about dad: He wants everything done 5 minutes ago, and with curt and unintelligible instructions. Guess what? Not happening. Besides, parents never seem to see when kids do things right. Slip up once and oops…someone’s being lazy and all again.

Anyway, ‘nuff of the bitchin’. I’m back and all that.

Freedom?

There is never any true freedom no matter how one tries to feel free. Machines are programmed to do their tasks. Animals are programmed to survive, reproduce and so on. Even though some humans may try to feel liberated by not obeying the rules set by their (likely retarded) brethren, they are unlikely to be free from the urges of their humanity and limitations of their minds and bodies.

So you think you're a conservative because they appeal to your logic...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,227124,00.html

Back From Vacation

Right, back from vacation and I guess I'll be putting some backdated posts up when I finally go thro0ugh the gazillion pics I've taken there. Anyhoo, just finished Company of Heroes. Just another of those WWII games, set in RTS for a change. Frankly, I wonder why people just wana relive that horrible stretch over and over again.

Selfishness And Selflessness

There is a tension between selfishness and selflessness. The very act of following rules is a selfless act, submitting to the will (presumably) of the people around you. It can get irritating when you do have to follow those rules, yet it is also irritating when someone does not and winds up offending or adversely affecting you. I suppose it's the self-centred thinking that gets people this way. Someone else just has to be selfless so I can be selfish.

Then again, why must selfishness be taken as a bad thing. There should not be anything wrong with caring only for oneself, when most people do that. After all, pure collectivism is regarded with quite some hostility. I guess humans will just never be satisfied.

The Nose Knows

Melons do not typically foam and ooze fluids. This one does. While I was visiting the kitchen, I wondered why the air smelled especially foul. The sweaty scent of decay, really. I thought it was some leftover food, but it didn't seem to come from the dining table. Anyway, I followed my nose, and then I heard a weird wet-sounding hiss. By the gods, the melon was quietly and merrily decaying in my kitchen! Anyway, here's a pic as a keepsake, and a reminder to mind your melons.

Strange Warrior

I am a strange warrior. There are times when I live in blood and chaos, demanding to be bombarded with endless complications, trials and tribulations to vanquish. And indeed I do, when they come. Yet there are times when I wonder and long for peace and a straight road. Still, what bugs me most is that the outcome of even the victories are never perfect enough. Even the best laid plans fall apart on the field, and yet I persist on insisting on perfection. These can only be the desires of a strange warrior, or a mad one.

The Chalice

A chalice lies empty,
A hole at its base.
Never to be filled,
Hollow, unrealized grace.

Though gatekeeper permit,
No keymaster may pass.
The sealed dawn's lips,
A shadowed, sealed lass.

No fresh blood of spring,
Nor vibrancy of summer.
Only a lingering autumn,
To an eternal winter.

Potting In Plastic

I'm doing what they learned in high school: Potting things in waste plastic. Yeah, so I cut off some of my candy containers and filled them with sterilized organic fertilizer, put a bit of water in them and all that. They're currently sitting on my window sill, which is the sunniest place I've got around here anyway. The initial experiment was successful, and I had a very healthy strand of wheat grass growing in my sill pot whilst an entire crop perished from lack of sunlight in a larger pot.

Currently experimenting with mint and chives. Hope those things like my window!

Spidey...3!

I watched Spiderman 3 on the big screen yesterday. What can I say? It's Spidey! Then again, I think the pacing of the movie was rather bad. I do agree with my friend that the show seemed draggy. However, that was probably due to the contrast between the fast early action scenes, the long lull in-between and then another build up to another burst of action leading to the climax. I guess it just doesn't flow well. Moreover, there were some plot holes that depended on the audience's knowledge of the backstory, some of the characters were well...out of charater. My major gripe would be that they dwelt way too much on the sordid details of the breakup with MJ.

However, for an average movie that has the usual bit of eye candy and lots of action, I suppose it's fulfilled its purpose. There's the lingering feeling of the movie trying to do too much in too little time. I mean, it's a number of issues (in comic terms) to cover Goblin, Sandman, Venom AND the MJ breakup. I suppose it's understandable that the film feels like a bit too much of a jack of all trades.

Guys And Love

Right, this might be a generalization, but I figure I just had to get it off my back sometime. Tweener would understand. While I was watching Spiderman 3, the guys in the cinema were laughing out loud at the death scenes. Then when we got down to the scene where Osborne's butler said something like "I loved your father", the guys laughed out loud again, my guy friend included.

It's sorta funny to observe, how guys react to the word "love". When a guy says it to another guy, it's automagically a gay thing. But gals are immune to that, thank goodness. Makes one think just how crappy it'd be to be a guy, whot, with love being such a distant thing.

Living The Dead

Here's a video link about people, apparently civilians, getting gunned down at a military checkpoint. The rocket at the end seems a wee bit excessive, and poorly aimed.

Some people get upset when others die. Others don't. The reality is that they don't really care about the fact that the people died, but that there would be grieving relatives. After all, nobody really gives a hoot after they're gone. Or maybe my opinion's just colored by the fact that I don't value my life overly much and feel that everyone else should feel relief when removed from this dirtball.

Still, I think the grieving is left to the living. I don't think dead people mourn much. I mean if they're immortal they'd just watch their loved ones live and then go belly up just to join them. If they go to some sort of hell they'd be too busy suffering. And if they wind up disspating I doubt they're in a position to care anyway. So who's left? Just the bunch of living people thinking that it's a horrible tragedy that someone's gone. Well that, or there's sympathy for the people who have lost loved ones.

Anyway, I think the only real issue here is the ready use of excessive force and the apparent joy of being able to use it. I really couldn't care less if everyone died one day. But I'd care a whole lot if a bunny got tortured to death by some sick human just because he felt like it.

Progress And Carbon

So you wish to save the world. Sure, we could reduce carbon output and *prevent* global warming. You know, the global warming that's already out there. It's nasty, just in case anyone's wondering. Then again, nobody's really dying from it. I mean, dying in the hundreds of millions. There's no reason to panic, precisely because it isn't a disaster yet. In fact, nobody would do anything about it until it becomes a right and proper disaster, with irreversible effects.

So...what keeps everyone from doing something about anything? Probably progress. The newly industrialized countries need their carbon. In fact, they'd need more carbon in the near future. But then the developed countries need their carbon, too. They suck electricity like...well...you know. They can soak the losses, but they won't. Doing so would mean *economic* disaster for them. The sort that allows developing and newly industrialized countries to catch up and possibly become viable competitors. We do not want competition. Carbon pumps will stay.

It Works!

Well, actually, it endures. My computer used to have this weird problem whereby it would absolutely clog up within 3 days, and no program would load. I would be unable to so much as save an existing document. I figure now that it's because of a memory leak in some program. After uninstalling a whole bunch of stuff on a whim (including a legacy scanner driver and scanner program), my computer has passed its 7th day of operation and is still going strong. Seems like a fairly good indication that things have taken a turn for the better.

Arty Inks

I was feeling arty today, so I headed down to the art market. I bought myself a Nakabayashi NRC-A4 trimmer. It would help with my upcoming photo projects. I also got myself a set of waterproof pigment inks (3rd party) for my old printer. I am frankly rather impressed at the quality of modern 3rd party inks. Of course, I wouldn't trust them for fine art (I have a printer just for that), but they would do fine for schoolwork or other brute force printing. Oh, and I now have a set of sprays that will help keep my archival prints safe from sticky fingers, long nails and just about everything that commonly afflicts my pieces.

Ok so I was in a shopping mood. I think just maybe I spent a wee bit too much. But I do tell myself that these are durables and I won't be buying these things again anytime soon. I hope.

Intimacy And Separation

Sometimes, one can read another's blog and feel that one knows the blogger so well. It is a form of intimacy because of the way the blogger's life story plays out and how every update feels like a one-sided confessional. But after being so used to the blogger's presence, it can feel like a sort of breakup when the blogger eventually stops writing and the blog ceases to be accessible. It's like a friend of a couple years just decided to stop speaking to you. I'm sure the blogger will not feel the same way about it, since the blogger doesn't even personally know most of the readers!

Race And Gun Violence

Sometimes, few people realize how much of a blanket term "asian" can be. Say "asian", and I think of people from the far east. They could be indian, korean, japanese or even iranian. I mean, the term refers to just about everyone from the asian subcontinent, including Russians! It is a huge place by the traditional definition. Even the Persians (now Iranians) from the movie 300 are actually asian.

So in light of the recent school massacre, one may be led to believe that people of the mongoloid races like chinese and japanese are pretty much all there is to being asian. Still, it is interesting that nobody seems to really regard indian as asian.

This makes for an interesting scenario. Would those of the mongoloid races be defending themselves against potential backlash from this tragedy, or would asians in general be worried about what may happen?

In fact, why would a particular race or ethnic category be worried about being blamed, associated or become the victim of a hate crime as a result of what another member of that group did? This merely spreads the crime of one person to a crime that involves an entire subsection of humanity. Sure, you can wipe out every member of a race that committed murder before. But then what if the murders persist? No humans, no problem. Still, prevention is better than cure. And I suppose nobody's really willing to cure the problem of humanity.

So this begs the question: How would we prevent these massacres in the future? Some suggest that the *citizens* be disarmed. This is all well and good, and is a great opportunity for the armed "authorities" to simply stomp all over the poor unarmed peasants and readily exert their authority at every turn.

I think it is far better to abolish guns altogether, if people are so horrified by gun crimes. After all, wars are merely gun violence at a national level.

Reduce gun-related deaths? Sure. Stop glamorizing guns and their usage in the popular media. Quit making gunfire synonymous with "patriotism". There seems to be little honour in going to a foreign land to shoot people just because someone said so, or you're hired to do so. It makes one little different from a hired assassin. The same applies to violence sponsored by any other "cause" and with any other weapon. I can kill with a club just as I can kill with a gun, after all.

I somehow doubt the contemporary bunch would find that solution particularly acceptable. Then again, one simply can't have the cake and eat it. Gun violence can never be eradicated unless people simply no longer have guns.

Machiavellism

I witnessed the finest example of machiavellism since a long time back. Well, naturally, it'd be far too upfront of me to introduce the players in this game. But anyway, it was a nice bit of office politics. As usual, someone was being irritating and showing favouritism left and right. Let's call this irritant A. A was favouring B and that resulted in B getting a rather great appraisal. Unfortunately, C did not. After offending D too many times, D decided to reveal C's situation to A. Let the wars...begin...

On Crossdressers And Gunmen

Clearly, crossdressers are more alarming than gunmen. Or maybe it's because of the recent tragic shooting of children in school that people start becoming paranoid about crossdressers. Refer to this article. I mean sure it's nice that people can be vigilant about potential threats, but I'd think hearing gunfire is a wee bit more threatening than seeing someone crossdressing near a school. Ok or maybe my judgement is skewed by video games and thus I feel gunshots are more threatening than transvestites. Still, this highlights a very real danger in society: Terrorists simply do not look/dress like terrorists most of the time. I seriously doubt the Korean fella would appear to be dangerous to the casual onlooker. Perhaps it is time people learned to look beyond bags with the word "bomb" glowing hot pink from it dazzling neon lights?

The Printer Obsession

Ever since I got my new printer, I've been obsessing over printers. It's not that my printer isn't as close to perfect as I can get at the price. It's just that I know the operating costs of this thing is monstrous, yet I am unwilling to risk my beast's life by feeding it cheap inks. The solution: Get a cheaper beast for the lesser work. heh. Feels strange, but it's economical given that even the cheap inks come at a price, and that price isn't very much higher than that of a laser printer for schoolwork. Basically, my gripe is that, while the prints coming out of my printer are downright gorgeous, they run for the hills once they get wet. That is seriously bad given that my homework can get wet, runny and downright unreadable. And my notes never have to be in color anyway.

I saw this medium-format printer (Canon S9000) at a second hand store. It could print A3 and above. Not that I'd actually need one of those things. Still, it's a cool thing to be able to print A3 at home. But it's delicate electronics at a second hand store. Sure, it may work when I try it out, but there's no telling how long it'd hold out. I anticipate it would have encountered lots of wear and tear at the hands of the previous owner. Not the best combination for
reliable use.

Behold, The Less Fortunate

Sometimes we just think that life is crap. Frankly, it is. The key to contentment seems to be lower expectations. Still haven't figured a better way. Anyway, I was at a bus stop yesterday and met a girl. She was probably around my age, but she was deformed. I do not know her affliction, but she clearly had a speech impediment of some sort. She was unable to speak properly, and could only exclaim with sounds akin to what an animal would make. Yet she was clearly not retarded, as she could express that she did not wish to grow fat when I noted she was looking at my sweets and I offered some. Moreover, she knew what my cellphone was, and indicated that her own unit was of the same brand. Most interestingly, she could read what was on it, and understood that there was a function that could transfer files from hers to mine. Unfortunately, my phone did not have that function: Infrared.

There are times when I totally feel like crap. I still do. But when I look around, I find that there are many people who are obviously taking crap, and others who are taking crap on their personal lives and not showing it. I don't feel any better knowing that there are people out there who are more imperfect than I am. That would be taking joy in knowing their greater misfortune (by my gauge). I would rather feel that there is always imperfection, that can be improved as far as it can get given our limited abilities. That is not to say that I would authorize people to stay downtrodden when they were born that way. It's merely a sign of laziness to not try to make the most of what you've got.

The Printer Enterprise

This is the first all-in-one printer I've bought. It's the Epson Stylus Photo RX510. If you ask me, it may as well be the Starship Enterprise...or Printer Enterprise. Seriously, this is an oversized piece of hardware. I've never encountered a printer this big, and one would expect something this size to actually pack a fax. My biggest gripe at the moment is that the ink isn't waterproof. One would expect that such fairly high-end photo printers would have waterproofed inks. Apparently not.

Anyway, it's overall a spiffy thing, especially since I would usually expect to pay significantly more for something with these specs. Well, I guess it's a rather old model to be purchasing considering that it's already 2007, but hey it's all for schoolwork. And...maybe a spot of design and all that. I'm not a print/photo professional after all. I figure it's a good buy even though I'd be paying out my nose when I do reload this thing. The only viable alternative would be to get one of those unsightly and possibly messy ink replacement systems that cost a fraction of the price, but won't guarantee print quality.

Life Isn't Worth Living

I’m traumatized. I’m traumatized by what some people can be born with. It’s one thing to be apparently something that you’re not. It’s even worse when that something you’re not is determined by your genes. Genes that pump poisons through your body without your knowing. All this really makes one wonder at the extent to which one truly has free will, if such a thing exists at all. To me, it’s a false hope at best, given that no amount of free will can change what one was born as or born with.

Only in Japan...

http://www.globalaging.org/health/world/toilet.htm

All the talk of toilets in lectures. How about this, eh? In Japan, toilets aren't just toilets anymore. They're *smart* toilets. Anyway, just inspired by the scheduling of the heating and cooling of the toilet at fixed times of the day. Sorta like programming a bot to do stuff at fixed times, non?

300 Elysians

Yes, I have watched 300. 300 half-naked men with big shields, thick spears. 300 men *dying*. That's what counts, methinks. It can't be a good war movie if people didn't die in it. If I were to watch the movie as a movie-goer, I'd say that the story was mediocre at best. After all, the idea of brave men fighting valiantly, being betrayed, getting killed and all is really rather overdone. Blood and gore does not make a movie greater than it would be were there a storyline with more depth. However, I am watching the movie as a reader of the graphic novel from which it was adapted. as an adaptation, I'd say that the movie was excellent. Sure, they rearranged the storyline some. But then again, the graphic novel would look downright disjointed in movie form. There is no rewind for movies, after all.

I may have liked the action, but I sure did not appreciate the tactics the Spartans were using on screen. I missed watching them fighting in neat formations, their allies coming to their aid and the use of the great wall of enemy bodies they made. I personally find it silly to build a huge wall of bodies, push it over one enemy, then clamber over the entire pile just to get at the enemy. Total waste of effort.

Wheat Grass In A Pot

It's not so bad being barren. See? I'm growing wheat grass in a pot. It's pretty unsightly having empty flower pots dangling around, so I figured I'd get a pack of seeds to plant in that empty, empty pot. The neighbours aren't exactly nice, so I didn't think it particularly wise to grow anything that looks pretty to the common folk. I mean, grass is pretty, but most people won't appreciate that. They're also more likely to destroy colorful flowers out of spite instead of plain-looking grass.

Anyway, I got a pack of seeds, soaked them overnight and then planted them. If anyone believed that wheat grass was a weed, they're darned right. Only weeds can grow that fast. Within hours, I could actually see the sprouts poking out of the ground, growing like 2 inches in a single day. That's pretty nifty. I never really believed in dried seeds, after all. They almost never sprouted. Currently got an experimental pot with a few strands of grass sprouting from it. I sorta hope they start producing little wheat grass seeds sometime. It's the sort of thing that makes one feel motherly: Nurturing a little living thing, watching it grow up and have offspring and all that.

That's How The World Works

I find it strange that people like to act all resigned after (not) whining about having to conform. When some start whining about how the world works, it's common to the get the canned response to the effect of "That's how the world works, and no amount of whining will change that." News flash: Whining does get things done. But that whining must be paired with action.

More often than not, I'd see some frustration, then a flash of rebelliousness. Someone will get tired of The System, raise a fairly private hue and cry, then get back to safe old conformity. Yes. Whining won't help because even those who whine end up going back to conforming.

The world won't do a 180 for just a single person who refuses to conform. However, just as everyone's actions contribute to pollution, everyone can do their part to not-conform if they seriously want changes.

You Need Help

You know you're in trouble when you start believing that you "need help". Most societies are great equalizers. Nobody's really "special" because someone will feel unhappy when there are people more special than they are. Probably a human thing. But even a "human" thing can go too far. It's absurd, the lengths to which some may need social validation to be who they are. Yes, one may not live in a vacuum and needs some degree of social contact for a healthy psyche. However, if one decides to stand alone and say "I am myself", many will not be content to leave it at that, but will "helpfully" chip in to point out that everyone *needs* other people and so on. Hence, self-validation is not terribly valid if nobody else agrees to it. For example, saying "I am smart" does not mean much if everyone else just believes you're ordinary, or even stupid. (I bet some would believe "I am smart" is a stupid thing to say in the first place). It would be wonderful if one could just do that, mean it, believe it and not be bothered when gangs of painfully mediocre humans start sneering stupidly and snidely declaring that you're not really that smart. If ye ask me, I'd say those are the people who need help.

Fly Agaric And You

Why is there a timer in the Super Mario games? Well...sometimes people pop some fly agaric, get high and slip into Super Mario Land for a short stretch of time. Once the stuff passes out of the system, poor Mario slips out of Super Mario Land. Yes, that's exactly why he looks startled and promptly jumps off the screen. No, eating mushrooms in-game won't work, precisely because none of that is actually real. It's like this super long dream where you keep realizing that the princess is in another castle, and some highs last long enough that you actually do get to save the princess. Otherwise, it just becomes another bad trip, and Mario wakes up feeling a tad nasty. Poor guy.

Are You Crazy?

Sometimes, madmen see (or claim to see) things that nobody else can. It's all well and good if you see things that toss pots and pans around your house. People can relate to that kinda thing. It's not quite so good if you see some great being that causes hurricanes sometimes, but not always. You can't tell people for sure that the hurricane will come. And then people figure that since there's no regularity or certainty to those perceptions, you just have to be mad. Or is it that the entire world's mad because they refuse to see what's so big and obvious?

Interestingly enough, human perceptions are limited to what they can sense and what they can understand. Nobody really knows or cares why toast falls buttered-side down. It just is. If someone told them that there's an invisible ghoul that does it, they'd probably think it's hogwash. Nobody's ever seen a ghoul out of Hollywood. However, if someone tells them that something insubstantial like "Luck" did it, a goodly number would believe that someone. That's probably why diseases were always blamed on witches. There are times when people have bouts of sanity and realize that there are those who walk amongst them who can do things that they never thought possible.

An Epic Waste Of Time And Money

Yes, Epic Movie was a total waste. Sometimes, it feels like I'm watching a movie made by teenage boys. The jokes really have that much finesse. Sure, I'd laugh at some moments, but it's mostly low-grade slapstick stuff. I never thought that I'd give a negative rating, but if there's a movie that deserves it, it's the Epic Movie. For one, who would've thought that a movie would look like it was cobbled together in a garage somewhere? I mean stunt doubles can appear on screen for comic relief, but only if it's obvious to the audience that it's meant as a joke. Otherwise, it's just an indication of the lack of care that the producers are putting into producing this flick. Seriously, I would tire my fingers trying to list every single thing I think is bad about this show, and I'd basically be narrating the entire movie. Maybe it really was made by a bunch of teenage boys in a garage. Bite me.

The Death Of Cap

It is strangely apt, the timing of the death of Captain America. Sure, fans will hate it. It is terrible that a symbol of American patriotism has died. However, does the real thing still exist? Can a symbol exist independent of the reality that spawned it? Captain America was a true blue, red and white stars and stripes hero. He came around as the result of a super soldier project to defend his country against its enemies. He has been put on ice, abused and finally killed.

Perhaps something has died. Perhaps some of the freedom that Cap represented, that he fought for, has died. After all, times change and things pass on. In this modern day and age, people take their freedom for granted. A stars and stripes patriot has no place in the era of political finesse
, where might does not make right, and where policies are best thought up by the leaders than garnered from the opinions of the people. He certainly has no place here anymore. Rest in peace, Captain America.

Chasing The Company

I have submitted an application towards joining a major game company on internship. Here goes, for days of serving up coffee, mopping up spills and possibly doing nothing related to game making. It always seems that interns get all the weird stuff that no regular staff ever gets to handle. Then again, if one pays attention, one can learn stuff that no part-timer staff will ever get to learn. Besides, having worked for a major game company gives one a certain measure of bragging rights. I worked at XXX Game Company before! Sure beats trying to convince people that a stint at Unheard Of Co. is even worth noting. At the very least, I could get staff discounts on the games they publish. =p

Patriarchy And Oppression

As it's been written before, I'm inclined to believe that there is a link between patriarchy and oppression. And this oppression applies to both sexes. For some reason, matriarchal societies seem more tolerant of non-conformity to established gender norms. That would, I believe, put men in a better position than they are in now: Struggling to put themselves squarely within the subtle demarcation that keeps their "normal" label safe. I don't know how others feel, but it does seem rather sad that something as simple as asking for directions can be viewed as something "unmanly".

Violence is another major issue that seems to be associated with men in patriarchal societies. I personally believe this is somehow related to the violent conquering cultures that were patriarchal. For Darwinian reasons, the "softer", intellectual cultures were either overtaken by tyrants or overrun by tyrants. Not a terribly good way to go, but I guess it's the law of the jungle. Might doesn't make things right, however. It would be nice, though, if people were to discover their gentler sides and cease thinking that only hard ways are truly effective.

Constructs As Law

Humans regard many things as law. Many of those things are social constructs. In fact, many "procedures" are social constructs. By that logic, judges are absolutely forbidden to laugh and joke in court. Obviously, people who are capable of showing humor in serious situations cannot be taken seriously. Their judgement is clearly impaired and they should not be placed in positions of power. We are not permitted to laugh at the dead and kick their rotting meat around because they used to be living, breathing people.

Much of it doesn't make sense. Social niceties like politeness can escalate to violence when people do not adhere to modes of polite conduct. People turn illogical once their nicely laid out and perfectly irrational expectations are not met. At best, they can attribute an initial slight to the fact that the person is a child, new or foreign. However, they expect people to change to suit them. How unusual.

Life Is Fragile

It's strange. There was this neighbour who sorta grew up with me. He was around my age, grew older, got a girlfriend and died in a motorcycle accident. When large numbers of people die over time, they become a statistic. There are so many traffic accidents that we occasionally forget that it's people who're dying in the accidents. Well anyway, another one bites the dust. I guess I feel more about friends and acquaintances that die 'coz they're people and not titles. First uncle died. Another uncle died. But people didn't die there. They were just "uncles" and stuff. But if the person's related in another way, perhaps as "friend", things are different. There's a personal stake in whether the person exists or just fades away. That's that.

Nature, Nurture And Criminals

A psychologist said that humans were 100% nature, and 100% nurture. That is, it is impossible to separate nature from nurture in humans as the two are so closely intertwined as to be inseparable. However, there is a widespread belief that there are inviolate "essential" behaviours in people that are not modified by nurture.

"Once a thief, always a thief" would be one of them. If someone were found to have the propensity to steal, no amount of reformation anywhere would change that. Yet there is the allegation that people "can change" and there is a fear that religious indoctrination can change peoples' essential natures.

All this just seems to be a judgement of convenience. It is easier to say that a criminal is always capable of criminal acts than it is to say that I just don't like him 'coz he stole money before. Doing so would appeal to peoples' "common sense" that some things are inbred and cannot be changed. Of course, such "inbred" behaviours can be changed by negative things like violent extremist religious indoctrination.

If this internalized belief of many people were to be lent any weight, it can be surmised that it is the essential nature of people to be evil or violent or destructive. That's because even "good" people are believed to be able to become corrupted criminals, yet "bad" people will never turn over a new leaf.

Symbolism And Idolatry

Humans live by symbolism. Lines on the ground can mold peoples' journeys as they try to stay within the lines or perhaps on the lines. Religion is rife with symbolism. Christians frown on idolatry, believing that people bowing to graven statues to be worshipping false gods. Of course, not everyone believes that their lumps of stone would actually do things to change the world. However, what of christians who bow to their crosses?

After all, crosses are just symbols, representing the sacrifice, etc etc. Surely the act of bowing to them would not count as worship. Interesting, since that's what "idol worshippers" do. Surely bringing monetary sacrifices before a cross is not an offering to it. Strange, since that's where idol worshippers burn their incense: Before an idol, often at an altar. And of course, surely nobody prays *to* the cross... Sometimes I wonder if christians take the cross as a conduit to their God. Sort of praying *through* the cross, perhaps using it as a megaphone of sorts.

It is difficult to tell what goes through peoples' minds when they pray. Are they praying to their God, praying through an image to their God, or just praying to the image? I suppose they'd deny praying to images, given the stigma attached to that act. Still, when does one cross the line from symbolism to idolatry?

Bad Impressions?

Sometimes it's difficult to know what people are thinking. It's so simple to drive people away with a single sentence, or a vague vibe that they pick up. I wonder if it's worthwhile to bother with such people. On one hand, they're clearly not making an effort to get to know me better. On the other hand, they probably have reason to be this wary. I really don't know, 'coz I hate to get people turned off, yet I do not want to associate with people whose perceptions can hinge on a single impression.

Cognitive Development

Though it may be assumed that cognitive development occurs as a person ages, there are areas where such development isn’t stressed. In fact, “childish” perceptions aren’t entirely eliminated even in adulthood.

A child may think that a tall glass of milk would have more liquid than a shorter, broader glass with an equivalent amount of milk. Adults would find this amusing, perhaps even silly. However, at restaurants, similar techniques are used to make food appear more substantial, giving customers a “good” feeling. Sure, adults would deny that they’re fooled, but it seems rather likely that this happens only after some disinterested analysis.

Hence, it may be thought that much of adult cognition is an overlapping of instinctive perceptions with experiential or conditioned responses to specific phenomena. After all, even people living in modern societies governed by science still have sneaking suspicions that there is luck at work here and there. Bad things may happen with apparently unusual frequency and no amount of conditioning can prevent the associations made when a lucky coin suddenly seems to make those bad things go away.

Fun Game-Inspired Campaigns

Heroes For Better Item Drops
Heroes For Safer Work Conditions
Zombies Have Rights, Too!
Undeads Have The Right To Exist
Monster Union: We May Be Ugly, But We're Not Evil

Involvement And The Media

Humans are programmed to respond emotively to things that are perceived as human to them. A dog is not human to most people. However, when humans perceive them as a sort of human (a pet), they treat the dog as if it were another human. For example, a pet owner is unlikely to just toss the dead dog into the trash. Likewise, involvement is essential when consuming media.

There have been suggestions that game characters aren't personally identified with as much as movie characters. This is likely since gamers are given agency to determine the storyline. It is possible that the player character's real personality isn't fully formed in order to afford this degree of agency, and thus there isn't a fully established personality to empathize with. Moreover, movie characters are invariably more "realistic" in that they involve "real" people instead of animated sprites. Being more "human", these characters appear to be easier to relate to.

Hence, involvement appears to be determined to a large extent by the perceptions consumers have of the media personalities. If the personalities are viewed as incomplete or unrealistic, involvement decreases. However, the fact that games occasionally have fleshed-out characters that are seemingly human-like yet are unrelistically rendered indicates the possibility that visual aesthetics may not be as powerful as some suggest.

Connective Time

I noticed that, as time passed, I find increasing amounts of my time being taken up by connective time. That is, waiting in line for this and that, waiting, waiting, waiting. People get late. Traffic jams. Lying around on the sofa induces unwanted naps. There are queues everywhere. It is not surprising that people find themselves wanting for time. In fact, if connective time could be fully utilized, I dare say that people would find remarkable amounts of personal time that is available for leisure and other activities. I really have no patience for those people who sit down on the trains apparently doing nothing while waiting for their stop. I find myself doing that from time to time, and and it just seems like a horrible waste.

Helping The Less Fortunate

If one isn't plagued by the extreme misfortune of truly being right at the bottom of the social ladder, there likely is some surplus that can be spared for the unfortunates all around. Perhaps a pack of sweets to enable a vagabond to have something special for one of the holidays. Or something small like a donation to the less fortunate. One doesn't have to sell one's house and all belongings and donate them to someone or someones just to be charitable.

Understandably, some street urchins are plain lazy or are potentially dangerous. Yet there are times that one may feel that they are lazy precisely because nobody is willing to give them a shot at life. If there's nothing to strive for, there's no real reason to strive. When one is convinced that the situation is hopeless, there's a chance that one simply stops trying.

The Life Of a Student

It's interesting to be a student. There's allowance coming in from a provider that isn't your boss (not in the boss-employee way). There's also the case of being unable to find the time to really do the things that one should do. For one, I can never seem to find the time to tidy my room. I can spare the time to go out with friends, watch movies, take naps and do homework, but never the time to tidy my room. Honestly, it’s a lost cause. I tidy the place, and then get so caught up in work that I basically dump the notes in a handy corner after use. Being roughly in the center of the room also means that my notes are winding up along some pathway that leads through the room. At a glance, I’d say that my room is clearly a disaster area. I can really tidy everything up in a twinkling, but the mess would rapidly return till my semester ends. If only mom would quit nagging about how my room should be neat and all. The only way I know to achieve that involves not doing any real work in my room.

Adults Hate Play

All that is fun is frowned upon in the world of the adults. After all, it's far easier to approve of "serious" things like wars and taxes and everything else that just isn't "fun". The world would likely collapse if people wouldn't work enough overtime and people decided that they should golf as much as their senior managers. Gaming addiction is clearly problematic as people have found that playing (and hedonistic consumption) are clearly more desirable than the "serious" world they are forced to conform to. It would seem logical that, besides the practical considerations of being "serious", play and fun are just things that should be left to the kids. Kids are afforded special rights.