Them Democracies

A democracy is difficult to manage. If we have to poll the population every time a decision is to be made, no timely decisions can be made. Hence, the "experts" are left to make the decisions on the behalf of the people who voted them. What, however, happens if the people decide that the elected governors are making decisions that are not in accordance to popular opinion? People like to leave things be when they can. If a decision is largely unpopular yet not intensely bad enough to forment dissent, then it will not be opposed. Thus the beginning of an inching towards control of the public the government was elected to serve. Out of fear of creating instability, the tenuous position of a government approaching authoritarianism is maintained by maintaining the status quo as far as possible. "Deviant" populations are not supported. Minorities are marginalized. And all this to satisfy the majority. Because of the reality of the difficulty of polling the public, the government feels free to guess at what the population really wants. If the people insist on remaining silent on everything from discrimination to wars, then there will be no end to the problem of "democratic" leadership. Democracy is a lofty goal that has never been truly extant.

Goodbye, Steve Irwin

What a way to start a day. I never expected Steve Irwin to go like this, really. A modern day Croc Dundee minus the bowie? I expected something like a serious crocodile mauling or perhaps a black widow spider at least. One in a billion. Guess that suits a guy like him anyway. Let's not go out the usual way, eh? I'll miss you, and all those wonderful shows and stuff. I still can't believe you're gone. Crikey!

Expensive Paper

Why is glossy photo paper so much more expensive than regular paper? Because the quality really shows! I had two printouts at the same max quality level that my printer can handle, and the one on "regular" paper was all washed out, and the one on gloss paper was a whole lot more vibrant. Looks like I'll be using that as an investment for my school projects. Print quality counts!

Modern life is built upon exploitation. If it isn't the unpaid labour of humans, it's the unpaid labour of machines. Machines work without pay, and the non-pay works out to cheaper goods and fat company accounts. Machines replace human labour, but the humans aren't getting paid for not working. Hence, we have the wonderful scenario where increasing numbers of humans are being gainlessly unemployed. Humans are inventing themselves out of work. Worse yet, they're inventing themselves out of their own incomes.

Our generation comes from a race of conquerors. One must dominate to be considered to be successful. Power becomes the measure against which humans are gauged. Interestingly, power is no longer by brute force alone, even though some persist in believing that military might will solve everything. Perhaps it is time that humanity realized that its two halves are really equal, and should use their natural expertise to the fullest extent possible.

People And Insecurities

Insecurities are mostly illogical. One can be otherwise whole yet harbour fears that debilitate. We constantly worry about whether our boobs are large enough, dongs dangly enough, waist small enough, skin young enough, and all manner of unusual dysmorphic perceptions of our bodies. Society is a bad influence on people! In its quest to portray and promote the image of the perfect person, regular, imperfect people are being driven into the ground by self-esteem issues. It is time that people accepted that some imperfections are perfectly normal, and that it is not necessary that women stay young all through their lives, and that men stay fit and strong through theirs. I'd say that it is better to have small boobs and be cancer-free, for example.

Charger, Camera, Action!

I just bought an expensive battery charger for myself. It's the Sony 2700mAh NiMH battery charger. Well, it's really because I bought a digicam a couple days back. So far, the charger seems to be doing its work properly.

Products like these prove that looks do sell. I bought this because it is the only available charger in my area that handles 2700mAh batteries, has a graphical progress meter (big plus) and looks great (the deal clincher). Moreover, it's able to charge AA or AAA batteries in any combination.

I'm currently experimenting with charging batteries of different brands in the same charger. Sure, the user manual says that's a no-no, but I think physics will overrule sales gimmicks. I note that the batteries are charging as per normal and are not heating up more than they should. That's a good sign. The charger isn't malfunctioning either.

Product descriptions are deceptive! For one, most products have highly optimistic specifications on their product descriptions. They're technically true even though they usually don't work out on paper. People still buy these things because most don't bother to do their own information hunts, which may turn up information planted by people hired by the company concerned anyway.

Living On Borrowed Cultures

The world has a culture. Every culture extant in the world contributes towards this collective culture. One should avoid shunning every other culture just because one believes that one hails from a particular culture. To do so is limiting and often leads to negative discrimination. It is often this obsession with history that causes bigotry and cultural snobbery. If one has the discipline to do so, one should learn to take the best (according to one's gauge) out of every culture encountered and thus improve the culture one is in. Otherwise, the culture would stagnate within the confines it sets for itself and would have a hard time growing.

Adopting aspects of other cultures does not denote losing one's heritage. On the contrary, it adds to one's heritage, for this enables future generations to have more under them than merely what they, as a race, started off with.

One's self identification should not come from the mere sense of belonging to a "community". Chances are that this said "community" would constitute but a fraction of what the world has to offer. It is sad that one can feel lost, uprooted or aimless merely because one does not anchor oneself in the culture of one's ancestors. This is especially true given that the real "culture" in the world is world culture. The problem is that many people have a hard time perceiving this, and choose instead to segregate themselves into cultural cliques, attempting to preserve their cultural "heritage". While easy to maintain, this siege mentality can only lead to the establishment of an "us" and "them", possibly with an unhealthy focus on excluding the "other".

New Hairdo, Camera

I went to the hairdresser's and got myself a butch hairdo today. The weather is really too warm for anything else. Moreover, that hair trim was kinda necessary for other reasons. The hairdresser was really skilled when it came to getting the hair done properly, though.

Went shopping all afternoon just to get the digicam that I figured I could live with. It's harder than it seems, really. The first cam I saw in my (really tight budget) price range was this Panasonic Lumix LS2. I had this strange gut feeling that it was affordable, but not quite the best I could get at that price. I went along to another shopping center full of shops selling digital stuff. As I was browsing the wares of one shop, a particular acrylic signboard of a particular brand of camera came crashing down. Bad sign. I moved on and finally settled on the Lumix LZ3. I know it isn't the best, but at the price range, it's hard to find something that has a stabilizer, 6x zoom and 5 megapixel specs all in a single package.

A New Language

Communicating with humans is like speaking an alien language. Apparently, it isn't sufficient to merely say what one means. One needs to present that information in some pleasant-sounding phrasing, preferably with appropriate body language where applicable. So it is obviously necessary to include all sorts of verbal sugar coating and non-verbal cues to put a single fact across. It would appear that humans are incapable of logically extracting the facts out of the statement without trying to infer whether there's some ulterior motive, some ill will or whatever. Strange creatures, humans.

Knowledge And Wisdom

The trick to dealing with less enlightened mortals is to share just enough wisdom to quit amazing them and begin confusing them. Only then can they begin to consider things beyond what they think they know.

After living through enough incarnations, you quit losing knowledge, though no wisdom is lost. Strange as it may seem, the wisdom can and does carry over. Hard to quantify, wisdom, but it does lend clarity to thought where logical intellectual thinking doesn't always work out. Guess losing memories in the form of lost knowledge isn't entirely bad, since knowledge tends to burden more than it enlightens. After all, what one thinks one knows may restrict what one thinks one can do.

Shoes, Shoes

I can't believe it. After assuming that I had the correct shoe size all this while, I find myself wearing shoes a full size smaller than I had some years back. While I don't think I've actually shrunk, this is a strange implication that I may have been wearing oversized shoes all this while. I always thought the rule of thumb (or index finger) was that one should have a finger's clearance after putting on the shoe. It didn't really occur to me that that was really for when one wasn't wearing thick socks. Seriously whoa. Looks like I can wear smaller shoes after all. Well, that, or I've actually shrunk.

The Simpsonnnsss

I know I'm backdated. There. I've said it. But I've finally watched the first 15 seasons of The Simpsons. Quite a marathon. Unfortunately, it also means that I'll be mighty sad when I get to the end of the series and all that. It's like those times when friends don't talk to you as much once they have partners. Well that, or pardners, if you live on a mountain.

Aye aye. Pendants and no necklaces to go with them. I really can't stand silver, so I'll go for leather and/or other kinds of cord. Tribal, I do be.

Well anyway, I'm still a bit peeved that a certain storm arrived slightly off schedule. Oh why oh why did it not drench those people caught out there in the open. I suppose the skies are more forgiving than I am.

Pink Pearl, Black Rose

I went shopping today and bought myself a black rose pendant. I liked the pendant since some time back, and it was out of stock shortly after I went back again a couple days later. Note to Fenris: First rule of shopping! Anyway, this voucher came with the pendant. One free pearl! Well, like I got in line to claim this pearl, and it turns out that the pearl was to be freshly shucked from an oyster. Horror of horrors, a little creature perished to give me this pretty little pink pearl. The lady before me got a black pearl. Oh Jack Sparrow, how I have failed thee.

Too Much Of A Good Thing

I have been following Desperate Housewives for some seasons now, and I am increasingly feeling the TooMuchOfAGoodThing Syndrome. At first, the scandals and all were well and good. There's no place that doesn't have its share of secrets, even if they're dark ones. However, it becomes absurd when it's clear that almost everyone in the neighbourhood has some real deep, dark secret, and just about everyone involved seems to have some sort of violent and/or murderous solution to their problems. I mean seriously...how many murders can one expect in a community this small! Moreover, the solutions to some problems are plain overkill (pun intended). I think the producers are trying to stuff as many good ideas in to keep the show feeling fresh. Unfortunately, they're only succeeding in making the show increasingly absurd. I guess there's no real way to keep such a series going for long. Not unless you have great minds working on the scripts.

A Cracked Skull

There are some things in the universe that science is currently unable to disprove. People should avoid blinding themselves to the possibilities extant in this reality. Paranormal activities cannot be said to not exist merely because science is unable to find a way to detect their existence. They can be said to not exist only when science can prove without reasonable doubt their actual impossibility. If scientific attention were to be diverted entirely from "superstition", it becomes highly unlikely that such things are actually debunked by good scientific methods. It becomes such that they are assumed to be bunk merely because scientists assume so. Quite a good excuse for running away from a possible truth.

I was enroute home from grocery shopping when I saw an ambulance pull over just ahead. When paramedics came out and pulled on their rubber gloves, mom assumed that something was amiss. It turns out that an old man fell from the stairs some time back and he was lying in a pool of his own clotting blood. I could tell that he was still alive by the color of the body. Nonetheless, old blood is never tempting. Heh. As usual, mom went in for a closer look. I figured I'd just leave him to the paramedics.

Escort Duties

Woke up at 5.30am to escort dad to his medical checkup. That was the idea anyway. Turns out that he didn't want any of it, so I wound up at home wondering at what I should be doing that early in the morning. After a bit of chatting online, dad called back and asked me to go down to the hospital 'coz they may be using anaesthesia. Heh. Well anyway, I went down and waited till the procedure was done (with only local anaesthesia) and escorted him back. It would've probably been easier had I just followed him in the first place. Anyway, the tests turned out ok, so there's no real problem.

Therapy To The Masses

The tyranny of the masses is a strange phenomenon. Truth can be skewed by large numbers of misinformed people believing incorrect things. "Facts" can be blindly followed even though nobody really made an effort to verify them. Worst of all, some people like to believe that their beliefs engender the One Truth. Sometimes, it may be possible that the masses need re-education, not the oppressed minorities. Regular, otherwise potentially socially healthy people are being driven to the fringes on account of their differences. Gone are the days when being left-handed was a dreadful thing, yet negative discrimination still exists amongst the bearers of the "negative" attributes. How strange that some "legal adults" come of age at 18 in some places when they are taken to be adults only at 21 years of age in other places. To be sure, if societies cannot agree on the legal definition of such a simple matter, how can they be so sure that their individually held beliefs are truly appropriate?

A Voice From The Shadows

Sometimes, there are things around that one cannot see. How strangely limiting it is, even when one has eyes. They serve mainly to get people around without stumbling into holes. Anyway, feeling a spot of craving again. That's probably not a good thing, but I have decent self control.

Just a side note to self: Heard a loud explosive sound in the neighbourhood just now. Given that it sounded high up and I don't hear sirens, I figure it isn't anything really major. Perhaps someone's gas tank blew up. In the middle of the night. Whoopee.

Just Say No?

The authorities say that drugs are bad. Drugs do people in, break up families, liquefy minds and have all sorts of horrible side effects including withdrawal symptoms. All this would be well and good were it not so that mind-altering drugs are actively being administered in response to certain exceptional psychiatric cases. It would appear that psychotropic drugs are issued only to keep people docile and within the norms of consciousness (at a superficial level at least). As such, it seems to be the case that hallucinogenic drugs are controlled not just because of potential permanent damage (which may not be the case for all drugs within the classification) but in the interests of "law and order" whereby people keep their consciousness fully rooted in "reality".

It is strange that such drugs are not being administered under close medical supervision to give people the chance to experience such alteration of consciousness or at least to understand their effects at a scientific level. Alcohol may have similar effects on the consciousness by nature of its action, yet is not strictly controlled despite being associated with numerous deaths and injuries. It is probably better that takers of hallucinogenic drugs come under the purview of medical professionals rather than self-dosing on illegal products of dubious potency and getting harmed and/or harming others in the process.

The issue at hand appears to be a fear of the "insanity" (altered perceptions) experienced under influence than any real fear of bodily harm. Carcinogens are being actively studied even though known carcinogenic foods are being purveyed and consumed. Hence, it may be better that hallucinogenic drugs be studied rather than banned, giving people the potential of vacations from reality with minimal risks.

The Flexibility Of Experience

Today is the day that I can declare that I've actually taken up the Full Lotus position. Frankly, I never thought I could do it, since I've been trying for some time. It turns out that I was trying it the other way around (which is physically impossible) . Strangely enough, its difficulty isn't anywhere near as high as I'd expected of an "advanced" position. Guess it's just hard for some people. My friend can't do it, for one. Next on the target list: Splits

My Wristband

I finally found it: The leather wristband. Its strap is as wide as that of my wristwatch. It would appear that I finally have a matching pair to wear on my wrists. heh. Today's shopping trip was fruitful. It would seem that it is far better to have dad walk all over the place while mom and I shop than to have him follow us around and cast disapproving looks whenever any sort of money is slated to leave his wallet. Ah hah! Oh, and I got myself a pair of decent jeans at last.

I'm probably mildly allergic to what they call "silver", and the breaker tripped at the apparel store shortly after I went in. How inconvenient.

Just Let Go

How can one let go of reality when one has dwelt in it for countless millennia? If one has all those memories all at once, would it make any difference? Just beyond the veil lies the receptacle of the facts of the past, present and future. Yet is any of it significant, really, or does knowledge merely entrap? One can be free in oblivion, but is it a worthy pursuit? Everything is meaningless. One could learn to just let go. Is there any more meaning in oblivion?

Back From The North

Back I do be, from that vacation up north. Yes, it's a break from computers as well, so I've taken to penning the memories down, and not putting them up. So no info! Suffice to know that I saw a guy who has eyes just like Mark Hamil's. You know, the guy who acted as Luke Skywalker in the early Starwars films. Quite a sight =p

I note that consuming obscene amounts of fiber in the morning (e.g breakfast) does wonders for when you're having constipation-related problems and similar complications. It makes the morning visit a lot less painful if you let the stools pass with a soft "warhead". Fiber is not only good for digestion! It prevents unnecessary blood loss! As if losing blood every month weren't enough.

Blood and Clots

My friend was hospitalized for breathing difficulties. Turns out that she had clotting trouble that resulted in some sort of blockage in the lungs. It's a bit of a relief that the clots didn't form somewhere like in her brain or something. I really hate to see people with brain damage. Anyway, it turns out that I'm seeing another medical professional in the exact same hospital. Guess I'll visit again when my appointment is up (if she's still there)

Of Nothingness and Becoming

When one attains the highest possible level of enlightenment, one extinguishes all self and effectively becomes nothing in relation to a state of becoming. What happens, then? Does one stagnate within this blissful state free of the cycle of life and death, or does one become the inadvertent victim of becoming? When one has surrendered all will and self, one is no more. That also implies that one is no longer immune to the spontaneous expression or imposition of the self. Is there a backwards link between nothingness, and existence, where nothingness "evolves" to existence, starting again at the most rudimentary of existences that is the closest to nothingness and no-self? If so, then there may well be a stage beyond Nirvana, even though one will invariably be essentially different once one re-emerges as a new existence. The old self was surrendered and is no more, but nothing guarantees that a new and completely different rudimentary self cannot arise from the nothingness of the old self.

Moozique Recovery

My harddisk crashed some time back. Oh yes it did. But unfortunately, it took my music library with it. Yes it did, too. So what did I do? I checked my laptop, which had a nearly identical music library to the one on my desktop. Yes I did. So yeah, I spent a good amount of time just reorganizing all my music lists and whatnot, tossing out all the bad tracks. And now my music library is back, more elegant than it originally was. Yes it is. Unfortunately, it is short of a few of the newer albums, which I'll have to obtain again. Yes I will. I am proud to announce, however, that my music library is now back online! It is now!

Keeping The Balance

Why must girls like pink, and boys wear blue? Why must boys like soccer and football whilst girls enjoy romantic drama? This unnatural schism between the sex does little more than segregate the two main divisions of humanity into two neat groups. Such organization does little than facilitate groupings of primary modes of expected conduct within a society. Would society collapse in the absence of such rigid guidelines? Affirmations of such roles are met with approval, whilst any significant deviation is often criticized or even punished. Fluidity in definition need not be the root of destructive chaos. It is unnatural for life in all its variations to be subjected to rigid compartmentalization. There must be some degree of fluidity to enable some deviation from norms. Otherwise, dissatisfaction and associated unhappiness will be the likeliest result.

Must a presumably omnipotent deity be presented exclusively in a male form? Can there be balance between the masculine and feminine in divinity? One cannot hope to contain omnipotence just as one will find difficulty describing nothingness. To thus limit the greater Powers can amount to no less than blasphemy in claiming limitations to omnipotential power. In the grand scheme of things, only balance is the acceptable endpoint. If there can ever be a point of perfection, it can only be perfect balance. Anything else would cause an ever-shifting tendency towards a direction that can only lead to an ultimately lopsided universe. In seeking the triumph of one side, one is directly demanding the demise of its natural opposite.

Smash-resistant Glass

I never believed that it existed. If it sounds like glass, looks like glass, it probably shatters like glass, right? Incorrect, apparently. After visiting a long-abandoned theme park, we came across this display case with half-broken glass. Now, my guy friend, being destuctive, decided that he wanted to try his hand at breaking glass. Silly as that may sound, he took a solid swing at it with a broken billiard cue and all he got for it was sore hands. He threw a chair with heavy metal legs at it, and the chair just bounced off. Now that's really tough glass. It didn't even crack, though part of it was broken by some hooligan. So if you ever visit an abandoned theme park and find some pane of glass to be largely unbroken, you can rest assured that it's some sort of security glass. I took a swing at it with the cue, and it promptly broke, though. Guess it just takes a certain kind of force to damage that sort of thing. I'm officially a hooligan! Well, anyway, I call it smash resistant 'coz it took quite a beating before breaking. My glass panes cracked in my windows without my having to do anything at all! I want that smash-resistant glass on my windows! =p

The Great Disconnection

It was horrible! MyISP gave me a major scare when all of my internet connections started failing. Browsers refused to work, hell, even chat programs disconnected themselves and refused to reconnect. Worst of all, my router reported that everything was A-OK. Went around my other computers and found that they had the same problem. I was beginning to worry that the router decided to have an unscheduled break when I thought to fire up all my chat programs and set them on reconnect. It turned out that the ISP was (probably) conducting some maintenance out of the scheduled maintenance time slot. The disruption was 2 hours in advance of the scheduled maintenance time. Scary. Especially when my computer hardware has a knack for conking out at the most inconvenient times and in a rather abrupt manner.

The Freedom to Communicate

I can't stand my dad. Yeah. He's the sort that believes that stability is everything. Yes, to the extent that dictatorships are largely acceptable as long as they aren't actively destroying the country. I don't know what sort of indoctrination got to his head, or whether he truly believes such things, but it's terrible. He's so much in favour of state control that there is no limit to which a government can control the population, so long as it promotes stability. That includes organized protests in the face of corrupt policies. If other people think in this manner, overtly or covertly, I can understand how Hitler came to power so easily by mere force of words and some political maneuverings. And I also understand why dad runs the family the way he does.

Unchanging History

Humans hate change. And if any sort of "organization" actually likes change, it is probably young and unestablished. Why must a historical religion be "purer" than its modern form, for example? Perhaps it came from a time when change was necessarily a bad thing. A comfortable routine of having 3 square meals was a good thing. Suddenly having 5 meals a day and starving for the next 3 would probably be undesirable. Over time, humans became more and more comfortable with the idea of stagnation in stability. Perhaps that is why religions never wish to change with time, and why some remarkably illogical things are still being clung to.

A Maxtor Note

I just checked and realized that all 3 of my harddisks that experienced sudden deaths were Maxtors. Perhaps Maxtor fares poorly in my sorta environment. Anyway, note to self: If a harddisk starts making revving sounds like a muscle car, get it checked for a warranty claim. All 3 of my dead harddisks made that kinda sound a couple months before they conked out.

The Saga Begins!

The Saga Begins, by Weird Al Yankee =p I absopositively love it. I'd recommend this spoof to whomever is able to "get" the references. Just something to brighten up my day...and yours, whoever you may be. Oh my. How can one resist the Starwars Episode 1 tale related in tune to American Pie. heh.

Silent Hill

You've played the game. Now watch the movie! You know you wana. Actually, I know I wana. Hmm yes. The movie had every bit of the suspense in the games, and has a sort of side story going so that the audience is more aware of what's going on. I guess it cannot be exactly like a walkthrough of a Silent Hill game where nobody really knows what's going on and just winds up getting scared all the time, and highly confused. That's probably bad for a movie. Anyway, it's nice that the producers collaborated with Konami on this piece. It really brings out the spirit of the Silent Hill series. (Why was the show censored? I paid good money to watch a good movie at the cinema! You do NOT censor shows I PAY money to watch!)

As for the story, it's about a mom with a highly disturbed daughter. The daughter sleepwalks and keeps mentioning a place known as...you guessed it...Silent Hill. After a bit of research, the mom drives the daughter to the place, sees something spooky and crashes the car. This time, there's a cop who follows. Well, Silent Hill is a ghost town. Exactly the sort of ghost town that's full of the horrors of the past. Not to spoil anything, suffice to know that I loved the ending.

For some reason, Silent Hill is a place where virtually nothing ever works, zombies appear for no apparent reason, and you always have a working torch, a melee weapon of some sort, and a projectile weapon which is often a gun. There's always a torch and melee weapon early in the game! And likewise, there's a melee weapon and torch towards the middle of the show. Don't forget your radio! The one that makes weird noises when zombies are nearby. I think they didn't emphasize that part enough. But for once, you kinda understand why the zombies just look like bags of meat. In this version of the story, Silent Hill was a town gutted in a fire. A witch-burning fire of all things. But all in all, I loved the pace of the story. They actually had a sort of narrative going, instead of having everything come in via whispered conversation and flashbacks. If ya ask me! Watch tha movie! I shan't say more =p

Ah yes. I notice that other girls never admit to being gamers, even if they play video games.

I went for a seafood buffet after the show. The food was so-so, so I wound up massacring their flower crab dish. Couldn't figure out what else to eat anyway. Felt kinda bad when people opened the case and found all the crabs gone. NOT.

Those ABsurd Slimming Devices

Why do we have slim people promoting slimming devices! I know they were originally slim because I have seen pictures of them before the products even hit the market. Frankly, I wonder at the ability of what seems to be a massive vibrator in reducing body fat. The average person who consumes more calories than she expends is probably going to grow fat regardless whether they have a large vibrator shaking their midsection up. Besides, I doubt those slim people actually got their figures through gadgets alone. There's usually a lot of exercisse and dieting involved. Perhaps it is time that we had regular fat people endorsing the product, and showing how much they can gobble down pizza and still lose inches exclusively by the amazing power of slimming devices.

Outlaw Star!

I've finally gotten down to watching Outlaw Star. (Yes, the anime I had sitting on my harddisk for at least 3 years) It just seems so much like a simplified version of Cowboy Bebop. Moreover, the appropriate mood music and dramatic irony are really good at bringing the story to life, pretty much the way Cowboy Bebop did. Besides, the mix of characters is pretty similar, too. How can one not see Spike in Gene! Still, Spike's cooler. So there.

Bad Oysters!

Drat. Who would have thought... Anyway, I probably had a bad oyster in my oyster omelette yesterday. Drove my gut positively nuts. Woke at 4am just to spew liquid food that looked like it wasn't even digested. Yes...out the behind. It didn't even start to smell bad yet. Geez. I think it totally bypassed the lockdown in the gut and just went clean through me. And where it has passed, I shall turn my mind's eye. There will be nothing. Only clean gut will remain.

Routing Through The Wired

I got a router! A new Linksys so that my home systems are now all wired up. Had me in a bit of a pickle when I couldn't configure it, so I called the ISP. Now every computer in the house potentially has internet and LAN connectivity! However...hmm. It appears that the hall computer has decided to develop a RAM problem...again.


Disturbing note: I saw an oldish woman walking around in a t-shirt with the words "Juicy Bunny" sequined across the front. I...don't know what to say...

Thank Ye...For Now

Ok. Got a call from Maxtor. They had a harddisk replacement for me, and it's a 320 gig monster. That's 70 gigs above and beyond my 250 gig monster. That's pretty sweet...assuming that it actually stays reliable for a year or two at least. Um yeah. But I *am* pleased at the swift service and upgrade without demand. Yeah. heh.

Disturbing Omens

I was at a family dinner and repeatedly saw what I thought were omens pointing to my great aunt's death. She just turned 90 and it was her birthday dinner, after all. Just as a personal note, I saw spilled red wine. There were 4 sisters present, herself included. The shawl they placed around her shoulders resembled a death cowl. And she led the exit the way she would were she at the head of a funeral procession. Disturbing? Maybe. Only time will tell.

An interesting side note: Sticky pasty stuff should NEVER be brown or brownish. That's wrong on so many levels that it grosses me out at the very thought. Oh. There was one such dish served at the dinner. It tasted good, but the aesthetics were just...wrong.

Note to Fenris: Nail polish is dissolved by surgical spirit

Drat You Again!

I just noticed that the other harddisk that had Sudden Death (tm) on me was a Maxtor as well. I kept the carcass in a box as a reminder. Much good that did. Pfft. So now I have 2 sudden death Maxtors. Gee. I wonder if it was a coincidence. Pity that I believe in causality. Problem being that I will not dare to put anything important in that replacement harddisk. Now...erm...WHAT! It's 250 gigs!

I was at a park with my friend and walked along this pavement. I met this dog walking the woman, and the dog actually looked at me. However, it not only met my gaze, but chose to relieve itself in a rather fluid fashion right before my eyes. Seriously, I can't tell if I ought to be offended or amused. Perhaps a mix of both?

Drat You, Maxtor!

Yes. My esteemed Maxtor SATAII 250gb has decided to disappear from the face of my Windows Explorer, and refuses to be activated via Disk Management. In fact, nothing seems to want to touch it at all. The horribly inadquate thing... Well anyway, I hope the Maxtor guys provide me with some kind of a solution that doesn't involve formatting and stuff like that.

The Broken Mug

Dad broke my mug today. An unfortunate incident, but one that cannot be undone. But we have spares, so it won't affect my drinking pleasure.

If there's only one truth in life and the afterlife, it matters not where you stand. Any deed done and undone will only lead you towards that one truth. However, if there is a multiplicity of realities, the deeds will determine one's path. People like to simplify things, to limit the chaotic complex aspects of reality to the orderly, limited scope of human understanding. But like a broken mug, the understanding can be shattered. Will there be a struggle to try to reform that understanding in the old ways and forms which it maintained, or will there be an attempt to start anew?

Boiling Pearls

Bubble tea is remarkably difficult to prepare. For one, I never seem to get that syrup-tea mix up to the optimal levels. Moreover, every time I boil the tapioca balls, weird things happen when I store 'em. They clumped in the bowl despite my soaking them in water first. Worse yet, they became hard on the inside instead of chewy like they were when freshly boiled. I suspect it's something to do with keeping them in the fridge instead of leaving them in the open. More experiments!

Lament of a Neo-Nazi

Doctor: I'm sorry, sir, but I've already done the measurements.
Father:That's impossible!
Doctor:It's true. I've measured your child's nose. He's most assuredly jewish.
Father:But we're both pure of blood! There was no jewish parent.
Doctor:I'm pretty sure you believe that, but the proof is right here. I'm sorry, sir, but you have jewish blood.
Father:...
Doctor:It invariably runs in the paternal bloodline.
Father:Is there nothing we can do?
Doctor:Well, not for your child, but you can blame the jews.

How absurd can humans get.

Standing Alone

One must gain the strength to stand alone. One cannot possibly have another to form a whole, for that would make the person a half-person. The objective in life should be to gain wholeness in oneself, and to help one's partner achieve that exact same wholeness. It is lazy for one to merely find another to lean upon and thus cease in one's development of one's Potential Self. Instead of two halves making a whole, why not have two wholes making a perfect pair, with each able to stand by oneself if and when necessary? It is true that no one person is an island, but that is no excuse for one to forsake the ability to go it solo when the time comes.

In The Beginning

In the beginning, there was nothing, and the universe was exceedingly boring. And then it got so bored that it emitted a huge flash of light in order to ask for help. As a result of that flash of light, lots of dirt started forming out of apparently nowhere. The dirt felt lonely and started clumping together. Some dirt clumped so close together that it began emitting light entirely of its own accord. Some tiny dirt particles clumped together and formed sloshy dirt. And some dirt formed nearly perfectly spherical structures that were all hot and nasty and bothered.

After some time, dirt clustered in the sloshy dirt to form small squishy things. The small squishy things gathered to form larger squishy things. The larger squishy things started making tougher outer layers of more dirt in order to avoid being damaged by other squishy things.

This went on until the not-so-squishy things discovered that it was crowded in the sloshy dirt, and that there was actually solid dirt beyond the sloshy dirt. The not-so-squishy things that were able to survive then decided to go visit the solid dirt, and some found it to be good.

Later on, the not-so-squishy things became more solid from their diet of solid dirt and minimal sloshy dirt. They got bigger and bigger, and less and less squishy, though they remained squishy on the inside. Some became so hard on the outside that they became scaly things, and some had softer outside and became furry things. Some just stayed and vegetated and became tall and not-so-tall leafy and scaly things.

Unfortunately, something happened that was scaly thing-unfriendly and most of the larger scaly things died out except those in the sloshy dirt. The world became furrier and furrier. But some furry things started flying. It was all rather complicated. The flying things started staying in the leafy and scaly things. And the furry things that didn't hide in the dirt also took to playing in the leafy and scaly things, much to the flying things' chagrin.

As usual, more and more aberrations turned up in the bizarre universe and some furry things started growing up without fur. They were laughed at so hard that they set themselves aside from the rest of the dirt and started doing their own thing. Since they were furless, they figured that they may as well rule over all the dirt since nobody else seemed inclined to.

The rest of it happened in a comparatively short period of time, and is highly documented. Much of what is recorded appears highly unusual and egotistical. The gist of it was the furless things started gathering in ever larger groups and finding ways to do things together, disgusting as it may seem.

To this day, the dirt remains infested with furless things that build tall and hard things and throw all sorts of junk all over the place because they're too lazy to clean up after themselves. They also believe that the dirt will never build up enough to cause weird problems. Oh, and they are also convinced that everything began from nothing, and then there was a flash of light.

As a side note: The MacBook!

Harmony and Domination

Do you understand harmony? Or is the concept of power merely for the sake of acheiving domination? I spoke with the trees today, and they were unhappy at the state of events. In communion they shared how they felt and what life was like for one of their kind. The power of sunshine and the blood of the earth. The laws of nature are not inviolate, but are meant to be upheld. In trying to force changes upon the world, far-reaching consequences will result. Mankind stands upon the earth, not apart from it. Unless humans find ways to leave this place, they will forever be bound by the laws and requirements of this existence. It is far better to harmonize than to dominate the natural world. One cannot hope to command unwilling forces far greater than oneself.

Are You Blind?

If you don't see anything wrong, how do you know whether everything's alright or whether you're blind? There's a tendency to attempt to reinforce one's beliefs about something rather than to refute them. Just because a system is believed to work doesn't mean that there isn't anything wrong with it. There is a chance that people have become so used to the existence of the system and its flaws that they dare not and have no wish to change it. Hiding in plain sight is a very real phenomenon. No system is perfect, and people should learn to accept that change is an inevitable reality of evolution. After all, unless a system's perfect, there is nothing to ensure that it will most certainly take a turn for the worse once there is change involved.

Note: Apple cheese sausages don't taste particularly good.

Flooring

The terrazzo flooring in my apartment is just perfect for seeking out all sorts of obscure and occasionally strange images. I've seen witches, wolves and dog faces in it when I'm idly staring at it. I wonder how people ever put up with plain monotone flooring. Wouldn't trade my floor for other stuff.

A note: A people being ancient does not automagically denote the wisdom that they hold. Just because a people survived from long ago to the present age merely implies that they have much history and have yet to do something that causes them to be wiped out. Moreover, the "wisdom" of the ancients is overemphasized. The ancients have done many bad things to their environment much as modern man has, just as they had strange and wonderous innovations that impress the people of today. As such, people should be vigilant and do their best to maintain that which is beneficial, and make an effort to be aware of the impact they have on the world.

Peanut Butter

We're in dire straits. I checked the kitchen today and found that I have a jar of peanut butter and no bread at all! Well, not quite so dire if dad would actually eat that peanut butter. He's always demolishing the bread at an incredible rate and leaving the peanut butter behind. It's a bit like the Rapture where the bread gets taken up and the peanut butter gets left behind. What a poor, lonely jar. I wonder if it's normal for one to have to go to get bread just to go with the peanut butter. Hmm.

Compound Interests

Behold! The 8th wonder of the world: Compound interest. At a rate of 1%, 100 units would become around 270 units within 100 interest cycles. The same applies to the small changes that one may make in society as an individual. Though one may never see the changes in one lifetime, or even in two lifetimes, the effects of legions of individuals doing the same would eventually have an impact of sorts. However, one may be tempted to leave such actions and sacrifices to the next generation, and so on. This mindset is practical though rather selfish. In the absence of progress, the future generations will be forced to start things off pretty much the same way the previous generations did. Compounding the efforts of interested people will go a long way towards helping society change at a healthy rate. Sacrifices must be made.

Getting Things Together

What does one do when everything seems to be falling into place? I have been praying for this break in life, and I finally have it within my grasp. However, everything just seems too neat. Information, funds, positions all seem to be there, but sometimes things just seem too good to be true. Blind as I am to the possibilities in the far future, is this truly what I want? Yes. Is this truly what I need? Yes. Is it all possible? Entirely so. So why am I hesitating? Am I too used to adversity that even innocent breaks suddenly appear to be dangerous? Or is this just another honeyed trap? My gut tells me no. My mind tells me yes. Or was it the other way around? Logic and experience tell me that things simply do not turn out precisely right, in accordance to what you've been wishing for. Yet a part of me feels ungrateful for praying for all this, being given it and then questioning its wholesomeness. Still, everything comes at a price. Is it too great a price to pay to just let this chance go? The world was prayed for, and given to me. Now I ask if I should rule the world.

The Simpsons

I know it's a tad old, but I managed to obtain Simpsons season 1-15 on DVD! Having fun with the Simpsons marathon, though I would probably be happier with the Peanuts gang. Unfortunately, the DVD set is a tad pricey at the moment, so I guess I'll be waiting for a bit.

It's a little difficult to juggle a social life, outings, watching shows on the comp and gaming. The problem with gaming is that it's remarkably fun at times, but puts a serious crimp on one's social life. In fact, it appears to be the most inefficient of entertainments since you can't really do anything else when gaming. But there's a storyline to be discovered, and that's very much like reading a book. Drat. Oh, which reminds me. Reading is seriously good especially if you're on the go! Getting places and gaining knowledge at the same time. What a deal! Shopping is an outing in addition to being a social event. Watching shows on the comp can be juggled with chatting. But playing games? Pfft. No wonder I forget to play sometimes. But it's fun when I'm really at it.

Interesting note: I dropped a mirror and it didn't break. The glass fell from the holder, but the mirror itself didn't break. Is that lucky, or did I meet my quota of 7 years of bad lucks. Hmm

Tidiness

There are several challenge ratings for bedroom mess. There are the simple low-density messes that probably involve moving a large box out of the way, thereby clearing a large area in a single move. There are also the medium difficulty messes that are like books that require some care in moving, and yet clear only a moderate amount of neat space. Finally, we have the terrible little thingummies that are really small and require proper arrangement or stuffing into suitably small carriers. Those clear only a miniscule area for the huge amount of effort taken. Worst of all, stuffing them all into a carrying pouch isn't exactly the best solution as they tend to get mingled and entangled. Examples include pens and nail files. Thank goodness most of the mess in my room comprises of the first sort of stuff. Actually, it's just opened boxes of computer stuff. It makes the place look horribly messy, yet can be cleaned up in a jiffy. Now, just when I finally get down to things...erm...sooner or later.

Privacy and Progress

The price of swift progress is the ultimate sacrifice of privacy. If every company had full access to a consumer's full demographics, likes and dislikes, the companies will be able to find ways to fulfill the needs of the consumers. Moreover, if no company were to be able to keep its production processes and designs secret, every company would be able to access and find ways to improve upon the products. In theory, this will enable the world to approach a perfect model of information flows and enable progress at a swifter rate. However, given technologies and human selfishness, this is highly unlikely. There are inherent inefficiencies in all communications technologies and humans are unlikely to want to release their "secret formulae" to the world. The free access of information may seem to negate the incentive to invent. This is untrue as everyone will have the ability to improve upon any shortcoming they may encounter. A company that implements the new product will become a feasibility testing lab and help determine whether the item will remain in production. Consumers with access to the information may also potentially seek out and better understand the items they are purchasing. In reality, though, most consumers would rather be told what they're buying, and companies would prefer to keep their lucrative new strategies to themselves. Such is the way of the world.

Wasting Time

Time cannot be saved, neither can it be wasted. Time can only be spent at its own pace. So what happens when one has, by one's own definition, been forced to waste years of one's own time? The time does not disappear. Experiences are gained every moment one spends living life in awareness of time's passage. So, for one who knows whose time was wasted, time was not truly wasted for one was already aware of that state of affairs. However, much time is wasted in unaccounted-for moments. That is unforgivable, for one lives life for the sake of existing, rather than the sake of living. One has not truly lived, who floats through life as if in a daze, hoping that things will work out. Only memories exist to prove that time has passed. And memories that are written can never be forgotten, only lost in the world or erased.

PSU

I'm a walking hi-tech disaster area. =p Sent my power supply unit (PSU) in for servicing 'coz of a noisy fan. The guy there just swapped me a brand new PSU instead. He's sweet. But seriously, I think that's adequate, given that the fan started giving trouble a mere 2 months after I purchased it. I think it's nice that I can assume that this unit won't give me trouble for another 2 months at least. *stare stare* I think the repair guy didn't really notice that I handed him an invoice for another item. *casual whistling* Illicit procurement specialist, at your service.

V Revisited

I've just finished reading V for Vendetta. The comic this time. Strange, that it is still called a comic, despite it not being comical at all. I suppose graphic novel would suit it fine, though the term was coined to draw a line between "serious" comics and "frivolous" comics. I'd say laughter does wonders for the health. There's nothing frivolous about laughing. Anyway, the movie focuses more on the drama of the whole arrangement rather than on its ideological roots. In the comic, V is truly an idea in that he understands what he’s brought upon the people, yet does not seem to revel in the destruction he has wrought as a necessity. The comic has a balanced view of the players in the game as the regime does not seem to be a truly faceless bureaucracy that works only for its own gain. Moreover, the comic does not dwell on the glory of the explosions, but more on what V hopes to achieve through his destruction of national infrastructure. More importantly, the comic portrays the struggle for freedom to be an ongoing process rather than a sudden transformation as a result of the figurative storming of the Bastille. I’d say that the comic is a far better read than the movie would be were it a novel. However, I suppose the comic translated directly to film would be rather boring to watch. I guess they each have their own merits, given capabilities of the media upon which they were created.

Dreamscape

People perceive the dreamscape differently from others precisely because it is a place that has no bearing on the usual map of human perceptions. It cannot be viewed with normal sight, nor would the sights present be seen in forms that the mind can comprehend. That is why the mind and the allies help shape the perceptions into a form that can be easily digested by the psyche. Lacking this, the traveller may be at risk of insanity when the mind finds itself exposed to unfiltered data upon which it can find no reference point. The pathways of the worlds must be approached with caution.

Vibrations

Every object has a vibration, or resonance associated with it. This is caused by its place in reality. The vibrations exist even across realities, beyond the ones that are known. One can exploit those vibrations to locate other realities, and even to create doors between them. However, there are many out there that may not be suited for physical transit, and one must take care when moving between them. The walkers between worlds should also note that the veil between different realities may vary in strength and appearance. This varies across locations, of course. Every moment on a reality is spent learning, and what one learns defines what one becomes.

Some say that there is life, death and rebirth. In truth, however, there isn't really a true rebirth as some think. Life essence does dissipate sometimes, but it is never destroyed. Rebirth is when that essence reforms in another living thing, object, plant or animal. Whether there is a link between the new incarnation and the previous one is uncertain, since there are times when the original life force remains more cohesive than is usual. However, it is not exactly correct to assume that the entire new incarnation is identical to the previous one. What is certain, however, is that all of the life force that was once contained within a living being will maintain the vibrations of the previous vessel, and will take on the vibrations of the new one with time.

The Price of Freedom

What is the price of freedom? War, famine, anarchy, terrorism and any manner of insanity that afflicts humans? Are we to sacrifice our right to free speech and right to personal privacy just because of a few mad individuals? There are several problems plaguing the world at the moment. Humans are the source of most of them. As for the rest, however, the solution is not regulation, but proper upbringing. There is no cure for human madness. The madness runs in the blood. However, regulation can only serve to drive that madness underground where it may grow unseen and unregulated. More insidious means will be devised in order to bypass the monitoring. The results are obvious: The madmen continue to hatch their insane plans and the common folk are increasingly controlled by their governments. This probably sets the stage for dictators to pull their slimy hides on top, exercising their control over an apathetic country. A country where people do not bat an eyelid over an extra camera installed to monitor a public place for their "protection". A country where the authorities can imprison a citizen without reason. This is possible in a place where freedom is sacrificed in the name of peace, and where peace is synonymous with freedom despite all the crime and unrest. There is no feeling of freedom in wartime chaos, neither is there proper freedom in a tightly regulated place.

Anchors

When setting a weave, one may choose to use an anchor to ensure that it lands on the mark. However, it is occasionally possible to tap the weave onto a living source, such that the life force powers the weave itself. As long as the life form continues living, the weave will draw as much as it needs from the source to keep itself from fading.

Signs

I watched two shows regarding the gathering of lost friends, and received a wafer with an Omega at Holy Communion. What am I to think of these? Is there more than meets the eye? I do not believe in signs and omens, but I do not believe in coincidences either.

Adam's Apple

Red fruit or blue fruit? Take the red and your eyes will be opened and you will know good from evil...
*CHOMP*
Erm...why didn't hear me about the blue fruit of eternal life?
Discernment is far more important than living forever.

People tend to value knowledge extremely highly. Knowledge does more than shape a person's identity. In reality, it creates that identity. If one is apparently the exact same person with the exact same knowledge and personality, yet is known not to be the person in question, will others regard this person as the one that they think the person is, given that they have the knowledge of this difference? What if an identical clone were created, and others were possessed of the knowledge that the person they once knew was no more, and only the new one exists now? If one knew that the person was no longer the one they once knew, it would probably be terrible to try to get them to think otherwise.

Omnia Mutantur, Nihil Interit

Everything changes. Even Morrowind has become...Oblivion. Yes. I've decided to splurge on myself...again...and get the Collector's Edition. Seriously good stuff. Yet more product placements by Fenris! I like Oblivion because of its great gameplay, freedom of character development, zounds of areas to explore and graphics. Note that I put graphics last 'coz every game nowadays has superb graphics but very...oh...so...very...few... have any sort of real exploration or gameplay to them. My friend didn't want it 'coz it didn't have multiplayer. Hah! I say it's tough enough to complete in any thorough manner without multiplayer. In case someone's wondering, my character's developing based on a voluntary advancement scheme. That is, the skills are unlikely to progress unless I actively use them. For my build, it involves Blade, Conjuration, Alteration, Marksman, Heavy Armor, Illusion, Acrobatics. Seriously, by the way I play, these skills are the least likely to advance unless I start finding ways to train or power level them. (Admittedly, I'm using Illusion a lot more than expected) Still, it's a carefully selected build since there's only one major skill per attribute, and that leaves two skills (in theory) to level to get me the maximum bonuses per level up. Yep yep. Fenris is doing the power level routine. Given that the movement Speed in Oblivion is significantly faster than in Morrowind, I see no need to improve Speed. Block and Armorer, anyone? =p Nothing is lost with change. Long live Oblivion.

For Now

Yes. The exam season is over...for now. I fear the worst for one of my courses. Then again, I think the previous semester's performance will help pull things up some. Anyway, I bought myself the Creative Prodikeys . I know, I know...this smacks of product placement and endorsement. I, however, do not draw any income in any shape or form from mentioning this. I just happen to have the misfortune of buying some really really cheap keyboard that totally sucks. I figured that the keys on this thing looked and felt pretty darned good, and it comes with a *pink* faceplate. Now Pink and Black. That suits my table just fine, thanks. It just so happens to go with my black mouse and black monitor. Creative...I dare say you've done something right for once. And the piano keys just so happen to work with my synth software, too. Ahhh...no more attempting to figure which key on the computer keyboard plays which note. Luverly. Then again, I sense a spot of binge gaming coming on before I destress enough to make some music.

The Art of...

Some people are just rather bad at handling situations. Much as one may feel that one's pride is at stake, one should know when one must swallow that pride in favour of survival. As the Art of War mentions, a weak force cannot possibly take on a superior force head-on. To do so is to invite disaster. One will have quite a time trying to go up against an established system merely on willpower and little else. It takes extensive planning, research and yet more field testing before a technique can be applied in any moderately effective manner. There is an art to life, and some would do well to learn that.

Our Accepting Society

It would seem that society prefers people who just accept their lot in life. Then again, it's probably preferred just because it makes things simpler. For some reason, one's given name is taken to be more "respectable" than one's chosen name. Just as the birth certificate is often the document that should not be amended under any circumstances, bar irregularities in initial recording. There should be no reason why one should merely accept the name one was given at birth, except perhaps to keep in touch with childhood friends. Apart from that, a name is as good as any other, chosen or otherwise.

Quests

An unknown item has no form and thus may take any form the seeker wants. Thus, the seeker may well be deceived into believing that the item in question was really found, when it was not. Such deceptions are common, especially when one truly wishes to own the item, and the desire is enough to override any wariness or intuition one may have regarding it. Given such threats, one should seek to maintain wariness at all times, even when the objective seems to be within one’s grasp.

Active Players

If one is aware of the consequences of one's actions, can one ever be truly neutral in a bilateral conflict? There is no true neutrality once one has this knowledge, for inaction is implicitly assistance in the opposite direction. Yet, is it possible to be an uninvolved neutral, instead of a player with objectives?

We, The Consumers

We are what we consume. Or rather, we are what others perceive ourselves to be, according to what we consume. One who consumes items positively dripping with snob appeal would invariably have some rubbed off on that person. One can consume an absolutely delightful piece of what that individual deems as fine art, yet receive no recognition whatsoever, for that judgement was limited to the consumer. Likewise, comics have so long been locked in as the new media of the younglings and uncultured that the mere consumption of such material invites only disdain from those who think they understand high culture. It was so inextricable, in fact, that "graphic novels" were used as a term in lieu of "comics" when it came to serious worded illustrations.
While it may be unfair to lump "serious" comics together with funny comics due to the fact that the word "comic" implies humor, it is of significance that a whole new term has to be created in order to segregate oneself from the apparently low cultural value of "comics". As such, the extent to which one consumes cultural works of high cultural value will be the extent to which one is perceived to be cultured and, occasionally, erudite. We are what we consume, and that is but one means by which authoritarian figures can manipulate the masses. Everything has a basis, and authority is often the basis by which judgements are made.

"I may have drawn an ax being raised in this example, but I'm not the one who let it drop or decided how hard the blow, or who screamed, or why. That, dear reader, was your special crime, each of you committing it in your own style. All of you have participated in the murder. All of you held the ax and chose your spot. To kill a man between panels is to condemn him to a thousand deaths." Scott McCloud

Violence in Dreams

It is rare, a night when I do not put my pillow to my head and dream at least one dream of violence. Almost every night I am attacked, and fend off attackers. It is almost as if I am in training. I have since lost my fear in such situations. I no longer run when attacked. There is only the joy of battle, and the satisfaction that comes when terminating the threat. No, Fenris does not like playing violent games or watching violent movies.

Humans and Change

Humans fear change. Humans love certainty. In view of this, it is fairly obvious why humans would rather base their assessment and regulation of new phenomena on existing phenomena rather than create a whole new paradigm by which their judgments are made. They do not wish to be thrust into the unknown that creating a new paradigm entails. This regulates the pace of change and simultaneously holds progress back. There can be no radical new paradigm to revolutionize the way people operate, except perhaps by a fluke.

It's Back!

Yes. I got my MSI GeForce GT 6800 back today. I don't know what those repair guys did with my card, but it works fine now. From what I see, they either put the heatsink through a thorough polishing, or they installed a new one. Anyway, the idle temperature is back at a healthy 59 degrees idle (compared to a 70 degrees idle pre-repair). The faulty card they loaned to me had a similarly high idling temperature. I suppose this would lead to overheating once the card is on load. I'm unsure. Anyway, it's the exam season so I'll put the card through some proper testing later on. Yay =p

Outings and Guys

It's nice to go march around the town and have a spot of shopping at the book sale and apparel sale right next to the book sale. It's nice even if you don't buy anything. That's the beauty of it all. Anyway, it's exam season so I didn't buy anything. (Why? I don't know.)

It's remarkably simple to keep most guys in conversation. Start 'em up on their favourite topic (even one you're clueless about) and just egg 'em on with supportive words and nodding as if you're not lost. The problem with this is that loud guys tend to like to repeat their own jokes in slightly varied forms (apparently, this increases the humor value). Simply put, just let your mind take a break when the topic isn't to your interest. Smart guys won't bore you, and those that do are easy to keep entertained anyway.

The Proletariat Should Learn to Invest!

There is no doubt about it: The proletariat must learn to invest. The reason the proletariat never managed to have their revolution is because they have never managed to hold a unified front against their capitalist oppressors. Moreover, the proletariat still need their income and many are unwilling to risk what little they have to become jobless and then re-saddled with their problems. The problem with the capitalist world is that inventions enable machines to do the work of many people. Yet it does not make business sense to pay the machine operator the salaries of those displaced people in order to properly compensate that operator. Hence, it is inevitable that the proletariat are paid less than what they produce. This also means that the proletariat have to loan their equipment to the companies in order to be paid exactly what their work is worth. Then again, it is not possible for a commoner to be able to afford to loan the construction crane that she operates to the company. The company may choose to buy the crane rather than rent it anyway. An alternative would be to start a highly profitable company and become a capitalist. Not everyone can make a company survive, let alone become profitable. Given the current economic system, it is only possible for the proletariat to loan their funds to the capitalists i.e buying their shares. That way, they own a small part of the company they work in, or the company they have confidence in. It is, in effect, loaning that computer to the office, so that part of the work the computer does is channeled back to the worker. Short of another global revolution, this is the best solution.

Strange

In that dream, my eyes were entirely white. I looked in the mirror and saw no pupils or irises. Just whiteness. I thought I was blind, yet I saw this. Strange as it was, I didn't need eyes to see.

I was at a ruins. They opened the door. It was a door standing by itself in the ruins. The dead cat came to life, and fled in fear. As did the other animals and people in the area. I watched curiously on, not finding anything worth being afraid of.

Parents Are Clueless

Yes that's true, even for those who actually like their parents. Well...for mine anyway. Granted, they're nice and kind and all that. The problem is, they kinda figure that kindess and providing whatever the child needs is quite sufficient. Frankly, I think they should learn to find the root of their childrens' emotional issues and at least talk it over. That is, if the children are even willing to talk about it. It's far worse if the children want to say something, but the parents refuse to hear it for what it is. Proper emotional support cannot be replaced by pure material support. I guess some should just learn this simple thing.

The Voice of the People

The voice of the people must never be silenced in a country that is not a dictatorship. The people choose their governments. They are not being ruled by some dictatorial fist of iron. There should be no reason why the citizens of a nation should have no right to voice their opinions on politics, regardless whether they have government sanction to do so. After all, everyone should be free to critique the leaders they chose to represent them in managing the country. The day people give in to the whims of their leaders on such issues is the day when others will know just how much of their control they have surrendered to their "leaders". At a word, people do silly things. All it takes for dumb people to succeed, is for the smart people to do nothing about it.

The Principle of Materials

Each material has a set of properties that will govern its usefulness in a given context. There are specific situations and uses for a material. One who knows how to will use silver and gold appropriately and glean the maximum benefit from their use. Others will just use them to make pretty, albeit useless, patterns. I have found a perfect magical ward that keeps physical beings away: It's called a Brick Wall. It's fairly simple to make and it keeps all but the most determined or miniscule physical creatures out of your circle.

Individuality

Individuality is a private thing. People want to be individuals only because they think being a part of the formless masses is a desirable goal. They do not seem to take into consideration the extent to which their actions serve to make them true individuals. Slipping a lazy moment or three past the boss whilst at work may be a small act of rebellion, but does very little to further one's individualism beyond the self-satisfaction of knowing that one did something that one should not. If one truly hates the job, one should assign oneself days off from time to time. That is an expression of what one truly is. A small fashion "slip-up" like a slightly shorter skirt may be an act of rebellion, yet an adherence to "extreme" fashion may just be one's conformity to what one believes is a subculture that brings out one's individuality. Simply put, every "individual" is just an individual cog in the greater economic system. Individuality is an illusion, and an entirely private enterprise. A true individual learns to be an individual without having to prove it to others.

The Razer Krait!

Yes...I've given in to impulse buying and bought myself a Razer Krait. I know that it isn't the very best laser mouse on the market and isn't for those crazy FPS gamers, but I think it's mighty precise and suitable for my purposes. Moreover, it's got a delightful golden glow! I don't think I'll ever figure out how to use a mouse with 7 buttons, or how I'm going to get used to a 3 button mouse after I am actually used to a 7 button monster. =p Anyway, I think it's a fine deal for a laser mouse, given the prices that the competitors are offering. Moreover, the color matches my black keyboard.

The Basis of Judgement

All judgement has to be made on the basis of something. Something cannot be judged as "right" or "wrong" without a sound basis by which each conclusion can be reached. Fashion is a sort of judgement, too. I'm beginning to suspect that most guys have "poor" fashion sense not because they're entirely color blind, but perhaps because they never learned a sort of fashion sense that is "acceptable" to most other people who believe that they have some sort of fashion sense. I think media imagery has a large impact on how we view ourselves. If what we wear does not conform to what we see and "know" as something that looks "good", then we feel that it looks bad. If the cutting of a dress is just a few angles too shallow, it doesn't look good. Glamour is probably an overriding factor in this, however, since some absurd stuff worn by celebrities seems to become fashionable overnight. Hence, there is no fixed basis by which fashion is judged. Corsets may be fashionable one day, yet be totally unwelcome another, only to make a comeback sometime in the future. I say...wear what's comfortable...and affordable. heh.

I Need A New Keyboard!

Fenris is a total technological disaster area. Fenris has managed to damage the spacebar when removing it for cleaning. Now I have a mushy spacebar that works about 75% of the time. Anyway...this keyboard has a *disgusting* amount of dirt and hair in it. I dare say that it has more hair than I do on my head (which is a LOT). Um...never ask me to repair technological stuff. Yes...it tends to break down for no apparent reason. That, or perhaps I just have a way of getting poor technological items.

Weather

Much as one hates rain, one should refrain from manipulating the storm just to stay dry. I'd say...go with the cats. Cats know how to stay dry. They move into shelter when the rain comes. Even slightly directing a wind can have far-reaching effects on the weather that one may not be aware of. That's why one should not be using the abilities for frivolous reasons. There are always consequences to actions. Hell, there are even consequences to inaction. Anyway, it's a rainy day today. I like rain because it cools the surroundings. The ground seems so clean after a rain. Beats the road sweeps.

Unity

The word for the Rite of Awakening is "unity". The union of past, present and future. The fall of the veil that keeps the three separate. One needs to bring mind, body and soul together, to know what one truly is, was and would become. It is the new bond that shall be forged once the old ones are shattered. Knowledge of all the three parts will unite, and there is nothing that one knows that remains alone. The three struggle as one, as the troubles of each are mirrored in one another.

The art of casting one's will forth

There is a technique for casting one's will forth, but different people have different ways of doing it. For those who have sufficient focus to project their intentions, merely thinking of it will suffice. For others, though, a focus may be necessary. Some use implements and aids to help amplify and focus their intention. For others, the thoughts may be concentrated and directed by using words, usually poetry. Poetry is especially useful when getting thoughts to flow.

Lies, Intended or Otherwise

We are often brought up by our parents to tell the truth at all times, even when it hurts. Yet we are also told to tell white lies from time to time, to ease others' passage through life. The main problem, however, is how people often try to convince others despite not knowing the truth themselves. They may try to tell others that some things in life are "impossible" and that people should just not even bother aiming for those goals. To the best of their knowledge and intentions, that may be true. The reality, however, is likely to be very different. The spread of misinformation can be devastating. Sometimes, people even develop their own sort of sweet poison by telling others what they think is true, even they are aware that alternatives exist. I think people are just not ready for the truth. They are literally unable to handle it. Tell someone the bitter truth, and you may feel that it is better to have lied and kept the truth to yourself.

She's Got Issues

Yep yep. Went to the repair guy's with my motherboard, processor, RAM and his wonderful card. Once again, his system performed flawlessly (how the @#$#$% do they do that!). Anyway, he was perceptive enough to note a high pitched sound coming from the video card and volunteered to swap it again. I nearly turned him down, but figured that there was no harm to it. It turns out that that was the magic trick. The new card is working fine despite the load on it from the benchmark software. I guess the loan card was faulty after all. There was nothing wrong with my motherboard or drivers. Why, oh why, do you repair guys always get stuff done right when my stuff can go so wrong? Technology hates me.

Terrible!

It turns out that the graphics card was probably not the issue after all. The card the repair guy lent to me has a similar problem when I ran the benchmark program on it. I installed a fresh copy of windows on a separate harddisk and it did not help one bit. I do not think the card was faulty, so perhaps it is the motherboard. Looks like it's time for a major operation. *puts on surgical mask* Relax, Navi. This won't hurt one bit...

Vid Card Issues

My video card has decided to show up all sorts of horrible screen distortions. When I ran any sort of 3d game on it, the screen would corrupt for no apparent reason, yet would not hang. Being the suspicious one that I am, I brought it to the repair shop to get it fixed (it was still under warranty). Instead of acting up at the shop, the card performed perfectly well! Murphy...I'll wring your neck for this! Fortunately, the repair guy figured that I looked sufficiently pathetic and my card appeared to be damaged (some strange coloration at some part of the card), so he agreed to send it for servicing. The strangest thing was that the card ran without load at an average of 70 Deg C at my place, with the casing open, yet ran at 50 Deg C at his place. Take note of that, Fenris.

V!

V is for Valkyr. V is for Vendetta. I liked Vendetta a lot more than I liked the Valkyr (which I like a great lot). Anyway, Vendetta had exactly what I sought in a movie. Some dagger violence, Natalie Portman, stuff being blown up to the 1812 Overture and a revolution against the corrupt powers that be. Besides, the creators had deemed fit to provide a nice Agent Smith moment when masked citizens dressed as V. *nods to Hugo Weaving* On the whole, this movie has less emphasis on action than it does on intrigue and little plot twists. It has exceeded the expectation people may have of Hollywood flicks being mindlessly violent (drat you, History of Violence). V also had some interesting references to real-world icons, such as Hitler and the A for Anarchy logos. Whether this was intentional in the original graphic novels I dare not say, for I, regrettably, have not read them just yet.

On the whole, I'd give V a heavily biased 5/5 on account of Natalie Portman and the explosive Overture. Oh, and I really liked it when V had his little alliterative barrage. It's amazing, how many relevant words starting with V that you can chain in a single coherent sentence. Kudos to the script writers! The ending was exactly what I would like to see in a movie that involves a fanatical hero, though I shan't spoil the fun of others by revealing exactly what that is.

Ignorance

I was on the train today and noticed that it was nearly empty. Turns out that today is a part of the school holidays and the train was devoid of children. How strange it feels, to detach so easily from what was once familiar. I once bemoaned my parents forgetting that my school holidays were starting. It turns out that it comes as easily to me, when I've reached the stage where I really wasn't bothered. Perhaps this is why the plight of the marginalized is seldom known by those in mainstream society.

From Tribes to Nations

Humans are pack animals that seek to band together in groups far larger than any pack. This is unusual, since any human group that has a followers numbering more than an average pack under a single leader invariably falls into disarray and becomes dissolved with time. Interestingly enough, large numbers of humans choose to deceive themselves into following their leaders by assigning symbols that they believe that they can look up to. A piece of cloth with paint on it becomes a flag that represents the nation-tribe they hail from. A piece of paper with numbers on it becomes more valuable than life itself, even when it cannot be traded for anything that is truly valuable. And then they assign symbols against other humans so that those humans are demonized and taken to be something even less than human. With both sides believing the same thing of the other, they gladly charge to their deaths waving a piece of cloth. Interestingly enough, humans are incapable of uniting against non-humans; they are only capable of effectively banding against other humans that they believe to be dehumanized. The only difference between a tribe and a nation is the number of humans involved. After all, a hundred million engaging in the same foolishness is obviously more acceptable than thirty indulging in the exact same stupidity.
Humans: The most gullible animals since lemmings.

Islanders

The next time someone rebukes you for having self-pity by saying that you're not the only one suffering, just punch them in the face before responding. After all, even if everyone has to endure the nonsense bureaucracy tosses at them, not everyone is smart enough to recognize that they're being oppressed and exploited. Most humans just learn to accept their lot in life and get on with things by the path of least resistance. So yes. It is entirely possible that you ARE the only one suffering, mainly because others choose to lie to themselves that they're doing OK and that EVERYONE goes through it. A whole tribe of lemmings deciding to drown themselves in the sea does not make it a "right" or "smart" move for them.

Strange Dreams

I've had another dream regarding snakes. I seem to be dreaming about snakes a lot. The weirdest thing is that even though I've slain a great snake in a dream, I still harbour a fear of the dream-serpents, even when they are not hostile to me. There is a great evil that yet haunts me, and there must be a way to eradicate it. I'm not supposed to fear, because they are weaker than I am. Yet I do, which should not be the case. There is more to the world than meets the eye.

Privacy

My friend made an interesting comment today. He claimed that those who insisted on having privacy have something to hide. If one were to accept his argument, one would be inclined to believe that the government and corporations' monitoring of the people are justified if they do not use the information in ways that are adverse to the peoples' interests. However, such information can be irritating, at best, for others to have. It can be downright harmful at worst. For example, people may receive unsolicited spam and "personalized" advertising. That would be rather unpleasant most of the time. However, something that is apparently trivial may come back to haunt someone if that piece of information were to come to light at a later date. That person may not feel that the information needs to be hidden, yet may come to regret releasing or allowing others to acquire it. Knowledge is a double edged sword, and privacy is often more desirable than not, even though many try to convince others otherwise.

Of Soulmates

How does one know when one encounters The Soulmate? Does one tingle all over and just "know"? What if one just happens to really really like someone else, but is unaware that that particular someone is just a very good friend and not really The One? It's a big world out there, and there is probably only one person who can qualify as The Soulmate. Perhaps most people never have the fortune or misfortune of ever finding their soulmate. For all we know, The Soulmate could just be one's worst enemy, for the two are so closely linked that the feelings cannot help but conflict, with both sides acutely aware of the other's inadequacies. It's a scary thought. Then again, I do believe that someone has someone else out there who would be the perfect partner. The only thing one needs to do is to find that one.

Accounting for Luck

There is no such thing as luck. In fact, even if luck exists, it would be a rather bizarre concept in itself. The fact that that I have survived this long is probably indicative of a huge pool of luck. Considering the myriad possibilities of my getting killed in various ways every single second of every single day, I must be pretty lucky to even be able to write this.
Luck is seldom accounted for, and even if one can try to account for it, one may never know how lucky one really is. For example, the car that rolled past the traffic light could have a major internal problem that could have caused it to run someone over. But the fact that that someone was so lucky helped prevent the problem from acting up at that precise moment, resulting in another piece of yummy roadkill. However, when the car does skid and plaster roadkill all over the road, that person is deemed to be extremely unlucky. I think that if luck exists, it is grossly poorly accounted for. Plus, if luck can "run out" and winning the lottery takes lots of luck, that person could well have been run over by that car because that person had expended the lucky surplus winning the lottery. Hence, gambling wastes luck. Stop gambling today.

The Fearsome Stare

Fenris has successfully used the Fearsome Stare(tm). A true Fenris can make a man back away with a single stare. Fenris was rounding a corner when Fenris saw a man. Fenris gave the man the Fearsome Stare(tm) and the poor guy moved back a single step in surprise. Fenris is ready.

It would appear that my father's plants are in order now. In fact, it appears to have a couple of little plantlets sticking out of the soil near to the mother plant. Wonderful sight, really. It would appear that the little white scale problem is subsiding after the removal of that horrible infested twig. Oh, and the bonsai pot is interesting. Some of the mosses aren't faring too well whilst one patch of dried moss (that I rescued from school) appears to be thriving. I see the sporangia sticking out already. It's a cheerful sight.