The Saga Begins!

The Saga Begins, by Weird Al Yankee =p I absopositively love it. I'd recommend this spoof to whomever is able to "get" the references. Just something to brighten up my day...and yours, whoever you may be. Oh my. How can one resist the Starwars Episode 1 tale related in tune to American Pie. heh.

Silent Hill

You've played the game. Now watch the movie! You know you wana. Actually, I know I wana. Hmm yes. The movie had every bit of the suspense in the games, and has a sort of side story going so that the audience is more aware of what's going on. I guess it cannot be exactly like a walkthrough of a Silent Hill game where nobody really knows what's going on and just winds up getting scared all the time, and highly confused. That's probably bad for a movie. Anyway, it's nice that the producers collaborated with Konami on this piece. It really brings out the spirit of the Silent Hill series. (Why was the show censored? I paid good money to watch a good movie at the cinema! You do NOT censor shows I PAY money to watch!)

As for the story, it's about a mom with a highly disturbed daughter. The daughter sleepwalks and keeps mentioning a place known as...you guessed it...Silent Hill. After a bit of research, the mom drives the daughter to the place, sees something spooky and crashes the car. This time, there's a cop who follows. Well, Silent Hill is a ghost town. Exactly the sort of ghost town that's full of the horrors of the past. Not to spoil anything, suffice to know that I loved the ending.

For some reason, Silent Hill is a place where virtually nothing ever works, zombies appear for no apparent reason, and you always have a working torch, a melee weapon of some sort, and a projectile weapon which is often a gun. There's always a torch and melee weapon early in the game! And likewise, there's a melee weapon and torch towards the middle of the show. Don't forget your radio! The one that makes weird noises when zombies are nearby. I think they didn't emphasize that part enough. But for once, you kinda understand why the zombies just look like bags of meat. In this version of the story, Silent Hill was a town gutted in a fire. A witch-burning fire of all things. But all in all, I loved the pace of the story. They actually had a sort of narrative going, instead of having everything come in via whispered conversation and flashbacks. If ya ask me! Watch tha movie! I shan't say more =p

Ah yes. I notice that other girls never admit to being gamers, even if they play video games.

I went for a seafood buffet after the show. The food was so-so, so I wound up massacring their flower crab dish. Couldn't figure out what else to eat anyway. Felt kinda bad when people opened the case and found all the crabs gone. NOT.

Those ABsurd Slimming Devices

Why do we have slim people promoting slimming devices! I know they were originally slim because I have seen pictures of them before the products even hit the market. Frankly, I wonder at the ability of what seems to be a massive vibrator in reducing body fat. The average person who consumes more calories than she expends is probably going to grow fat regardless whether they have a large vibrator shaking their midsection up. Besides, I doubt those slim people actually got their figures through gadgets alone. There's usually a lot of exercisse and dieting involved. Perhaps it is time that we had regular fat people endorsing the product, and showing how much they can gobble down pizza and still lose inches exclusively by the amazing power of slimming devices.

Outlaw Star!

I've finally gotten down to watching Outlaw Star. (Yes, the anime I had sitting on my harddisk for at least 3 years) It just seems so much like a simplified version of Cowboy Bebop. Moreover, the appropriate mood music and dramatic irony are really good at bringing the story to life, pretty much the way Cowboy Bebop did. Besides, the mix of characters is pretty similar, too. How can one not see Spike in Gene! Still, Spike's cooler. So there.

Bad Oysters!

Drat. Who would have thought... Anyway, I probably had a bad oyster in my oyster omelette yesterday. Drove my gut positively nuts. Woke at 4am just to spew liquid food that looked like it wasn't even digested. Yes...out the behind. It didn't even start to smell bad yet. Geez. I think it totally bypassed the lockdown in the gut and just went clean through me. And where it has passed, I shall turn my mind's eye. There will be nothing. Only clean gut will remain.

Routing Through The Wired

I got a router! A new Linksys so that my home systems are now all wired up. Had me in a bit of a pickle when I couldn't configure it, so I called the ISP. Now every computer in the house potentially has internet and LAN connectivity! However...hmm. It appears that the hall computer has decided to develop a RAM problem...again.


Disturbing note: I saw an oldish woman walking around in a t-shirt with the words "Juicy Bunny" sequined across the front. I...don't know what to say...

Thank Ye...For Now

Ok. Got a call from Maxtor. They had a harddisk replacement for me, and it's a 320 gig monster. That's 70 gigs above and beyond my 250 gig monster. That's pretty sweet...assuming that it actually stays reliable for a year or two at least. Um yeah. But I *am* pleased at the swift service and upgrade without demand. Yeah. heh.

Disturbing Omens

I was at a family dinner and repeatedly saw what I thought were omens pointing to my great aunt's death. She just turned 90 and it was her birthday dinner, after all. Just as a personal note, I saw spilled red wine. There were 4 sisters present, herself included. The shawl they placed around her shoulders resembled a death cowl. And she led the exit the way she would were she at the head of a funeral procession. Disturbing? Maybe. Only time will tell.

An interesting side note: Sticky pasty stuff should NEVER be brown or brownish. That's wrong on so many levels that it grosses me out at the very thought. Oh. There was one such dish served at the dinner. It tasted good, but the aesthetics were just...wrong.

Note to Fenris: Nail polish is dissolved by surgical spirit

Drat You Again!

I just noticed that the other harddisk that had Sudden Death (tm) on me was a Maxtor as well. I kept the carcass in a box as a reminder. Much good that did. Pfft. So now I have 2 sudden death Maxtors. Gee. I wonder if it was a coincidence. Pity that I believe in causality. Problem being that I will not dare to put anything important in that replacement harddisk. Now...erm...WHAT! It's 250 gigs!

I was at a park with my friend and walked along this pavement. I met this dog walking the woman, and the dog actually looked at me. However, it not only met my gaze, but chose to relieve itself in a rather fluid fashion right before my eyes. Seriously, I can't tell if I ought to be offended or amused. Perhaps a mix of both?

Drat You, Maxtor!

Yes. My esteemed Maxtor SATAII 250gb has decided to disappear from the face of my Windows Explorer, and refuses to be activated via Disk Management. In fact, nothing seems to want to touch it at all. The horribly inadquate thing... Well anyway, I hope the Maxtor guys provide me with some kind of a solution that doesn't involve formatting and stuff like that.

The Broken Mug

Dad broke my mug today. An unfortunate incident, but one that cannot be undone. But we have spares, so it won't affect my drinking pleasure.

If there's only one truth in life and the afterlife, it matters not where you stand. Any deed done and undone will only lead you towards that one truth. However, if there is a multiplicity of realities, the deeds will determine one's path. People like to simplify things, to limit the chaotic complex aspects of reality to the orderly, limited scope of human understanding. But like a broken mug, the understanding can be shattered. Will there be a struggle to try to reform that understanding in the old ways and forms which it maintained, or will there be an attempt to start anew?

Boiling Pearls

Bubble tea is remarkably difficult to prepare. For one, I never seem to get that syrup-tea mix up to the optimal levels. Moreover, every time I boil the tapioca balls, weird things happen when I store 'em. They clumped in the bowl despite my soaking them in water first. Worse yet, they became hard on the inside instead of chewy like they were when freshly boiled. I suspect it's something to do with keeping them in the fridge instead of leaving them in the open. More experiments!

Lament of a Neo-Nazi

Doctor: I'm sorry, sir, but I've already done the measurements.
Father:That's impossible!
Doctor:It's true. I've measured your child's nose. He's most assuredly jewish.
Father:But we're both pure of blood! There was no jewish parent.
Doctor:I'm pretty sure you believe that, but the proof is right here. I'm sorry, sir, but you have jewish blood.
Father:...
Doctor:It invariably runs in the paternal bloodline.
Father:Is there nothing we can do?
Doctor:Well, not for your child, but you can blame the jews.

How absurd can humans get.

Standing Alone

One must gain the strength to stand alone. One cannot possibly have another to form a whole, for that would make the person a half-person. The objective in life should be to gain wholeness in oneself, and to help one's partner achieve that exact same wholeness. It is lazy for one to merely find another to lean upon and thus cease in one's development of one's Potential Self. Instead of two halves making a whole, why not have two wholes making a perfect pair, with each able to stand by oneself if and when necessary? It is true that no one person is an island, but that is no excuse for one to forsake the ability to go it solo when the time comes.

In The Beginning

In the beginning, there was nothing, and the universe was exceedingly boring. And then it got so bored that it emitted a huge flash of light in order to ask for help. As a result of that flash of light, lots of dirt started forming out of apparently nowhere. The dirt felt lonely and started clumping together. Some dirt clumped so close together that it began emitting light entirely of its own accord. Some tiny dirt particles clumped together and formed sloshy dirt. And some dirt formed nearly perfectly spherical structures that were all hot and nasty and bothered.

After some time, dirt clustered in the sloshy dirt to form small squishy things. The small squishy things gathered to form larger squishy things. The larger squishy things started making tougher outer layers of more dirt in order to avoid being damaged by other squishy things.

This went on until the not-so-squishy things discovered that it was crowded in the sloshy dirt, and that there was actually solid dirt beyond the sloshy dirt. The not-so-squishy things that were able to survive then decided to go visit the solid dirt, and some found it to be good.

Later on, the not-so-squishy things became more solid from their diet of solid dirt and minimal sloshy dirt. They got bigger and bigger, and less and less squishy, though they remained squishy on the inside. Some became so hard on the outside that they became scaly things, and some had softer outside and became furry things. Some just stayed and vegetated and became tall and not-so-tall leafy and scaly things.

Unfortunately, something happened that was scaly thing-unfriendly and most of the larger scaly things died out except those in the sloshy dirt. The world became furrier and furrier. But some furry things started flying. It was all rather complicated. The flying things started staying in the leafy and scaly things. And the furry things that didn't hide in the dirt also took to playing in the leafy and scaly things, much to the flying things' chagrin.

As usual, more and more aberrations turned up in the bizarre universe and some furry things started growing up without fur. They were laughed at so hard that they set themselves aside from the rest of the dirt and started doing their own thing. Since they were furless, they figured that they may as well rule over all the dirt since nobody else seemed inclined to.

The rest of it happened in a comparatively short period of time, and is highly documented. Much of what is recorded appears highly unusual and egotistical. The gist of it was the furless things started gathering in ever larger groups and finding ways to do things together, disgusting as it may seem.

To this day, the dirt remains infested with furless things that build tall and hard things and throw all sorts of junk all over the place because they're too lazy to clean up after themselves. They also believe that the dirt will never build up enough to cause weird problems. Oh, and they are also convinced that everything began from nothing, and then there was a flash of light.

As a side note: The MacBook!

Harmony and Domination

Do you understand harmony? Or is the concept of power merely for the sake of acheiving domination? I spoke with the trees today, and they were unhappy at the state of events. In communion they shared how they felt and what life was like for one of their kind. The power of sunshine and the blood of the earth. The laws of nature are not inviolate, but are meant to be upheld. In trying to force changes upon the world, far-reaching consequences will result. Mankind stands upon the earth, not apart from it. Unless humans find ways to leave this place, they will forever be bound by the laws and requirements of this existence. It is far better to harmonize than to dominate the natural world. One cannot hope to command unwilling forces far greater than oneself.

Are You Blind?

If you don't see anything wrong, how do you know whether everything's alright or whether you're blind? There's a tendency to attempt to reinforce one's beliefs about something rather than to refute them. Just because a system is believed to work doesn't mean that there isn't anything wrong with it. There is a chance that people have become so used to the existence of the system and its flaws that they dare not and have no wish to change it. Hiding in plain sight is a very real phenomenon. No system is perfect, and people should learn to accept that change is an inevitable reality of evolution. After all, unless a system's perfect, there is nothing to ensure that it will most certainly take a turn for the worse once there is change involved.

Note: Apple cheese sausages don't taste particularly good.

Flooring

The terrazzo flooring in my apartment is just perfect for seeking out all sorts of obscure and occasionally strange images. I've seen witches, wolves and dog faces in it when I'm idly staring at it. I wonder how people ever put up with plain monotone flooring. Wouldn't trade my floor for other stuff.

A note: A people being ancient does not automagically denote the wisdom that they hold. Just because a people survived from long ago to the present age merely implies that they have much history and have yet to do something that causes them to be wiped out. Moreover, the "wisdom" of the ancients is overemphasized. The ancients have done many bad things to their environment much as modern man has, just as they had strange and wonderous innovations that impress the people of today. As such, people should be vigilant and do their best to maintain that which is beneficial, and make an effort to be aware of the impact they have on the world.

Peanut Butter

We're in dire straits. I checked the kitchen today and found that I have a jar of peanut butter and no bread at all! Well, not quite so dire if dad would actually eat that peanut butter. He's always demolishing the bread at an incredible rate and leaving the peanut butter behind. It's a bit like the Rapture where the bread gets taken up and the peanut butter gets left behind. What a poor, lonely jar. I wonder if it's normal for one to have to go to get bread just to go with the peanut butter. Hmm.

Compound Interests

Behold! The 8th wonder of the world: Compound interest. At a rate of 1%, 100 units would become around 270 units within 100 interest cycles. The same applies to the small changes that one may make in society as an individual. Though one may never see the changes in one lifetime, or even in two lifetimes, the effects of legions of individuals doing the same would eventually have an impact of sorts. However, one may be tempted to leave such actions and sacrifices to the next generation, and so on. This mindset is practical though rather selfish. In the absence of progress, the future generations will be forced to start things off pretty much the same way the previous generations did. Compounding the efforts of interested people will go a long way towards helping society change at a healthy rate. Sacrifices must be made.

Getting Things Together

What does one do when everything seems to be falling into place? I have been praying for this break in life, and I finally have it within my grasp. However, everything just seems too neat. Information, funds, positions all seem to be there, but sometimes things just seem too good to be true. Blind as I am to the possibilities in the far future, is this truly what I want? Yes. Is this truly what I need? Yes. Is it all possible? Entirely so. So why am I hesitating? Am I too used to adversity that even innocent breaks suddenly appear to be dangerous? Or is this just another honeyed trap? My gut tells me no. My mind tells me yes. Or was it the other way around? Logic and experience tell me that things simply do not turn out precisely right, in accordance to what you've been wishing for. Yet a part of me feels ungrateful for praying for all this, being given it and then questioning its wholesomeness. Still, everything comes at a price. Is it too great a price to pay to just let this chance go? The world was prayed for, and given to me. Now I ask if I should rule the world.

The Simpsons

I know it's a tad old, but I managed to obtain Simpsons season 1-15 on DVD! Having fun with the Simpsons marathon, though I would probably be happier with the Peanuts gang. Unfortunately, the DVD set is a tad pricey at the moment, so I guess I'll be waiting for a bit.

It's a little difficult to juggle a social life, outings, watching shows on the comp and gaming. The problem with gaming is that it's remarkably fun at times, but puts a serious crimp on one's social life. In fact, it appears to be the most inefficient of entertainments since you can't really do anything else when gaming. But there's a storyline to be discovered, and that's very much like reading a book. Drat. Oh, which reminds me. Reading is seriously good especially if you're on the go! Getting places and gaining knowledge at the same time. What a deal! Shopping is an outing in addition to being a social event. Watching shows on the comp can be juggled with chatting. But playing games? Pfft. No wonder I forget to play sometimes. But it's fun when I'm really at it.

Interesting note: I dropped a mirror and it didn't break. The glass fell from the holder, but the mirror itself didn't break. Is that lucky, or did I meet my quota of 7 years of bad lucks. Hmm

Tidiness

There are several challenge ratings for bedroom mess. There are the simple low-density messes that probably involve moving a large box out of the way, thereby clearing a large area in a single move. There are also the medium difficulty messes that are like books that require some care in moving, and yet clear only a moderate amount of neat space. Finally, we have the terrible little thingummies that are really small and require proper arrangement or stuffing into suitably small carriers. Those clear only a miniscule area for the huge amount of effort taken. Worst of all, stuffing them all into a carrying pouch isn't exactly the best solution as they tend to get mingled and entangled. Examples include pens and nail files. Thank goodness most of the mess in my room comprises of the first sort of stuff. Actually, it's just opened boxes of computer stuff. It makes the place look horribly messy, yet can be cleaned up in a jiffy. Now, just when I finally get down to things...erm...sooner or later.

Privacy and Progress

The price of swift progress is the ultimate sacrifice of privacy. If every company had full access to a consumer's full demographics, likes and dislikes, the companies will be able to find ways to fulfill the needs of the consumers. Moreover, if no company were to be able to keep its production processes and designs secret, every company would be able to access and find ways to improve upon the products. In theory, this will enable the world to approach a perfect model of information flows and enable progress at a swifter rate. However, given technologies and human selfishness, this is highly unlikely. There are inherent inefficiencies in all communications technologies and humans are unlikely to want to release their "secret formulae" to the world. The free access of information may seem to negate the incentive to invent. This is untrue as everyone will have the ability to improve upon any shortcoming they may encounter. A company that implements the new product will become a feasibility testing lab and help determine whether the item will remain in production. Consumers with access to the information may also potentially seek out and better understand the items they are purchasing. In reality, though, most consumers would rather be told what they're buying, and companies would prefer to keep their lucrative new strategies to themselves. Such is the way of the world.

Wasting Time

Time cannot be saved, neither can it be wasted. Time can only be spent at its own pace. So what happens when one has, by one's own definition, been forced to waste years of one's own time? The time does not disappear. Experiences are gained every moment one spends living life in awareness of time's passage. So, for one who knows whose time was wasted, time was not truly wasted for one was already aware of that state of affairs. However, much time is wasted in unaccounted-for moments. That is unforgivable, for one lives life for the sake of existing, rather than the sake of living. One has not truly lived, who floats through life as if in a daze, hoping that things will work out. Only memories exist to prove that time has passed. And memories that are written can never be forgotten, only lost in the world or erased.

PSU

I'm a walking hi-tech disaster area. =p Sent my power supply unit (PSU) in for servicing 'coz of a noisy fan. The guy there just swapped me a brand new PSU instead. He's sweet. But seriously, I think that's adequate, given that the fan started giving trouble a mere 2 months after I purchased it. I think it's nice that I can assume that this unit won't give me trouble for another 2 months at least. *stare stare* I think the repair guy didn't really notice that I handed him an invoice for another item. *casual whistling* Illicit procurement specialist, at your service.

V Revisited

I've just finished reading V for Vendetta. The comic this time. Strange, that it is still called a comic, despite it not being comical at all. I suppose graphic novel would suit it fine, though the term was coined to draw a line between "serious" comics and "frivolous" comics. I'd say laughter does wonders for the health. There's nothing frivolous about laughing. Anyway, the movie focuses more on the drama of the whole arrangement rather than on its ideological roots. In the comic, V is truly an idea in that he understands what he’s brought upon the people, yet does not seem to revel in the destruction he has wrought as a necessity. The comic has a balanced view of the players in the game as the regime does not seem to be a truly faceless bureaucracy that works only for its own gain. Moreover, the comic does not dwell on the glory of the explosions, but more on what V hopes to achieve through his destruction of national infrastructure. More importantly, the comic portrays the struggle for freedom to be an ongoing process rather than a sudden transformation as a result of the figurative storming of the Bastille. I’d say that the comic is a far better read than the movie would be were it a novel. However, I suppose the comic translated directly to film would be rather boring to watch. I guess they each have their own merits, given capabilities of the media upon which they were created.

Dreamscape

People perceive the dreamscape differently from others precisely because it is a place that has no bearing on the usual map of human perceptions. It cannot be viewed with normal sight, nor would the sights present be seen in forms that the mind can comprehend. That is why the mind and the allies help shape the perceptions into a form that can be easily digested by the psyche. Lacking this, the traveller may be at risk of insanity when the mind finds itself exposed to unfiltered data upon which it can find no reference point. The pathways of the worlds must be approached with caution.

Vibrations

Every object has a vibration, or resonance associated with it. This is caused by its place in reality. The vibrations exist even across realities, beyond the ones that are known. One can exploit those vibrations to locate other realities, and even to create doors between them. However, there are many out there that may not be suited for physical transit, and one must take care when moving between them. The walkers between worlds should also note that the veil between different realities may vary in strength and appearance. This varies across locations, of course. Every moment on a reality is spent learning, and what one learns defines what one becomes.

Some say that there is life, death and rebirth. In truth, however, there isn't really a true rebirth as some think. Life essence does dissipate sometimes, but it is never destroyed. Rebirth is when that essence reforms in another living thing, object, plant or animal. Whether there is a link between the new incarnation and the previous one is uncertain, since there are times when the original life force remains more cohesive than is usual. However, it is not exactly correct to assume that the entire new incarnation is identical to the previous one. What is certain, however, is that all of the life force that was once contained within a living being will maintain the vibrations of the previous vessel, and will take on the vibrations of the new one with time.

The Price of Freedom

What is the price of freedom? War, famine, anarchy, terrorism and any manner of insanity that afflicts humans? Are we to sacrifice our right to free speech and right to personal privacy just because of a few mad individuals? There are several problems plaguing the world at the moment. Humans are the source of most of them. As for the rest, however, the solution is not regulation, but proper upbringing. There is no cure for human madness. The madness runs in the blood. However, regulation can only serve to drive that madness underground where it may grow unseen and unregulated. More insidious means will be devised in order to bypass the monitoring. The results are obvious: The madmen continue to hatch their insane plans and the common folk are increasingly controlled by their governments. This probably sets the stage for dictators to pull their slimy hides on top, exercising their control over an apathetic country. A country where people do not bat an eyelid over an extra camera installed to monitor a public place for their "protection". A country where the authorities can imprison a citizen without reason. This is possible in a place where freedom is sacrificed in the name of peace, and where peace is synonymous with freedom despite all the crime and unrest. There is no feeling of freedom in wartime chaos, neither is there proper freedom in a tightly regulated place.

Anchors

When setting a weave, one may choose to use an anchor to ensure that it lands on the mark. However, it is occasionally possible to tap the weave onto a living source, such that the life force powers the weave itself. As long as the life form continues living, the weave will draw as much as it needs from the source to keep itself from fading.

Signs

I watched two shows regarding the gathering of lost friends, and received a wafer with an Omega at Holy Communion. What am I to think of these? Is there more than meets the eye? I do not believe in signs and omens, but I do not believe in coincidences either.

Adam's Apple

Red fruit or blue fruit? Take the red and your eyes will be opened and you will know good from evil...
*CHOMP*
Erm...why didn't hear me about the blue fruit of eternal life?
Discernment is far more important than living forever.

People tend to value knowledge extremely highly. Knowledge does more than shape a person's identity. In reality, it creates that identity. If one is apparently the exact same person with the exact same knowledge and personality, yet is known not to be the person in question, will others regard this person as the one that they think the person is, given that they have the knowledge of this difference? What if an identical clone were created, and others were possessed of the knowledge that the person they once knew was no more, and only the new one exists now? If one knew that the person was no longer the one they once knew, it would probably be terrible to try to get them to think otherwise.

Omnia Mutantur, Nihil Interit

Everything changes. Even Morrowind has become...Oblivion. Yes. I've decided to splurge on myself...again...and get the Collector's Edition. Seriously good stuff. Yet more product placements by Fenris! I like Oblivion because of its great gameplay, freedom of character development, zounds of areas to explore and graphics. Note that I put graphics last 'coz every game nowadays has superb graphics but very...oh...so...very...few... have any sort of real exploration or gameplay to them. My friend didn't want it 'coz it didn't have multiplayer. Hah! I say it's tough enough to complete in any thorough manner without multiplayer. In case someone's wondering, my character's developing based on a voluntary advancement scheme. That is, the skills are unlikely to progress unless I actively use them. For my build, it involves Blade, Conjuration, Alteration, Marksman, Heavy Armor, Illusion, Acrobatics. Seriously, by the way I play, these skills are the least likely to advance unless I start finding ways to train or power level them. (Admittedly, I'm using Illusion a lot more than expected) Still, it's a carefully selected build since there's only one major skill per attribute, and that leaves two skills (in theory) to level to get me the maximum bonuses per level up. Yep yep. Fenris is doing the power level routine. Given that the movement Speed in Oblivion is significantly faster than in Morrowind, I see no need to improve Speed. Block and Armorer, anyone? =p Nothing is lost with change. Long live Oblivion.

For Now

Yes. The exam season is over...for now. I fear the worst for one of my courses. Then again, I think the previous semester's performance will help pull things up some. Anyway, I bought myself the Creative Prodikeys . I know, I know...this smacks of product placement and endorsement. I, however, do not draw any income in any shape or form from mentioning this. I just happen to have the misfortune of buying some really really cheap keyboard that totally sucks. I figured that the keys on this thing looked and felt pretty darned good, and it comes with a *pink* faceplate. Now Pink and Black. That suits my table just fine, thanks. It just so happens to go with my black mouse and black monitor. Creative...I dare say you've done something right for once. And the piano keys just so happen to work with my synth software, too. Ahhh...no more attempting to figure which key on the computer keyboard plays which note. Luverly. Then again, I sense a spot of binge gaming coming on before I destress enough to make some music.

The Art of...

Some people are just rather bad at handling situations. Much as one may feel that one's pride is at stake, one should know when one must swallow that pride in favour of survival. As the Art of War mentions, a weak force cannot possibly take on a superior force head-on. To do so is to invite disaster. One will have quite a time trying to go up against an established system merely on willpower and little else. It takes extensive planning, research and yet more field testing before a technique can be applied in any moderately effective manner. There is an art to life, and some would do well to learn that.

Our Accepting Society

It would seem that society prefers people who just accept their lot in life. Then again, it's probably preferred just because it makes things simpler. For some reason, one's given name is taken to be more "respectable" than one's chosen name. Just as the birth certificate is often the document that should not be amended under any circumstances, bar irregularities in initial recording. There should be no reason why one should merely accept the name one was given at birth, except perhaps to keep in touch with childhood friends. Apart from that, a name is as good as any other, chosen or otherwise.

Quests

An unknown item has no form and thus may take any form the seeker wants. Thus, the seeker may well be deceived into believing that the item in question was really found, when it was not. Such deceptions are common, especially when one truly wishes to own the item, and the desire is enough to override any wariness or intuition one may have regarding it. Given such threats, one should seek to maintain wariness at all times, even when the objective seems to be within one’s grasp.

Active Players

If one is aware of the consequences of one's actions, can one ever be truly neutral in a bilateral conflict? There is no true neutrality once one has this knowledge, for inaction is implicitly assistance in the opposite direction. Yet, is it possible to be an uninvolved neutral, instead of a player with objectives?

We, The Consumers

We are what we consume. Or rather, we are what others perceive ourselves to be, according to what we consume. One who consumes items positively dripping with snob appeal would invariably have some rubbed off on that person. One can consume an absolutely delightful piece of what that individual deems as fine art, yet receive no recognition whatsoever, for that judgement was limited to the consumer. Likewise, comics have so long been locked in as the new media of the younglings and uncultured that the mere consumption of such material invites only disdain from those who think they understand high culture. It was so inextricable, in fact, that "graphic novels" were used as a term in lieu of "comics" when it came to serious worded illustrations.
While it may be unfair to lump "serious" comics together with funny comics due to the fact that the word "comic" implies humor, it is of significance that a whole new term has to be created in order to segregate oneself from the apparently low cultural value of "comics". As such, the extent to which one consumes cultural works of high cultural value will be the extent to which one is perceived to be cultured and, occasionally, erudite. We are what we consume, and that is but one means by which authoritarian figures can manipulate the masses. Everything has a basis, and authority is often the basis by which judgements are made.

"I may have drawn an ax being raised in this example, but I'm not the one who let it drop or decided how hard the blow, or who screamed, or why. That, dear reader, was your special crime, each of you committing it in your own style. All of you have participated in the murder. All of you held the ax and chose your spot. To kill a man between panels is to condemn him to a thousand deaths." Scott McCloud

Violence in Dreams

It is rare, a night when I do not put my pillow to my head and dream at least one dream of violence. Almost every night I am attacked, and fend off attackers. It is almost as if I am in training. I have since lost my fear in such situations. I no longer run when attacked. There is only the joy of battle, and the satisfaction that comes when terminating the threat. No, Fenris does not like playing violent games or watching violent movies.

Humans and Change

Humans fear change. Humans love certainty. In view of this, it is fairly obvious why humans would rather base their assessment and regulation of new phenomena on existing phenomena rather than create a whole new paradigm by which their judgments are made. They do not wish to be thrust into the unknown that creating a new paradigm entails. This regulates the pace of change and simultaneously holds progress back. There can be no radical new paradigm to revolutionize the way people operate, except perhaps by a fluke.

It's Back!

Yes. I got my MSI GeForce GT 6800 back today. I don't know what those repair guys did with my card, but it works fine now. From what I see, they either put the heatsink through a thorough polishing, or they installed a new one. Anyway, the idle temperature is back at a healthy 59 degrees idle (compared to a 70 degrees idle pre-repair). The faulty card they loaned to me had a similarly high idling temperature. I suppose this would lead to overheating once the card is on load. I'm unsure. Anyway, it's the exam season so I'll put the card through some proper testing later on. Yay =p

Outings and Guys

It's nice to go march around the town and have a spot of shopping at the book sale and apparel sale right next to the book sale. It's nice even if you don't buy anything. That's the beauty of it all. Anyway, it's exam season so I didn't buy anything. (Why? I don't know.)

It's remarkably simple to keep most guys in conversation. Start 'em up on their favourite topic (even one you're clueless about) and just egg 'em on with supportive words and nodding as if you're not lost. The problem with this is that loud guys tend to like to repeat their own jokes in slightly varied forms (apparently, this increases the humor value). Simply put, just let your mind take a break when the topic isn't to your interest. Smart guys won't bore you, and those that do are easy to keep entertained anyway.

The Proletariat Should Learn to Invest!

There is no doubt about it: The proletariat must learn to invest. The reason the proletariat never managed to have their revolution is because they have never managed to hold a unified front against their capitalist oppressors. Moreover, the proletariat still need their income and many are unwilling to risk what little they have to become jobless and then re-saddled with their problems. The problem with the capitalist world is that inventions enable machines to do the work of many people. Yet it does not make business sense to pay the machine operator the salaries of those displaced people in order to properly compensate that operator. Hence, it is inevitable that the proletariat are paid less than what they produce. This also means that the proletariat have to loan their equipment to the companies in order to be paid exactly what their work is worth. Then again, it is not possible for a commoner to be able to afford to loan the construction crane that she operates to the company. The company may choose to buy the crane rather than rent it anyway. An alternative would be to start a highly profitable company and become a capitalist. Not everyone can make a company survive, let alone become profitable. Given the current economic system, it is only possible for the proletariat to loan their funds to the capitalists i.e buying their shares. That way, they own a small part of the company they work in, or the company they have confidence in. It is, in effect, loaning that computer to the office, so that part of the work the computer does is channeled back to the worker. Short of another global revolution, this is the best solution.

Strange

In that dream, my eyes were entirely white. I looked in the mirror and saw no pupils or irises. Just whiteness. I thought I was blind, yet I saw this. Strange as it was, I didn't need eyes to see.

I was at a ruins. They opened the door. It was a door standing by itself in the ruins. The dead cat came to life, and fled in fear. As did the other animals and people in the area. I watched curiously on, not finding anything worth being afraid of.

Parents Are Clueless

Yes that's true, even for those who actually like their parents. Well...for mine anyway. Granted, they're nice and kind and all that. The problem is, they kinda figure that kindess and providing whatever the child needs is quite sufficient. Frankly, I think they should learn to find the root of their childrens' emotional issues and at least talk it over. That is, if the children are even willing to talk about it. It's far worse if the children want to say something, but the parents refuse to hear it for what it is. Proper emotional support cannot be replaced by pure material support. I guess some should just learn this simple thing.

The Voice of the People

The voice of the people must never be silenced in a country that is not a dictatorship. The people choose their governments. They are not being ruled by some dictatorial fist of iron. There should be no reason why the citizens of a nation should have no right to voice their opinions on politics, regardless whether they have government sanction to do so. After all, everyone should be free to critique the leaders they chose to represent them in managing the country. The day people give in to the whims of their leaders on such issues is the day when others will know just how much of their control they have surrendered to their "leaders". At a word, people do silly things. All it takes for dumb people to succeed, is for the smart people to do nothing about it.

The Principle of Materials

Each material has a set of properties that will govern its usefulness in a given context. There are specific situations and uses for a material. One who knows how to will use silver and gold appropriately and glean the maximum benefit from their use. Others will just use them to make pretty, albeit useless, patterns. I have found a perfect magical ward that keeps physical beings away: It's called a Brick Wall. It's fairly simple to make and it keeps all but the most determined or miniscule physical creatures out of your circle.

Individuality

Individuality is a private thing. People want to be individuals only because they think being a part of the formless masses is a desirable goal. They do not seem to take into consideration the extent to which their actions serve to make them true individuals. Slipping a lazy moment or three past the boss whilst at work may be a small act of rebellion, but does very little to further one's individualism beyond the self-satisfaction of knowing that one did something that one should not. If one truly hates the job, one should assign oneself days off from time to time. That is an expression of what one truly is. A small fashion "slip-up" like a slightly shorter skirt may be an act of rebellion, yet an adherence to "extreme" fashion may just be one's conformity to what one believes is a subculture that brings out one's individuality. Simply put, every "individual" is just an individual cog in the greater economic system. Individuality is an illusion, and an entirely private enterprise. A true individual learns to be an individual without having to prove it to others.

The Razer Krait!

Yes...I've given in to impulse buying and bought myself a Razer Krait. I know that it isn't the very best laser mouse on the market and isn't for those crazy FPS gamers, but I think it's mighty precise and suitable for my purposes. Moreover, it's got a delightful golden glow! I don't think I'll ever figure out how to use a mouse with 7 buttons, or how I'm going to get used to a 3 button mouse after I am actually used to a 7 button monster. =p Anyway, I think it's a fine deal for a laser mouse, given the prices that the competitors are offering. Moreover, the color matches my black keyboard.

The Basis of Judgement

All judgement has to be made on the basis of something. Something cannot be judged as "right" or "wrong" without a sound basis by which each conclusion can be reached. Fashion is a sort of judgement, too. I'm beginning to suspect that most guys have "poor" fashion sense not because they're entirely color blind, but perhaps because they never learned a sort of fashion sense that is "acceptable" to most other people who believe that they have some sort of fashion sense. I think media imagery has a large impact on how we view ourselves. If what we wear does not conform to what we see and "know" as something that looks "good", then we feel that it looks bad. If the cutting of a dress is just a few angles too shallow, it doesn't look good. Glamour is probably an overriding factor in this, however, since some absurd stuff worn by celebrities seems to become fashionable overnight. Hence, there is no fixed basis by which fashion is judged. Corsets may be fashionable one day, yet be totally unwelcome another, only to make a comeback sometime in the future. I say...wear what's comfortable...and affordable. heh.

I Need A New Keyboard!

Fenris is a total technological disaster area. Fenris has managed to damage the spacebar when removing it for cleaning. Now I have a mushy spacebar that works about 75% of the time. Anyway...this keyboard has a *disgusting* amount of dirt and hair in it. I dare say that it has more hair than I do on my head (which is a LOT). Um...never ask me to repair technological stuff. Yes...it tends to break down for no apparent reason. That, or perhaps I just have a way of getting poor technological items.

Weather

Much as one hates rain, one should refrain from manipulating the storm just to stay dry. I'd say...go with the cats. Cats know how to stay dry. They move into shelter when the rain comes. Even slightly directing a wind can have far-reaching effects on the weather that one may not be aware of. That's why one should not be using the abilities for frivolous reasons. There are always consequences to actions. Hell, there are even consequences to inaction. Anyway, it's a rainy day today. I like rain because it cools the surroundings. The ground seems so clean after a rain. Beats the road sweeps.

Unity

The word for the Rite of Awakening is "unity". The union of past, present and future. The fall of the veil that keeps the three separate. One needs to bring mind, body and soul together, to know what one truly is, was and would become. It is the new bond that shall be forged once the old ones are shattered. Knowledge of all the three parts will unite, and there is nothing that one knows that remains alone. The three struggle as one, as the troubles of each are mirrored in one another.

The art of casting one's will forth

There is a technique for casting one's will forth, but different people have different ways of doing it. For those who have sufficient focus to project their intentions, merely thinking of it will suffice. For others, though, a focus may be necessary. Some use implements and aids to help amplify and focus their intention. For others, the thoughts may be concentrated and directed by using words, usually poetry. Poetry is especially useful when getting thoughts to flow.

Lies, Intended or Otherwise

We are often brought up by our parents to tell the truth at all times, even when it hurts. Yet we are also told to tell white lies from time to time, to ease others' passage through life. The main problem, however, is how people often try to convince others despite not knowing the truth themselves. They may try to tell others that some things in life are "impossible" and that people should just not even bother aiming for those goals. To the best of their knowledge and intentions, that may be true. The reality, however, is likely to be very different. The spread of misinformation can be devastating. Sometimes, people even develop their own sort of sweet poison by telling others what they think is true, even they are aware that alternatives exist. I think people are just not ready for the truth. They are literally unable to handle it. Tell someone the bitter truth, and you may feel that it is better to have lied and kept the truth to yourself.

She's Got Issues

Yep yep. Went to the repair guy's with my motherboard, processor, RAM and his wonderful card. Once again, his system performed flawlessly (how the @#$#$% do they do that!). Anyway, he was perceptive enough to note a high pitched sound coming from the video card and volunteered to swap it again. I nearly turned him down, but figured that there was no harm to it. It turns out that that was the magic trick. The new card is working fine despite the load on it from the benchmark software. I guess the loan card was faulty after all. There was nothing wrong with my motherboard or drivers. Why, oh why, do you repair guys always get stuff done right when my stuff can go so wrong? Technology hates me.

Terrible!

It turns out that the graphics card was probably not the issue after all. The card the repair guy lent to me has a similar problem when I ran the benchmark program on it. I installed a fresh copy of windows on a separate harddisk and it did not help one bit. I do not think the card was faulty, so perhaps it is the motherboard. Looks like it's time for a major operation. *puts on surgical mask* Relax, Navi. This won't hurt one bit...

Vid Card Issues

My video card has decided to show up all sorts of horrible screen distortions. When I ran any sort of 3d game on it, the screen would corrupt for no apparent reason, yet would not hang. Being the suspicious one that I am, I brought it to the repair shop to get it fixed (it was still under warranty). Instead of acting up at the shop, the card performed perfectly well! Murphy...I'll wring your neck for this! Fortunately, the repair guy figured that I looked sufficiently pathetic and my card appeared to be damaged (some strange coloration at some part of the card), so he agreed to send it for servicing. The strangest thing was that the card ran without load at an average of 70 Deg C at my place, with the casing open, yet ran at 50 Deg C at his place. Take note of that, Fenris.

V!

V is for Valkyr. V is for Vendetta. I liked Vendetta a lot more than I liked the Valkyr (which I like a great lot). Anyway, Vendetta had exactly what I sought in a movie. Some dagger violence, Natalie Portman, stuff being blown up to the 1812 Overture and a revolution against the corrupt powers that be. Besides, the creators had deemed fit to provide a nice Agent Smith moment when masked citizens dressed as V. *nods to Hugo Weaving* On the whole, this movie has less emphasis on action than it does on intrigue and little plot twists. It has exceeded the expectation people may have of Hollywood flicks being mindlessly violent (drat you, History of Violence). V also had some interesting references to real-world icons, such as Hitler and the A for Anarchy logos. Whether this was intentional in the original graphic novels I dare not say, for I, regrettably, have not read them just yet.

On the whole, I'd give V a heavily biased 5/5 on account of Natalie Portman and the explosive Overture. Oh, and I really liked it when V had his little alliterative barrage. It's amazing, how many relevant words starting with V that you can chain in a single coherent sentence. Kudos to the script writers! The ending was exactly what I would like to see in a movie that involves a fanatical hero, though I shan't spoil the fun of others by revealing exactly what that is.

Ignorance

I was on the train today and noticed that it was nearly empty. Turns out that today is a part of the school holidays and the train was devoid of children. How strange it feels, to detach so easily from what was once familiar. I once bemoaned my parents forgetting that my school holidays were starting. It turns out that it comes as easily to me, when I've reached the stage where I really wasn't bothered. Perhaps this is why the plight of the marginalized is seldom known by those in mainstream society.

From Tribes to Nations

Humans are pack animals that seek to band together in groups far larger than any pack. This is unusual, since any human group that has a followers numbering more than an average pack under a single leader invariably falls into disarray and becomes dissolved with time. Interestingly enough, large numbers of humans choose to deceive themselves into following their leaders by assigning symbols that they believe that they can look up to. A piece of cloth with paint on it becomes a flag that represents the nation-tribe they hail from. A piece of paper with numbers on it becomes more valuable than life itself, even when it cannot be traded for anything that is truly valuable. And then they assign symbols against other humans so that those humans are demonized and taken to be something even less than human. With both sides believing the same thing of the other, they gladly charge to their deaths waving a piece of cloth. Interestingly enough, humans are incapable of uniting against non-humans; they are only capable of effectively banding against other humans that they believe to be dehumanized. The only difference between a tribe and a nation is the number of humans involved. After all, a hundred million engaging in the same foolishness is obviously more acceptable than thirty indulging in the exact same stupidity.
Humans: The most gullible animals since lemmings.

Islanders

The next time someone rebukes you for having self-pity by saying that you're not the only one suffering, just punch them in the face before responding. After all, even if everyone has to endure the nonsense bureaucracy tosses at them, not everyone is smart enough to recognize that they're being oppressed and exploited. Most humans just learn to accept their lot in life and get on with things by the path of least resistance. So yes. It is entirely possible that you ARE the only one suffering, mainly because others choose to lie to themselves that they're doing OK and that EVERYONE goes through it. A whole tribe of lemmings deciding to drown themselves in the sea does not make it a "right" or "smart" move for them.

Strange Dreams

I've had another dream regarding snakes. I seem to be dreaming about snakes a lot. The weirdest thing is that even though I've slain a great snake in a dream, I still harbour a fear of the dream-serpents, even when they are not hostile to me. There is a great evil that yet haunts me, and there must be a way to eradicate it. I'm not supposed to fear, because they are weaker than I am. Yet I do, which should not be the case. There is more to the world than meets the eye.

Privacy

My friend made an interesting comment today. He claimed that those who insisted on having privacy have something to hide. If one were to accept his argument, one would be inclined to believe that the government and corporations' monitoring of the people are justified if they do not use the information in ways that are adverse to the peoples' interests. However, such information can be irritating, at best, for others to have. It can be downright harmful at worst. For example, people may receive unsolicited spam and "personalized" advertising. That would be rather unpleasant most of the time. However, something that is apparently trivial may come back to haunt someone if that piece of information were to come to light at a later date. That person may not feel that the information needs to be hidden, yet may come to regret releasing or allowing others to acquire it. Knowledge is a double edged sword, and privacy is often more desirable than not, even though many try to convince others otherwise.

Of Soulmates

How does one know when one encounters The Soulmate? Does one tingle all over and just "know"? What if one just happens to really really like someone else, but is unaware that that particular someone is just a very good friend and not really The One? It's a big world out there, and there is probably only one person who can qualify as The Soulmate. Perhaps most people never have the fortune or misfortune of ever finding their soulmate. For all we know, The Soulmate could just be one's worst enemy, for the two are so closely linked that the feelings cannot help but conflict, with both sides acutely aware of the other's inadequacies. It's a scary thought. Then again, I do believe that someone has someone else out there who would be the perfect partner. The only thing one needs to do is to find that one.

Accounting for Luck

There is no such thing as luck. In fact, even if luck exists, it would be a rather bizarre concept in itself. The fact that that I have survived this long is probably indicative of a huge pool of luck. Considering the myriad possibilities of my getting killed in various ways every single second of every single day, I must be pretty lucky to even be able to write this.
Luck is seldom accounted for, and even if one can try to account for it, one may never know how lucky one really is. For example, the car that rolled past the traffic light could have a major internal problem that could have caused it to run someone over. But the fact that that someone was so lucky helped prevent the problem from acting up at that precise moment, resulting in another piece of yummy roadkill. However, when the car does skid and plaster roadkill all over the road, that person is deemed to be extremely unlucky. I think that if luck exists, it is grossly poorly accounted for. Plus, if luck can "run out" and winning the lottery takes lots of luck, that person could well have been run over by that car because that person had expended the lucky surplus winning the lottery. Hence, gambling wastes luck. Stop gambling today.

The Fearsome Stare

Fenris has successfully used the Fearsome Stare(tm). A true Fenris can make a man back away with a single stare. Fenris was rounding a corner when Fenris saw a man. Fenris gave the man the Fearsome Stare(tm) and the poor guy moved back a single step in surprise. Fenris is ready.

It would appear that my father's plants are in order now. In fact, it appears to have a couple of little plantlets sticking out of the soil near to the mother plant. Wonderful sight, really. It would appear that the little white scale problem is subsiding after the removal of that horrible infested twig. Oh, and the bonsai pot is interesting. Some of the mosses aren't faring too well whilst one patch of dried moss (that I rescued from school) appears to be thriving. I see the sporangia sticking out already. It's a cheerful sight.

Of Shopping and Haircuts

I went shopping yesterday and managed to find all sorts of really cute trinkets. It's remarkable how much one can spend when one visits a shop that sells every single one of its items at a low fixed price. I managed to get a spot of garden fencing that could serve as a sword holder. Lovely, really, since I've not really got a proper place to put my swords. I got a haircut, too. Mom's crazy. Just 'coz she's got short hair, she expects me to keep mine short as well. Anyway, it was nice to get it trimmed some. Gives it more of a shape when I brush it all in place.

Time

Fenris has done it again. Got addicted to Adventure Quest for now. In fact, the main thing keeping Fenris at that silly game is the fact that Fenris has found a decent way to farm experience and gold at a decent rate whilst slaughtering lots of stuff with minimal inconvenience (except for time wasted) The game may be found at the Adventure Quest website What a way to spend time! Anyway, it can be seriously fun, so be warned! Fenris is currently trying to create a vampire Paladin. Fenris loves vampires, apparently, and the power of Paladins.

Dead Twigs

My neighbour finally decided to get rid of that infested twig stuck in a flower pot. Unfortunately, I believe the family's lazy. They pretty much yanked the twig from the pot, soil and all, and hauled it to the elevator landing. Unfortunately, the roots decided that they did not want to haul soil with them, and a great lump of earth was sitting on the staircase landing until it was cleared this morning. Well, at least the infestation will be limited...I hope. It's interesting how much a trail of soil from the pot to the landing, to that lump of earth and a further trail to the elevator can tell a person.

Jack In

We are all like users with limited access to the great cosmic database. Unfortunately, I don't know anyone with Root access. Anyway, what happens when one finally realizes that one does not have to log in to actually have a life? Perhaps one can attain a state of what some know as Nirvana. Me? I'm just more interested in accessing that great database. I bet there's all sorts of useful information in there. Who needs to log off when one can get...Root access.

Seeing Stuff

I see weird things. Why? Because I'm spaced out, drugged, my mind's flakey and I'm not blind. Oh and maybe it's coz I have a knack for associating almost anything to something that's stuck in my head. I do occasionally see strange things that disappear when I try to focus on 'em. Happy? No? Well...too bad. Anyway, I saw a bird and a hand in a cloud one day. Strangely Christian imagery, if you ask me. The hand appeared to be a hand of blessing. At least...I hope it is.

Parasites!

I've got a neighbour who keeps a dead plant in a pot. It wouldn't be such a problem if it weren't totally infested with some sort of weird fluffy white scale insect. The bug's spreading to the plants on our side! Best of all, for good neighbour relationships, my father elects to remove 'em as they appear instead of applying precise flames to the neighbours' dead twig to get rid of the horrible things. Ok. I admit, I do enjoy hunting those little bugs out and eliminating 'em, but I really would prefer to play Nausicaa and flame them to oblivion. I'm precise enough to handle it, but my father says...leave it alone. Well...it's his plants anyway. I'll be in my Mehve if anyone needs me.

Discussion

Wolf, why do you war within yourself when you desire peace? If one prepares for war to ensure peace, what keeps a war from breaking out just because someone wishes to ensure enduring peace? One can cool fire with heat no more than one can defeat war with war. Why is imagination so important to your mind? If you live less in your mind and more in the world, you become more aware. But what if I lose myself to the world? That is where you strike a balance between your self, and your perception of the world. That which is purifying in one instance may be corrupting in another.

Shit Jobs

One who has the ability to handle anything that comes by should take care lest one becomes required by the powers-that-be to handle tasks ordinary people would not be required to accomplish. A gifting is as much a burden as it is a privilege.

V-day came and went without much ado. I still feel kinda upset at having to spend the better part of my afternoon photocopying notes for the test and then sitting at home 'coz nobody asked me out. Anyway, I got a heart-shaped box of chocolates yesterday. Unfortunately, it was a product replacement for a rather nasty box of slightly stale chocolates. Feeling quite the bit of a loser about it, but at least I can still tell myself that I got a belated V-day gift. =p Hey! Fenris! Gimme a break already.

The Two Dogs

One day, a disciple asked the teacher to tell a story. The teacher obliged and told a tale.Two dogs were constantly fighting in a forest. One was full of anger and a general dislike for good order. The other was good by nature. Due to their inherent differences, they were constantly at war with one another. The disciple asked the teacher which dog won, since they were constantly fighting. The teacher replied, "The one I feed the most."

Groups

Groups. I hate groups. My father before me didn't hate them as much though. Guy stood me up, stuff that turns out looking half-baked despite our best efforts... I say we're better off going solo. But hey...they want us to be social, right?

Speaking of social, the neighbourhood tomcats seem to have taken a shine to me lately. If I stand still, they'd walk over and do a good bit of rubbing even without my coaxing 'em over. I must smell really fertile or something. Still, it's a spot of a disgrace to have a wolf being this attractive to cats. Ugh. Shoo~~...oh but rubbing's welcome, though...erm...go!

Alive

Am I alive? Yes I am. How do I know that I am alive? Because I feel. Do not disembodied spirits feel? Yes they do, but not pain. Disembodied spirits can feel pain in their own way. I breathe. Machines breathe. Are machines alive? No, they are not. Why? They breathe. It is because they do not think. Computers think. No, computers are programmed into how they think. Are people not programmed into their limited fields of thought, limited to the framework within which their learned language allows? People can learn as they go. As can computers. No, computers are taught what they can learn. Peopl can learn only some things because they are willing to learn them. What makes people more alive than computers? People eat. Machines eat, too. Gasoline is the food of many machines. Living things grow. Automated factories grow more machines out of the raw materials. I can be killed. And thus, are you alive.

Awareness and Self

Is it possible to entirely divorce awareness from self? If one can only become aware by saying "I am", one can have no hope of separating the two. Such a pursuit would require one to have an awareness of the reality as it truly is, without the constant gauge of reality in relation to the self. Absolute objectivity of observation may well be the ultimate goal.

Towards a Gender-Free Society

The greatest oppression that society imposes on its members is the fixed concept of gender. While some may insist on the link between sex and gender, it is a rather oversimplistic and skewed view to have. It may be that sexual differentiation is often binary. However, linking sexual differentiation to a strictly binary social construct known as gender has several problematic implications. For one, the non-conformity to a rigid set of standards can only breed discontent. Moreover, the imposition of gender norms will only serve to mold the members of the affected society into certain personas that often have no urge to transcend this social construct in order to improve themselves. An example would be gender stereotypes regarding technological apparatus like computers. Most importantly, the resultant gender gap can only lead to misunderstandings between the sexes. Even heterosexual marriages are bound to suffer in such arrangements. Granted, it may have been successful in less hectic times. However, the impact of the gender divide and hectic lifestyle together has a marked impact on the proportion of enduring marriages in the modern age. In fact, the modern people should have probably been able to divorce sex from gender by now, given the scientific possibilities that make sex completely separate from gender, and how women have sought equal rights as citizens. It is the status quo that keeps people from moving towards this ideal, though. What has always been cannot change without a massive shift in the power structure.

Bombardment

I had a dream of a strange bombardment in a shopping district. Meteors fell from the sky, screaming like tormented souls as they hit the ground. And where they landed, small circles of blue flame spread over the ground and incinerated those unfortunate enough to be nearby. Later on, more meteors came, screaming as before. These, however, burst on the ground and released swarms of fiery beings that chased people down and incinerating them before dissipating. By then, everyone was in a panic and dashing underground. Some tried to catch the meteors before they landed, but the building collapsed before they could succeed.

Of Greed and Government

The success of modern governments in controlling the population stems from the greed of the common folk. They are easily bribed by the meager stipends into doing their jobs, fooling themselves into thinking that they are doing a duty to the people by preserving "public order". In truth, there is no way that a government can maintain its hold over the people without the integrity of its pyramidal hierarchical structure. None are willing to give up their newfound wealth as dogs of the State just for the sake of human liberty and dignity. That is why even worthy opponents of the political regime are cheerfully put down by the very same citizens they seek to protect.

Some Gendered Humour

A woman need know but one man well in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

Women's faults are many,
Men have only two:
Everything they say,
And everything they do.

It's easier to share your life with a dog than a woman because:
Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor.
The later you are, the more delighted dogs are to see you.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.
A dog won't wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Men play at love to get sex. Women play at sex to get love.


Dogs are more rewarding than men because:

You can house train a dog.
Dogs at least attempt to find what the've mislaid before appealing to you.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn't.
Men seldom make passes at a girl who surpasses.
His having a sense of humour doesn't mean that he laughs at your jokes. It means that you laugh at his.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

Men are like computers because:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

Women are like computers because:

Only the Creator understands their internal logic.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
The Error message is about as informative as "If you don't know what's wrong, I'm certainly not going to tell you."

Comfort Me Or I'll Do Nasty Things To You.

You know that things aren't good when you get the rough feeling of something tearing your guts out, stringing them around you neck and then strangling you to death with your steaming entrails. And when things are really bad, you don't die quickly. An average day is when your guts are torn from you and you don't really feel it until they start throttling you to oblivion. It's fairly obvious that good days are when you reach that oblivion without noticing anything missing from that torso of yours.

Now that that's aside, we can discuss business. Fenris! Three words: Priorities, priorities, priorities! You do *not* sit around doing absolutely nothing just because you have a bunch of high-priority things waiting and you're uncertain which you'd rather do first. Just. Do. Something. Oh, and compromises are generally bad things. Nota Bene. Given the number of absolutely disastrous compromises, thou shalt not compromise unless absolutely necessary.

Baka

Fenris is horribly muddle-headed. Fenris has incorrectly recorded the lesson slot on the timetable, and wound up sitting at the canteen waiting for a lesson that was already in progress! Baka baka baka. Thank goodness there was a replacement in the pipeline. Triple check indeed, Fenris. You always miss something.

I heard Katyusha played over the air-raid warning system today. It really sets the mood for meaningless life in a metropolis. Very Soviet. Still, hearing such a tune over the system is a tad disturbing since it is also the name of a particularly deadly WWII weapons system.

Of Norms

There are various social norms with regards to the concepts of masculine and feminine behaviour. It would appear that American concepts of the feminine and masculine are rather restrictive. There are many strict rules regarding such conduct, and any deviation from the expected norms are nearly certain to earn one the label of sexual deviant regardless of one's true sexual orientation. While there may be many variations of masculine and feminine conduct, American concepts of such are by no means the norm across the various cultures. It just so happens that American culture is internationally pervasive due to diffusion by the media and American ethnocentrism. Given the comparatively "loud" voice of American culture via publications in a common international language of English, this is not entirely unexpected. Still, the issue of culture is fairly interesting. While it may seem that long-held traditions are resistant to change, it has been noted that American culture has caused the decline and ruin of several cultures that have been established long before America even came into being. Similarly, American culture may be shaped by an emerging culture with similar abilities to override and consume existing culture. If there is a culture that can override millennia of tradition and development within a short period of time, there must be something highly virulent and superior about it.

The Chest of Drawers

I've finally gotten down to getting rid of that horrible chest of drawers in my room. It's made of compressed sawdust and made a truly awful mess in my room when its base started to come apart when it got exposed to condensate from my leaky air conditioner. Anyway, I placed it at the dumping area and proceeded to punch it to pieces. The wonderful thing about shoddy compressed sawdust is that it makes anyone look like a karate master. 1 inch thick? No problem.

The Last Unicorn

"That cannot be. Why would I be the last? ...What do men know? Because they have seen no unicorns for a while does not mean that we have all vanished! We do not vanish! ...There has never been a time without unicorns. We live forever. We are as old as the sky, old as the moon. We can be hunted, trapped; we can even be killed if we leave our forests, but we do not vanish!...Am I truly the last?" The Last Unicorn

The Last Unicorn is a very touching story, in my opinion. It serves as a reminder of more carefree and innocent times. I think it strikes a chord in me because it stirs certain memories of the past.

The Red Bull in The Last Unicorn seems to be an allegory for man's greed taking away the beautiful things in life. Institutions are set up to control such things and regulate them. And that is why man is never happy.

Timetable

Timetables are scary things. They start off looking really good, and then turn all the way to hell when you actually try to get the classes you want. Funny, that, when someone finally discards the precise slot that you've been aching for. Life's a box of hand grenades, and you'll never know when someone tosses you a pin.

Leave Me Alone!

I can leave the past behind, but why won't the past leave me behind! It keeps chasing up and giving me a nip just to remind me that it's there. I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. I don't like to curse things or people, but I really don't think I can hold the anger in check much longer.

Cornifers

The life-strength of cornifers never ceases to amaze me. I harvested a sprig for mom because she wanted to have little christmassy trees growing in pots. I placed some leaf fragments in my bonsai pot to see how long leaf fragments took to dry out, turn brown and die. It's been two weeks now, and they just refuse to fade away. Even the leaf fragments refuse to go. I begin to have faith in the sprigs from which they came.

Mankind's Destination

Humans are not, perhaps, as blind to their final objective as they are to their reasons for seeking it. Truly, humans seek oblivion, however they are. In mindlessly seeking progress and the quest for Utopia, humans seek not so much the refinement of consciousness as they do the ultimate peace and complacency that being at the pinnacle of progress allows. By striving towards the refinement of knowledge and understanding, humans seek the point at which they need no longer think so hard. The mental stagnation that comes from perfect peace of mind appears to be a valid end to which one must strive towards. Humanity seeks the No-Place.

Equality as Conformity

Unqualified equality is in itself a form of imposed uniformity. While apparently desirable, it takes active effort to maintain, even were this highly unlikely "ideal" reached. In reality, true equality is an unnatural construct due to the fact that humanity itself has a propensity for diversity and domination. Even were humans segregated into geographically separate societies that support equality and those that do not, there is no guarantee that one would not seek to overwhelm the other. Historically, even peace-loving civilizations have been taken by force of arms by war mongers. Moreover, the hegemony of unqualified equality has to be maintained by the suppression of those seeking to push for inequality, with failure of the suppression of which leading to the establishment of yet another unequal hegemony. Hence, such imposed conformity can only be maintained by an existing dictatorial force of enforcers, and/or the presence of a population fully indoctrinated into the ways of unqualified equality. Thus, in attempting to benefit the masses, a certain degree of individualism is sacrificed. All decisions made ultimately lead to a reduction in personal choices available.

Narnia

I watched Narnia with a friend and found it to be a fair show. Whilst the special effects were comparable to the average fantasy movie of this time, I find that the script was somewhat lacking in comparison to the book itself. I'm unsure as to the exact reason, but quite a few subtleties in the book were not present in the movie itself. For example, Edmund seems a lot more gullible in the movie, since he is apparently intimidated/seduced by a queen in a wardrobe in a land that may not even be real. It's more apparent in the book that he's actually being seduced and coddled into helping her. On the whole, however, I do think that I enjoyed Narnia more than the Harry Potter movies.

Random Silliness

A chicken that was a friend, served up at the dinner table, with the co-sharer of the chicken's soul eating by my side.

A dog that was a friend, heaved himself to his feet to hug me.

A storm drain overflowing, with a great red and black crocodile in it. Ran to the shopping area, with drain covers exploding and a great beige snake with hostile eyes and a hood. A pair of groundhog statues bursting out the side of buildings, and an elephant as large as they are.

Another storm drain, full of animals, but half empty this time. A pair of large pythons writhing in a heap. A pair of turtles were mounting while half submerged in the water. Some walruses and penguins present. Some penguins were crying and had large teardrops at their eyes. Tried to return the penguins to the water, but one was stuck on the stones and was crushed in the attempt.

The Seed Within A Fruit

The anima develops as a seed does within a fruit. In detaching from the pod, the seed is not destroyed but carries on. The seed may be under-developed, or it may develop fully. Whatever the case, the seed lasts beyond the nurturing fruit.

Discussing techniques with a fox.

Of Will and Command

The will itself holds little power and cannot do much without the command of the greater forces extant. No matter the endurance of the bearer of the will, the focus and will energies can only be maintained for that long. If one finds a way to harness the greater forces through an act of will, the forces become a natural extension to the original will, and simply magnify the original act of will. An ideal case would be the automatic agumentation of will with the greater forces such that a minimum expenditure of will is required. That will greatly enhance one's capabilities.

A New Year

A new year that isn't really much. Just the usual resolutions that are almost never fulfilled, the fireworks that disappear almost as soon as they're fired. Ephemerality in its purest form, with even time succumbing to its own passage. The years roll past, crushing all in their path, even previous years. And yet it is always today. I have yet to see a yesterday or a tomorrow. It always seems to be today.