Of Shopping and Haircuts

I went shopping yesterday and managed to find all sorts of really cute trinkets. It's remarkable how much one can spend when one visits a shop that sells every single one of its items at a low fixed price. I managed to get a spot of garden fencing that could serve as a sword holder. Lovely, really, since I've not really got a proper place to put my swords. I got a haircut, too. Mom's crazy. Just 'coz she's got short hair, she expects me to keep mine short as well. Anyway, it was nice to get it trimmed some. Gives it more of a shape when I brush it all in place.

Time

Fenris has done it again. Got addicted to Adventure Quest for now. In fact, the main thing keeping Fenris at that silly game is the fact that Fenris has found a decent way to farm experience and gold at a decent rate whilst slaughtering lots of stuff with minimal inconvenience (except for time wasted) The game may be found at the Adventure Quest website What a way to spend time! Anyway, it can be seriously fun, so be warned! Fenris is currently trying to create a vampire Paladin. Fenris loves vampires, apparently, and the power of Paladins.

Dead Twigs

My neighbour finally decided to get rid of that infested twig stuck in a flower pot. Unfortunately, I believe the family's lazy. They pretty much yanked the twig from the pot, soil and all, and hauled it to the elevator landing. Unfortunately, the roots decided that they did not want to haul soil with them, and a great lump of earth was sitting on the staircase landing until it was cleared this morning. Well, at least the infestation will be limited...I hope. It's interesting how much a trail of soil from the pot to the landing, to that lump of earth and a further trail to the elevator can tell a person.

Jack In

We are all like users with limited access to the great cosmic database. Unfortunately, I don't know anyone with Root access. Anyway, what happens when one finally realizes that one does not have to log in to actually have a life? Perhaps one can attain a state of what some know as Nirvana. Me? I'm just more interested in accessing that great database. I bet there's all sorts of useful information in there. Who needs to log off when one can get...Root access.

Seeing Stuff

I see weird things. Why? Because I'm spaced out, drugged, my mind's flakey and I'm not blind. Oh and maybe it's coz I have a knack for associating almost anything to something that's stuck in my head. I do occasionally see strange things that disappear when I try to focus on 'em. Happy? No? Well...too bad. Anyway, I saw a bird and a hand in a cloud one day. Strangely Christian imagery, if you ask me. The hand appeared to be a hand of blessing. At least...I hope it is.

Parasites!

I've got a neighbour who keeps a dead plant in a pot. It wouldn't be such a problem if it weren't totally infested with some sort of weird fluffy white scale insect. The bug's spreading to the plants on our side! Best of all, for good neighbour relationships, my father elects to remove 'em as they appear instead of applying precise flames to the neighbours' dead twig to get rid of the horrible things. Ok. I admit, I do enjoy hunting those little bugs out and eliminating 'em, but I really would prefer to play Nausicaa and flame them to oblivion. I'm precise enough to handle it, but my father says...leave it alone. Well...it's his plants anyway. I'll be in my Mehve if anyone needs me.

Discussion

Wolf, why do you war within yourself when you desire peace? If one prepares for war to ensure peace, what keeps a war from breaking out just because someone wishes to ensure enduring peace? One can cool fire with heat no more than one can defeat war with war. Why is imagination so important to your mind? If you live less in your mind and more in the world, you become more aware. But what if I lose myself to the world? That is where you strike a balance between your self, and your perception of the world. That which is purifying in one instance may be corrupting in another.

Shit Jobs

One who has the ability to handle anything that comes by should take care lest one becomes required by the powers-that-be to handle tasks ordinary people would not be required to accomplish. A gifting is as much a burden as it is a privilege.

V-day came and went without much ado. I still feel kinda upset at having to spend the better part of my afternoon photocopying notes for the test and then sitting at home 'coz nobody asked me out. Anyway, I got a heart-shaped box of chocolates yesterday. Unfortunately, it was a product replacement for a rather nasty box of slightly stale chocolates. Feeling quite the bit of a loser about it, but at least I can still tell myself that I got a belated V-day gift. =p Hey! Fenris! Gimme a break already.

The Two Dogs

One day, a disciple asked the teacher to tell a story. The teacher obliged and told a tale.Two dogs were constantly fighting in a forest. One was full of anger and a general dislike for good order. The other was good by nature. Due to their inherent differences, they were constantly at war with one another. The disciple asked the teacher which dog won, since they were constantly fighting. The teacher replied, "The one I feed the most."

Groups

Groups. I hate groups. My father before me didn't hate them as much though. Guy stood me up, stuff that turns out looking half-baked despite our best efforts... I say we're better off going solo. But hey...they want us to be social, right?

Speaking of social, the neighbourhood tomcats seem to have taken a shine to me lately. If I stand still, they'd walk over and do a good bit of rubbing even without my coaxing 'em over. I must smell really fertile or something. Still, it's a spot of a disgrace to have a wolf being this attractive to cats. Ugh. Shoo~~...oh but rubbing's welcome, though...erm...go!

Alive

Am I alive? Yes I am. How do I know that I am alive? Because I feel. Do not disembodied spirits feel? Yes they do, but not pain. Disembodied spirits can feel pain in their own way. I breathe. Machines breathe. Are machines alive? No, they are not. Why? They breathe. It is because they do not think. Computers think. No, computers are programmed into how they think. Are people not programmed into their limited fields of thought, limited to the framework within which their learned language allows? People can learn as they go. As can computers. No, computers are taught what they can learn. Peopl can learn only some things because they are willing to learn them. What makes people more alive than computers? People eat. Machines eat, too. Gasoline is the food of many machines. Living things grow. Automated factories grow more machines out of the raw materials. I can be killed. And thus, are you alive.

Awareness and Self

Is it possible to entirely divorce awareness from self? If one can only become aware by saying "I am", one can have no hope of separating the two. Such a pursuit would require one to have an awareness of the reality as it truly is, without the constant gauge of reality in relation to the self. Absolute objectivity of observation may well be the ultimate goal.

Towards a Gender-Free Society

The greatest oppression that society imposes on its members is the fixed concept of gender. While some may insist on the link between sex and gender, it is a rather oversimplistic and skewed view to have. It may be that sexual differentiation is often binary. However, linking sexual differentiation to a strictly binary social construct known as gender has several problematic implications. For one, the non-conformity to a rigid set of standards can only breed discontent. Moreover, the imposition of gender norms will only serve to mold the members of the affected society into certain personas that often have no urge to transcend this social construct in order to improve themselves. An example would be gender stereotypes regarding technological apparatus like computers. Most importantly, the resultant gender gap can only lead to misunderstandings between the sexes. Even heterosexual marriages are bound to suffer in such arrangements. Granted, it may have been successful in less hectic times. However, the impact of the gender divide and hectic lifestyle together has a marked impact on the proportion of enduring marriages in the modern age. In fact, the modern people should have probably been able to divorce sex from gender by now, given the scientific possibilities that make sex completely separate from gender, and how women have sought equal rights as citizens. It is the status quo that keeps people from moving towards this ideal, though. What has always been cannot change without a massive shift in the power structure.

Bombardment

I had a dream of a strange bombardment in a shopping district. Meteors fell from the sky, screaming like tormented souls as they hit the ground. And where they landed, small circles of blue flame spread over the ground and incinerated those unfortunate enough to be nearby. Later on, more meteors came, screaming as before. These, however, burst on the ground and released swarms of fiery beings that chased people down and incinerating them before dissipating. By then, everyone was in a panic and dashing underground. Some tried to catch the meteors before they landed, but the building collapsed before they could succeed.

Of Greed and Government

The success of modern governments in controlling the population stems from the greed of the common folk. They are easily bribed by the meager stipends into doing their jobs, fooling themselves into thinking that they are doing a duty to the people by preserving "public order". In truth, there is no way that a government can maintain its hold over the people without the integrity of its pyramidal hierarchical structure. None are willing to give up their newfound wealth as dogs of the State just for the sake of human liberty and dignity. That is why even worthy opponents of the political regime are cheerfully put down by the very same citizens they seek to protect.

Some Gendered Humour

A woman need know but one man well in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

Women's faults are many,
Men have only two:
Everything they say,
And everything they do.

It's easier to share your life with a dog than a woman because:
Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor.
The later you are, the more delighted dogs are to see you.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.
A dog won't wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Men play at love to get sex. Women play at sex to get love.


Dogs are more rewarding than men because:

You can house train a dog.
Dogs at least attempt to find what the've mislaid before appealing to you.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn't.
Men seldom make passes at a girl who surpasses.
His having a sense of humour doesn't mean that he laughs at your jokes. It means that you laugh at his.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

Men are like computers because:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

Women are like computers because:

Only the Creator understands their internal logic.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
The Error message is about as informative as "If you don't know what's wrong, I'm certainly not going to tell you."

Comfort Me Or I'll Do Nasty Things To You.

You know that things aren't good when you get the rough feeling of something tearing your guts out, stringing them around you neck and then strangling you to death with your steaming entrails. And when things are really bad, you don't die quickly. An average day is when your guts are torn from you and you don't really feel it until they start throttling you to oblivion. It's fairly obvious that good days are when you reach that oblivion without noticing anything missing from that torso of yours.

Now that that's aside, we can discuss business. Fenris! Three words: Priorities, priorities, priorities! You do *not* sit around doing absolutely nothing just because you have a bunch of high-priority things waiting and you're uncertain which you'd rather do first. Just. Do. Something. Oh, and compromises are generally bad things. Nota Bene. Given the number of absolutely disastrous compromises, thou shalt not compromise unless absolutely necessary.

Baka

Fenris is horribly muddle-headed. Fenris has incorrectly recorded the lesson slot on the timetable, and wound up sitting at the canteen waiting for a lesson that was already in progress! Baka baka baka. Thank goodness there was a replacement in the pipeline. Triple check indeed, Fenris. You always miss something.

I heard Katyusha played over the air-raid warning system today. It really sets the mood for meaningless life in a metropolis. Very Soviet. Still, hearing such a tune over the system is a tad disturbing since it is also the name of a particularly deadly WWII weapons system.

Of Norms

There are various social norms with regards to the concepts of masculine and feminine behaviour. It would appear that American concepts of the feminine and masculine are rather restrictive. There are many strict rules regarding such conduct, and any deviation from the expected norms are nearly certain to earn one the label of sexual deviant regardless of one's true sexual orientation. While there may be many variations of masculine and feminine conduct, American concepts of such are by no means the norm across the various cultures. It just so happens that American culture is internationally pervasive due to diffusion by the media and American ethnocentrism. Given the comparatively "loud" voice of American culture via publications in a common international language of English, this is not entirely unexpected. Still, the issue of culture is fairly interesting. While it may seem that long-held traditions are resistant to change, it has been noted that American culture has caused the decline and ruin of several cultures that have been established long before America even came into being. Similarly, American culture may be shaped by an emerging culture with similar abilities to override and consume existing culture. If there is a culture that can override millennia of tradition and development within a short period of time, there must be something highly virulent and superior about it.

The Chest of Drawers

I've finally gotten down to getting rid of that horrible chest of drawers in my room. It's made of compressed sawdust and made a truly awful mess in my room when its base started to come apart when it got exposed to condensate from my leaky air conditioner. Anyway, I placed it at the dumping area and proceeded to punch it to pieces. The wonderful thing about shoddy compressed sawdust is that it makes anyone look like a karate master. 1 inch thick? No problem.

The Last Unicorn

"That cannot be. Why would I be the last? ...What do men know? Because they have seen no unicorns for a while does not mean that we have all vanished! We do not vanish! ...There has never been a time without unicorns. We live forever. We are as old as the sky, old as the moon. We can be hunted, trapped; we can even be killed if we leave our forests, but we do not vanish!...Am I truly the last?" The Last Unicorn

The Last Unicorn is a very touching story, in my opinion. It serves as a reminder of more carefree and innocent times. I think it strikes a chord in me because it stirs certain memories of the past.

The Red Bull in The Last Unicorn seems to be an allegory for man's greed taking away the beautiful things in life. Institutions are set up to control such things and regulate them. And that is why man is never happy.

Timetable

Timetables are scary things. They start off looking really good, and then turn all the way to hell when you actually try to get the classes you want. Funny, that, when someone finally discards the precise slot that you've been aching for. Life's a box of hand grenades, and you'll never know when someone tosses you a pin.

Leave Me Alone!

I can leave the past behind, but why won't the past leave me behind! It keeps chasing up and giving me a nip just to remind me that it's there. I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. I don't like to curse things or people, but I really don't think I can hold the anger in check much longer.

Cornifers

The life-strength of cornifers never ceases to amaze me. I harvested a sprig for mom because she wanted to have little christmassy trees growing in pots. I placed some leaf fragments in my bonsai pot to see how long leaf fragments took to dry out, turn brown and die. It's been two weeks now, and they just refuse to fade away. Even the leaf fragments refuse to go. I begin to have faith in the sprigs from which they came.

Mankind's Destination

Humans are not, perhaps, as blind to their final objective as they are to their reasons for seeking it. Truly, humans seek oblivion, however they are. In mindlessly seeking progress and the quest for Utopia, humans seek not so much the refinement of consciousness as they do the ultimate peace and complacency that being at the pinnacle of progress allows. By striving towards the refinement of knowledge and understanding, humans seek the point at which they need no longer think so hard. The mental stagnation that comes from perfect peace of mind appears to be a valid end to which one must strive towards. Humanity seeks the No-Place.

Equality as Conformity

Unqualified equality is in itself a form of imposed uniformity. While apparently desirable, it takes active effort to maintain, even were this highly unlikely "ideal" reached. In reality, true equality is an unnatural construct due to the fact that humanity itself has a propensity for diversity and domination. Even were humans segregated into geographically separate societies that support equality and those that do not, there is no guarantee that one would not seek to overwhelm the other. Historically, even peace-loving civilizations have been taken by force of arms by war mongers. Moreover, the hegemony of unqualified equality has to be maintained by the suppression of those seeking to push for inequality, with failure of the suppression of which leading to the establishment of yet another unequal hegemony. Hence, such imposed conformity can only be maintained by an existing dictatorial force of enforcers, and/or the presence of a population fully indoctrinated into the ways of unqualified equality. Thus, in attempting to benefit the masses, a certain degree of individualism is sacrificed. All decisions made ultimately lead to a reduction in personal choices available.

Narnia

I watched Narnia with a friend and found it to be a fair show. Whilst the special effects were comparable to the average fantasy movie of this time, I find that the script was somewhat lacking in comparison to the book itself. I'm unsure as to the exact reason, but quite a few subtleties in the book were not present in the movie itself. For example, Edmund seems a lot more gullible in the movie, since he is apparently intimidated/seduced by a queen in a wardrobe in a land that may not even be real. It's more apparent in the book that he's actually being seduced and coddled into helping her. On the whole, however, I do think that I enjoyed Narnia more than the Harry Potter movies.

Random Silliness

A chicken that was a friend, served up at the dinner table, with the co-sharer of the chicken's soul eating by my side.

A dog that was a friend, heaved himself to his feet to hug me.

A storm drain overflowing, with a great red and black crocodile in it. Ran to the shopping area, with drain covers exploding and a great beige snake with hostile eyes and a hood. A pair of groundhog statues bursting out the side of buildings, and an elephant as large as they are.

Another storm drain, full of animals, but half empty this time. A pair of large pythons writhing in a heap. A pair of turtles were mounting while half submerged in the water. Some walruses and penguins present. Some penguins were crying and had large teardrops at their eyes. Tried to return the penguins to the water, but one was stuck on the stones and was crushed in the attempt.

The Seed Within A Fruit

The anima develops as a seed does within a fruit. In detaching from the pod, the seed is not destroyed but carries on. The seed may be under-developed, or it may develop fully. Whatever the case, the seed lasts beyond the nurturing fruit.

Discussing techniques with a fox.

Of Will and Command

The will itself holds little power and cannot do much without the command of the greater forces extant. No matter the endurance of the bearer of the will, the focus and will energies can only be maintained for that long. If one finds a way to harness the greater forces through an act of will, the forces become a natural extension to the original will, and simply magnify the original act of will. An ideal case would be the automatic agumentation of will with the greater forces such that a minimum expenditure of will is required. That will greatly enhance one's capabilities.

A New Year

A new year that isn't really much. Just the usual resolutions that are almost never fulfilled, the fireworks that disappear almost as soon as they're fired. Ephemerality in its purest form, with even time succumbing to its own passage. The years roll past, crushing all in their path, even previous years. And yet it is always today. I have yet to see a yesterday or a tomorrow. It always seems to be today.

Work Ethics

Why do some people believe that the newer generation of workers have poor work attitudes? There are allegations that today's youth have no respect for authority, and believe that they have a special entitlement to the world they're born into. I say that people have a right to believe that, even if it possibly ruins their future and perhaps affects the economy of the country at large. I think that if an entire generation of humans can decide to feel that way, something must be wrong with the system that brings them up to become thinking adults. That, or perhaps there is something fundamentally wrong with the old system that is no longer working with the younger generation. One is obliged, perhaps, to perform to the minimum requirements of the job contract as a point of honour. One should not be "expected" to go above and beyond the call of duty just because it would show loyalty to the company. And I think it rather hypocritical for one to do more just for the sake of showing that one has a good work ethic. One does it because one is willing or seeks some sort of recompense through the mercenary application of it. One should not hide behind the facade of having a "good work ethic" just because it's the right thing to do.

Of Homogeneity and Responsibility

Humans are cowards that hide behind reasons for their actions. It is better and safer to act as a part of a large whole than to act alone of one's own accord. Few are ever willing to do things merely because "I feel like doing it." In fact, this behaviour is often strongly discouraged early on in life when children are taught that that particular statement of opinion is usually insufficient. Those who oppose will learn that judgement is passed more harshly on those who reject the authority of the one who passes judgement. Perhaps it is the conditioning from youth that encourages this timid belief, along with the half-truth that there is safety in numbers.

Why Should I?

Sure. I consider suicide at least once every two days. What? No. I don't bother trying, Fenris. It doesn't matter. I'm too proud to just lie down and die. It's a dishonour to our noble bloodline. How does one integrate the fragments of the shattered self? A terminal case of cognitive dissonance. There is no denying one's true nature, and neither is acceptance an option. Death is the coward's way out, Fenris. It is unacceptable.

Chance is in itself a burst of meaning in a meaningless world. It is they who are so used to meaninglessness who are frightened of such meaning.
I am a performer in a Noh play. I join the movements of the painted faces, to strange sounds that I hear but do not comprehend. So I try to give meaning to none. How can there be humanity without freedom, and freedom without security? Exit.

The Infinite Treachery of the Innocent Mind

In the beginning, there was Wolf and Man. Wolf had to live, and Man had to live. Man lived where Man lived, and Wolf lived where Wolf lived. Man saw Wolf one day, and made friends with Wolf. Wolf helped Man, and Man helped Wolf. Why? Because Man had to live and Wolf had to live. So Wolf lived with Man, and kept others away. Wolf that had not joined Man stole from Man. Why? Because Wolf had to live. Man and Wolf kept Wolf away, and Wolf suffered in silence. To this day, Wolf is few and Man is many. Why? Because Man lives and Wolf has to live.

I, Myself.

One cannot deny one's true nature indefinitely. One cannot deny the existence of the desires that come to whisper in one's mind when one least expects it. The cravings that cannot be explained.

I have faith only in myself. Thus am I also my greatest betrayer.

Of Good and Evil

People who worship evil and acts of evil tend to have to believe in an opposite force upon which to base their opposition. That is why one cannot, by definition, worship an evil Satan without a good God. Conversely, there cannot be a goodness worshipper without acknowledging the existence of the evil that one opposes. What, then, of those who refuse to acknowledge the existence of either? Such a stand would mean that one is unable to define either, separates divinity from the concepts, or genuinely believes that neither actually exists.


Christmas was all weird.

The Core of Being

The seeds of Being and the seeds of Memory. One needs not carry all of one's experiences beyond, for it would be too cumbersome. The purest essence of one's true Core is what matters. It's the only Ghost in the Shell. The rest is temporal and of no significance.

Links

As it is above, so it is below. In terms of sanctity, ever more was there ability to form the true links that bound the truth to reality. In commanding the facts that were meant for the central reality, there was to be a point of leadership amongst the threads of possibility. Never again was it permitted to pull at the farthest threads by the access of the nearer ones. Such meddling had unexpected results and were stopped before they could cause further damage.

There is actually a link between the mishaps of today and the actions of yesterday. It is no coincidence that there is an increase in accidents nowadays compared to when the original transports were first increased in number. The boomerang of cause leads to far off effects. And the effects are felt now.

An Act of Defiance

When one rebels for the sake of being a rebel, one tries to differ from the prescribed norm. When a norm shifts, however, one should try to shift with the norm. For example, when everyone used to have to sleep early and wake early, it was fashionable to sleep late. What happens when everyone starts staying up late and all that? A rebel must stay alert to such changes in trends. To do otherwise would be to unknowingly conform. But in mindlessly shifting with the change in trends, a rebel also shows how one is actually enslaved by the trend itself. One becomes a slave to free will. Hence, it is probably better to simply do things at random, where one is utterly unpredictable.

Pain and Suffering

Is it better to feel pain and be able to suffer, or to feel bad about not feeling anything at all? If one kills without knowing that one is causing death, or even hurt, should the one be held responsible?

Why do I not feel anything of its own accord? I understand feelings, and how they should be at appropriate times. I never really do feel them, though. Except perhaps for fear and anger. Some who recall would say that I seldom show emotions. But then, how is one to show that which one does not actually feel? How does a face move to show that one is feeling something? Perhaps one day I'll actually internalize such feelings.

Feelings can be understood by observing the reactions of people in books, movies, around oneself etc etc. But how does one actually know how it feels to be that way? Emotions are such complicated things.

The Ways of Combat

1) A Regular Sword
2) A Fortified Sword
3) An Energy Blade
4) The Dancing Blade

While the highest form of all combat is the dancing blade, the strongest is still the fortified sword. It helps if the fortified sword itself is enchanted, but it is likely only possible through extensive use and channelling of energies through it, often in regular training. Familiarity in the use of a basic blade is instrumental in allowing the smooth use and maintaining of integrity while using it with a minimum of concentration. If concentration breaks while using a fortified blade, there is an actual sword left behind at least.

A red and black crocodile, a beige cobra, two Matryoshka rodents and an elephant.

Books

Books contain knowledge. That knowledge may be flawed or not. However, all the books in the world would be useless without the ability to comprehend them, and the effort to spend time to read them. Fenris! Read your books!

Expectations

An evil person has no good expectations of people. One tends to act as one expects oneself to behave. As such, an evil person can only expect evil to come out of another person who has not proven to be pure and good. Ultimately, an evil person creates more fear in oneself than would be expected had that person not been evil. In hiding and spinning webs of deceit, one leads a far more complicated life than is strictly necessary. Such is the price of evil expectations.

Conformity

Humans have a strange urge to find ways to make everyone conform to the "norm", whatever that may be. People with "psychological conditions" that deviate from the "neurotypical" are deemed to be mentally ill and are often (when detected) subject to treatments specifically designed to make them fit in. While some degree of behaviour modification may be necessary for those who may pose a threat to other peoples' safety, there is little reason for one to be subjected to "treatments" if one is happy or satisfied with being atypical. In removing the root cause that makes such people atypical, some degree of capability may be removed as well. It is the ability to think differently from the crowd that makes people unique. Unless people actively express dismay towards their predicament as a result of being atypical, it should not be assumed that everyone would wish to fit in. Forcing people into the fold may damage them more than it actually helps.

The Children

There were three mothers with three children on the train. Someone got up from the seat. Two mothers rushed their children to the seat while the third ordered her child to stand as usual. One child got the seat, while the other mother murmured that she did not really want the seat for her child, anyway. The other child had to stand. The train ride was long and uneventful. The six people reached their destination station and wound up at the same traffic light. On the green, all of them crossed the road, failing to pay attention to the drunken driver barreling down upon their position. The child who had taken the seat was run over because of the child's weak legs from pampering. The other was pampered, too, but could not dodge in time because the legs were tired from the long train ride. The last child used the legs well-accustomed to standing to take a large step backwards and avoided the car, saving the mother some grief. The mothers were not around to care, however, for the car swerved and took them as well.

Central Database

If memories can be drawn from the central pool of cosmic data, does this data stretch across realities? And if so, would an inter-reality transfer of "knowledge" be rather strange? Perhaps there is the possibility of such data "leaking" across instead of swirling around in one large, disorganized mess.

Knowledge

The more one thinks one knows, the less one is prone to know. Knowledge always seems to have credibility attached to it, and information given by a "reputable" source is likely to be rather credible. The only problem is that others' credibility generally outweighs anything that one would normally have, unless one has one hell of a huge ego.

The Deletion of the Past

The past can be deleted, but the things that were done in the past can and do come back to haunt people. We live in a world that has no past, present or future. We place it all in a chronological sequence to maintain our sanity.

To see an aura, see a person with an aura, and then see that person as if the person was not there.

Children are generally unable to give informed consent for clinical trials. But since they are the ones receiving pediatric medication, doing so would deprive others of valuable research data. Then again, if something should go wrong during the clinical trial, permanent damage could result.

Specialized education is well and good, but it all comes to nothing when the educators are plain unable to handle the "special" students, especially if they lack the patience or know-how.

A Tale of the Moss

There was a patch of moss that grew between the bricks of the path. It never grew taller, but stayed where it was. Feet that came by never trampled it, and the harsh sun did not dry it as it did the ones which grew on the brick itself. The moss flourished, and filled the gaps. None remembered the moss that tried to establish itself on the bricks and failed.

The Absence of Communism

There has never been a Communist state, and neither has there ever been a real Democratic state. Both are ideals that have never been realized, and will likely never be realized in an imperfect human society. It is sheer foolishness that people fight one another over such ideals, declaring themselves subject to these sides that cannot exist in reality. One would think that humans merely require a banner to unite under just to feel that they are justified in having opinions of their own. People hate to do things by themselves, and doing so merely makes them feel uncomfortable.

The Cat

I saw a cat walking along a road today. He looked almost exactly like the one who was run over a couple weeks back. It was a sad reunion of sorts. I really can't stand watching something get run over and die in front of me. A cat's requiem, and a moment of silence.

The Meaning of Everything

There is no greater meaning to life than realizing that life is ultimately meaningless. Being born is meaningless. Living life is meaningless. Dying is meaningless. Trying to die is meaningless. The greatest hope that people harbour is the one that tells them that their lives have meaning.

If one lives, only to die eventually, then there is no point to living life because it will end. If one lives, and is immortal, there is no point to living forever because living is meaningless. If an afterlife does not exist, living life is meaningless because one simply ceases to care after one dies. If one has an afterlife, living life is meaningless because one will end up there anyway. If living life is a way to attain a good afterlife, what is there to ensure that the afterlife is not meaningless as well? And what if one asks in the afterlife, "What is the meaning of the afterlife?", and gets a slow... nonchalant... shrug in reply? Irony. But irony is ultimately meaningless.

Aeon Flux and Brave New World

I watched Aeon flux yesterday. There were some interesting issues raised in the film, and several parallels to Huxley's Brave New World. The concept of artificial birth, the usual sheep-like conduct of the people. The city is a sanitized, self-contained futuristic metropolis. As always, the people are portrayed as sheep, though their conditioning is not like what one finds in Brave New World.

It is interesting to see a similarity to the Guilds in various science fiction works. The Guild is always advanced and acts as an overseer of the common population. In this case, the foating ship turns out to be a cloning facility, the function of which is unknown to the people. It is manned by an ancient, which is a common feature of the Guilds. When the ship crashes, it serves as a symbol of freedom when it knocks the wall down that separates the city from the rest of the world.

The issue of cloning is scientifically questionable, though. The clones seem to retain memories of their previous lives. This is an example of past-life regression, however, and is something that is a rather real phenomenon. Could some memories be genetic?

We also have the typical freedom fighters. Strangely enough, Hollywood freedom fighters never seem to have a true cause. Rebels without a cause, they seem to try to introduce the idea of freedom to the masses by overthrowing a regime of sorts. However, what of the people who have no concept of freedom? Many people have no idea of what it is like to live without a regime over their heads, and simply start following the leaders that emerge and wind up under yet another regime in the end.

In search of the bitter truth and freedom.

The truth is said to set one free. But what happens when the sheer shock of the truth paralyzes one who cannot handle the truth. It is a sad condition when one cannot handle it. What is true freedom? One can think one is free, but is in reality constrained by those beliefs. One can force one's freedom from the constraints of society but wind up enslaved by the needs that arise in that "freedom". The central paradigm of liberty is that it exists only in the mind. There can be no true freedom.

Egg Jams and Executions

The Egg Jams are past. Executions should be allowed on the condition that humans are the ones to be executed. I've yet to see humans being executed for carrying the bird flu or ebola.

I'm currently preparing a master set of Sandman comics. It's really incredible how many comics there are in existence. Wishlist: Death Note manga.

Living a lie

Dear Fenris,
Which would be better: Living a lie and be reasonably comfortable in the deception, or to break forth in truth, be free on the inside but chained by the weight of reality? Worse still, which is the truth, and which is the lie? Or do the two positions change with the seasons? I don't know the answer yet, but I'll figure it out somehow. I always say it, but never seem to figure it out. But there is always one truth:
Remember that I am an illicit procurement specialist.

Perfection

If perfection is the pinnacle of refinement, then it stands to reason that there is only one possible form of perfection. And if perfection is perfect, then there is no way that it can be improved. That would make perfection stasis, since any deviation from the ideal would be going backwards. Is heaven perfect? Is there ever progress in heaven?

Long Distance Relationships

It is difficult to maintain long-distance relationships. This is especially true if one would wish to preserve the closeness that was once present before the other went away. The ties that bind grow distance with the passage of time, and the newer fads and interests are seldom accurately relayed across all that space. Morever, there is no shared experience to go with the discussion, even if the new interests are in common. The relationships invariably and inevitably drift further apart.

Why?

Some people seem to have everything going for them, but nobody really stops to question whether they had paid a high price in exchange for their good fortune. Why me? Because.

My moss is growing well on my pot of bonsai. I spotted a small caterpillar on one of the little plants growing there. Instead of becoming philosophical on how a bonsai caterpillar would wind up on a bonsai pot, I chose to ask it the question, "Can you fly?"

A Memory

A birthday. It was interesting to think of a birthday that had no people coming to celebrate. All 6 cameras in the house failed to operate, and the only one that did, failed after taking 37 shots from a 36 shot roll of film. Now, I wouldn't say that the birthday was an entire disaster, but it was interesting to note how technology always manages to fail at the proper time. I don't know about others, but technology doesn't like me very much. hehe

Nothing Ever Gets Through!

I have some sort of weird mail filter imp guarding every sort of mail I receive. I'm sure that it's an imp or a similarly mischievous being or entity or whatever it is. My important emails never get through even though I have it nearly empty and have no filters on it. My snail mail comes late at best and goes missing sometimes. Even my phone SMS messages can be delayed by hours~~! Then again, I'm quite positive that technology hates me, so that could be a reason. It isn't really a case of ineptness. Stuff works when I'm staring at it. It just fails when I look away, or in front of me when I blink.

Yellow Submarine

I agree that The Beatles' Yellow Submarine is a remarkably silly piece of film, but it is also a rather interesting work of art. It incorporates cubism into a running animation that has a rather surrealist feel to it. I note the inclusion of contemporary icons into the background art as well. It would be a great piece for Cultural Studies analysis.

Reasoned, reasonable reasoning.

The society of modern humans is full of reasoned, reasonable people who do not reason very much. People are dissatisfied with the idea of being happy without a reason, and demand a reason to be happy. Upon receiving such a reason for happiness, they feel liberated to be freely happy without reasoning beyond the surface veneer of reason provided as an excuse for happiness. Happiness, as biologists would claim, is a result of chemicals gathered and interacting with the brain. Thus, there really should not be a reason for reasoned happiness, simply because there is no reason that necessitates it. It is proven beyond a doubt, however, that the people are reasonable. They can be reasoned with and made to accept reasons, however stupid, as long as they are reasonable.

The Housework Paradox

When tidying a room, one must seek to eliminate trash from the room by physically removing it from the area. Rearranging the room would only serve to move the same trash around, and the room becomes increasingly impossible to tidy. Unfortunately, the "it may come in handy" principle is a great hindrance to such efforts. An item may be useless at the moment, and should be removed in order to prevent the buildup of trash in a room. However, this may result in one buying the exact same item later on in life when the item is actually needed. One may be inclined to store the item in an "appropriate place" instead. This may be even worse, given that storing an item thus would likely result in a junk heap somewhere, with the said item buried under years of it-may-come-in-handies. The law of kipple is such: Kipple spreads. If there's nothing that we can do about it, chances are that we simply should not do anything about it. There's no point running; you'll only die tired.

Are your leaders lying to you?

If a country is subjected to the mass media geared only towards protecting the interests of the ruling party, with the citizens screened from all outside influences, how can any one stand up to the regime? Would anybody know? The citizens could be deceived to a point that they accept what they are told. Moreover, if impoverished, they could well be so preoccupied with their day-to-day living that they have neither the time nor inclination to question the words of their leaders. This could also happen in a fairly developed country, when lies are fed to the people on a daily basis. How, then, could they know when their ears are filled with false promises and misinformation? Worst of all, would they say, "Would it matter?"
Freedom and stability are often viewed as mutually exclusive: The more freedom, the less stability. If this argument holds water, it stands to reason that all freedom should be sacrificed in return for stability.

Lightning

There was a lightning storm today. I was appreciating the thunder when a great big flash of lightning lit the sky and managed to synchronize with the circuit breaker tripping. Totally trippy. The power was out only in my unit. The other units were still lit. Anyway, I reset the breaker and all equipment appears to be in order. The other computer has trouble booting, though. It wasn't on at the time of the outage, so I wonder at whether it has anything to do with the surge.

Egg Jams

The egg jam's are a-comin'
Can ya smell 'em comin'?

Yuh. It's that time of year again. The big ugly things that are just a waste of time, and the source of a lot of stress. Timer started, Fenrir! Two weeks remain! Make your time! Move zig! For great justice!

Economic Escalation

I'm positive that the current capitalist system will collapse on
itself in the future (near or otherwise). People are working harder and
harder, and employment is reduced in a bid to improve efficiency. To
maintain employment, people would have to work for less pay (which
encourages further exploitation of the working population). Moreover,
employers will be inclined to work their employees harder if they wish to
remain competitive. Monetary flows keep the economy running, and slacking
off would have disastrous effects, not counting cyclical fluctuations. I
would think that the future would be very interesting indeed.

Dilbert!

It's a little spacey to have watched 12 hours of Dilbert. I now have the urge to grow pointy hair and commit random acts of management. That cannot be a good thing. I think synergy would be the only solution to this problem that is as big as a horse standing under a waterfall. Dilbert is addictive. Be Warned. Incidentally, it also turns out that I actually watched Season 1 AND 2 of the Dilbert animated series. Pretty heady stuff.

Oh. I'm pleased to announce that I managed to get my Navi to manage my Porta-Navi. Turns out that the Porta-Navi isn't up to the task of managing the Navi. (Remember Problem 79, Fenrir) Anyway, the trick was to map the Porta-Navi as a Network drive and work from there. It was a pretty simple solution that toally slipped me by for some time. Anyway...it's a good thing to note, Fenrir. Remember My Computer.

Samhain

Came and went. Just like that. Perhaps I should have done more than let it pass me by. Then again, time is what we have lots of.

Finishing Fable: TLC. Turns out to be the first Microsoft game I actually enjoyed. Uh oh. Dark side shift detected.

Dilbert!

I've managed to obtain Season 1 of the Dilbert cartoons. A beautiful 4 DVD set, chock full of sardonic satire. Cubby dwellers love cubby humor even when they do not actually work in cubbies. It's claustrophobic enough, living in an apartment, to not wish to sacrifice the privacy of a decent door as well. Cubbies are torture! Ban the cubbies!

Writing

Frank Herbert did mention that a true writer would attempt to fill one's free time with the act of writing. Given that chatting on the Wired is the application of a textual medium, would tapping words out on a keyboard count as "writing"? If so, then call me a writer any day of the week.

Cat. Meet road.

A cat, a road and a car. Car sees cat, cat meets road. Cat splatters blood, refuses to die. Cat wriggles and writhes like fish out of water. No sounds, much struggle Much blood. Cat stays still and moves no more. Car is long gone. Later, blood on road, no cat. Cat lying peacefully under tree. Another cat, waiting, watching.

Of Success

I would find that academic success has little bearing on actual real-life success, further strengthening the prevalent hypothesis that academia and "reality" should be separated. Apparently, banking one's future on that A+ in some college is really expecting too much out of the education system. Something should be done about life skills rather than theoretical analyses.

Oh. I'm quite certain that I've got a fae or three hiding about my house, making things just...disappear. I always find stuff only after ranting, raving or making vague threats about using more steel in my works. I would suppose that I should've put out some milk and cookies. Problem's that I'm a bit short on milk and cookies. They're probably laughing at my expense, not that it's particularly damaging. Or could it be that technology just hates me, and the system invariably has some sort of a hiccup every time I try to do something important by a high-technology means...hmm...

Blood and ashes

The noose tightens, always. The inexorable momentum of the pendulum. Like a sword hanging over a head, it moves down, down, ever down. One is never free from the passage of time, though one may try for it. Swish, swish, swish. Cutting through without resistance. So many things consumed and passed on in the passage of time. A life, a candle flame in a windy room. *puff*

Flight of the Hummingbirds

Flitting about blossoms,
drawing the nectar in.
Staying only for a moment,

Reekin' Bots!

I'm getting a little sick of all these little blog-commentor bots. I know that nearly nobody reads my blog, and it's rather strange seeing "people" appreciating my blog and pointing me in the direction of some webpage. It's blog-spamming! I wonder if anyone is aware of this.

Oh, and my toe doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did when I slammed it. I figure it's probably healed back to functionality, since it doesn't hurt when I walk, and most of the redness and swelling's gone. Whew. Not sure if I dare to wear shoes just yet, though...

Freedom or Happiness

If one had to choose between the two, which would one choose? Should enlightenment be more highly prized than a rudimentary awareness and the contentment that comes with it? Humanity is often synonymous with freedom, and the machine-like dedication to the social juggernaut is often abhorrent. Should progress be for the sake of discovering The Truth, and what is it that The Truth can do? Would a contented and stagnated society ever be able to discover The Truth?

People are overly engrossed in their day-to-day survival and make no effort to consider the greater realities. This would probably not be a problem with the presence of an enlightened leadership. However, how can one expect sound leadership when the leaders were drawn from the same stock as the great unwashed masses... Besides, if the leaders were superior in some way, they should be the ones putting effort into improving the lots of their inferiors.

A Good Experience!

I think I may have fractured or at least badly sprained my little toe. I was kicking my shorts off and wound up smashing my little toe against the door frame. It looks really nice now. All black and blue (alright. More like brown and red) and Hurts Like The Dickens(tm). Given that it's swollen and hasn't recovered in 2 days, it's probably more serious than a mere bruise. All hail the new and improved little big toe! I'm feeling lame, but I've a right to, given how I'm limping about. Lamers unite!

Bullies

There was a boy being bullied on the train today. He had a cardholder worn around his neck. The older kid tore it after some horseplay. Upset, he started crying and lamenting about his father getting angry and violent. Instead of comforting the boy, the older kid jeered him, saying that he wasn’t afraid of the boy’s dad. The boys around him joined the alpha bully, teasing him and saying that they weren’t particularly afraid either. They moved away from the crying boy when the bully took a seat that was freed up.
Apparently, these boys prefer those with a macho façade and crying is a big no-no for them. While I was tempted to intervene, I also remembered that people should not be coddled but allowed to learn to fend for themselves. A sad but true fact of life.

Sheer Geekiness!

I managed to set up a 3-computer LAN without using a router of sorts. Best of all, my 3 systems can now access the internet simultaneously. Blame me for my cheapskate nature, being unwilling to buy a router to get them all online =p So...the current setup looks a little like this:

Old Navi (Ethernet cable) -----> Navi <----- (Firewire) Porta-Navi Wired It isn't the most elegant, but I do rather prefer to have wires connecting my systems rather than one of those radioactive and leechable wireless connections. They're expensive, too. *grin* Ok and I decided to buy that Sony DVD Writer after all. It came with some really cute gifts. One was a little circular screen cleaner, a keychain DVD opener and a retractable computer brush. The DVD opener really puzzled me because it was a little circular contraption with a small blade inside and a DVD case-sized slot on it's side. It turns out that the spring-loaded blade protruded when a little knob inside was depressed, slicing into the plastic wrapping of brand new DVD's. Nifty!
The computer brush had a penknife-style button on it's side that pushed the bristles out for use. No more worries about getting the bristles all messed up from improper storage! Kawaii!

In The Pipeline

I'm now considering the Sony DVD Burner. It looks mighty interesting, though the read performance leaves something to be desired. The front bezel does match my desktop casing, though... I think it would look mighty fine on my system. That's not to mention the fact that it's actually rather cheap in comparison to everything else on the shelves. I guess it would suit my basic needs, given the reasonable price. *draws crosshairs* I shall sleep on this.

Your Personal Web of Lies

A lie is revealed as a lie only when conflicting information turns up. If one is consistent in lying, everyone gets the exact same disinformation and wind up believing the lie simply because they reinforce each others' beliefs when they meet up to compare notes. Hence, one can easily be caught in one's own web of lies, but would probably get away with it if one would keep it simple. So ... go forth and spin your own web of lies today!


My mantis at my place, praying so hard for salvation.

Road Sweeps!

I was on a bus today, watching people boarding as I waited for it to leave the bus stand. There was a road sweep clearing leaves by the roadside, and I was mindlessly watching his strokes. Suddenly, he turned, grasped the broom by one hand and dashed towards the bus. I saw him grasp an elderly man by the elbow, supporting him as he was about to fall while boarding the bus. I admire his agility and awareness, since he managed to reach the old man before his daughter noticed that he was losing his balance. Best of all, he didn't drop his broom. Now there's a good road sweep!

A Tale

There was a child, going for the exams one day. Father was sick and bedridden, but Mother told the child to go for the exam, and make the family proud. Father forced a brave, reassuring smile, and the child knew what to do.
The child sat for the exam, answering all the questions with ease. It was as if Father was sitting together, helping out with the questions.
The child went home, rather pleased. The exam was aced for sure. Mother declared with a tearful eye, that Father died while the child was at school. Mother forced a brave, reassuring smile, saying that she knew, and was proud.
The papers came back, and the child's grades were high. The child sat by the beloved Father's grave, dictating the wonderful scores. Father would have been proud that the child didn't stay at home to watch him die. The child hugged the stone, and left the score sheet behind.

Use What You Have

I was just thinking about how some people have so many giftings and make little of what they have, and how others yearn for those gifts but have none to call their own. It's sad how so many people take their blessings for granted and never make an effort to develop them. I've a goodly number of people trying to follow their dreams but wind up being held back by their lack. I guess it's a very sad phenomenon. I'm in a similar situation half the time, figuring that life isn't worth living and that things just won't get better with time. They probably wouldn't, and such miracles are about as probable as winning the lottery. But still, I have hope, and that counts for something. Carpe Diem!

Oh and on a side note, I'm still mourning for the lost teeth. The gaps in my grinders will serve as a good reminder of the importance of action, and the consequences of indecisive inaction.

There Goes Another

I sent my friend off yesterday. He's going overseas to study and I hope he'd have a great time over there. By the gods! I'm running out of friends over here! But I am quite happy for him since he's got a shot at living someplace else. It was that same old scene at the airport again. It seemed like it was yesterday that I sent another chap off. And then I would recall how much I miss him too. But hey...life goes on. Besides, there's a rather screwy arrangement going on with my schooling, and I don't think I'd like the situation in the next semester. Blame my indecision, as usual. I'm probably the most indecisive individual for about 1 meter all around.

The Passover

Well, looks like the storm passed with remarkably few casualties and it seems that the anti-war protesters are out again. Guess it takes a national calamity to bring people to their senses.

Anwyay, I'm wondering what's chewing at my time. There are times when I feel that I'd not been doing anything in particular but still wind up spending lots of time. And they're not games, in case some people are thinking it.

The Storm of the Millennium

Two cat 4 hurricanes hitting roughly the same area. What chance is there? One would think it was divine retribution. Some think that the city of New Orleans was sinful and thus punished for its occult practices and gambling. I don't. I think this is all a result of the chaos spawned from the actions of humanity. That butterfly sure flaps its wings hard. These things are too unpredictable for people to point fingers about, but I think the Kyoto agreement would have helped some, and perhaps should be looked at a little more closely. I'm not some rabid environmentalist but I think something should really be done about the environment. The environmental changes are happening too rapidly and all sorts of terrible natural disasters are happening as a result. Maybe the droughts and starvation in Africa aren't a result of pollution. Maybe the storms are unrelated to global warming. Still, it's better to be safe than sorry. For one, I'm still roasting my butt off in the heat. I know for a fact that it is warmer now than it was a few years back. Got my temperature charts to prove it. Still, I pray that those in the hurricane-hit regions would be as well as they can be in the face of such a monstrous storm, and that the world leaders would find a way to handle such crises, if not work on reversing the damage to this earth.

An old friend

I'd just finished a very old game. I'm pleased to announce that it is really really old. Published: 1996. Title: Dust: A Tale of the Wired West. Actually, it was buried deep in some pile of random stuff in a dusty corner of my room. Now this is what I would call "Closure". It really is a nice way to finish another incomplete chapter in my life. Heh. I recall that my friend was convinced that I was unwilling to lend the game to him 'coz I kept saying that I couldn't find it. The irony (though expected) was that he didn't want to borrow it anymore now that I found it. Well, that's that. Another job well done, Fenrir.

Hamsters!

Someone did come up with a manual for the Hamster Fighting Machine! No...it isn't a machine that fights hamsters, but it really looks useful. I hope I don't end up doing Something Very Wrong, though. hee~~ So anyway, just refrain from stabbing people with your Hamster Fighting Machine(tm)

Think Different (In roughly the same way)

I would say that Apple is for conformists. No? I *know* that their designs are infernally cool (that's why I've an iBook and iPod =p). However, they're unique only because they have a minority share in the techno-market. Everywhere I go, that oh so darned pretty iBook exterior would be propped up somewhere. What if they were more common? Would the world be flooded with identical white (and undoubtedly pretty) casings? *shudder* Just a thought. It does sound like uniformity to me. *wink* I was just wondering where all the modded Apple items are hiding out. (And no...pasting stuff on your iPod shuffle does not really constitute modding)

Apple's really trying to stretch that iPod concept. With that new iPod Nano, I seriously wonder if the iFlea would actually become a reality. It really is rather weird to have equipment that happens to be rather small and have such large accessories to support its function. For example, I'd suspect that the Nano's charger and earphones would weigh more and be bulkier than the original item. Freaky.

No Foam!

It's official: iPod earphones feel better without their crummy foam covers. They look better, too! Anyway, I'd decided to just clean them more often and use antiseptics from time to time. Sure beats getting near earmuffs and getting my poor ears sore from sticking foam-covered stuff in 'em all day.

That Numb Ear

My iPod loves me and my handphone hates me. Proof? Here it is: My reflection in the ipod's shiny mirrored backplate is a whole lot cuter than the crappy photos my camera phone takes. Apparently, my camera phone is intent on emphasizing each and every ugly contour of my face. Bad, bad phone!

Oh and my ears are certainly numb. I was looking at my ipod earphone, wondering where one of the foam covers had gone. That foam cover always slips off. Thinking a bit, I'd figured that it wasn't likely that the foam cover simply fell off onto the floor. I'd instinctively checked my ear and found it lodged there. Ack!

A New Hazard on the Roads

Yeap. Fenrir's now a new road hazard. Beware the car that staggers about like a drunk on New Year's eve. One shot, one kill, says I. I'm pleased to announce that I'd managed to pass the practical driving test at the first sitting. Whew. And dangerously close to the failure mark, too. Ack.

Anyway, the day started with an early morning rousing. That was terrible, by the way. I was so sleepy and felt quite incapable of giving my best. I linked up with my instructor and drove myself to the test circuit, and did a trial round. The trial round went poorly and it seemed as if I had pretty much lost what little skill I originally had. Not to mention the fact that I'd wound up waiting like around 40 minutes for my tester to arrive (he was late.)

The circuit part of the test went pretty much without a hitch. I think it was probably cut a little short since the tester was late and we were under a time constraint. Understandably, I didn't point that out to him *grin*. I'm proud to declare that I had not so much as knocked a pole since day 1 of parking training till the actual test date! Fenrir banzai!

I would say that on-road was harrowing at best. Being overly nervous, I had forgotten my highway rules and didn't move out even when I had the right of way. Ouch. My instructor was stressing that I should re-enter the testing grounds by a certain lane after the on-road portion, and I did manage to do the exact opposite of that. Oops again. Well, anyway, I'm very grateful that the tester was kind and understanding, and passed me in the end. I guess he did feel a little bad about being so late and perhaps understood that I was rather nervous.

Now, back to Fenrisian Death-Sense, I did have some good vibes from him. I guess it was a touch of the "potential success" kind of a feeling when he got into the car with me. I don't believe in luck, but I do know when things are going right and that a sufficient exercise of skill and discretion would push things through. Well, anyway, here's to my new license! *huge grin* Candies all around!

Damnable Scales!

I woke in the morning, stepped on the scale and was unpleasantly surprised to have gained an entire kilo overnight! I then realized that I had forgotten to pee. Oh well.

I got my iPod yesterday! It was horrible, waiting for it. I was holding off visiting the com center for like a month, only to have them tell me that they had tried calling me but were unable to get through. And I was really really waiting for their call! Anyway, it was great. I like it a lot since the sound quality is Pretty Darned Good, and that it has this huge capacity for music (yeah, so you guys probably know this already). My main gripe is with that nifty mirrored backplate of the iPod 20gb. My prints are all over it. Augh.

Forgetfulness

It's horrible when you really want to write something in the blog and just forget about it before you can log it down. I'm having that sort of a problem right now, since I seem to forget stuff all the time. So much for being a scatterbrain.

Anyway, I was thinking of quitting Kendo. It's not so much of being unable to cope as being unable to bear the heat. *gah!* The armor is seriously warm and given how much I sweat even in light clothing, I probably wouldn't manage well. It is a pity, given the fact that I think I'm managing fine, and that my skills are improving. Perhaps I should just move to a cooler place and take it up there. *laughs*

Drivin' on 12 hours

I was well rested today, given my wonderful 12 hours of sleep. I really wonder how I'd managed to do that, in the first place. Feeling well rested, I'd managed to breeze through the driving lesson. It was one of the very few times I'd actually managed to handle things without grumbled at for doing things at the wrong time (normally because I'm feeling a little woozy and not really taking stock of happenings). So, here's to a successful driving test attempt. I really hope to make it on the first shot. It just means so much to me. Gambatte!

Nature Vs Nurture

Just when one would think that war and terrorism would be the worst things to hit humanity, nature decides to up the ante by inflicting another great kill count upon mankind. Nature vs the nurture of our greatest killers? No contest.

Anyway, it's rather ironic that the USA is so able to handle international incidents while having one hell of a time handling this terrible tragedy back home. I'd always felt that the defense of the homeland is far more important than pre-emptive strikes, especially when the action may lead to overextension of limited military assets. The military has always managed to step in and assist in such crises, but they happened to be away when they were needed most. Anyway, my prayers go out to the survivors of this calamity and I hope they have all the help they can get. New Orleans was a truly vibrant, beautiful city and I hope that it will be rebuilt better than it originally was.

Think Different

I was looking at the other laptops in the stores, and examined the catches on the laptop displays. I noted how most of them had hooks that stuck out. Others had no visible hooks as the displays were spring-loaded to stay closed when shut. I went home and had a good look at my ibook and wondered how the cover stayed shut. I had noticed the catch on it but never really bothered to figure out how it worked. So I closed it and heard the familiar click as the catch engaged. I looked into the gap and saw the hook switch down just when the lid was nearly shut. Very subtle. Moreover, as the catch wasn't exposed most of the time, it had a reduced chance of being knocked and thus broken off. Think Different! *laughs*